LuLu28 Posted January 21, 2005 Share Posted January 21, 2005 Question for all you men!! How long do you know that you want to get engaged with your girlfriend???? is it better you are dating for a year or 10 years??? Link to post Share on other sites
Moose Posted January 21, 2005 Share Posted January 21, 2005 About 10 seconds after I met her......... But that's just me. We actually dated off and on for about 3 years before we did get engaged though. I think it's a good idea to get to know who you're getting ready to spend the rest of your life with though. Not move in together, but at least know what you're getting into. Link to post Share on other sites
rtobiejr Posted January 21, 2005 Share Posted January 21, 2005 My boyfriend said he knew after about 3 months of dating that I was "the one". He just proposed recently, though, after a little over a year of dating. Link to post Share on other sites
Gunner Posted January 21, 2005 Share Posted January 21, 2005 I knew right away because I gave my wife a promise ring after nine days. We became engaged after five months and were married about 10 months later. Now we've been married almost 17 years. Life is good when you find the "one". Gunner Link to post Share on other sites
sumdude Posted January 21, 2005 Share Posted January 21, 2005 Took me about 5 years to propose. We did live together for 4 of them. Link to post Share on other sites
potatohead Posted January 31, 2005 Share Posted January 31, 2005 So what is it then that takes some men so long? I have been with mine for 10 years - we were high school sweethearts and ended up having a child young (an oopsie) - so we waited at first to grow up and get our lives in order. Now here we are happy, content, and living together. Also own a house - we are basically married other than the paperwork and me having the last name. So why hasn't it happened? The only thing that would benefit I suppose is me not having to explain myself to everyone on why my name is different then his and our daughters. Do I move on or continue as is? I have even asked myself and it gets laughed off as a joke. WHAT IS WRONG? Link to post Share on other sites
Moose Posted February 1, 2005 Share Posted February 1, 2005 You're asking the wrong persons. You need to ask him. Link to post Share on other sites
DoggyDog Posted February 1, 2005 Share Posted February 1, 2005 PotatoHd, You need to get married and give your daughter a life with a "mother" and a "father". If nothing else, she will suffer if something happened to both of you. Just something to think about seriously. L DD Link to post Share on other sites
Zora Posted February 1, 2005 Share Posted February 1, 2005 Originally posted by Gunner I knew right away because I gave my wife a promise ring after nine days. We became engaged after five months and were married about 10 months later. Now we've been married almost 17 years. Life is good when you find the "one". Gunner That's awesome! I wanna be like you when I grow up and I am a couple away from 30! I know my guy is the one and I believe he feels the same but I am just riding the tide, no pressure on a ring or anything of the sorts!! Life is good here to! Link to post Share on other sites
carla Posted February 12, 2005 Share Posted February 12, 2005 Hey LuLu Get off of your high horse and ask him. Who made the rule that only the guy can pop the question? My BF and I were together for 7 years and we were both very ickxnay on the marriage thing being that we both have been divorced. Last March I popped the question with a ring in hand and a romantic day planned. Now I sit here writing you with 4 months and 13 days until the day I become Mrs Carla G________. But who's counting. If you really want to know how he's feeling do it otherwise you maybe sitting in that comfort zone and giving the milk away for free for the rest of your life. Good Luck. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted February 12, 2005 Share Posted February 12, 2005 the avg is dating for 2 yrs before he pops the question if couple gets married eventually. that is about right, i think Link to post Share on other sites
MassiveAtom Posted February 12, 2005 Share Posted February 12, 2005 I married niether wise nor well. 1 year total Friends, lovers, married. Afer 8 years, O-VER! Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted February 12, 2005 Share Posted February 12, 2005 Originally posted by carla Hey LuLu Get off of your high horse and ask him. Who made the rule that only the guy can pop the question? My BF and I were together for 7 years and we were both very ickxnay on the marriage thing being that we both have been divorced. Last March I popped the question with a ring in hand and a romantic day planned. Now I sit here writing you with 4 months and 13 days until the day I become Mrs Carla G________. yeah CARLA, and your marriage will also last 4 month, 13 days. that's ridiculous, a woman asking a man for his hand in marriage. the rule that a man should ask for marriage was made by same person who said that women have babies and men be the main providers. your marriage is DOOMED sweetie. Link to post Share on other sites
carla Posted February 12, 2005 Share Posted February 12, 2005 [your marriage is DOOMED sweetie.] Yeah right and I'm going to listen to any advise from someone with a user name like yours ....................................NOT!!! Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted February 12, 2005 Share Posted February 12, 2005 Originally posted by carla [your marriage is DOOMED sweetie.] Yeah right and I'm going to listen to any advise from someone with a user name like yours ....................................NOT!!! ok, whatever you say CARLA Link to post Share on other sites
MassiveAtom Posted February 12, 2005 Share Posted February 12, 2005 Carla, It's very romantic. There's nothing wrong with what you're doing, and I, unlike alpha, can't predict the future. But somehow, That fella KNOWS men. I wish you the best, and hope everything works out. Really. I don't want anyone to EVER have to go through divorce. It is HORRIBLE. Maybe it's just cuz I'm bitter, but my advice, seek couples counselling right away. MA Link to post Share on other sites
carla Posted February 12, 2005 Share Posted February 12, 2005 quote[Maybe it's just cuz I'm bitter, but my advice, seek couples counselling right away.]quote Don't get me wrong Massiveatom. But when we used to say that we were against marriage I think it was more for a defense then not wanting marriage. It was a defence against what we had to deal with our exs then against the institution of marriage. We are now very much over that. After 7.5 years we are very happy together. I'm not saying that we will never split because nothing is garranteed. But I know I don't have to deal with addictions and violence that I had to with my ex and my fiancee doesn't have to deal with greed, dominance, and cheating that he had with his ex. I don't think that we need councilling. We live a comfortable and happy life together. Hopefully that will only change for the better and not the worse. Bitterness will disapate with time. I know, I've been there. Eventually you will chalk it up to life's experiences. You will move on and learn from the past. All of these experiences in life will hopefully make you a better person. Link to post Share on other sites
MassiveAtom Posted February 12, 2005 Share Posted February 12, 2005 Carla, Well stated. I wish you and the future Mr. Carla the very best. Me, I'm not really a bitter man. I'm already a better man. MA Link to post Share on other sites
carla Posted February 12, 2005 Share Posted February 12, 2005 MassiveAtom It sounds like you are a better man. This is the first night that I have been one here in months so I don't know you situation. But I do know that know matter how bad it was you will learn from it. Learning is a good thing. One way of dealing with the negatives in life is looking for the positives. No matter how negative a situation is it always gives you a postive, you just have to be open enough to find it. Link to post Share on other sites
Lil Honey Posted February 16, 2005 Share Posted February 16, 2005 I don't see anything "wrong" with a woman asking a man to marry her. It's an unusual idea to some and isn't something that I would feel comfy doing. But look at what people are doing these days . . . some many things that were big no-nos when I was growing up. *sigh* I suppose if I was in a relationship for X number of years, I'd like to have some clue to where our lives were going. (Edited to delete my screw up. LOL) Link to post Share on other sites
Groovy Posted February 27, 2005 Share Posted February 27, 2005 I have to agree with AlphaMale. Trust me, I am not a reserved women, I can fix plumbing, play contact sports with men, operate power tools....but I wouldn't ask a man for marraige. It's not that you made a mistake. Some men love women who can take initiative like that and if he loves you those things won't turn him away. There's no reason to think he's not your soul mate because you asked him. But I would think a lot of men would feel like you just took their balls and they want them back when you do that kind of thing. Like I said, not everyone. Some men would simply feel honored. I myself like tradition. Link to post Share on other sites
Proto Posted March 9, 2005 Share Posted March 9, 2005 If my girlfriend asked for my hand in marriage that would be, by far, the most awesome and badass thing I've ever witnessed. The reason why I fell in love with my girlfriend in the first place is because she doesn't play games and tackles whatever she does with initiative. This would be those qualities coming out to shine times 50. Link to post Share on other sites
Rosewilt Posted March 11, 2005 Share Posted March 11, 2005 There is some reason he isnt stepping up to the plate. 10 years is a llllllloooonnnnnngggggggg time. Is there something you know that stopping him? Money- or something else? It is romantic when a guy asks, even if the ring is not all that, but just knowing that HE is ready and willing to commit to you. Its easy for a girl to ask because by nature, that is what most girls want. Link to post Share on other sites
rtobiejr Posted March 12, 2005 Share Posted March 12, 2005 In my ever so humble opinion, asking a man to marry me would be like giving myself a gift. yes, i can do it, but half the present is knowing someone else is thinking of you and would voluntarily want to spend their lives with you. that's a gift you can't give yourself...and asking a man to me only coerces him... Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted March 15, 2005 Share Posted March 15, 2005 LOL, rtb! You're right, proposing your b/f kinda feels like buying yourself a present. But you end up being married to the guy you love! Who cares about the "humiliation" of your proposal and that you feel like writing yourself a love letter? Maybe he turns you down and you know you shouldn't waste any more time with him. Guys always know that we're waiting for them to propose. So when they do, they are not really asking you, they are telling you "Now I've decided to finally get burried...ummm...married. And the winner is...you!" How sweet of them! And the excitement and joy of their surprise and the uncertainty is equal to the excitement and joy of a very late bus that finally came after long hours of freezing and waiting. Carla, congrats on your engagement! You're the woman of the future! Alphamale, if you're not Islamic by religion then you are by conviction! Link to post Share on other sites
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