tired girl Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 but they are not caused by anyone else This is verbatim what my H was yelling at me while I was discovering the depth of his EA by way of the phone bill. He kept telling me that our problems were about us and not because of anyone else. He also didn't want counseling. He didn't need it. He kept telling me he was good, he could handle it on his own. Changed his tune after three days of radio silence from me and coming home to find out I was leaving him and our M was over. I didn't do that to get a response from him. I was done. Be careful. Watch her actions. I don't think you are out of the woods yet. Link to post Share on other sites
Toodamnpragmatic Posted March 28, 2014 Share Posted March 28, 2014 You'll need it. Doesn't sound at all like she really wants to change. Just words and probably a few good weeks and then her old behaviour will slowly creep back. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted March 28, 2014 Share Posted March 28, 2014 When things need to change - allowing things to remain the same isn't going to fix the root of the problem. Is she connecting with you now and making you and the family her priority? Or is she participating just enough to keep you quiet about changing things? Link to post Share on other sites
Man Mountain Makino Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 (edited) Pal, Good luck. But I think this story is really just beginning. Edited April 3, 2014 by Man Mountain Makino Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 A few weeks have past since her project ended - has she been participating more with you and your kids since her busy time ended? Link to post Share on other sites
mikefromtheblock Posted April 9, 2014 Share Posted April 9, 2014 This seems very hopeful to be fixed! Why? Because you both want to fix it!! With couples counseling and work you two should be fine. I have never been married, but my parents have been married for 48 years and they both told me you have to be ready to fall in and out of love over and over with your marriage partner!! Take this time to think back of all the things you use to do that made her choose you and fall for you.. Make a list of those things. Then when you guys are mending bring them out.. Send your kids away for a few days and act like you two are dating again... You two lost the magic but the love is still there you can bring her back.. She flirted with this guy because he was fresh, new, exciing, and carefree... You can be those things too, but you just placed them to the back burner because you have a family to take care of and you are a dad, husband, and provider... Reach back and bring out that fun carefree man, and watch how she comes to you!! Truly great advice. Being fresh and carefree tend to work. We all get bored routine. Same things over and over again. And letting in some new experiences in life can spice up relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted April 13, 2014 Share Posted April 13, 2014 How's the reading together going? Is she implementing any ideas that get you two reconnected? Link to post Share on other sites
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