Hello63 Posted February 23, 2014 Share Posted February 23, 2014 I’m legally married to this man and we have a daughter, but lived apart for the last 16 years. This is person have at least 3 or more women at all time. He manipulates all of them into believing they are the only one that matters. Our history is long and very eventful. We spent three years going through a nasty divorce only to have him manipulate me into giving it another chance. Only to find out nothing have ever change. I must move out of my house, but I’m so depressed I haven’t even packed. I’m hurting so much from a break up that I have given up on everything. I’m hurting because I blame myself for allowing this person to take advantage of me for so long. I’m an intelligent well-educated person, but when it comes to this guy I act foolishly. The last 28 years have been an ongoing emotional roller coaster. Now that I finally said enough and mean it I find myself in a great depression, feeling stuck, and unable to function. I do not want him back. I just want to stop hurting. I’m so embarrassed of being a fool for so long, I have pushed everybody away. Now I’m alone. Link to post Share on other sites
lvroflife Posted February 23, 2014 Share Posted February 23, 2014 You are not alone. We are all here with and for you... Sorry for your pain, as I'm sure you probably feel you wasted time and let the "one" pass by... You have to stop beating yourself up. The heart wants what the heart wants. This your opportunity to do whatever it is you want to do!! Focus, focus, focus on you!! When you want to cry, cry it is therapeutic. This community is here for you 2 Link to post Share on other sites
changedlife Posted February 23, 2014 Share Posted February 23, 2014 I’m legally married to this man and we have a daughter, but lived apart for the last 16 years. This is person have at least 3 or more women at all time. He manipulates all of them into believing they are the only one that matters. Our history is long and very eventful. We spent three years going through a nasty divorce only to have him manipulate me into giving it another chance. Only to find out nothing have ever change. I must move out of my house, but I’m so depressed I haven’t even packed. I’m hurting so much from a break up that I have given up on everything. I’m hurting because I blame myself for allowing this person to take advantage of me for so long. I’m an intelligent well-educated person, but when it comes to this guy I act foolishly. The last 28 years have been an ongoing emotional roller coaster. Now that I finally said enough and mean it I find myself in a great depression, feeling stuck, and unable to function. I do not want him back. I just want to stop hurting. I’m so embarrassed of being a fool for so long, I have pushed everybody away. Now I’m alone. I know this is tough. It can send you into a type of depression. My story is no where near the magnitude of pain of what I can imagine you are going through. My best advice is to really try and be active. I know that you are scared. I know that you are worried. It's hard to step out and do something when you lose something this close to you. Try to join a social group in your area, go to church on the weekends, exercise. You deserve something better and you know that. Maybe you should get a counselor so you can have somebody to talk to about everything in detail and get some more professional advice on how to heal from this and how to move on. But also, post on here. We will listen and offer any advice to help. You can make it through it. Link to post Share on other sites
Sandy99 Posted February 23, 2014 Share Posted February 23, 2014 It sounds like you are going through a really rough time. First off, I think you should stop blaming yourself for staying with this guy. I am sure you had hope at one time that things would work out and he probably brought you some happiness for a long time. You had a daughter with him too. But it sounds like you're really beginning to see the light about him and this is hard to deal with. But maybe you should see this as a positive sign and that you are ready to make steps towards moving on from the situation. You sound really depressed now, but try to get back that hope you used to have and focus it towards the future. Don't beat yourself up anymore. Be kind to yourself and try to get the strength to move to a new house and a new life. You said it yourself. The guy was very manipulative, but that can only take him so far. His charm has obviously worn off on you. Start a new positive chapter in your life. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hello63 Posted February 23, 2014 Author Share Posted February 23, 2014 Thank you for all the supporting words. Today I’m going to take an hour’s walk. I’m so happy I found this site. Thank you again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hello63 Posted February 23, 2014 Author Share Posted February 23, 2014 It sounds like you are going through a really rough time. First off, I think you should stop blaming yourself for staying with this guy. I am sure you had hope at one time that things would work out and he probably brought you some happiness for a long time. You had a daughter with him too. But it sounds like you're really beginning to see the light about him and this is hard to deal with. But maybe you should see this as a positive sign and that you are ready to make steps towards moving on from the situation. You sound really depressed now, but try to get back that hope you used to have and focus it towards the future. Don't beat yourself up anymore. Be kind to yourself and try to get the strength to move to a new house and a new life. You said it yourself. The guy was very manipulative, but that can only take him so far. His charm has obviously worn off on you. Start a new positive chapter in your life. Good luck! Thank you..... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hello63 Posted February 23, 2014 Author Share Posted February 23, 2014 You are not alone. We are all here with and for you... Sorry for your pain, as I'm sure you probably feel you wasted time and let the "one" pass by... You have to stop beating yourself up. The heart wants what the heart wants. This your opportunity to do whatever it is you want to do!! Focus, focus, focus on you!! When you want to cry, cry it is therapeutic. This community is here for you Thank you..... Link to post Share on other sites
Yasuandio Posted February 23, 2014 Share Posted February 23, 2014 Sweetheart - I venture to say I can relate very well to your situation. My marriage was 28 years when it ended and took four years to get thru the divorce, due to antics of former husband. I have too, since year 2000 suffered from depression and severe anxiety. Now, due to abuse, I continued to endure, my mental illness has progressed to Type 2 bi-Polar desease. I am now alone to cope with it. I have been where you are - and sometimes, even regress back to that state in my fearful moments. You have a lot on your plate, but you have found a good place - and many here have shared your agony. We are going to help you. My first recommendation is medical care for you. You cannot process very much in a self admitted depressed state. So, let's take this one step at a time - and keep it all about you for now. Where is a medical facility you can get evaluated? This is the first question that needs to be addressed. Please answer, and tell us your plan. Yas Link to post Share on other sites
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