Cannot believe what I have done. Should of listened! [updates]

[BC1980]

We have a staff away day coming up in 2 weeks today. It is where the company reward us for hard work. It is taking place at a theme park actually. We have hired a room for a morning and will complete like a staff appraisal and stuff like that and everyone will sit down and see company goals, objectives, commendments etc, then the park in the afternoon. WE all meet at one office and get a coach together. Unless she drives herself (which is possible) Then it is inevitable I am going to run into her. How do you think I should be? I really don't want to even acknowledge she is there to be honest but I want to do the right thing here, what are peoples thoughts?

 

I would ignore her unless you are forced to have direct contact. I definitely wouldn't seek out any contact, even to say hi. You don't need to be friends with her. You only need to be civil and unemotional if it is absolutely necessary. You don't need to ask about her life or wish her well. You really don't. It's fine for everyone else to be friendly with her, but you have a different past.

 

I haven't yet run into my ex at work, and I struggled for a time with wondering if I should even say hello to him. I decided against it. Everyone else can say hello to him, but my history is different with him. He is dead to me for all intents and purposes, and that is how I will conduct myself anytime that I see him.

[Chi townD]

Yeah man, feel free although I have just realised that its like 19 pages now ...

 

You know what its almost Christmas man... This has quite possibly been the fastest year of my life so far. It's such a shame.

 

I hope this Christmas goes ok. I'm so used to spending them with my Ex that I need to ensure positive changes keep coming. This is my first Christmas in 2 years without her so that will be another challenge I have to overcome.

 

Thank you for your kind words Chi I really do appreciate it. Without your support I wouldn't of made it this far.

 

It was like the lowest of the princes man. His name is Andrew. I suppose just being all over the paper was enough lol but I continued and feel as though its really paid off.

 

Another question I do have for you though. Bit of a stickler really.

 

We have a staff away day coming up in 2 weeks today. It is where the company reward us for hard work. It is taking place at a theme park actually. We have hired a room for a morning and will complete like a staff appraisal and stuff like that and everyone will sit down and see company goals, objectives, commendments etc, then the park in the afternoon. WE all meet at one office and get a coach together. Unless she drives herself (which is possible) Then it is inevitable I am going to run into her. How do you think I should be? I really don't want to even acknowledge she is there to be honest but I want to do the right thing here, what are peoples thoughts?

 

Also just to keep you updated I still haven't been given my staff plaque and certificate, after speaking with one of the management here I believe they may be awarding me with these at the staff away day morning so I'm really quite looking forward to that ...

 

Thanks to everyone for there kind words and support without all of you guys I would of seriously struggled. I continue to swear by this site and shall continue to post my achievements (just tell me if your fed up of me!)

 

Mike

 

 

 

 

LOL! Gee, Let me guess. Is it at the West Midland Safari Park? Dude, you already know the answer to this. It may feel awkward with her there but you should present yourself that you don't have a care in the World. Remember, you're probably going to be recognized at this event. So, this is YOUR day. Don't let her spoil it for you. She'll find this as an opportunity to congratulate you. Just smile and say "thanks" and keep all of your answers short and to the point, then move on. Excuse yourself and talk to someone else.

[Hollywood-Tourist]

To the OP, your ex sounds like my fiancé when you say she doesn't accept responsibility.

 

 

All I can suggest is that you move on & forget about her, don't waste another second on her - she's proved that she isn't worth it.

[ComingInHot]

Then it is inevitable I am going to run into her. How do you think I should be? I really don't want to even acknowledge she is there to be honest but I want to do the right thing here, what are peoples thoughts?

 

How would you greet your third cousin, twice removed, second cousin who was adopted from a foreign county and doesn't speak or understand your language and your third cousin, twice removed, didn't introduce you himself because he forgot your name as this was the first time you met him in the middle of a crowded room?

okay then, do the same with the ex*

[Chi townD]

Then it is inevitable I am going to run into her. How do you think I should be? I really don't want to even acknowledge she is there to be honest but I want to do the right thing here, what are peoples thoughts?

 

How would you greet your third cousin, twice removed, second cousin who was adopted from a foreign county and doesn't speak or understand your language and your third cousin, twice removed, didn't introduce you himself because he forgot your name as this was the first time you met him in the middle of a crowded room?

okay then, do the same with the ex*

 

 

 

LMAO!!!! WHAT?!?!?! That's good but....WHAT?!?!?! I literally chuckled at this. I have to steal this.

[ComingInHot]

LMAO!!!! WHAT?!?!?! That's good but....WHAT?!?!?! I literally chuckled at this. I have to steal this.

 

 

Sometimes it's just important to smile and not mind about the little things, ya know?

Seems to me that at this juncture, OP's ex is just that, an X, a little thing that needs no thought

 

Glad I could make you smile

CIH*

[Simon Phoenix]

I'd keep it polite but short if it happens, but I wouldn't seek her out or initiate any contact.

[Michael 93]

Then it is inevitable I am going to run into her. How do you think I should be? I really don't want to even acknowledge she is there to be honest but I want to do the right thing here, what are peoples thoughts?

 

How would you greet your third cousin, twice removed, second cousin who was adopted from a foreign county and doesn't speak or understand your language and your third cousin, twice removed, didn't introduce you himself because he forgot your name as this was the first time you met him in the middle of a crowded room?

okay then, do the same with the ex*

 

Excellent analogy !! Thank you.

[Michael 93]

LOL! Gee, Let me guess. Is it at the West Midland Safari Park? Dude, you already know the answer to this. It may feel awkward with her there but you should present yourself that you don't have a care in the World. Remember, you're probably going to be recognized at this event. So, this is YOUR day. Don't let her spoil it for you. She'll find this as an opportunity to congratulate you. Just smile and say "thanks" and keep all of your answers short and to the point, then move on. Excuse yourself and talk to someone else.

 

Woah man how do you freakily know about West Midlands Safari Park, DO NOT tell me you have been there!? Even though, No it isn't there. Not far though!!

 

Yeah, but then again she may not and could be a bitter woman. Who knows? I had no idea any of this sh**storm was coming when we were together. She's definitely kept me guessing so far..It will feel a little awkward I know that, I still get a bit anxious if I see her colleague and stuff like that. But as me and my mom say, another challenge to face and overcome.

 

I will keep you guys posted on what happens.

 

Mike

[Chi townD]

Woah man how do you freakily know about West Midlands Safari Park, DO NOT tell me you have been there!? Even though, No it isn't there. Not far though!!

 

Yeah, but then again she may not and could be a bitter woman. Who knows? I had no idea any of this sh**storm was coming when we were together. She's definitely kept me guessing so far..It will feel a little awkward I know that, I still get a bit anxious if I see her colleague and stuff like that. But as me and my mom say, another challenge to face and overcome.

 

I will keep you guys posted on what happens.

 

Mike

 

 

I haven't been there, but I have a friend that has. He said it was weird to just drive your car around the place...but whatever.

 

 

Yeah dude, just remember that this day is probably about you. If she's there, don't let her rule your day.

[Michael 93]

Not sure if you guys will remember but I spoke about a friend in the army who gave me some information on my ex, pictures etc..

 

Well this time he has struck again. But this time was much much more painful.

 

He popped up and said "I have some intel on her" Before I knew it there they were, pictures of her wrapped around some other guy. Kissing him, falling into his arms captioned *the one who always makes me smile* (This was him by the way) another one of her on her own saying *my mrs is so stunning I'm a lucky man*

 

The weird thing is, the guy she left me for? It wasn't him!?

 

for those of you that remember my story she left me and pursued a doorman at the club she goes too, what's crazy is obviously that ended, the new guy she is with she also met at the same club like WTH??

 

This is someone completely different, I am shocked because he is really not her type, he again parties lots and is always out drinking etc, they look happy and all lovey dovey which is fine, well and good. All the best.

 

I'm frustrated, hurt at the fact my friend would do this even after I had told him not too. But more frustrated and upset at the fact this has still affected me in this way, I am disappointed in myself because I don't want things to affect me. not after 10 months.

 

One thing that was getting to me is that Christmas is coming up. its going to be the first time in 2 years without her and I was really worrying about that, but I feel even worse now that I know she will have someone there with her, I always find this a special time of year with your partner and that hurts.

 

My friends have been supportive and for that I thank them, they seem to think its because I have no-one there myself is why I am struggling with this. I don't really know why it is. I am sad at the minute and in fact I feel like a lot of progress has been undone.

 

I don't think her and the first fling were actually official. I never knew she was in a relationship as such with him. Now I do.. I know that what she's in at the moment is proper, whereas before I never really knew.

 

This has seriously set me back, I am booked in with my doctor (something I haven't done since B/U) for next week because I don't want to be in this place no more, I thought id conquered it. I feel like I've improved so much but obviously not for this to come like a bolt out the blue for me.

 

Me and my mom was talking about it this morning and I made a comment on how I was "punching above my weight, and she was too good for me" she absolutely flipped out saying she was proud of what I had become and no way is she too good for me, I should be proud of myself.

 

Just thought I'd share that with you guys. I am prepared for an onslaught but its nice to get it off my chest.

 

A "sad" Mike

[frigginlost]

Michael that has got to really suck. Sorry Bro.

 

Step back and think of it another way. My buddy did the same thing to me with a previous girlfriend, not to be mean, but to piss me off (in a good way). It's very possible that your friend is sharing intel not to hurt you, but to push you to anger and to show you just what a rotten human being she might be. From the sounds of it, she's out whoring it up. Knowing that she now speaks with her uncrossed legs, is that someone you really want to miss?

[tikay00]

Dude, STOP!!! Now you know it's over. STOP finding intel on her!

[Michael 93]

Michael that has got to really suck. Sorry Bro.

 

Step back and think of it another way. My buddy did the same thing to me with a previous girlfriend, not to be mean, but to piss me off (in a good way). It's very possible that your friend is sharing intel not to hurt you, but to push you to anger and to show you just what a rotten human being she might be. From the sounds of it, she's out whoring it up. Knowing that she now speaks with her uncrossed legs, is that someone you really want to miss?

 

Thanks for your advice man. I agree. I think the same as you. He said afterwards that he would rather me hear it from him than someone else.

 

Yeah. I mean from what I've been told there was no info on the guy she left me for. no pictures. no statuses comments nothing.. yet with this one it's pictures and lovely dovey stuff on his instagram.

 

I went to see my doctor earlier. rather than refer me he give me a number to call and speak too.

 

I keep drifting into sadness now and again. Trying to keep busy. Your comments helped cheer me up. Thank you a lot.

[Chi townD]

You got a good mom there to bitch slap some sense into you. She's absolutely right. And you should be proud of everything that you've done. Look at what you've done for yourself. You're a rockstar at work, you've made positive changes in your life, you've traveled to Italy and you have more trips planned for the future (I hope).

 

 

I told you from the start that her and steroid boy wouldn't work out. And look what happened. She threw you away for someone she didn't keep. Now, she's bouncing around from dude to dude with guys that she's meeting at the club. Now, lets think about this for a second.

 

 

I speculate bouncer boy dropped her. But, she's hooking up with dudes from the same club and putting lovey dovey crap online. Guess what? It's not to get under your skin! She already knows you blocked her and can't see the stuff she's posting. She's doing this crap to get bouncer boy jealous. Chances are steroid freak didn't block her. So, now she's at the club flirting with other dudes in front of him, taking dudes home and probably making sure that he see's her leaving with someone else.....does any of this sound remotely familiar to you? Nothing ever changes with this bitch. Same MO, different players.

 

 

SO, lets take personal inventory. You are rockin it at work, people are happy with your performance. You hang with your friends and (I think) you still work out. You're doing stuff and keeping busy, and just a few months ago you were sitting on the Canal in Italy drinking wine and soaking it all in as well as seeing and talking to VERY attractive Italian girls.

 

 

Vs.

 

 

A chick that doesn't know what she wants in life. Have bounced around three or more dudes within a year. Goes to work, does her job and nothing more. Then, goes to the SAME club doing the SAME crap day in and day out. And is doing nothing but playing games with peoples feelings to get what she wants.

 

 

Now, as an outsider reading that, which one do you think has a more fulfilling life?

 

 

Dude, you just got knocked back a few pegs, but you are definitely not at square one. Get your revenge! Lead a damn good life!

Edited November 5, 2014 by Chi townD

[SoThatHappened]

Could not agree with Chi more.

 

Especially when you look at things from a logical, third-party standpoint as he has laid out for you.

 

You're winning at the game of life. She's banging bar flies.

 

I know it hurts to see and hear what you've seen and heard, but when the logic comes back after this minor setback, you'll be even FURTHER along in the healing process.

[BC1980]

I think this stuff hurts so much because a lot of us know we could do better. I don't mean with outward stuff like appearances or money but with the way we were treated. Something like that is going to hurt if you see it. I don't know the friend's intentions, but I personally wouldn't want photographic evidence. It's one thing to know this stuff but seeing is a lot worse and honestly unecessary.

 

I had a setback as well when I answered the phone at work, and my ex was on the other end. It's been 10 months NC for me also, and it still got to me. Still upset me. We're only human. Try not to allow this to consume you, and try to see it in the bigger picture of your life. This is just another bump in the road, and you are still moving forward.

[Hoosfoos]

She sounds like an idiot, and I think you'll see in the long run you'll be better off without her.

[MistaYates]

I think the issue is, you allow your friend to give you intel on what shes doing. Who cares? Tell him to stop. Thats what put you back.

 

What you need to do is COMPLETELY get her out of your life. Who cares about her? Make her dead to you. I know its harsh, but shes obviously moving on (Maybe is a whorish way), but she is. Stop dwelling on this girl man. Most importantly, dont allow such a toxic woman to live in your mind without paying rent.

[David87]

In time they won't affect you anymore.(Photos of your ex with other dudes)

 

I saw a couple myself with my ex loving other guys and like you I was devastated at first but as the time passed the feeling of frustration faded away.

 

She probably doesn't even know your last name and you're still crying over her....Michael its time to man up....ten months have passed.

[Michael 93]

Totally agree with you all.

 

Chi thanks again for the words of wisdom.

 

I agree that i need to get this woman out of my life forever. I have asked my friend to seriously remove her from instagram and that's enough now. I don't want to know anything else. The thing is . He said. I don't think your going to want to know. but by then its too late and I'm eager and anxious to know what it was.

 

I take a little positive from this that at least she's not with the guy she left me for.

 

You are all right and yes she's moving on. Infact she seems very happy and good luck to her I do seriously wish her the best. I have deleted instagram again to stop looking at his posts (couldn't help myself last couple of days) because that was just unnecessary pain.

 

I know David. Thanks for being another supportive figure throughout my thread.

 

I just want to reach indifference

 

Mike