quarter life crisis

[positive progressive]

Hello loveshack, I'm not sure where to begin so I'll just dive in. I'm halfway through my twenties and I'm very unhappy with my life. I still haven't completed college. Even though I feel like this is the clearest path to a more fullfilling life, both intellectually and financially, I have attempted several times at three different colleges with mediocore to poor results. The last attempt was at a digital arts college, and I worked the hardest I have ever worked towards anything in my life, and still wasn't enough. I ended up leaving because it was insanely expensive, but it's not like I did that great when I was there. I've been out of school for close to a year now, and I work two jobs in order to stay independent and not have to move home. One of my jobs is okay, but I don't exagerate when I say I hate the other one. Unfortunantly, I spend more time there because of health insurance, which is "vital" according to my parents. I'm just not myself when I'm there. I'm guarded, impatient, and sarcastic. None of those traits are true to my essence. And yet, everyday, I walk in and check out for eight hours. Because it's easy. Because I need the money.

Furthermore, this job asks me to work very late hours, so I haven't had a chance to date or socialize for a few years now. I gave up drinking this year because I was in pretty bad shape towards the end of 2013 and I wanted to clear my head, but all my co-workers are heavy drinkers, so hanging with them is pretty much out of the picture. What friends I had a couple years ago dwindled away after I started arts college. So between these two jobs, I find myself spending a lot of time alone.

I've been living alone for a while. I know how to take care of myself, what I should eat and how often I should exercise and all that good stuff. And it's not BAD per say. I have a job, and I occasionally get time to surf and swim, and I'm working on a few creative projects. I just feel so unfulfilled. I've spent most of twenties working, and I'm not challanged anymore, I'm not pushing myself. To put it as ignorantly as possible, I don't want to turn into a retail slum.

Okay I think I'm done. I need to change, I'm just unclear whether I need to change my outlook, or if my outlook is clear and I need to change my environment, or if I should shut the hell up and enjoy something a lot of people don't have nowadays: a job. What do you think loveshack?