Now what?

[loveofhorses1970]

We've been friends, but not close, since 1990. Just the type of friends that laugh and have a good time. We did let things get carried away one night in the late 90s, but we both went our separate ways..no drama. He contacted me 3 weeks ago to let me know his mother had died. She and I had worked together. I had checked on him until after the funeral. After the funeral, he persued me for a friends with benefits. situation, but said he completely understood if I just wanted to be friends and talk because he needed a willing ear. I opted for talking and friendship, but there was still a lot of sexual tension there. Last week while we were chatting, he out of the blue sent me a text saying I remind him of his mom's death and basically he wanted no further contact. Of course, I received an apology text the next morning. I chalked it up to drinking and pain on his part. The next night, same situation happened. This time, he asked for space, thanked me for being there, but said he could handle things on his own and doesn't need help. I told him I understood & never meant to imply anything differently on how he is managing, and that I would disappear until he says otherwise-removed myself from his social media accounts-deleted his number-immediate response from him was "I'm not trying to run you off" and he repeatedly said this. I told him my friendship won't waiver, but I left it at I'm here if you want to talk, otherwise I'm out of sight, out of mind.

I've no clue what happened other than he is hurting. I feel awful deserting him because I know a lot of this is reaction to his mom's death. He's a fireman and doesn't let anyone get too close to him. So, my question is-how long do you go no contact on a friend?