tabular Posted February 23, 2014 Share Posted February 23, 2014 So my ex introduced me to this guy in October, and ex dumped me right afterwards. The guy and I, however, have been pretty much hanging out most of the weeks since then and became really good friends. In fact, I have spent way more time with him now than I ever had with my ex. Apart from one situation early on, when he just held my hand while we were walking home from the bus stop, there was never anything that would make me even the slightest bit confused about him seeing me as more than just as a friend (and I didn't read too much into that situation anyway). I would talk to him a lot about my break-up with said ex, and he would confide in me about his relationship problems. However, a few nights ago we got drunk at his place and I ended up staying over. We cuddled, he was caressing my face with his fingers while sleeping, and then the next day texted me that he dumped his girlfriend, whom he wanted to dump for quite some time. Thing is - I'd make a move right away, as I find him incredibly good-looking and I really feel a great connection with him, but during one of our friendly conversations he mentioned several times that he would never have sex with anyone whom his 'mates' have had sex with before. For one - the 'bro-code', but my ex and him are not that close friends - more like acquaintances. They don't share the same social circle and they haven't seen each other in months (though they go to the same uni so they do run into each other). And secondly, due to the fact that he doesn't want to sleep with a woman where he knows the guy who slept with her before, just because he finds thoughts that would emerge to him in the process very disturbing. What do you think should I do? I saw him today and it was all back to normal - friend zone style. He suggested though that we meet up for a drink some time this week (a fairly normal suggestion, so nothing out of the ordinary). Would that be the right moment to make a move or should I wait for him to make it? Link to post Share on other sites
David87 Posted February 24, 2014 Share Posted February 24, 2014 Before making a move you'l have to find out if he likes you to, more than a friend. If not talk to him directly and say that you'd like to be more than friends, but it's a 2 way street you could win him as a bf or lose him as a friend. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tabular Posted February 24, 2014 Author Share Posted February 24, 2014 Thank you for your reply. I know you're right but I just don't know how to bring it up. And also - I do think that he likes me more than just as a friend, however, I am pretty sure his answer would be a 'no' based on the fact that a guy he knows slept with me in the past. He often said it is a 'guy thing' not to sleep with someone where they knew the person who has already done it with them… even if they are just acquaintances, not really friends per se. Link to post Share on other sites
lovebirds Posted February 24, 2014 Share Posted February 24, 2014 He seems interested, you could just keep doing what you're doing and create opportunities where he could make a move? I would not worry too much about the bro code thing... maybe he still needs some time, he only just broke up with his girlfriend. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lovenotwar Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 The bro code thing is goofy. Don't concern yourself with it. You need to flirt. Alcohol can make stuff happen, but it can also make it harder for stuff to happen, if you two only get stuff going when there's alcohol involved. Flirting is basically the solution. I just gave the same advice in another thread; you need to start touching, when you flirt. If you start subtle, and just sort of touch more and more (when not drinking), it should be pretty clear if it's working or not. The goal is to get to a point where you touch him, and just keep your hand there, or whatever. If that's all good, you're ready to make your move. Just remember that it might not work out, and if it doesn't, that's OK too. Don't force it if he is pulling away etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Survivor12 Posted March 8, 2014 Share Posted March 8, 2014 He seems interested, you could just keep doing what you're doing and create opportunities where he could make a move? I would not worry too much about the bro code thing... maybe he still needs some time, he only just broke up with his girlfriend. THIS^^^^^ His actions during your sleepover says that he likes you as more than a friend. As lovebirds said, he only just broke up with his gf so perhaps he would like to wait before getting involved in another relationship. Give him time to work through that as well as his feelings about being with his friend's ex. If he has (or develops) strong enough feelings for you, he won't let those things stand in his way. His connection with you will trump them both. It sounds like he's moving in the right direction (breaking up with his gf & showing his affection) so just hang in there and give him a little more time. I don't think you'll have to wait very long. Link to post Share on other sites
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