almathea Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 I am currently in an LDR...we have been talking and all for a yr plus.....we talk on the phone every night...and webcam and all that......my thing is he told me he is going to a game with a girl that is a friend of his.....and i totally trust him...it's just hard that someone else is having access to something I would gladly sell my soul for....has anyone else had this problem??? I know he loves me and theres no one else he would want to be with......just wanted to get some feedback.... Link to post Share on other sites
ladyinRED Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 oh believe me, I've gone through that. but sweetie, please realize that if he does love you and you love him, trust is so essential!!! don't worry about it cuz then it will just drive you CRAZY. appreciate the things that happen during the relationship because if u ever broke up u'd be upset that you didnt see the little, wonderful things that were going on. Link to post Share on other sites
happyjade Posted January 21, 2005 Share Posted January 21, 2005 I too have also been there, let me just tell you guys are scum they tell you what you want to hear and love playing that card. If you live miles apart there is no way you could find out. LDR never works out trust me I know, and if he’s telling you he loves you he could be saying that to someone else he is spending time with. If you trust him that is what matter but then you would have not posted this message if you did. Trust me girl you may be in for a ride cuz it will drive you crazy, and its not worth it. Link to post Share on other sites
jellybean Posted January 21, 2005 Share Posted January 21, 2005 When was the last time you saw him in person? Link to post Share on other sites
emotionsmessmeup Posted January 21, 2005 Share Posted January 21, 2005 oh yea.. my ex actually spoke very often to this girl who was in another city.. when i broke up i just aked for 1 thing...that he not talk to her or get closer to her for the nest 2-3 months but no he talks to her a lot... and at the same time he sayd he misses me! yea right whatever.. he says she is a buddy.... DO I LOOK LIKE A FOOL! Link to post Share on other sites
Author almathea Posted January 22, 2005 Author Share Posted January 22, 2005 Just because I posted this topic doesnt mean I dont trust him..because truthfully I do...and I dont think he is just telling me what I want to hear...I think hes being honest with me....I have never been jealous before with anyone else I have been with....and we are meeting in person for the first time in a week and a half.....I just am not sure how to deal with being jealous.....because I have honestly never had something this powerful before....I think LDR's can work...if both people are totally willing and work together...but thats just me.....thanks for all the advice so far.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author almathea Posted January 23, 2005 Author Share Posted January 23, 2005 I was married when I met my LDR friend.....We started out just friends...we met on Xbox live...and hit if off right away and quickly became freinds. We talked for awhile on there and then he had me join his xbox website..and after awhile we started talking on the phone....it was very sterile at first...and our phone conversations were very sparatic in the beginning.....but as of 8 or 9 months ago our relationship evolved....we began to found that we were attracted to each other and started talking everyday...for hours at a time.....and we got on the computer every night.....I soon realized I couldnt carry on in my marriage and be fair to my husband and my daughter*who i have* she's still a baby...just so u know.....so I decided to end it with my husband...even without my LDR in the picture....I knew I had to end my marriage.....so I left my husband and moved in with my mom..and me and my LDR have been doing great....I had a visit planned for the first week of feb....my family knows about him...*at least the close ones* and there reactions have not been good or kind...nor have I expected them to be....but he hasnt told his family anything about us....well we love each other...and knew we could make it through anything.....even moving and all that....well his parents confronted him about it..this week....and it's been a ****storm ever since....... he is now telling me he's not sure he can do this......and that he is afraid....and all the things that he told me we could work through...are now suddenly a problem....he said he's been pushing these issues away...but I dont believe that...I know what we have is real....and no one can convince me that its not....i love him and don't want to lose him...he's had ldr's before that didnt work out...but never did they talk for as long as we did.....and he said he has never felt like this before....my concerns are.....if I dont fight for this I would regret it for the rest of my life.....I have never loved someone like this before....should I just let him walk away...I honestly believe we have a chance....I just wanted to vent...and get some ideas...please be gentle..i am having a really rough time of it...plus I am supposed to go up there in feb...the ticket has already been paid for......so fire away.....if anyone has been in a similar situiation i would love to hear wat you have to say.... Link to post Share on other sites
jellybean Posted January 23, 2005 Share Posted January 23, 2005 OMFG!...well this sure is a far cry from your other posts : Dealing with jealousy in a LDR Why do you keep referring to this as an LDR?..it's an internet-romance, and the two of you haven't even met! Now you reveal to us that there's a kid and a husband involved...I need time to absorb this...I'll get back to you later with my advice. Link to post Share on other sites
Proto Posted January 23, 2005 Share Posted January 23, 2005 Originally posted by jellybean Why do you keep referring to this as an LDR?..it's an internet-romance, and the two of you haven't even met! Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner! Link to post Share on other sites
jellybean Posted January 23, 2005 Share Posted January 23, 2005 First, thankyou to the mods for merging the threads into one.... I know what we have is real....and no one can convince me that its not.... almathea...you are in an extremely difficult situation. It seems crazy to have so much emotional investment in someone you have never met IRL...people can form very stong bonds with someone they have met on-line, it can feel just like real love (even stronger) but IMO it is not. There has to be some regular inter-action in person, for it to be real love. Now he's telling you that he doesn't think this whole thing is a very good idea, right before you two are scheduled to meet...this must be very painful for you. There was a good thread on this recently : http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t54606/ Link to post Share on other sites
Author almathea Posted January 23, 2005 Author Share Posted January 23, 2005 Thanks jellybean for the advice....and for linking me to the other post...helped me with some of my decisions....he has ended it so I guess it has taken care of itself..... Link to post Share on other sites
Author almathea Posted January 24, 2005 Author Share Posted January 24, 2005 now that hard part is how move on with things...and not thing about all this.... Link to post Share on other sites
jellybean Posted January 27, 2005 Share Posted January 27, 2005 almathea.... It's been a few days now, and I'm just wondering how you are doing. I know your pain....hang in there hun Link to post Share on other sites
Author almathea Posted January 27, 2005 Author Share Posted January 27, 2005 terrible...thanks for checking on me.....it's been a rough few days..last time we talked was sunday....so i am an emotional wreck.....thank you for being understanding....i really do appreciate it.....and i cry alot... just kind of stuck in emotional hell... well anyway...thanks.... Link to post Share on other sites
HotCaliGirl Posted February 15, 2005 Share Posted February 15, 2005 Wondering how you're doing almathea... Link to post Share on other sites
Author almathea Posted February 16, 2005 Author Share Posted February 16, 2005 thanks for checking back....doing okay...everyday is finally getting a little easier...of course I havent heard anything from him....and I still miss him like crazy......part of me hopes I will still, even if I dont I will still be okay.......but things happen for a reason I guess.......yesterday was the first time I had cried about him in a long time.....but I am feeling like myself finally again....i appreciate everyone here on LS for all the great advice and making me take a sobering look at myself and my situiation......LS is the best.....I am so glad I have found you all...... Link to post Share on other sites
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