Noproblem Posted March 3, 2014 Share Posted March 3, 2014 I've been single for coming on 15 years now. 34 years old. In those fifteen years I've never had a date or any interest at all from women so far as I can tell. I'm not especially proactive in that regard, but then no woman I've ever asked out has said yes and as the years go by you feel less and less inclined to ask. I can understand the frustration of the OP. It's not so much a case of keeping up but the feeling that the world is moving on without you. And in many ways it's true. I see my friends dating, getting married, having children and realize they're moving on to a world I most likely will never have. As the guy who most guys seems to hate likes to say: Never say never. Link to post Share on other sites
Frank2thepoint Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 This summer will mark seven years of being single and headache free. I would say men are going to disagree with my post. I don't think I am asking for a lot. 1. Have a good job- is that really hard? 2. Work-out-eat healthy- take care of yourself, it's your body. I don't want my future husband to have a stroke at 50 and bed ridden at 51. 3. Education- Geez go to college. Do something with your life. I want a guy with goals and who is ambitious. 4. Handsome- I don't want a guy with no teeth. 5. Sweet- buy me some flowers, tell me I'm pretty, open my door. 6. Car- if you have a job then you would have a car. This might be a good lesson for some of you guys. It's not that hard. 1. What do you consider a good job? Garbage man, but unionized, job security, benefits, and pension? Or financial consultant, bringing in lots of money, but has no idea if he will have work the next day due to the economy (Remember Lehman Brothers)? 2. This one is obvious, you want an athletic man. That leaves out probably 90% of the male populous. Also being an exercise junkie does not guarantee long life. Genes determine your longevity. 3. Education and ambition/goals are two separate things. There are plenty of people with no high school diplomas, but have the drive and ambition that they are successful. Same goes for people holding a Master's and don't give a sh*t about ambition. 4. I ignored the no teeth part. You just want a gorgeous guy. Highly subjective. What others may find handsome might be ugly for you. 5. Being sweet is good. Many men who are not athletic, highly ambitious, and gorgeous looking are sweet. But those men don't fit your list. 6. I live in NYC. I sold my car several years ago because I realized I don't need one in a metropolitan city where there are public transportation and taxis. Plus I save a lot of money and headache. This was a good lesson indeed. I respect that you know what you want, but your list may deter you from finding a viable partner. You should consider being a bit flexible, understanding, and allow a man with flaws on your list, because being human means you have flaws. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 How long have you been single? Four years, four months, 24 days and a smattering of hours. Divorce can do that to a person. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 I'm taken, but before my previous relationship, I was single for 6 years and dated just 3 times during that period. There were times that I was sad to be alone, but looking back I think I was better off. I grew a lot as a person on my own and am happy with who I am right now. Link to post Share on other sites
regine_phalange Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 6 months and I intend to keep it that way for a long time. On the other hand, whenever I say that, I meet someone out of the blue. I'm scared now. I won't go anywhere today. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GravityMan Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 There are a lot of guys out there who meet all six of the OP's requirements and then some. However... - Most of them aged 25+ are already in committed relationships or married. I'd say at least 85% of such guys aged 25-35 are taken. After all they have positive qualities that a lot of women like. Many of the remaining guys either prefer to be single, are in-between relationships or just don't put themselves out there enough. - Many of the aforementioned guys have solid people-pickers and made wise decisions choosing their partner, hence their partner is also a good woman who's emotionally stable and has her life together. Those guys are unlikely to become single anytime soon, if ever. - That same people-picker concept also applies to other people they associate with (friends, etc.). - While they may have dated around (in terms of variety) in the past, a solid majority of those guys ultimately tend to get into relationships with women who are similar in terms of one or more of the following: culture, socioeconomics, education, career and family background. Easier to "get" each other, to connect and relate to each other. - Out of the remaining guys who are single and meet the OP's requirements...there still has to be mutual attraction and chemistry, which cuts down on the potential pool quite a bit further. - These kinds of guys...while they like to go out and have some fun every now and then...generally don't spend 3+ nights a week at places like bars and clubs. Link to post Share on other sites
ReinventingMe Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 Ive been out of relationships now for..... yikes... 7 years. But in those 7 years Ive been working on me. Now that I feel im just about ready to try dating-relationships again I worry Im too long out of practise! LOL Link to post Share on other sites
ASG Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 Coming up on 3 years now. I'm quite happy on my own, but sometimes I do miss having someone. But I won't settle. I've dated a bit in these 3 years, but either the timing wasn't right or they just wanted sex or I wasn't really into them, for whatever reason. Link to post Share on other sites
positive progressive Posted March 5, 2014 Share Posted March 5, 2014 Been single for about three years now. During that time I went to school full time and worked part time, dropped out, and started working full time. But most of all I used the time to pull myself together emotionally. There was a lot of stuff going on in my personal life that was really messing me up. Now I think I've finally grieved it properly and am ready to start dating again. It's just so tough when you're 25 and have been out for that long! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
yume Posted March 6, 2014 Share Posted March 6, 2014 (edited) I've been single for 4 years. I have dated in this time frame, but for whatever reason, I've only met one person (out of maybe 11 that I've met / been on a couple dates with) that I knew I wanted to end up with, and that didn't work out. For the most part, I've been ok with being single, but lately it's been really getting to me. Compounded with the loss of my dad 7 months ago, my loneliness seems to be peaking, and I have to say I'm losing hope at this point. For anyone who may read this, do you have any words of encouragement for me (or others) who have been single for a long time? Edited March 6, 2014 by yume Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted March 6, 2014 Share Posted March 6, 2014 I've been single for 4 years. I have dated in this time frame, but for whatever reason, I've only met one person (out of maybe 11 that I've met / been on a couple dates with) that I knew I wanted to end up with, and that didn't work out. For the most part, I've been ok with being single, but lately it's been really getting to me. Compounded with the loss of my dad 7 months ago, my loneliness seems to be peaking, and I have to say I'm losing hope at this point. For anyone who may read this, do you have any words of encouragement for me (or others) who have been single for a long time? Been single for 19 years! And overall its been a blessing. Maybe dating and some kind relations thru out this time has validated that singlehood bliss is attainable. Sorry about your loss, for that does take faith to move on... And validates our genuine need for love in our lives. May you be blessed with solid relationships . Peace 1 Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted March 6, 2014 Share Posted March 6, 2014 I've been single 10 months, and most likely I will stay single for a long time. I can be single for stretches of years. If a man who met my requirements came along, I would maybe think about dating seriously. Link to post Share on other sites
Lokie Posted March 6, 2014 Share Posted March 6, 2014 I have all the things listed and much more. I'm independent, have my own condo, 2 cars, working on my Masters. I have a job that can cover my expenses. I work out, tall, lean muscles, D cup, nice ass, with all my pearly whites. I'm attractive.I cook healthy food & clean. I'm outgoing, travel, plenty of friends. I'm affectionate and nice. I know how to say please and thank you. I can take a compliment and give compliments. Nothing that I don't ask for. Also, very humble, I see. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
SJC2008 Posted March 6, 2014 Share Posted March 6, 2014 Men in your age group who are independent, educated AND good looking have options galore, it's like shooting fish in a barrel. Why would they overlook a 23 year old bikini babe for a woman who's pushing 30 and has baby rabies? Link to post Share on other sites
D.Mc. Posted March 6, 2014 Share Posted March 6, 2014 At 28 you think it's hard starting over?? Try 40++, but I won't settle for my "deal breakers" either. BTW, if OC, Ca. is anything like it's portrayed on TV, you should have no problem w/tall/dark/handsome. Link to post Share on other sites
Khyla Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 At 28 you think it's hard starting over?? Try 40++, ... I cant believe it's already been 14 months since my hubby died of a suddden heart attack. On top of the shock, emotional and mental upheaval, my body clearly had physical withdrawal symptoms, and I just wanted to replace that immediately! ---I didnt, of course--- for the obvious repercussions, but I was tempted. If the opportunity had presented itself last year at this time with the right person, I would have gone for it and spent the night with a friend of his.(i was on antidepressants, antianxiety meds, AND drinking a bit) As it turned out the opportunity did present itself again recently and I insisted it be a FWB situation.... problem is I dont see him often enough.... and I really miss sleeping next to someone every night ... i just dont want them in my life 24/7 right now.... Hubby and I had our own interests and pursuits, but I do miss the things we shared in common like fishing, boating, swimming, biking etc. and the sex we enjoyed daily... I dont know. Maybe I come across as being selfish, but I do get off on seeing I can make someone else happy, extremely happy... loving them and feeling their love for me... So although there are some things I like about being single, I cant say I enjoy it. The OLD site wants you to say what you're looking for and I really don't know. ??? but definitely looking for something! Link to post Share on other sites
tom23 Posted March 8, 2014 Share Posted March 8, 2014 As embarrassing it is for me to admit, and as sad as it makes me feel to say it... I've been single my entire life... Just under 24 years 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted March 8, 2014 Share Posted March 8, 2014 I've been single forever! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Noproblem Posted March 8, 2014 Share Posted March 8, 2014 Men in your age group who are independent, educated AND good looking have options galore, it's like shooting fish in a barrel. Why would they overlook a 23 year old bikini babe for a woman who's pushing 30 and has baby rabies? Because Why not? If she is a successful women who looks good and takes good care of her physical appearance. She'll get successful handsome men even if she was in her 50s Life has changed, look around you, you can't tell now who is 39 and who is 26 Some guys I know look they are 30 but they are actually 19. It's all about your spirit, and how you work hard to maintain your youth and enhance your overall appearance and attitude toward life and others ..... Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted March 8, 2014 Share Posted March 8, 2014 I've been single for three months. My goal is not to make it to six months. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
William Posted March 8, 2014 Share Posted March 8, 2014 For readers who may find some postings confusing or without attribution, we had two previously banned members, actually the same hydra but with two heads, show up and do some disrupting in the early stages of the thread, so I tried to clean things up as best possible. Please continue! Link to post Share on other sites
Queen_Sophie_Anne Posted March 15, 2014 Share Posted March 15, 2014 almost 4 months. I'm "talking" to guys online - whatever the eff that means - and setting up dates, but nothing concrete yet. sighhh 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted March 15, 2014 Share Posted March 15, 2014 In my heart: forever. I have never been in love. In reality: 2 years since my LTR. Link to post Share on other sites
melell Posted March 15, 2014 Share Posted March 15, 2014 Around a year, and I am not actively trying to halt that. Link to post Share on other sites
Moe'sTavern Posted March 15, 2014 Share Posted March 15, 2014 I've always been single. Link to post Share on other sites
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