rtobiejr Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 [color=violet]A while back, my fiance and I began contemplating where we would call home after we got married and moved in together. His parents still own the house that he grew up in, and they suggested that we might be interested in taking a look at it. It was a small, 2/1 house, with a nice yard, and patio area. When J. took me to see the house, he asked me what I thought, out of the earshot of his mother, who was showing us the house. I told him that I thought it had potential, but that I wanted to look some more. We plan on getting married in November of 2006, so we don't really have to rush into anything. Fast forward several months later--J. tells me that he's got all the papers together to begin the closing process. I, of course was very upset, telling him I thought we should look some more. He responded that he thought I liked the house, we're not in a position to afford anything more because I'm still in law school, I can go look if I want, but he's already looked at houses (i.e. extremely defensive and irate). In the interests of peace, I did not argue with him. Instead I told him to go ahead, since he'd already begun the closing process. The thing is, I keep seeing homes that are less expensive, and need considerably less work. I feel so discouraged and vexed with him over this whole affair that I can't put it into words. To be sure, it is just a starter home, but I feel that we are bound to put more into it than the damn house is even worth. What can I do to stop feeling so irritated and miserable about this? He apologized for being so rash, but I get so mad everytime I think about it, I could just spit! [/color] Link to post Share on other sites
Author rtobiejr Posted January 20, 2005 Author Share Posted January 20, 2005 grrrrrrrrr Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 Stop getting mad and talk rationally with him. If he's already closed on the house then you are stuck with it since you gave him the go-ahead. Set some boundaries on what you will put money into, and when you plan on selling. If he has not closed on the house tell him that you want to look elsewhere because you understand how special it may be for him and his parents, but that you want a home that is just yours and can be filled only with your own memories. Find out why he is so adamant about this house. Maybe he has some kind of agreement with his parents and this helps them somehow and that is the main reason for his decision? Talk WITH him, not to him and be thorough. If you start getting mad, count to 10. Link to post Share on other sites
Author rtobiejr Posted January 20, 2005 Author Share Posted January 20, 2005 As it turns out, his parents did not benefit from this either. They paid closing costs (which were about $30,000) and after paying taxes on the sale, they might as well have just given us the house in the first place. Link to post Share on other sites
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