How Do You Catch a Cheating Spouse with a Forensic Computer Examination ?

[george roy]

Hi all,

 

There's another thread that touched on this. A member (thanks, Yaz ) suggested starting another thread with this as the topic.

 

So like the title says...

 

Where do you look for these kind of services ?

 

What kind of Google search do you plug in and/or what sort of places offer this ?

 

And what's an average cost for something like this ?

 

It's my understanding that they can put a 'key' into the computer (I'm guessing USB) and then access info from a remote location ?

 

Any information regarding this would be greatly appreciated...

[Yarrow]

If anyone even thought of doing this to me, I'd grab my ID, bank cards, documents, valuables, hard drive, and run away as fast as I could. In the dead of the night if I had to. Even if there was no affair. Especially if there was no affair. I've been looking around on the board and most of the people who discovered affairs did so just by directly asking after getting a gut feeling based on fairly indirect evidence. That's similar to my clinical observations. It appears that the cheating spouse just cracks under the pressure of direct questioning. If you feel you can't trust her, then say so and end it.

Edited February 22, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Editorial commentary redacted

[Yasuandio]

Yarrow, evidence is evidence. And for your information, Yarrow, there IS an Affair in this case. Your gut doesn't help you in a custody battle in Court. The guy has a right to ask a simple question on LS about how to obtain evidence on a spouse that he believes is having an affair. Your opinion on this method was not requested.

 

I gave him this idea - PM me if you, or anyone else feels the need to slam someone. Yas

Edited February 22, 2014 by Yasuandio

[TheBladeRunner]

Yarrow, evidence is evidence. And for your information, Yarrow, there IS an Affair in this case. Your gut doesn't help you in a custody battle in Court. The guy has a right to ask a simple question on LS about how to obtain evidence on a spouse that he believes is having an affair. Your opinion on this method was not requested.

 

I gave him this idea - PM me if you, or anyone else feels the need to slam someone. Yas

 

Unless it has been stolen (see bold). Beware of this OP, it's a fine line to walk. Personally, my gut told me something was wrong; I confronted her and although it took a few hours, she finally admitted it. I didn't need all the details.

 

For your case, if you are having custody issues, I can understand why you may want to do this. Find a local IT expert and get their take on it, I have a friend (IT Security for a local corporation) I discussed this with and he told me that even when we were married for me to hack her Facebook account COULD be construed as breaking the law. Even the phone (text) was off-limits because the "plan" was in HER name.

 

You could try a key logger, but if you are not living together it may not be a good idea. My friend advised me not to do this after I left the house, but by that point, I had all the evidence I needed.

 

You can Google "IT Security" for you town and you may find some results......you may want to add the word consultant to it as well. Also, try talking to someone at a local "mom and pop" type computer repair place; those guys can have a wealth of information.

 

Again, I caution you because you will be asked where the "evidence" came from, and if it was hacked or stolen you will have some serious egg on your face. JMO.

Edited February 22, 2014 by TheBladeRunner
Adding

[Yarrow]

Sorry. Did I mistake him for the guy who was going through the trash? Because that was rather dubious and creeped me out a bit.

 

Where I live, the courts don't care about this when it comes to custody battles or division of assets. The only thing where cheating matters here is that if there is infidelity, then they waive the requirement where you have to wait 1 year before the divorce can become final. Ditto for domestic violence. But realistically, if there's a custody issue, it's going to be at least a year of fighting before you'll get that sorted out anyways, so it makes very little practical difference. So where I am, once you know there's an affair, you decide to stay or go. No more snooping required. You've won your moral victory, if that's important to you. If his court cares, then that explains why he needs those services. I apologize.

 

But I stand by the principle of this: if my ex had tried to install a keylogger or put a GPS on my car, I would have left in the night. That crosses the line for me. And I was utterly devoted to him until he took off on me.

[carhill]

OP, my first stop for such inquiries would be my lawyer, since they'd be involved in any marital action anyway. Lawyers know reputable investigators and reputable investigators know the statutes of the jurisdiction or consult with their attorney when in doubt regarding what illegal or legal evidence gathering is and what the risks are when collecting illegally or seeking to entrap the target. Better to use professionals and be prepared to pay the costs. For most circumstances, IME, especially in my jurisdiction, their services probably aren't worth the cost except where a contentious custody battle may ensue and the fitness of the co-parent could turn upon such evidence.

 

The 'how' would be an investigator enlisting an IT professional to gain access through network connections, or physically or digitally clone the computer's memory storage/network storage or install software to monitor the activity on the computer. Some acts may be legal and some may be illegal. It depends on circumstances and statute.

 

Good luck.

[Yasuandio]

Getting some good advice here. Main thing is to keep status quo, and keep your mouth shut at home, married life as usual. Don't let her know what you already know.

 

A "family computer" is a "family computer." your property is your property. That is my take. If it was you child's Internet activity you were looking at, there would be no issue. But make darn sure that it is ALL on the up and up, of course. The specialist's will know the laws in your area. As Bladerunner points out, these laws vary from state to state.

 

But as I said on your other thread, once the D-word comes up, or separation takes place, this becomes an invasion of privacy.

 

Personally, I wouldn't give two hoots in h__ if the info were for to use to convince me. That's for Dang sure. Yas

[newmoon]

But I stand by the principle of this: if my ex had tried to install a keylogger or put a GPS on my car, I would have left in the night. That crosses the line for me. And I was utterly devoted to him until he took off on me.

 

 

but how would you know if someone did this? the OP is probably looking for something covert to 'catch' the person so it's not likely your bf or anyone else would tell you you're being tracked. I would sure as heck do it and even looked into tapping his phone to determine whether or not my ex was cheating. OP, just go onto Google and search for companies that offer the service(s). it's not always about needing and/or wanting proof for the court, but more for validating your feelings. that being said I did just straight up ask my ex and he caved and admitted it readily, so I didn't have to do any covert stuff. but it still would be nice to know who the other person was, etc. some of us just really want to know details.

[Yasuandio]

OP, my first stop for such inquiries would be my lawyer, since they'd be involved in any marital action anyway. Lawyers know reputable investigators and reputable investigators know the statutes of the jurisdiction or consult with their attorney when in doubt regarding what illegal or legal evidence gathering is and what the risks are when collecting illegally or seeking to entrap the target. Better to use professionals and be prepared to pay the costs. For most circumstances, IME, especially in my jurisdiction, their services probably aren't worth the cost except where a contentious custody battle may ensue and the fitness of the co-parent could turn upon such evidence.

 

The 'how' would be an investigator enlisting an IT professional to gain access through network connections, or physically or digitally clone the computer's memory storage/network storage or install software to monitor the activity on the computer. Some acts may be legal and some may be illegal. It depends on circumstances and statute.

 

Good luck.

 

$5000 Retainer for PI firm attorney suggests. And they are usually in each other's pockets. You pay for a 3 dummies to drive around and disappear your money in 2 days, with typically nothing to show for it. That's the system. Be careful.

 

Best to get your own intel (but don't get caught) - find a small firm, separate from attorney. Then, you know exactly where to send PI. Get a ruputable PI that sends one out. It doesn't take three stooges to drive to appointed place.

 

If you cannot handle it, and remain totally cool - then you get the PI. But, I tell you, it does not go like CSI. They run up the bill with following - the most expensive method. Even the BEST firms. Makes me sick.

 

If the spouse admits it - they will trickle truth you - and you will never really know the full scoop. What's even more maddening is when spouse tells you that you have no proof! That can really make you crazy - for years to come. On the other hand, sometimes it's better not to know the details. I am happy I do not know the proof now. But years ago, I wanted it bad, really bad. Y

Edited February 22, 2014 by Yasuandio

[carhill]

My advice was based upon my interactions with my own law firm and questioning regarding my exposure as a MM, legally. That's how the process was explained. I spent time in court in front of a judge with my lawyer so came to respect his professionalism and relatively reasonable costs for the advice received.

 

Now, if the OP is solely interested in evidence for their own peace of mind and never would seek to use evidence for legal action and can effectively mask any illegal acts they commit, that kind of PI work is completely feasible. Really what it boils down to is risk management. Like my lawyer said, he can tell me off the record what actions can be taken, even if illegal, and advise me what my risks are if choosing to partake in them. If my downside risk is little, criminally or civilly, then that factors into the choice. It's unknown what the OP's downside risk is, if performing computer forensics to suss out cheating evidence. It's truly YMMV.

[Yasuandio]

Listen man,

 

You strike GOLD when Carhil responds.

 

My response is based on one of the biggest, baddest kick a$$ divorce firms, and PI firms in Atlanta. That was my experience, and what I learned from it.

 

Carhill had better luck with his professionals. During that time frame, I am sure I was no where near as business savvy as Carhill. I was also walking around with undiagnosed bi-polar desease, I wasn't thinking right, so I was extremely vulnerable to being taken advantage of. I just handed over my American Express Card and trusted whatever attorney said, and was completely disappointed in PI results (they even got caught!) -- ALL the results, in fact.

 

So, as Carhill says, "you milage may vary." Good to be aware of all scenarios during these emotional times IMHO. Y

Edited February 22, 2014 by Yasuandio

[trippi1432]

In my state, a spouse can sue the AP for alienation of affection. Some residents here have won millions (you play, you pay). Have to have evidence for those types of trials, not sure how they proved their suits because who is going to go on trial and honestly admit they had an affair??