I messed up. Trying for the last time??

[ariesgirl-328]

Basically I met this guy online that goes to my college and we connected really well from the start. So we met for the first time over dinner on Tuesday which was an amazing date! True, I wasn't attracted to him physically but his personality and everything he had in common with me ended up overshadowing that and I began to see him as physically attractive as well.

 

That first night, I slept over at his apartment(I know :| mistake.) All we did was cuddle.

 

2 days later, we didn't talk much so I kind of assumed he wasn't interested and I started losing interest because I felt rejected so when he texted me finally, I just told him I did not want to see him anymore. He got very upset and I realized that what I was thinking was completely wrong and I apologized.

 

So then he asked me to go meet up with him at his apartment and eat lunch with him after my classes ended. I did. And we made up and had a great time. During this time I was on my period and cramping terribly with a headache but I went over to his apartment because I really wanted this to work out.

 

A few hours into it, he got upset over something small I said and became completely stonefaced and shut me out. I didn't know what to do because it just became awkward and I felt like I was going to burst into tears( I know a period is no excuse for acting like a child :| but that is what happened) , so I got up and left, but I turned around immediately and went back to his apartment and apologized.

 

We sat in silence when he finally said "I think you should leave. You are just too immature for me because you keep leaving me. I don't deserve to be treated like this at my age.".......So I quietly left.

 

Later that night, I messaged him to please give me another shot. He said "No thank you. Don't text me or come to my apartment. Goodbye." and I replied "if that is what you want, I will respect that, goodbye."

 

So yesterday, I bought him a teddybear and put $30 in an envelope with a note saying here is the money I owe you(he spent a tonnnnn of money on me during the date, I think it would have been wrong if I did not return some of it atleast), and I wrote in Spanish "No quiero ser mas tu rival" which means I don't want to be your opponent. I hung this all in a bag on his door, knocked, and left.

 

For some unknown reason, I still don't feel like I've tried hard enough to get him back or to show him I want this relationship to happen. I've been thinking of going to his apartment one last time, and just telling him that I didn't mean to leave him the second time, I just didn't want him to see me crying or tell him about my period or the pain I was going through while I was there. -----I don't know if he would understand but I really feel like I should give it one last attempt because the connection we had was definitely something I don't want to give up and I think there is a chance he would understand.....

 

Does anyone have an opinion on what I plan on doing today??????? I know its really desperate, but if he rejects me yet again, that will be the end because I can only take so much hurt and I will never see him on campus since he is older and takes different courses.

 

Thank you for any responses!!