insert sad username Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 i'll try to make this short..Ex broke up me ex after 3 year long distance relationship, 5 month of no contact..Just last week we exchanged a few texts and yesterday she told me she was 4 months pregnant! the guy of course did not want it and told her to go through abortion, what's even worse is that he has a girlfriend! he was her rebound too and it's just a big mess! I am heartbroken! our relationship, my hopes to rekindle our relationship is gone! nothing else matters anymore..I can't believe she would just have unprotected sex with some guy she barely knew..I have no choice but to move on but I still love the damn girl, what do I do? Link to post Share on other sites
Toddbt12y1 Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 You do what you said you had no choice to do: Move on. Her questionable actions have put her into this place. It should not be your place to pick her back up. To raise another child. Her character comes under scrutiny. She was sleeping, unprotected, with a guy she barely knew, and one who had a girlfriend of his own. You do not need this. It is a mess. Consider yourself lucky. Five months of waiting and hoping is far too long. Start working on you, and getting you fixed. Then after, look for some girl, who is better than this one. She is not all that. You love her, indeed, it'll hurt. But, for yourself: Be strong and stay away from her and all sources of her. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
flightplan Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 Take her off that pedestal. You think you know who she is but you really don't. Seriously, you really don't. You may not realize it right now, but she did you a huge favor and you dodged a bullet. Walk away and count your blessings. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 what do I do? You give it up, you force yourself to move on...in your subject line you use the words "Game Over"... yes it is... Sorry.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author insert sad username Posted February 21, 2014 Author Share Posted February 21, 2014 you guys are right..It's just so sad that she went out to do something like this..they met at a party too and just became each others rebound and kinda lived together. she was so smart and capable of accomplishing so much! she won't be able to finish school anymore and I pretended to act happy for her and told her to keep me updated on her pregnancy journey (I know STUPID!) I didn't want to tell her off because she told me she had been through a lot since she found out and is finally coming to terms of going through the pregnancy. Should I tell her how I feel whenever she texts me again? a part of me wants to tell her how much I love her and that I finally have to let go of her..I know we can be friends in the future cuz we were best friends before anything got serious but right now, I need time to take it in and accept it..it's so hard to do my daily tasks right now with this on my mind..I have so much to do and can't let this hold me back again. I should've stayed no contact but I was so lonely and needed someone who knows me well to talk to Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 She is a big girl and can take care of herself. Do not allow yourself to continue to be her tissue box and doormat. Focus on you, you are all that matters from this point forward. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
firefly2613 Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 you guys are right..It's just so sad that she went out to do something like this..they met at a party too and just became each others rebound and kinda lived together. she was so smart and capable of accomplishing so much! she won't be able to finish school anymore and I pretended to act happy for her and told her to keep me updated on her pregnancy journey (I know STUPID!) I didn't want to tell her off because she told me she had been through a lot since she found out and is finally coming to terms of going through the pregnancy. Should I tell her how I feel whenever she texts me again? a part of me wants to tell her how much I love her and that I finally have to let go of her..I know we can be friends in the future cuz we were best friends before anything got serious but right now, I need time to take it in and accept it..it's so hard to do my daily tasks right now with this on my mind..I have so much to do and can't let this hold me back again. I should've stayed no contact but I was so lonely and needed someone who knows me well to talk to I'm sorry that this happened to you. I really think the best thing you could do right now is block her from your life, change your number. You're not emotionally ready to deal with chatting with someone you love who is pregnant with another man's baby. Do you have any close friends in real life? If so, it's time to open up to them on a level you never have before. Friends are other people should help with that loneliness. It doesn't seem like it now but you will look back at this in a little while and think, "I'm so glad". Because you really did dodge a bullet. It's sad to watch someone's life changing, probably for the worst, especially if that person is someone you cared deeply for. But she has made her decisions and now she must live with them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author insert sad username Posted February 21, 2014 Author Share Posted February 21, 2014 I'm sorry that this happened to you. I really think the best thing you could do right now is block her from your life, change your number. You're not emotionally ready to deal with chatting with someone you love who is pregnant with another man's baby. Do you have any close friends in real life? If so, it's time to open up to them on a level you never have before. Friends are other people should help with that loneliness. It doesn't seem like it now but you will look back at this in a little while and think, "I'm so glad". Because you really did dodge a bullet. It's sad to watch someone's life changing, probably for the worst, especially if that person is someone you cared deeply for. But she has made her decisions and now she must live with them. You're right, I did dodge a bullet here. I guess I did not know her well enough for those 3 years or she just lost it! but she did help me realize some things to change some of my ways and it's just mind blowing how she does the complete opposite of what is right..and she knows the right things to do but still decides to get herself in situations like this. A part of me wants to understand her better as to why does she do this? why? is there something in her past that affected her? did she move to quick with this guy for the sake of having someone next to them? I have a million questions running through my head but it all doesn't matter anymore! what's done is done and there is no turning back. I bursted into tears having flashback from when we first met to events leading to now and it's feels unreal.. Link to post Share on other sites
firefly2613 Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 you guys are right..It's just so sad that she went out to do something like this..they met at a party too and just became each others rebound and kinda lived together. she was so smart and capable of accomplishing so much! she won't be able to finish school anymore and I pretended to act happy for her and told her to keep me updated on her pregnancy journey (I know STUPID!) I didn't want to tell her off because she told me she had been through a lot since she found out and is finally coming to terms of going through the pregnancy. Should I tell her how I feel whenever she texts me again? a part of me wants to tell her how much I love her and that I finally have to let go of her..I know we can be friends in the future cuz we were best friends before anything got serious but right now, I need time to take it in and accept it..it's so hard to do my daily tasks right now with this on my mind..I have so much to do and can't let this hold me back again. I should've stayed no contact but I was so lonely and needed someone who knows me well to talk to You're right, I did dodge a bullet here. I guess I did not know her well enough for those 3 years or she just lost it! but she did help me realize some things to change some of my ways and it's just mind blowing how she does the complete opposite of what is right..and she knows the right things to do but still decides to get herself in situations like this. A part of me wants to understand her better as to why does she do this? why? is there something in her past that affected her? did she move to quick with this guy for the sake of having someone next to them? I have a million questions running through my head but it all doesn't matter anymore! what's done is done and there is no turning back. I bursted into tears having flashback from when we first met to events leading to now and it's feels unreal.. I understand. In a weird way, I can relate to what you're feeling. My ex left me and got married. My first thought, and everybody's first thought, was that she was pregnant. So that was quite a blow for me. She says she isn't though. Now she spends most of her time partying. She's changed everything about her self - clothes, hair, personality. I spent - and still do spend - a LOT of time wondering "why" or "what did I not see"? But that's just a waste of time. Who knows, maybe something just snapped in their heads and they wanted to go another direction with their lives? It's like how people suddenly disappear..sometimes you just want to do something different I guess. If it helps, pretend aliens swept down and abducted her and implanted a chip in her brain. Women are weird. This is a blessing in disguise. The finality of it will help you to finally move on. You're gonna be fine. Link to post Share on other sites
MoooOinkBaaa Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 Outside influences cause insecure people to change drastically. The dumped is part of that change. Link to post Share on other sites
StringsAttached Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 Bro I swear if you get back with her, i'm going to find you and beat some sense into you. J/K seriously though, you dodged a bullet. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Imightfail Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 consider yourself lucky. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author insert sad username Posted February 22, 2014 Author Share Posted February 22, 2014 I can't argue with anyone's advice here..you are all right! It hurts and it's tough to get through but I have no choice and like I said I'm sure anything related to me is the last thing on her kind. She has to figure out how to support a child as well try to get the father involved etc. I'm stupid for initiating contact in the first place..I clearly see that it only sets me back once again but now I feel worse..I won't express myself to her cuz she's going through a lot as it is so why bother? This was the deal breaker and a kick in the ass to put her in the past and focus on what lies ahead..thank you everyone Link to post Share on other sites
Author insert sad username Posted February 22, 2014 Author Share Posted February 22, 2014 I seriously feel so worthless right now..she's gone..everything is gone, all hope is gone! I can't accept what is happening right now. I should've tried harder, I should've not stopped reaching out to her! NC ****ed everything! I love her so much Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted February 23, 2014 Share Posted February 23, 2014 Don't blame yourself, she's not a little girl to watch over. Keep it together, and get back to NC, for good. Tell her you wish her luck and maybe a nice farewell to it, but that's it. You might love her but in the meantime she's 'loving' other people unprotected. Just be happy her nature was revealed to you before you would have gone further in your relationship. Who knows, at worst she could have tried to make you believe it's your own... Either way, the 'what if's don't matter anymore. Don't live in the past. Don't try to cling to something that doesn't exist anymore. Why she has done what she did I can't tell you, probably that girl doesn't know herself, but it's unhealthy and you've dodged a bullet that could have influenced your life greatly - negatively. But guess what, there are women out there who will let you experience love, REAL love, who don't throw it away for sex or anything like that. Link to post Share on other sites
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