Muhib Posted February 23, 2014 Share Posted February 23, 2014 (edited) I am in a relation with a girl I'm 23 and she's 18 we are chatting since November 2011 we met on Facebook she lives in Bulgaria and I lives in Pakistan we are about to marry in June as she was coming to me but before three days ago she admitted that she had 5 to 6 day relation she don't said relation a mistake with a guy who called in his brother number it was a wrong number and they started talking and then she met him in a room first meeting he did not done any thing as she says on the 2nd meeting he wanted to do her and he hold on the wall and wanted to rip her clothes but she ran while I was listening to it I cried loud how she can do this to me the girl who will become my wife how I can trust her I even went to Dubai to seek Job so I can give her a good life she stills say she's a virgin he forced but I ran I don't believe in it a girl who can meet a guy like this can easily do now she's crying begging me I'm sorry and before that in may she started talking to a guy on Skype as she said to me and on June she told me and this incident happened on October and when i had the most depressing phase of my life now she wants a chance again I'm dieing again and again when this thing comes in my mind the girl who's my soul mate is being touched by another man my heart is crying I shared this with my mate but no one takes it serious my feelings and emotions brakes every second when I imagine how it can be happened we talked almost all night on Skype see each other but I never knew in those October nights she was doing this what to do I'm confused emotionally week no one cares for it when I say to get I'm leaving she just cries don't leave me give me another chance but she already this I'm so emotionally attach with her my feeling is I want to leave in one second on the other second I fight on the second I cries then again the incident comes in my mind that how she went to him how he did it when I feels my heart starts beating fast and I feels some one is putting knife on my heart I'm so depressed please tell me what can I do I gave my ego my soul my love to her but she did this when I ask why I did it she says I just want to forget it was a mistake I forgave her but my mind still don't accepts it I feel so lost. And the sad thing is she was always saying that I swear in my mums life I won't talk again and etc but she always did it please tell me what can I do Edited February 23, 2014 by Muhib Some mistake Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted February 23, 2014 Share Posted February 23, 2014 I am in a relation with a girl I'm 23 and she's 18 we are chatting since November 2011 we met on Facebook she lives in Bulgaria and I lives in Pakistan we are about to marry in June as she was coming to me but before three days ago she admitted that she had 5 to 6 day relation she don't said relation a mistake with a guy who called in his brother number it was a wrong number and they started talking and then she met him in a room first meeting he did not done any thing as she says on the 2nd meeting he wanted to do her and he hold on the wall and wanted to rip her clothes but she ran while I was listening to it I cried loud how she can do this to me the girl who will become my wife how I can trust her I even went to Dubai to seek Job so I can give her a good life she stills say she's a virgin he forced but I ran I don't believe in it a girl who can meet a guy like this can easily do now she's crying begging me I'm sorry and before that in may she started talking to a guy on Skype as she said to me and on June she told me and this incident happened on October and when i had the most depressing phase of my life now she wants a chance again I'm dieing again and again when this thing comes in my mind the girl who's my soul mate is being touched by another man my heart is crying I shared this with my mate but no one takes it serious my feelings and emotions brakes every second when I imagine how it can be happened we talked almost all night on Skype see each other but I never knew in those October nights she was doing this what to do I'm confused emotionally week no one cares for it when I say to get I'm leaving she just cries don't leave me give me another chance but she already this I'm so emotionally attach with get my feeling is I want to leave in one second on the other second I fight on the second I cries then again the incident comes in my mind that how she went to him how he did it when I feels my heart starts beating fast and I feels some one is putting knife on my heart I'm so depressed please tell me what can I do I gave my ego my soul my love to her but she did this when I ask why I did it she says I just want to forget it was a mistake I forgave her but my mind still don't accepts it I feel so lost Muhib, Sorry you are hurting but I will be honest with you. Long Distance Relationships rarely work because of the trust involved to sustain such a relationship is a rare commodity. I get the feeling you have not met this woman in a real life setting, is that correct? I will give you my reply from the perspective that you have not met her in real life. If you have not met her in real life, then I am sorry to say you are living in internet fantasy air, which although the feelings that can be generated in people feel real to them, are just that...feelings. At any rate, I would suggest perhaps that there may be someone in Pakistan that would love to have a relationship with a good guy like you. Just remember that you will never have enough trust in what this woman form Bulgaria tells you from now on, so I hate to say it but I think your relationship will soon see it's last sunrise. Keep your chin up...and date someone whom you can look into to their eyes, touch them, talk to them face to face..... Every....Single....Day. Otherwise they are just a face on a screen and keystrokes coming back at you telling your brain what it wants to hear. Good Luck:) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted February 23, 2014 Share Posted February 23, 2014 And one more piece of advice..... Scrap that "Soul Mate" talk.....that is a Fantasy. If she was your "Soul Mate" she wouldn't be pulling the crap on you that she is....people use that term when they are trying to fool themselves that they can't live without somebody.... YOU don't need another person to "complete you"......whomever came up with that term needs to have their ass kicked. lol:) Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted February 23, 2014 Share Posted February 23, 2014 Muhib, I gewt the impression you have led a very sheltered life and at the first opportunity of any prospect of a long, happy fruitful marriage, you jumped in with both feet and no lifebelt.... Life is not like that. A marriage between two people who have no physical connection and who - probably - have never met, is impossible, and not credible, let alone feasible. Let this go. It may hurt to hear it, but honestly, it's your only option. Cut off all contact with her, and move on with your life. meet a girl closer to home; someone who can think on your level, live on your level, understand you, love you and support you. (As an aside, how on earth did the OP manage to insert the word 'help' in his thread title....? I thought that couldn't be done...?!) Link to post Share on other sites
Author Muhib Posted February 23, 2014 Author Share Posted February 23, 2014 But let me tell you one thing here she wants one last chance and her families knows that she's going to come on June I told my feelings to her but her recents words are,that I will keep your trust again just give me one last chance. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted February 23, 2014 Share Posted February 23, 2014 Different cultures, different countries, different upbringings and religions. Not enough knowlege of one another, never met, never been together.... Please, fellah, quit now. You sound desperate, needy and frankly, it's off-putting. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Muhib Posted February 24, 2014 Author Share Posted February 24, 2014 I know but I really gave my heart I tried so much to quit but still I just can't she wants a chance another more then says u will let it go the 2 years and 3 months relation what to do I just lost my control its so hard to see another girl talk to her and share ur emotions I don't want like this that what I meant it is like this we never met but she always that I will adopt your culture no matter what it takes to me I know I even being cheated but still i don't know how to control Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted February 24, 2014 Share Posted February 24, 2014 I know but I really gave my heart I tried so much to quit but still I just can't she wants a chance another more then says u will let it go the 2 years and 3 months relation what to do I just lost my control its so hard to see another girl talk to her and share ur emotions I don't want like this that what I meant it is like this we never met but she always that I will adopt your culture no matter what it takes to me I know I even being cheated but still i don't know how to control Then give your heart to someone that deserves it. She's shown you too many red flags and you haven't even properly met. Dude, I'm pro relationship and I would give advice to save relationship and marriages if I see a reason; if I see that a relationship is salvageable. I don't see it here. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 I know but I really gave my heart I tried so much to quit but still I just can't she wants a chance another more then says u will let it go the 2 years and 3 months relation what to do I just lost my control its so hard to see another girl talk to her and share ur emotions I don't want like this that what I meant it is like this we never met but she always that I will adopt your culture no matter what it takes to me I know I even being cheated but still i don't know how to control Ok, I'm just gonna give it to you straight... You sound desperate You will get walked on again and again, for "desperate" translates into "Sucker" or "Doormat" in any language, and no one respects "desperate"...accept her back at your own peril Seriously, move on from this girl.....You are living in fantasy internet land with her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 OP, think about this realistically: She is just 18 years old. She is from Europe. You have never met her. Do you honestly expect her to drop all and move to a country so vastly different from hers and marry you, when she is barely even an adult yet? Do you have any idea about the amount of paperwork, cost and legal bureaucracy you'd both have to cut through to make this happen? This is to say nothing of the culture shock she is sure to experience in your home country, where the value systems and structure of daily life are very different from her home culture. I understand you are hurting, but you need to give your head a good shake. Understand that what you have with this girl is based in fantasy and ideals. You don't know her from the next girl. Do not contact her again. Find someone close to you who can give you the partnership you'd like, not some barely-legal girl a world away from you. Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 She is not the person who you think she is. What you think of her is an illusion, the ideal picture made by your mind itself. Reality is much darker however, and as you now know hurts. She's only 18 so even if you two ever got together, this wouldn't be the last time she'd cheat on you if she already starts in this early stage of your 'relationship'. Find a real woman. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
mano Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 She coming here to pakistan to meet? N she is just 18? Are you sure about marriage ? Esp in our culture and religion muhib. Its pakistan, is your family aware of it? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Muhib Posted February 26, 2014 Author Share Posted February 26, 2014 Yes that is the thing that I want to share not to meet she says I want a normal life a family and my family and her family is aware of it she said to me that she will become Muslim and when I said I will leave you then she said do u even think I'm leaving every thing of my country I can do every thing I will leave the freedom life only for you to start a new I even told her that there are many issues in my country but she says it won't make me any problem and once she said u think I come from ur money but its not like this and it's not that much easy to find another girl and to give ur heart again ... Link to post Share on other sites
giblesp Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 If someone has been holding her against a wall and trying to rip her clothes you need to notify the local authorities right away. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts