seahorse Posted March 16, 2005 Share Posted March 16, 2005 What makes marriage the be all and end all? Marriage (in the conventional Christian sense) is committing yourself in front of "God" to another person. What if you don't believe in "God"? I got married to keep my late in-laws happy more than anything else. I'm now divorced. My ex husband committed adultery. When asked why, he said he thought the grass was greener; but turned out it wasn't. I am not the type that can forgive broken promises; christian or otherwise; he was out on his arse. Marriage is NO guarantee of committment; this I have learned. He's still with you after ten years? Well done! My current bf insists I should marry him at some stage; I keep telling him No, and I won't change my mind. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt and it didn't fit. Link to post Share on other sites
Moose Posted March 16, 2005 Share Posted March 16, 2005 What makes marriage the be all and end all? Marriage (in the conventional Christian sense) is committing yourself in front of "God" to another person. What if you don't believe in "God"? Personally, I think that if you aren't a Christian, you shouldn't marry. Period. Marriage is a covenant made before God. If you don't believe in Him then being married makes no sense. If you don't believe in Him, then it's just words exchanged between the two involved and there's no accountability to a third party.I got married to keep my late in-laws happy more than anything else. I'm now divorced.Who's fault is it then? You had no clue what marriage was intended to be if this is the reason you married.My ex husband committed adultery. When asked why, he said he thought the grass was greener; but turned out it wasn't.Not surprised. It's apparent that he didn't take his marriage seriously either, was he following your example?Marriage is NO guarantee of committment; this I have learned. He's still with you after ten years? Well done!You're absolutley right in the most secular sense of the word, "marriage". BUT, from a Christian's view, you made a Holy Covenant with God Himself. Leaving your Mother and Cleaving to your spouse to become, "one flesh", until death itself seperates the two. Marriage in THAT sense IS the, "be all and end all". It's unfortunate that such an easy concept can be made into something so complicated, and be so watered down that it leaves nothing but doubt in minds of those who've, "got the T-shirt and it didn't fit." Link to post Share on other sites
Groovy Posted March 17, 2005 Share Posted March 17, 2005 I think that is somewhat harsh Moose. I too am religious as a Christian. But my best friend who was a missionary for God married a man who ended up later being an alcoholic with homosexual behavor who gambled and spent every dime she had. She divorced him after dissapointing the church and her whole family. It was very hard for her but I respect her for doing it. But I agree that we need to go into marraige thinking it is a Holy Union and not treat it like a status or something we can leave if it's not perfect later... Link to post Share on other sites
seahorse Posted March 19, 2005 Share Posted March 19, 2005 Aah Moose I got married to keep the late inlaws happy and to give any children we had a legal name, as here in the Uk that seems to be the way things are "done", conventions etc. We got married, at my insistance in a registry office. I refused to carry the hypocrisy as far as a church wedding. However, I was fully committed to my ex husband up to the point that he confessed about his adultery. I never and I mean NEVER so much as looked at another man, not would I. I made a promise to him on our wedding day, whether that was in front of "God" or not, it was to him, in front of family and friends, and those vows meant something to me. When I promise something I keep that promise. No question. He was the one that broke his promise to me. I couldn't forgive him for that, not ever. All trust went straight out of the window and I could never get it back. Yes I am seeing someone else. No I won't marry him. I don't know if I'll ever let anyone "in" enough to even live with them. My loss probably, but it's all self preservation at the moment. Link to post Share on other sites
katie79 Posted March 20, 2005 Share Posted March 20, 2005 You know what??? You're F*cked no matter how long you know the person. SO who cares??? And I don't give a sh*t if someone responds to this by giving a list of details on how many complaints I had on my "now" fiance. After all I learned in this segment of engagement, you're f*cked anyway. No matter who you marry, it's GOING TO F*CKING SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't care who you are or how much you love them. Marriage and relationships suck and they should NOT exsist EVER!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
LUV93 Posted March 21, 2005 Share Posted March 21, 2005 Katie79 What's up?? YOu seem very angry is your relationship not going well??? Link to post Share on other sites
katie79 Posted March 21, 2005 Share Posted March 21, 2005 NOPE. I was just PMS-ing and was a little drunk last night. Actually, my relationship is going well as of this point. Got no complaints. Sorry if I offended anyone by my prior post, but I was just in a bad mood in general. And my reply was not a reflection of my outlook on my relationship, more so on a friend's relationship b/c she has been having a lot of trouble with her husband and it's been upsetting me . Link to post Share on other sites
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