Cannot believe what I have done. Should of listened! [updates]

[somecamel]

@Chi townD

 

I have been meaning for your input on something though. This is going to sound extremely coincidental but the girl I happen to be now seeing actually has a past with my exes new boyfriend. I only just uncovered this information and I can see how messed up it seems ...

 

I'm not sure now whether to cut this off or not as I can see how its going to look. I like her and I enjoy spending time with her but it looks extremely childish so I'm a bit unsure as to what to do...

 

Thoughts??

 

Sounds like a swingers party:P

[Chi townD]

WHAT?!?!? Seriously? What kind of "past" does she have with this guy? Did she used to date him?

 

 

Dude, your life is like one big damn Soap Opera!

 

 

And NO! Don't cut it off! Are you insane! If she's beautiful and enjoys spending time with you and you enjoy spending time with her and you make each other happy, then it doesn't matter what happened in the past. What's is important is the "now and the future".

 

 

For me it all goes back to what my father told me. You treat the right girl with kindness, love and respect then she's going to give that back to you PLUS a hell of a lot more. Now, look at it this away, if new girl got that from the steroid freak, she's still be with him. But, he doesn't have a clue how to treat a girl. Hell, you've been going on for the last couple of pages on how your Ex was on the fence. Apparently, she's starting to notice that he doesn't know how to treat her either.

 

 

So, use this to your advantage. Show model girl on how a guy should treat a girl. But, don't put her on a pedestal. Treat her right, do little things for her and give her complements. Make her feel important to you. Let her think that your Ex is extremely stupid for letting you go! And here's a secret. Here's the key to keeping a girl interested and wanting to spend time with you. Make her laugh. Make her smile and make her laugh. She'll feel comfortable to be around you. She'll have already discovered that you're interesting and, perhaps, charming in your own way. Believe me, it works.

 

 

I have been to England before. Loved it. I spent time in Dover, Brighton and London. I loved London for a very special reason. And that reason had a name. If I remember correctly, her name was Emily. I was in a little restaurant at the hotel I was staying at. I have having dinner and looking at a map. I saw this very cute girl having a bite to eat herself and she was going over some paperwork. So, I bit the bullet and I went over to talk to her.

 

 

I said, "Excuse me, but I'm trying to read this map and even though it's written for a 5 year old, I still can't figure out where Piccadilly Circus is. Could you show me?" And guess what! She smiled and giggled at this. She took the map and showed me and we just talked! I told her I was just on Holiday and checking out London and she was there for a job interview that she had the next morning. She was from Norwich I think and she just graduated with a degree in Marketing. After talking for a while, it was still early in the evening and I asked her if she wanted to go get a drink and she said, "sure! But, just one because she had that interview in the morning." We went to one place and had a drink and talked a little. And true to my word, I didn't push her to stay out any longer. We walked back to the hotel and said goodnight to each other. I wished her luck on her interview, and that was it....that night.

 

 

The next morning I was out and walking around. Did some shopping and went back to the hotel to drop off my bags and luck would have it, Emily walked into the lobby! I asked her how her interview went and she said it went pretty well. She asked me how Piccadilly Circus was. I said it was extremely disappointed. Piccadilly Circus isn't actually a Circus! No clowns or elephants..." She laughed at that. So, I asked her if she was interested in grabbing some lunch or is she checking out and going home. She said that she was staying on another night because she was meeting up with some friend that she went to Uni with that night and that she would love to grab some lunch. And it went from there. We walked around she showed me the sites. We flirted hard with each other and at some point, I was holding her hand while we walked. It was getting into early evening and I knew she needed to meet up with her friends. She told me that I could go with her. But, I told her that I didn't want to be a burden or a stranger that was interloper. She said that it was okay and she stopped at a red box and phone her friend saying that she was bringing someone with her. So, that was that. We met up with her friends and I guess I got her friends seal of approval. I suppose they said I was cute and they loved my accent. We had a good time. I danced a few songs with her and the evening with her friends ended.

 

 

We walked back to the hotel and I walked her to her door. She invited me in and....well...uh.....TADA!!!!

 

 

We kept in touch for a little while after that night when she went home and I went back to the states until, over time, communication got less and less. But, I'll always remember her and how she made my time in London very special. And it all happen because I made myself interesting and funny. That's all it took. (Mind you, all of this happened BEFORE I ever met my wife.)

 

 

So, just enjoy your time with her.

[Michael 93]

Sounds like a swingers party:P

 

LOL!!!

 

More like a wrestling match @somecamel

[Michael 93]

WHAT?!?!? Seriously? What kind of "past" does she have with this guy? Did she used to date him?

 

 

Dude, your life is like one big damn Soap Opera!

 

 

And NO! Don't cut it off! Are you insane! If she's beautiful and enjoys spending time with you and you enjoy spending time with her and you make each other happy, then it doesn't matter what happened in the past. What's is important is the "now and the future".

 

 

For me it all goes back to what my father told me. You treat the right girl with kindness, love and respect then she's going to give that back to you PLUS a hell of a lot more. Now, look at it this away, if new girl got that from the steroid freak, she's still be with him. But, he doesn't have a clue how to treat a girl. Hell, you've been going on for the last couple of pages on how your Ex was on the fence. Apparently, she's starting to notice that he doesn't know how to treat her either.

 

 

So, use this to your advantage. Show model girl on how a guy should treat a girl. But, don't put her on a pedestal. Treat her right, do little things for her and give her complements. Make her feel important to you. Let her think that your Ex is extremely stupid for letting you go! And here's a secret. Here's the key to keeping a girl interested and wanting to spend time with you. Make her laugh. Make her smile and make her laugh. She'll feel comfortable to be around you. She'll have already discovered that you're interesting and, perhaps, charming in your own way. Believe me, it works.

 

 

I have been to England before. Loved it. I spent time in Dover, Brighton and London. I loved London for a very special reason. And that reason had a name. If I remember correctly, her name was Emily. I was in a little restaurant at the hotel I was staying at. I have having dinner and looking at a map. I saw this very cute girl having a bite to eat herself and she was going over some paperwork. So, I bit the bullet and I went over to talk to her.

 

 

I said, "Excuse me, but I'm trying to read this map and even though it's written for a 5 year old, I still can't figure out where Piccadilly Circus is. Could you show me?" And guess what! She smiled and giggled at this. She took the map and showed me and we just talked! I told her I was just on Holiday and checking out London and she was there for a job interview that she had the next morning. She was from Norwich I think and she just graduated with a degree in Marketing. After talking for a while, it was still early in the evening and I asked her if she wanted to go get a drink and she said, "sure! But, just one because she had that interview in the morning." We went to one place and had a drink and talked a little. And true to my word, I didn't push her to stay out any longer. We walked back to the hotel and said goodnight to each other. I wished her luck on her interview, and that was it....that night.

 

 

The next morning I was out and walking around. Did some shopping and went back to the hotel to drop off my bags and luck would have it, Emily walked into the lobby! I asked her how her interview went and she said it went pretty well. She asked me how Piccadilly Circus was. I said it was extremely disappointed. Piccadilly Circus isn't actually a Circus! No clowns or elephants..." She laughed at that. So, I asked her if she was interested in grabbing some lunch or is she checking out and going home. She said that she was staying on another night because she was meeting up with some friend that she went to Uni with that night and that she would love to grab some lunch. And it went from there. We walked around she showed me the sites. We flirted hard with each other and at some point, I was holding her hand while we walked. It was getting into early evening and I knew she needed to meet up with her friends. She told me that I could go with her. But, I told her that I didn't want to be a burden or a stranger that was interloper. She said that it was okay and she stopped at a red box and phone her friend saying that she was bringing someone with her. So, that was that. We met up with her friends and I guess I got her friends seal of approval. I suppose they said I was cute and they loved my accent. We had a good time. I danced a few songs with her and the evening with her friends ended.

 

 

We walked back to the hotel and I walked her to her door. She invited me in and....well...uh.....TADA!!!!

 

 

We kept in touch for a little while after that night when she went home and I went back to the states until, over time, communication got less and less. But, I'll always remember her and how she made my time in London very special. And it all happen because I made myself interesting and funny. That's all it took. (Mind you, all of this happened BEFORE I ever met my wife.)

 

 

So, just enjoy your time with her.

 

 

@Chi townD

 

Honestly mate, You are unbelievable. My colleagues must think I'm absolutely round the bend sitting here laughing at my laptop.. You say my life seems like a soap opera? God Damn, I've only seen that kind of story pop up in FILMS LOL!! That is brilliant Chi Seriously. That is inspiring, and for anyone reading through my thread I'm sure they will say the same.

 

 

Yeah he met her in the.... (you guessed it) club that he works in.

 

I believe they were talking for a while and met up around 3 or 4 times, him taking her home from club etc, picking her up... This only came up in conversation recently. When she turned him down for being a sleeze ball (maybe too nasty to say on here without getting banned ) He banned her from the club and made a point of saying she would not get in again...

 

The stories she has told me about him are ridiculous, brags about women paying him to take him home is a particular highlight!!! WTF man!!?

 

This all kind of ties in with my ex'es breadcrumbs of... "oh hes nothing compared to you, horrible person on the inside, tried to break it off with him, I still have feelings for you etc"

 

However on my birthday when she found out about this new girl I'm seeing (although I haven't told her name, she will think I'm just doing it to spite her) she made a point of saying how her boyfriend has changed for her and she can confide in him, and that now hes finished studying he is making more effort to see her and things have changed now they are getting more serious.

 

Funny, as the week before she was singing a totally different tune!!!

 

I dont want to ruin things with this new girl, she appreciates me and actually is making effort with me. After reading your post I have bought her a little gift as I know she is having a hard time at work at the moment, ill let her know to thank you when it arrives LOL

 

I need to walk before I run..I know I am not totally 100% over my ex yet. I know this woman has a good heart and I enjoy spending time with her so I do not want to hurt her but I'm happy to see where this is progressing.

 

Bravo on Emily story though bro. Unbelievable..I have said I need to make more of an effort going to LDN haha

 

This train ride is getting crazier by the month man seriously ill be sure to keep you posted. In NC at the moment, her office buddies are taking me out for a belated birthday meal on Thursday, I'm hoping i don't see her when I get to the office.

 

Have a good day man, Haven't a clue what time it is where you are at!?

[Michael 93]

If you like her, who cares? Stop worrying about how your ex perceives you. Your ex is not part of your life anymore, so stop catering to her. My only reservation about this is the fact that you probably aren't ready to be dating anyone, not the fact that this girl had a fling with your ex's new guy.

 

You need to be concentrating on how you feel about it, not on how your ex or her new guy might feel.

 

@Simon Phoenix

 

I know I know. But god damn how bad does it look?

 

The thing is it comes across as though I'm trying to get one over and that's really not the case.

 

What a mess eh lol

[Michael 93]

@barky2

 

Can I get your advice on this thread please man?

[Chi townD]

Don't worry about what your Ex might think. Because if you're in true NC, you'll never know what she's thinking! Plus, she's a non-issue anyway. She doesn't get to dictate who you can see and who you can't.

 

 

If you're having fun with this new girl, well, then that's what it's all about. Someone that makes you happy. And I agree, take it slow. I assume model girl knows about your Ex and what happened; and yet, she's still hanging around because she see's something in you that she likes and it's worth the chance even with the baggage you're carrying. Your Ex threw you under a bus. So, which one should have more of a value to you?

 

 

Maybe you can try a mini trip with her? My travels consist of mini and major trips. One that's going to be a little more involved and expensive than the other. My last mini/ major was Spain for the major and Santa Monica, California for the mini. So, save some money to take a weekend in London. Book a hotel for two nights and save some kicking around money. Ask her if she would be interested in coming with you. If she's unsure or says no, then respect her wishes. Don't act all butt hurt about it. But, if you think that she might be interested the save for two. In fact, save for two before you ask her if she wants to go. If she says that she can't afford it, just say to her, "I'm asking you if you would like to come with me, therefore you do have to worry about money. I got it covered." Oh wow! A man with confidence and is taking care of business and is in control of a situation!!!

 

 

But, if she says no, things are moving too fast or whatever then you can say the following and believe me it works. I've used it. Just say, "That's okay. I didn't want to seem like I was pressuring you. Look, if you don't want to go, I totally understand. I don't want to say anything or do anything that is ever going to make you feel uncomfortable to be around me. That's not what I'm about. I'm on your time. And if and when you feel comfortable enough, just let me know. No pressure." This girl is going to think, "Is this guy for real?" You've completely taken the pressure off her shoulders and that it's okay to voice her opinions or feelings without judgment from you. She'll start to see that she can actually talk to you and YOU'LL LISTEN!!!

 

 

If she agrees to go with you, then have it planned out. Have some events planned. Take her to a show or a play on the west end. Go on the London Eye, see the Ripley's Museum, take a cheesy tour of the Tower of London. But, do stuff she wants to do as well. If she wants to go into a cute little trinket shop, then let her! Go with her! Make it fun for her and yourself!

 

 

Trip shouldn't be too expensive. Two train tickets to London.

 

 

2 night stay in the heart of London should be about 100-150 pound a night. Look on line, there's usually hotels that have promotional deals going on, take advantage of those.

 

 

Then save about 300-500 pounds for kicking around money. You have to figure meals are going to run about 10 quid a plate. So, figure for two. And anything you have left over from that weekend, save it for your Paris trip!

 

 

Simple! Planned out!

[Simon Phoenix]

@Simon Phoenix

 

I know I know. But god damn how bad does it look?

 

The thing is it comes across as though I'm trying to get one over and that's really not the case.

 

What a mess eh lol

 

Who gives a s--t? It doesn't matter. Honestly, you have a hard enough time doing the basic parts of the breakup (a.k.a. not communicating with your ex). That looks a lot worse than you dating a girl who had a fling with your ex's new guy. Stop trying to talk yourself out of taking the steps to recover. C'mon dude.

 

It's only a mess if you make it a mess. And unfortunately, you are going out of your way to try to make this a dramatic mess. Just hang out with the girl and stop worrying about stupid s--t that you can't control and might not be relevant anyway.

[Michael 93]

Don't worry about what your Ex might think. Because if you're in true NC, you'll never know what she's thinking! Plus, she's a non-issue anyway. She doesn't get to dictate who you can see and who you can't.

 

 

If you're having fun with this new girl, well, then that's what it's all about. Someone that makes you happy. And I agree, take it slow. I assume model girl knows about your Ex and what happened; and yet, she's still hanging around because she see's something in you that she likes and it's worth the chance even with the baggage you're carrying. Your Ex threw you under a bus. So, which one should have more of a value to you?

 

 

Maybe you can try a mini trip with her? My travels consist of mini and major trips. One that's going to be a little more involved and expensive than the other. My last mini/ major was Spain for the major and Santa Monica, California for the mini. So, save some money to take a weekend in London. Book a hotel for two nights and save some kicking around money. Ask her if she would be interested in coming with you. If she's unsure or says no, then respect her wishes. Don't act all butt hurt about it. But, if you think that she might be interested the save for two. In fact, save for two before you ask her if she wants to go. If she says that she can't afford it, just say to her, "I'm asking you if you would like to come with me, therefore you do have to worry about money. I got it covered." Oh wow! A man with confidence and is taking care of business and is in control of a situation!!!

 

 

But, if she says no, things are moving too fast or whatever then you can say the following and believe me it works. I've used it. Just say, "That's okay. I didn't want to seem like I was pressuring you. Look, if you don't want to go, I totally understand. I don't want to say anything or do anything that is ever going to make you feel uncomfortable to be around me. That's not what I'm about. I'm on your time. And if and when you feel comfortable enough, just let me know. No pressure." This girl is going to think, "Is this guy for real?" You've completely taken the pressure off her shoulders and that it's okay to voice her opinions or feelings without judgment from you. She'll start to see that she can actually talk to you and YOU'LL LISTEN!!!

 

 

If she agrees to go with you, then have it planned out. Have some events planned. Take her to a show or a play on the west end. Go on the London Eye, see the Ripley's Museum, take a cheesy tour of the Tower of London. But, do stuff she wants to do as well. If she wants to go into a cute little trinket shop, then let her! Go with her! Make it fun for her and yourself!

 

 

Trip shouldn't be too expensive. Two train tickets to London.

 

 

2 night stay in the heart of London should be about 100-150 pound a night. Look on line, there's usually hotels that have promotional deals going on, take advantage of those.

 

 

Then save about 300-500 pounds for kicking around money. You have to figure meals are going to run about 10 quid a plate. So, figure for two. And anything you have left over from that weekend, save it for your Paris trip!

 

 

Simple! Planned out!

 

 

 

@Chi townD

 

Thank you My Man.

 

Much appreciated.

 

Took her to a football game last night man (season ticket holder) ..loved it. had a great night and hardly thought about my ex at all. Until this morning that is..

 

I do intend on taking her away. Going to give it a couple more weeks first see how it goes. I do like her, and I hope this can blossom into something if not then hey what can we do but its nice to get out there I guess.

 

I want to be that man everybody can love and get along with again.

 

Let's hope I can keep this up. Thank you for your help... everyone.

[Michael 93]

Due to it being my Birthday last week there were a few members of staff from my company who could not make the Birthday drinks i organised due to family commitments. Majority of these staff were based at our other office (where my ex works)

 

They arranged another date for us to go out which was yesterday and asked me if I could make it into the office for the end of the day and we would all go in the same car. This made me a little anxious as It was a possibility for me seeing her.

 

As I was walking into the office she was leaving. I looked completely past her and didn't acknowledge her one bit I was dressed up as well for going out so I felt really good about myself. It was brilliant I saw her face change as I just strolled completely past her

 

I met up with my colleagues and went back outside into the car park to wait for my lift. I saw her face as she was getting into the car and she looked mortified. As she drove off she must of rolled down her window and I was facing the other way, I heard...

 

"OI! There is no need to ignore me as if I don't exist"

 

I said "there is.."

 

She said "why? You can say hello you know, we do know each other!"

 

I said "sorry I cant you just don't understand how difficult it is for me"

 

Then she said "I'm not the one who wanted to cut things off"

"where are you going tonight?"

 

I then replied "the gatehouse" She said "oh okay have a good time, I've got to go because a car is behind me, speak to you soon"

 

All through this conversation I could see her attitude was different. She looked like the one who had been missing me, she looked like the one who wanted to initiate and maintain conversation.

 

Crazy. Hate how I still get the anxiety too. I panic badly when I sense she is around whether that be on the phone or person.

 

Keep goinggggg!

[Michael 93]

Oh and I thought I would add.

 

She contacted me abit later on that night. She seemed quite angry and annoyed at the fact I ignored her.

 

She said

 

"as for you ignoring me, You could at least BE Civil!, I cracked a joke and she started to laugh, she said see you always make me laugh, even now, She then went a bit more serious and said but cmon we were together for a year and a half you could at least show me a bit more respect!!!

THE CHEEEEEK!!:mad:

 

Really annoyed me that she mentioned respect. I got really annoyed and started to back my case just a little bit more slightly raising my voice. She said "Go on you might as well tell me what you feel!! What did I do! I'm listening!"

 

I just ignored it and said you know what don't even worry like I'm not gonna get into it. You are crazy, she just started laughing and then so did I.

 

She said I have to go anyway hes coming round any minute, I said okay no problem tell your lil bro I miss him. I'm sure we will be in touch.

 

And that was that.

 

Madness. I have blocked her number. She contacted me Via somebody else's. Crazy man why would she be doing this now?

[Simon Phoenix]

It doesn't mean crap dude. She just wants to get you where she feels most comfortable having you -- waiting around like a needy puppy. Dude, why the hell did you answer that comment? I mean, at what point are you going to take No Contact the least bit seriously? I mean, how many times are you going to make the same stupid mistake until you realize how foolish it is to be communicating with her? Unless it's a work thing where you have to talk about business, you shouldn't be saying a word to her. Now, like a complete dolt, you are trying to convince yourself that she has feelings for you. Stop being a dumbass and actually go No Contact.

 

I realize that was harsh, but dude, don't you get sick and tired of this? You can't control how she acts, but you can control how you act. And by continually responding to it, you're just making this unnecessarily more difficult. You responded to a stupid comment for no reason and, once you discovered it was her on the phone, you not only didn't cut off the conversation, but you were telling jokes and kissing her ass? Ugh dude, just ugh.

Edited May 16, 2014 by Simon Phoenix

[Chi townD]

Dude, LET IT GO! You shouldn't even have talked to her. But, since there was no way around it, it should have been one to two word responses! She would have got the hint!

 

 

The moment She said "why? You can say hello you know, we do know each other!"

 

 

I would have responded, "That's the thing. I have no idea who you are anymore." and walked away, got into the car, whatever........

 

 

Dude, you are not her friend. You don't owe her anything, not even friendship after the way she treated you and still does. Loved that little dig she gave you at the end where she said he'll be here any minute so she had to go. Like that was really necessary to say?!?!? Screw her! I only wished model girl was with you at the time.

[Michael 93]

Dude, LET IT GO! You shouldn't even have talked to her. But, since there was no way around it, it should have been one to two word responses! She would have got the hint!

 

 

The moment She said "why? You can say hello you know, we do know each other!"

 

 

I would have responded, "That's the thing. I have no idea who you are anymore." and walked away, got into the car, whatever........

 

 

Dude, you are not her friend. You don't owe her anything, not even friendship after the way she treated you and still does. Loved that little dig she gave you at the end where she said he'll be here any minute so she had to go. Like that was really necessary to say?!?!? Screw her! I only wished model girl was with you at the time.

 

 

 

@Chi townD

 

Man you ever had those moments where you look back and think you should of said something else. That is definitely one of those moments...Damn LOL.

 

That would of been a perfect thing to say!

[Michael 93]

Hi all,

 

Hope you are all doing a little bit better than me this week.

 

Been in FULL NC for just over a week now after the contact on my 21st etc.

 

All of you who follow my threads will know I have been doing OK recently and starting to make improvements.

But this week.!!! I just don't know what has gotten into me..

 

Feel real low, and unmotivated when getting up, a lot of stress at work at the moment I'm guessing is contributing, but I feel like I'm still longing for my ex a little. I have been seeing a new girl recently however I have been quite distant with her due to the mood that I am in this week, I don't really want to drag her into my negativity so haven't really arranged much with her which I know isn't fair.

 

My previous relationship is still going through my mind.. and I'm finding it difficult to block out the memories we shared together. I failed two exams yesterday for my NVQ L3. I know this is because in the exam my mind kept drifting. To be honest this has been the case since the break up, my mind just tends to drift.

 

Sometimes this can be around the good times we shared. sometimes it can be about the breakup. sometimes it can be about her being with her new guy.

 

I guess there are constant reminders been as though we work for the same company. I am tired of torturing myself now. I'm tired of annoying you great people as well as my family.

 

I want this to be over. I just want to be happy again.

 

I sometimes sit there and think, what if i reach out to her? Will she ever reach out to me?

 

Time is getting further and further on and that hurts. It still seems like yesterday to me..

 

I thought I had done enough to keep her it hurts me so much to know that is not the case and now she is enjoying a new fruitful relationship as if I never existed.

 

Really thought I was past this. Sorry for the VENT.

 

Thank you. Michael

[martaldn]

I know exactly how you feel because I have been feeling the same these past days...

I have been NC for a while and i broke it cause I was feeling low. then back to NC and broke it again.

its all ups and downs, sometime you feel better sometime you dont but if you can please do not break the NC because it will only make you go back to square one.

it is only 1 week though . the first time I broke my NC was after a month..

stay strong.. it will pass. eventually

[Tally123]

Michael, I am sorry you are having a bad week. Must be something in the air, I too am having a bad couple of days.

 

I am not sure what it is like for you, but I have a good day and I think I wonder why I was so down yesterday, how strange. Then the day I am down I think to myself, how could I have had a good day yesterday, I cant imagine feeling ok/good again. Basically emotions are everywhere at the moment.

 

Don't beat yourself up about having a bad week, or when you have a bad day, or even a bad five minutes.

 

I have days where I see him so vividly in my imagination, other days, not so much.

 

We just have to ride through this and hope that one day it will get easier and we can be happy again. Life goes in cycles, our "happy" time is not right now, but it will come round again.

 

Take care

[Michael 93]

@martaldn @Tally123

 

Hi Both,

 

Thank you for your prompt replies.

 

I am glad others share the same feelings as me.

Its incredibly hard right now. I guess I still never expected this to happen. I have really good days. When I am focused and taking charge of work projects etc, with friends.

 

This week just hasn't be good. I feel as though I want to be locked in a room with my laptop and work and stay here for months. Drop completely off the map.

 

It hurts how she has cut it and drew the line. Not even a peep out of her. Some days I think god how I miss her so much. Then others I get anger at how she has treated me since the split and how easy this transition into her new relationship has been.

 

I go over the things she has told me since the split "still love you, miss you, got feelings for you, hes nothing, his outside isn't great at all, our relationship was different we had something special etc"

 

If that's the case why the hell hasn't she given a toss since?? Am I really worth so little to her? Shes more interested on spending her time with this new guy. I think I just need to vent to be honest.

 

Shes with him now, enjoying and having the time of her life while I'm here curled up. I've enjoyed myself since but I have never totally forgot about her.

 

I'm worried I'm going to be like this for a while and I'm starting to panic slightly.

 

We were perfect at one point. Felt like the king of the world. The fact I have not been able to maintain NC previously is whats brought me back to this point. Only have myself to blame really..

I thought she was different. I really did. She had me fooled.

[Hello201]

mate

 

im three days in to NC i wish i was a week in sorry poor joke

 

keep going it will get better ,

 

be strong

[martaldn]

 

 

Its incredibly hard right now. I guess I still never expected this to happen. I have really good days. When I am focused and taking charge of work projects etc, with friends.

 

This week just hasn't be good. I feel as though I want to be locked in a room with my laptop and work and stay here for months. Drop completely off the map.

 

 

we are human and it is right to feel that way.

I had some great time myself just after the end... going out had couple of rebounds and even a date!

but i dont know what clicked in my brain at some point i just missed him like crazy and i had to talk to him.. but by then i was so full of anger I just sent emails full of nasty things.

not good.

if you fall you pick up the pieces and you start again.. 1 2 3 100 times.. we all been there.. be strong

[David87]

Sorry you feel this way bud. There's nothing you can do to change the past. What's done is done. Try not to break NC because you'll feel much worse.

[km19]

Hey Buddy. Stay strong.

 

On this journey we all are bound to have good and bad days, it's how we react to them is what defines us. I do feel your pain. I'm a month into NC and last weekend was pure hell for me. My ex and I have always spent the Canadian Victoria Day long weekend together and it was something we talked about right up to the day we broke up. But I look at as motivation. Sure I thought of her all weekend and remembered specific moments of past years, but the main thing is I got through it without even being tempted to break NC or reach out to her. Now my confidence is sky high because I know I can make it through a weekend like this (which I was honestly dreading).

 

This rough patch you have right now will pass and you will make it through without breaking NC. Just think of strong you will feel after this passes. Personally, there is no better motivation.

 

Stay strong buddy. You're doing great.

[Michael 93]

@martaldn @Hello201 @David87

 

Thank you all for your responses.

 

I am not going to break NC. I simply cannot. I cannot embarrass myself anymore and lose the bit of control/respect that I have built over the last week.

 

I'm not really sure how to explain this spat to be honest. my feelings are really confused right now. I'm not sure if I'm angry or upset or just I don't know...

 

I feel so weak for not being able to beat this..She has seriously hurt me, and how little she cares and the more days go by...its horrible.

 

Man O Man feel like the voice of gloom and doom today. Jeez. WHY!???

 

The thing that hurts the most is knowing im just a distant memory to her and she dosent miss what we had at all.. If she did she would contact right?

[Michael 93]

Hey Buddy. Stay strong.

 

On this journey we all are bound to have good and bad days, it's how we react to them is what defines us. I do feel your pain. I'm a month into NC and last weekend was pure hell for me. My ex and I have always spent the Canadian Victoria Day long weekend together and it was something we talked about right up to the day we broke up. But I look at as motivation. Sure I thought of her all weekend and remembered specific moments of past years, but the main thing is I got through it without even being tempted to break NC or reach out to her. Now my confidence is sky high because I know I can make it through a weekend like this (which I was honestly dreading).

 

This rough patch you have right now will pass and you will make it through without breaking NC. Just think of strong you will feel after this passes. Personally, there is no better motivation.

 

Stay strong buddy. You're doing great.

 

 

 

@km19

 

Really appreciate this seriously. Thank you.

 

That is much like me man. I am constantly being reminded of times we shared together. special weekends, things that are happening that we used to go to and when they pass i constantly think of her. So in that respect I am much similar to you.

 

Thank you for the support seriously. Needed that.

 

How are you feeling now? Any better? I haven't broken it yet and I don't intend to so I am trying my best.

 

Hope things improve...

[km19]

@km19

 

Really appreciate this seriously. Thank you.

 

That is much like me man. I am constantly being reminded of times we shared together. special weekends, things that are happening that we used to go to and when they pass i constantly think of her. So in that respect I am much similar to you.

 

Thank you for the support seriously. Needed that.

 

How are you feeling now? Any better? I haven't broken it yet and I don't intend to so I am trying my best.

 

Hope things improve...

 

It's still so raw for both of us we are bound to have flashbacks and reference the good times. But truth be told, those memories will never go away. Down the road when you're over your ex and with a new girl certain situations will trigger memories. Right now our actions influence our recovery process as a whole. If we're able to not be bothered enough by memories to break NC, the sooner we will reach indifference. Those memories won't be forgotten, we will just be strong enough to not be affected by them.

 

You're on the right track, dude. I promise you that your confidence will increase once you make it through this low period.

 

I'm doing quite well actually. I've said it all along but is the companionship, or lack there of, that makes this so hard. My ex and I were together for almost 7 years. Being only 22, it's hard to realize that the person you shared so many important growing experiences with doesn't exist anymore. But over the past month I've been able to reflect, focus on me and ultimately realize that we will never work again. I've accepted that and it helps me move on. Sure I still fear that I'll run into her somewhere, but I know deep down that moving on is where I need to go, and I'm happy with my progress so far. I'm confident enough in myself to say that if she texted me saying she made the biggest mistake of her life that I wouldn't go back and tell her I have no interest in reconciling.