Pearl27 Posted February 23, 2014 Share Posted February 23, 2014 I just need to vent because I am feeling so embarrassed now. I was getting the impression from a friend that he probably wanted to go out with me. A few times we hung out with mutual friends, I got a vibe that he might've had an interest in me. No biggie, maybe it was just mild and he wouldn't pursue it. Besides, I didn't see us dating at all. But when I left a party he had a few weeks ago and gave him a hug good-bye, I felt his hug was too long and he rubbed my back a little bit much for a friend. At least, that's my life experience. A few days later, I was asking some friends for help looking for a job, and he was one of them. I thought he would help a little, but he instead gave my resume to everyone and their grandmother. I thought that was much, and I wondered if he really was interested in me. I asked a few people for their take on his helpfulness, and they thought he probably did have an interest in me if he was helping me so much. He then texted and emailed me a few times, just to chat or ask me to hang out. I didn't hang out or text much. I started to think he was probably looking to ask me out. THe other day, he asked me to hang out and that was when I emailed him that I got the impression that he wanted to date me, and I honestly wasn't interested in him like that. He replied saying he never was interested like that, and apologized for giving me that vibe. I responded saying I must've misinterpreted his texts and emails, but worries. I guess we're cool. But I am so mortified. I can't believe I was so dumb to misinterpret something like that. I think this is tied to me not expecting people in general to be nice or like me in anyway, thanks to self-esteem issues. But I am still embarrassed, and now I'm scared over the thought of even speaking to any friends associated with the guy. Was I foolish to misinterpret his actions? I don't think I was, but yet I probably was. I probably shouldn't have sent that email, but I felt that I couldn't drag out turning down his requests like that. I am so humiliated and now I must seem socially naive and dumb. Oh boy... Link to post Share on other sites
Secret Advisor Posted February 23, 2014 Share Posted February 23, 2014 Of course he wanted to ask you out, but when you tell a guy that you are not interested in him like that, what do you expect him to say? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pearl27 Posted February 23, 2014 Author Share Posted February 23, 2014 Of course he wanted to ask you out, but when you tell a guy that you are not interested in him like that, what do you expect him to say? Well, a few times I've had similar situations and the guy would either be like, "Oh OK" or try to talk me into dating him. So this guy's reaction was different. Also I once thought some guys were interested in me, but they really weren't and I thought I had made the same foolish mistake Link to post Share on other sites
Andy_K Posted February 23, 2014 Share Posted February 23, 2014 I doubt you misinterpreted his actions. Most likely you have misinterpreted his response. He'd rather try to make you feel stupid to save his pride. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pearl27 Posted February 23, 2014 Author Share Posted February 23, 2014 I doubt you misinterpreted his actions. Most likely you have misinterpreted his response. He'd rather try to make you feel stupid to save his pride. OK then. It was just past embarrassing moments made me feel like I had made a poor judgment or a mistake again. Come to think of it, that's pretty crappy to make someone feel stupid to save pride rather than simply back off, like other guys have done. But anyway, thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted February 23, 2014 Share Posted February 23, 2014 Why would you rather believe he was being mean or stupid than accept that you misinterpreted his interest in you? So what if you thought he wad interested in you romantically and he wasn't? Its no big deal and happens to lots of people. Don't make a big deal about and just move forward. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pearl27 Posted February 23, 2014 Author Share Posted February 23, 2014 I just worry too much about what others think of me, and I feel awful when I embarrass myself. It brings back memories of my horrible social anxiety days. Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted February 24, 2014 Share Posted February 24, 2014 I used to completely validate myself by what others thought of me. I would get twinge of embarrassment years after I flubbed something. Now I dont care. Even if some immature idiot laughs AT me I might say something like "I'm glad I brought you some laughter today" I found that if I laugh at something I did others will laugh WITH me and also respect me for it because EVERYONE embarrasses themself - repeatedly throughout their life. Link to post Share on other sites
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