How long have you been single?

[Lonelyyou]

Been single for over a year, last relationship ended when I was 27. I meet all OPs mentioned requirements (though I think the handsome one is subjective for each person).

 

I am too shy though so its hard for me to make first contact unless I am forced to (eg. work requires it). I am not really looking at this point but I wish I was at least flirting with a few girls.

[toonormal]

I've been single for over a year. Gone on a few dates, been rejected a bit, no real bites. After a LTR I have to admit this is a big change for me... is there an average amount of time guys like me go single for?

[Keenly]

November 2012.

 

Just went on a date today actually. Looks like I'm still looking.

[fortyninethousand322]

Are counting adulthood, or just years of life? If it's the former, 8 years. The latter? 26.

 

Last date I went on was May 2013. Before that February 2011.

[Chalkdust89]

My last casual date was three weeks ago, but I may have one this weekend.

 

My last relationship ended five months ago, though we probably should have ended things a lot sooner.

 

I met my ex in college, so this is my first time dating in the "real world", where you can't meet people in your classes or in the dorms. I can't say I like it very much.

[DannyCA]

Since February 2013.

 

I've seen several women since then but haven't found what I'm looking for. To be honest, I'm not really sure I'm looking for anything. I'm 22, I have no business committing to a relationship at this age.

[Teraskas]

Been single for 2 years now, despite the fact that I've dated in that time.

Faced plenty of rejection, seen it all really:

- Women who JUST got out of a relationship and are already dating.

- The 'no spark' argument.

- Women dropping off the face off the earth.

- Been stood up plenty of times on dates.

Yet, I cannot seem to find a woman looking for commitment.

Seems they're only interested in 'fun' and 'friends'.

The door to commitment is more than open on my end, but they are never interested in that, lol.

 

It's ironic really, especially last week it struck me.

A friend of mine got into a relationship without any effort, while another moved in with his new gf of 4 months.

Yet, I try and TRY and nothing materialises.

Makes me feel as if my life is stagnant to that regard while others are so easily progressing in it.

[mysunflower]

Dont know that feeling. Never been single for more than 3 months.

[DannyCA]

Been single for 2 years now, despite the fact that I've dated in that time.

Faced plenty of rejection, seen it all really:

- Women who JUST got out of a relationship and are already dating.

- The 'no spark' argument.

- Women dropping off the face off the earth.

- Been stood up plenty of times on dates.

Yet, I cannot seem to find a woman looking for commitment.

Seems they're only interested in 'fun' and 'friends'.

The door to commitment is more than open on my end, but they are never interested in that, lol.

 

It's ironic really, especially last week it struck me.

A friend of mine got into a relationship without any effort, while another moved in with his new gf of 4 months.

Yet, I try and TRY and nothing materialises.

Makes me feel as if my life is stagnant to that regard while others are so easily progressing in it.

 

Why are you so worried about committing to a relationship? Because your friends are already moved in with GF's, etc? Cohabitation before marriage is just a bad idea. My generation for some reason believes that it's the next natural step to marriage. When did that become the rule? Why can't you focus on yourself and embrace these flings with women instead of trying to find "the one" or whatever with every date you go on.

[endlessabyss]

Why are you so worried about committing to a relationship? Because your friends are already moved in with GF's, etc? Cohabitation before marriage is just a bad idea. My generation for some reason believes that it's the next natural step to marriage. When did that become the rule? Why can't you focus on yourself and embrace these flings with women instead of trying to find "the one" or whatever with every date you go on.

 

 

I'd take it a step further, why worry about dating at all? If the right person comes along, the right person comes along.

 

From reading a lot of the posters in this part of the forum, it seems this dating obsession brings a lot of sadness into their lives.

 

I guess some people just like to feel bad.

[Teraskas]

Why are you so worried about committing to a relationship? Because your friends are already moved in with GF's, etc? Cohabitation before marriage is just a bad idea. My generation for some reason believes that it's the next natural step to marriage. When did that become the rule? Why can't you focus on yourself and embrace these flings with women instead of trying to find "the one" or whatever with every date you go on.

 

I'm not worried about committing to a relationship, I'm just tired of it.

It's just that in that particular situation, I let out a deep sigh.

I've invested nearly a year and a half into dating.

Constantly getting rejected by women who don't know what they want, seem to enjoy wasting others' time, and more.

Truth told, I've given up on finding someone ever since December 2013.

Sure, I've gone on several dates, but the result was all the same.

With regards to my friend's new relationship, I even asked them how they met.

The friend said he didn't put in any effort, and one thing simply lead to another.

 

The fact that I'm going to be singles shamed at my cousin's wedding in April isn't exactly going to make things more bearable either, lol.

 

I mean I've been single for 2 years now (Which is nothing compared to others on this forum, I'm aware of that.), but truth told, is it really THAT hard for something like that to happen to me for once ?

It appears to me as if everyone else has all the luck in the world with regards to that.

 

Meh, I've never made it to the 'cohabitation phase' yet.

Call me old fashioned, but living together with someone (with or without the desire to get married) allows you to get to the heart of their personality.

I've always found that when living together, people conduct themselves differently in life outside the house, and vice versa.

 

The last few months I have been focusing on myself a lot more, and tending to care less.

Still, that doesn't mean it's not frustrating to be confronted with it on a near daily basis.

As for these 'flings' with women, I have no desire in that.

I'm not like most guys and besides, there's already too many alpha male douches out there doing just that.

With the added result of making women generalise men way more than necessary.

It's ironic, because I'm not necessarily looking for "The One", nor are my standards way out of line as some women's laundry lists posted on this forum.

I was always raised by serious people who never put up with such things in the first place.

I know who I am, and from all the negative experiences and adversity I've experienced, I know I will not change.

Perhaps one day, there'll be a woman who has outgrown the 'Bad boy / Prison type / Thug' phase, but I remain sceptical at the moment.

 

As for the 'Why worry about dating at all'.

Why should I be denied something which 4 out of 5 of my closest friends already have ?

Sure, if she comes along...so be it, but that doesn't mean that I currently have the easiest situation of going out and meeting women who are interesting in something serious compared to the 'just friends' / 'FWB' or something along those lines.

Edited March 17, 2014 by Teraskas

[DannyCA]

I'm not worried about committing to a relationship, I'm just tired of it.

It's just that in that particular situation, I let out a deep sigh.

I've invested nearly a year and a half into dating.

Constantly getting rejected by women who don't know what they want, seem to enjoy wasting others' time, and more.

Truth told, I've given up on finding someone ever since December 2013.

Sure, I've gone on several dates, but the result was all the same.

With regards to my friend's new relationship, I even asked them how they met.

The friend said he didn't put in any effort, and one thing simply lead to another.

 

The fact that I'm going to be singles shamed at my cousin's wedding in April isn't exactly going to make things more bearable either, lol.

 

I mean I've been single for 2 years now (Which is nothing compared to others on this forum, I'm aware of that.), but truth told, is it really THAT hard for something like that to happen to me for once ?

It appears to me as if everyone else has all the luck in the world with regards to that.

 

Meh, I've never made it to the 'cohabitation phase' yet.

Call me old fashioned, but living together with someone (with or without the desire to get married) allows you to get to the heart of their personality.

I've always found that when living together, people conduct themselves differently in life outside the house, and vice versa.

 

The last few months I have been focusing on myself a lot more, and tending to care less.

Still, that doesn't mean it's not frustrating to be confronted with it on a near daily basis.

As for these 'flings' with women, I have no desire in that.

I'm not like most guys and besides, there's already too many alpha male douches out there doing just that.

With the added result of making women generalise men way more than necessary.

It's ironic, because I'm not necessarily looking for "The One", nor are my standards way out of line as some women's laundry lists posted on this forum.

I was always raised by serious people who never put up with such things in the first place.

I know who I am, and from all the negative experiences and adversity I've experienced, I know I will not change.

Perhaps one day, there'll be a woman who has outgrown the 'Bad boy / Prison type / Thug' phase, but I remain sceptical at the moment.

 

As for the 'Why worry about dating at all'.

Why should I be denied something which 4 out of 5 of my closest friends already have ?

Sure, if she comes along...so be it, but that doesn't mean that I currently have the easiest situation of going out and meeting women who are interesting in something serious compared to the 'just friends' / 'FWB' or something along those lines.

 

 

You want something to happen right now at this moment when it should just happen randomly.

 

And because 4 out of 5 of your friends are in relationships you should too?

[David87]

Been single for over 3 months, last relationship ended on 1'st de december 2013.

 

I hate being single, it's not made for me. Ive dated alot in this time but couldn't find a girl that I could start something serious with. Still looking.

[Teraskas]

You want something to happen right now at this moment when it should just happen randomly.

 

And because 4 out of 5 of your friends are in relationships you should too?

 

 

Sure, I want something to happen someday.

I think it's only normal that after having been through plenty of negative experiences, that one forgets what success feels like.

 

The thing is, if it's supposed to happen randomly...how could it possibly happen in my current situation ?

I'm not desperate or anything, but change would be a welcome factor.

I mean I just finished college, so I'm definitely not going to find her there.

As for my 'job', I have a 6 month contract with a security company.

No women present there either, not to mention that job isn't permanent atm but that's a whole different topic.

The gym perhaps ?

Doubtful, as all women I've seen there all have a guy working out with them.

 

It's not because 4 out of 5 have a gf that I want one as well.

Simply due to the fact that they are now 'attached' so to say, they don't bother to meet up anymore.

It's ironic though...when they didn't have someone they told me I was a really exceptional guy with qualities which all guys should strive for.

They couldn't believe I was still single.

Yet, when they found someone those sayings all quickly converted to the traditional, boring my ears off and vomit inducing 'You'll find someone when you stop looking / aren't looking for it / when you're ready.'

Who are THEY to judge me on being 'ready' ?

In fact I'm more than ready for something serious atm, lol.

I still occasionally go out with the 5th guy when possible for a beer or so, but we both agreed that to them we're like the 3rd and 5th wheel on their wagon.

 

I feel that in those 2 years I've progressed plenty as a person.

Truth told, after a while I stopped thinking about women altogether and focused on getting my degree.

Seeing as I'm out of college now, I'd like to switch that focus to something other than my job / hobbies / personal pass time.

Given how they treat their significant others, I know for a fact that I'd be equally good if not better than them in a relationship.

Do not mistake this as a desire to prove myself though.

Personally, I hate being single, always have and always will.

I'm simply not cut out for it, that has never changed.

People say you need to be 'happy' to meet a girl, which I completely disagree with.

I wasn't in a 'happy' state of mind when I first met my last ex, yet that progressed to something.

 

All in all, in this time I've rejected about 3 women, but this was for valid reasons.

They couldn't even form a correct English or Dutch sentence in a conversation.

Besides that, rejection has always been the other way around.

Edited March 18, 2014 by Teraskas

[David87]

Sure, I want something to happen someday.

I think it's only normal that after having been through plenty of negative experiences, that one forgets what success feels like.

 

The thing is, if it's supposed to happen randomly...how could it possibly happen in my current situation ?

I'm not desperate or anything, but change would be a welcome factor.

I mean I just finished college, so I'm definitely not going to find her there.

As for my 'job', I have a 6 month contract with a security company.

No women present there either, not to mention that job isn't permanent atm but that's a whole different topic.

The gym perhaps ?

Doubtful, as all women I've seen there all have a guy working out with them.

 

It's not because 4 out of 5 have a gf that I want one as well.

Simply due to the fact that they are now 'attached' so to say, they don't bother to meet up anymore.

It's ironic though...when they didn't have someone they told me I was a really exceptional guy with qualities which all guys should strive for.

They couldn't believe I was still single.

Yet, when they found someone those sayings all quickly converted to the traditional, boring my ears off and vomit inducing 'You'll find someone when you stop looking / aren't looking for it / when you're ready.'

Who are THEY to judge me on being 'ready' ?

In fact I'm more than ready for something serious atm, lol.

I still occasionally go out with the 5th guy when possible for a beer or so, but we both agreed that to them we're like the 3rd and 5th wheel on their wagon.

 

I feel that in those 2 years I've progressed plenty as a person.

Truth told, after a while I stopped thinking about women altogether and focused on getting my degree.

Seeing as I'm out of college now, I'd like to switch that focus to something other than my job / hobbies / personal pass time.

Given how they treat their significant others, I know for a fact that I'd be equally good if not better than them in a relationship.

Do not mistake this as a desire to prove myself though.

Personally, I hate being single, always have and always will.

I'm simply not cut out for it, that has never changed.

People say you need to be 'happy' to meet a girl, which I completely disagree with.

I wasn't in a 'happy' state of mind when I first met my last ex, yet that progressed to something.

 

All in all, in this time I've rejected about 3 women, but this was for valid reasons. They couldn't even form a correct English or Dutch sentence in a conversation. Besides that, rejection has always been the other way around.

 

Teraskas you remind me of my ex because she studied Law School in Antwerp Belgium. When I see a post by you....... I don't know it's weird because you remind me of her. Nice country Belgium, I love Tomorrowland.

[Teraskas]

Teraskas you remind me of my ex because she studied Law School in Antwerp Belgium. When I see a post by you....... I don't know it's weird because you remind me of her. Nice country Belgium, I love Tomorrowland.

 

Hah, what a coincidence.

Yeah speaking of which, a lot of my friends from secondary education (whom I regrettably lost contact with) all went to Law School at KDG in Antwerp or in Leuven. Personally, I know I'm not cut out for it, too confusing for my taste. ^^

 

Oh, but I can assure you, I'm male.

Yeah true, it's a nice country though the weather could be better if you ask me. Greyish and drizzle again when I'm looking out the window atm.

[SpringBaby]

Ok, so I been single 1.5 years. I dated, but nothing serious. I want to be in a serious relationship again, but not meeting anyone special. I'm 28 and don't want to waste my time with men I don't see a future with. I don't ask for much; good job, educated, athletic, eat healthy, sweet, handsome, caring, have car, don't live with parents, and outgoing. I don't ask for anything I don't have. People would say I'm very attractive. I meet men, but I'm just not finding the "one". Am I just too picky?

 

Geez where are these guys?! I'm tired of looking. It's been 1.5 years, why is it taking so long?! How long have you guys been single? Good God, everyone is getting engaged, having kids, and doing couple things. Seeing pictures of engagements, & pregnancy on Facebook/Instagram makes me kind of sad.

 

About 4 months.

 

Here's my story,I don't want to bum you out.

I'm just like you in regards to preferences, I don't want just some guy to say I have someone. I want who I want and I don't think I'm asking for too much.

I'm in the good-looks category (just sayin') and I never took guys seriously until I was 28, then I decided, ok now let me get serious and find husband material. I'll get married by 30 bada boom bada bing - happily ever after.

 

Well, I'm in my early 40s now. I tried everything and could come not up with a serious guy. Oh I met hot ones, rich ones, not so hot ones and not so rich ones too....all gentlemen but none very serious about marriage. When I turned 40 I honestly thought it was all down hill from there . I was dating a guy I was trying desperately to settle for. He wasn't my type but he was older than me so I thought he would be more serious, he wasn't. I finally broke it off with him after 7 months. I thought my ride was coming to an end. Then I met a guy who was the type I had been looking for for those 12 years. He was handsome, sweet, thoughtful, open-minded, loyal, faithful, fun, and had a six-pack unlike any I'd ever seen (just sayin'). He had some issues to work out (not in his character though) but don't we all. He was the "nice, hot guy" I didn't think existed. He told me he didn't think a woman like me existed either. He was the first to say "I love you," he brought me flowers and little gifts. He was 11 years younger than me and I thought I would have a future with him.

 

Unfortunately, things changed when his mom got very ill. Then slowly it happened that he wasn't the person I fell in love with because his life was changing. He was overwhelmed, tired and depressed all the time. I couldn't help him, I tried everything and he didn't even know what to do with himself. We had to let go. The first time he wouldn't let me go and I stayed. Nothing changed, the second time we knew it was ending.

 

I didn't think at the age of 40 I would find a love like that I had never known but because of him I became hopeful again. So it was 4 months ago that we said goodbye. I miss him, especially after having to date again. I spoke to him in Jan. and nothing has changed for him, things have gotten worse. I feel so bad for him.

 

So my story is both good and not so good, I guess.

 

It's hard to find a nice guy, but it's not impossible, I used to think it was. I suppose I may have found him because I was more open, we were from different age groups, different races and cultures but I didn't care about any of that. And you won't either when you meet the right person. I wish I could tell you where to find one, hell if I know.

 

Oh yeah, you'll see people married and such. I see people and relatives married all the time and honestly, none of them have anything I want. I love my nieces and nephews but not having kids ain't all bad, I'll leave it at that . All that glitters ain't gold.

 

All the best to you OP and I hope you find him sooner rather than later.