If you want them back.

[LifeGoesOnMan]

Still can't bring myself to delete her off my FB just yet. Has anyone else kept or deleted and what was the outcome long term?

 

You will be doing yourself more harm than good staying friends with her.

 

Deleting her shows that you don't feel the need to see what's going on in her life,which only makes you look and eventually feel stronger.

 

Otherwise feel free to keep stalking her page daily and driving yourself crazy.

[organizedchaos]

Still can't bring myself to delete her off my FB just yet. Has anyone else kept or deleted and what was the outcome long term?

 

I can't wait until you see something you don't want to see. I'm grabbing the popcorn now.

[heartbroken56]

Is he seeing anyone else? I feel your pain.. it's the worst ever! Every morning I wake up and remember. And I've usually had a dream about her which makes it worse. And then when I found out she was seeing someone else pretty much straight after our breakup I was extra heartbroken. Deep down I would take her back but I know I shouldn't. But that opportunity is highly unlikely anyway. Breadcrumbs would be good to know they still have a heart at least.. and the person we thought we once knew is there somewhere and we weren't just fools all along.

I don't think he's seeing anybody. I would never want to know, because I know that if I'm still struggling with it now, it would hurt even more if he were dating someone. I think it hurts to know that he isn't seeing anyone also because then it just looks like he would rather be single than be with me. All I know, is that apparently now he works out like all the time. Maybe it was his way to deal with the breakup or it's his way of putting himself out there.

[heartbroken56]

Its not ridiculous at all, its emotion which everyone has.

 

Breakups are not easy, they are probably one of the hardest things you will have to deal with in your life but you will get through it either way, whether or not you end up getting back together.

 

Its just chemicals in your brain after all, and the pain and hurt fades overtime, as long as you let it.

I don't know. I guess it really affects me a bit that he hasn't reached out to me at all. And I know a lot of users on this site say that's always better. But, if it weren't for my pride or knowing that reaching out to him isn't smart, I would call him. I just control myself not too. I just really want to stop thinking about him and the hope that he'll just pull a hollywood move and want to be with me. I just feel helpless sometimes because of how I feel.

[ex-cat]

hi all;

my situation is weird. I was fall in love with that guy in first sight almost 7 months ago. 2 days after we saw each other begun to date. It was all fun and he was so nice. After sometimes later we broke up. Then we begun to date again, and broke-up...so on. Last broke up happened 2months ago, i begged, cried, texted but you know it didnt work. Then i found a consultant from internet and i paid lot. She offer me NC. I try to NC but cant success, because we work at same place, and i see him everyday.

 

I mean i didn't do NC precisely but he begun to chase me, and one day he texted me "goodmorning. you got dirt on your pants" (it was a very rainy day ) My consultant's back-text advice was rude. But i wrote it anyway. After that message ex blocked me from facebook and never text back i gave up taking advice from consultant and texted to my ex sorry message. And we begun to chat again but never and ever unblock me from fb.

 

One day he said he want to come to home for see me. Of course i didnt accept and said order me a coffee. But he'd insist for 2 weeks and down my guard. He came to my home last week and we talked. He said that he had no time for a relation. But that day we got fun so much, and...sex. Yes,that was a huge mistake.

 

Any idea NC rule works such a kind of situation? (btw i dont see him office anymore. He is working for another department)

[HD93]

I feel as if it's a bit late now to delete her off Facebook.

I want her back obviously, but not yet because I'm still working on myself. I'm attending counselling for my low self-esteem, I'm attending speech therapy for my minor stutter (something that I've hid from everyone, even my friends. If I feel I'm about to stutter, I turn shy). Plus, I'm attending meditation sessions to make me feel at ease.

 

I'm not changing for her, I'm changing for myself. I feel I have to stress that. The silver lining of her breaking up with me was that it made me realise how much my lack of confidence was holding me back, and that I couldn't really express myself fully in the relationship.

 

So she broke up with me after 5 months together in June. I contacted her after a month of NC after I accidentally logged into her email on my iPad while I was on holiday (I only use it when I'm abroad, and she must have been the last person to use it). I facebooked her to just notify her that it was me because an alert came up saying that there's been a security breach and I didn't want her to think I was spying on her emails.

 

I expected her to assume the worst, but she actually responded really positively. Replied with a good paragraph saying that it's all good, and that she was hoping that I was enjoying my holiday etc. I foolishly said afterwards that I now accepted the break up and that I was "re-evulating myself", to which she simply replied back with "have a lovely holiday :)".

 

Once returning home from holiday, I sent her a funny link on Facebook. To which she didn't reply to. But I'm not too bothered about that.

 

So yeah, it's been just under 2 months since the break up, which was followed by a month of NC, then a further 2 weeks of NC, then another 2 weeks of NC.

 

So yeah, it's a bit weird deleting her now but if it reflects myself in a better light then I'll do it if it's recommended.

 

My university restarts in 2 weeks time, and I'll probably see during the initial week of lectures. Undecided whether I'll actually talk to her because I know I still won't be ready, but maybe it would be a good start to reconstruct the ground work.

 

I'm then away for a month on a hospital placement up North. I am then on placement with her for a month in October/November. A good time for us to bond again as it was the way we got together last year.

[zone x]

NC is extremely hard when you have a child... any help on a situation like that?

 

I want her back. I did NC/LC for 2 months, I see her and she says she wants me back... then she says she has to talk to her BF first, then 2 days later Im like "whats going on??" she responds with she wants to remain broken up "for now" and she's happy with her new life etc... when 2 days prior to that she looked beat down and was all sad telling me she wanted me back.. so now im back to NC/LC because I do have to see her everyday when she brings my daughter over before she goes to work.

 

How should I go about this? I want her back, she's obviously a confused ass chick because she doesn't know what she wants...

[HD93]

I feel as if it's a bit late now to delete her off Facebook.

I want her back obviously, but not yet because I'm still working on myself. I'm attending counselling for my low self-esteem, I'm attending speech therapy for my minor stutter (something that I've hid from everyone, even my friends. If I feel I'm about to stutter, I turn shy). Plus, I'm attending meditation sessions to make me feel at ease.

 

I'm not changing for her, I'm changing for myself. I feel I have to stress that. The silver lining of her breaking up with me was that it made me realise how much my lack of confidence was holding me back, and that I couldn't really express myself fully in the relationship.

 

So she broke up with me after 5 months together in June. I contacted her after a month of NC after I accidentally logged into her email on my iPad while I was on holiday (I only use it when I'm abroad, and she must have been the last person to use it). I facebooked her to just notify her that it was me because an alert came up saying that there's been a security breach and I didn't want her to think I was spying on her emails.

 

I expected her to assume the worst, but she actually responded really positively. Replied with a good paragraph saying that it's all good, and that she was hoping that I was enjoying my holiday etc. I foolishly said afterwards that I now accepted the break up and that I was "re-evulating myself", to which she simply replied back with "have a lovely holiday :)".

 

Once returning home from holiday, I sent her a funny link on Facebook. To which she didn't reply to. But I'm not too bothered about that.

 

So yeah, it's been just under 2 months since the break up, which was followed by a month of NC, then a further 2 weeks of NC, then another 2 weeks of NC.

 

So yeah, it's a bit weird deleting her now but if it reflects myself in a better light then I'll do it if it's recommended.

 

My university restarts in 2 weeks time, and I'll probably see during the initial week of lectures. Undecided whether I'll actually talk to her because I know I still won't be ready, but maybe it would be a good start to reconstruct the ground work.

 

I'm then away for a month on a hospital placement up North. I am then on placement with her for a month in October/November. A good time for us to bond again as it was the way we got together last year.

 

Just adding to this.

 

I don't really expect contact from her really. She has no idea that I've acknowledged my issues and that I'm actually in the process of dealing with them.

 

I know that I'll have to be the one who breaks the contact, but I won't do it until I'm ready and my issues are sorted. She too goes to counselling for Dad-issues so I'm also giving her the room too to actually help herself over that.

 

If she happens to be in a relationship when I deem myself ready, then I'll just leave it because if she's happy then I won't bother interfering with that.

[sharp357]

Was wondering if I could have a little advice about my situation... Basically me and my girlfriend broke up a week ago without her telling me why (need some space, time to be herself etc.), 2 days later she rang me crying and saying she had made a mistake. She asked me to take her back and I said yes but we still need to talk about everything. The next day she was instantly off with me again and ignored my messages.

 

We're supposed to talk in about a week after my exams. Do I stick to no contact and then talk to her? I get the feeling its just going to end up breaking up again anyway... It's my birthday on Thursday so I'm thinking if I don't hear anything then I will probably just cut her out of my life and ignore the fact we were supposed to talk because she obviously doesn't care any more anyway. Is this the right thing to do?

[EmbeddedCortex]

Was wondering if I could have a little advice about my situation... Basically me and my girlfriend broke up a week ago without her telling me why (need some space, time to be herself etc.), 2 days later she rang me crying and saying she had made a mistake. She asked me to take her back and I said yes but we still need to talk about everything. The next day she was instantly off with me again and ignored my messages.

 

We're supposed to talk in about a week after my exams. Do I stick to no contact and then talk to her? I get the feeling its just going to end up breaking up again anyway... It's my birthday on Thursday so I'm thinking if I don't hear anything then I will probably just cut her out of my life and ignore the fact we were supposed to talk because she obviously doesn't care any more anyway. Is this the right thing to do?

 

I'm a bit confused. Did you two set a day to talk already? If so, don't message her during that time honestly. Keep it low contact and only respond if she texts you and it's something worthwhile I think. Don't chase after her.

 

Hell, I would go so far as to say ignore her for awhile and see what she does. Will she start trying harder and harder to get back with you? You don't want to be too available or easy to access honestly.

 

Also, you honestly have to make it clear that this "break-up constantly" **** is unacceptable. If you keep enabling her, she will keep doing it. I learned this from experience if you read my threads.

[sharp357]

When she rang me asking to get back together I said yes and we should talk about it after my exams. She agreed and said she would tell me everything that was up, I told her when I finished and then it left with her saying she loved me. I'm just not sure whether I should contact her when I finish or whether I should wait for her to contact me... I should also say, the day after she rang I basically text to ask whether we were together or not for confirmation. This is when she got annoyed and cut off contact again. I'm not hopeful on the end result. I'm definitely not contacting again now

[erklat]

Just adding to this.

 

I don't really expect contact from her really. She has no idea that I've acknowledged my issues and that I'm actually in the process of dealing with them.

 

I know that I'll have to be the one who breaks the contact, but I won't do it until I'm ready and my issues are sorted. She too goes to counselling for Dad-issues so I'm also giving her the room too to actually help herself over that.

 

If she happens to be in a relationship when I deem myself ready, then I'll just leave it because if she's happy then I won't bother interfering with that.

 

Dude, I'm reading your posts and even though you are making progress... Do something for

yourself and not her ffs.

[HD93]

Dude, I'm reading your posts and even though you are making progress... Do something for

yourself and not her ffs.

 

I am I am! When I first started the counselling/meditation, I was still completely under the idea that I won't ever be back with her. I practically moved on if anything. It's just the more I feel better about myself right now, the more I feel as if I really want to give it another go with her. I wasn't ready for the relationship, but I stupidly kept it going because I was blinded by love.

 

Even though I'm not ready yet, I know that in a few months time, giving how much I'm progressing, I'll be ready.

 

I understand that it does sound as if I'm doing all this changing for her. But I really am doing this for myself. I've wasted years of my life being shy and safe, and I don't want that anymore. I feel AND look better than ever, and that alone boots my self-esteem.

 

I feel the shackles are starting to get looser.

 

I don't believe in soul mates, but I know that from everyone that I know she is near-perfect for me, and I know I'm near-perfect for her. Did she break up with me? Yes, I know that she did. But I had issues, and I made no effort at all to trying to sort them during the relationship.

[msms21]

She broke up with me one month ago because i took her gruntead, tryed begging at first and faild of course. On saturday when i got out with her for a breakfast (i had birthday) i read her Sms and saw messages with some guy. Long converstions (on some sentence love you with kisses)

Thats happend after she begged to still talking to me and swear she dont have another guy. They dated couple times.

 

I was hurt told her not to talk to me again . Since than 4 days shes calling each day 3 times and i dont answer.

 

What should i do in my case ? I have to say that when i didnt called her for 2 weeks after the break and didnt answered she called me every day

Edited August 19, 2014 by msms21

[zone x]

NC is extremely hard when you have a child... any help on a situation like that?

 

I want her back. I did NC/LC for 2 months, I see her and she says she wants me back... then she says she has to talk to her BF first, then 2 days later Im like "whats going on??" she responds with she wants to remain broken up "for now" and she's happy with her new life etc... when 2 days prior to that she looked beat down and was all sad telling me she wanted me back.. so now im back to NC/LC because I do have to see her everyday when she brings my daughter over before she goes to work.

 

How should I go about this? I want her back, she's obviously a confused ass chick because she doesn't know what she wants...

[erklat]

NC is extremely hard when you have a child... any help on a situation like that?

 

I want her back. I did NC/LC for 2 months, I see her and she says she wants me back... then she says she has to talk to her BF first, then 2 days later Im like "whats going on??" she responds with she wants to remain broken up "for now" and she's happy with her new life etc... when 2 days prior to that she looked beat down and was all sad telling me she wanted me back.. so now im back to NC/LC because I do have to see her everyday when she brings my daughter over before she goes to work.

 

How should I go about this? I want her back, she's obviously a confused ass chick because she doesn't know what she wants...

 

Keep nc and every contact should be only regarding the child.

 

Statements like that mean that attraction went south and you are now

on a backburner.

[mtsuper]

My ex text me last night with like 5 messages within the span of two hours saying she misses me misses being my baby misses us and says she hopes that one day things fall into place so that we can work on us again and she loves me.I didn't answer and idk if I should or not of course I want to work on it and its been 3 weeks NC is this a breadcrumb?or is this her trying to say to work it out??

[zone x]

Keep nc and every contact should be only regarding the child.

 

Statements like that mean that attraction went south and you are now

on a backburner.

So that's it? No way to bring the attraction back?

[erklat]

So that's it? No way to bring the attraction back?

 

There is but only if you display that she has no impact on the course your

Life is going to take.

[zone x]

There is but only if you display that she has no impact on the course your

Life is going to take.

 

Yeah.. that's what happened before she told me she wanted me back. I was out living not giving a **** bout her then she said she wanted me back and I fed in like a jackass. So do the same thing, nc, no text response unless it's bout my daughter and what if she says she wants me again? Ignore and profit?

[zone x]

I feel kinda funny asking for help with this because I usually figure **** out but I'm out of ideas. Here's a conversation we're having right now. ..

 

Her; The only reason why I said that **** the other day is bc u brought it up and u were being a dick to me. And yeah I want to move past all the **** and get along and raise our baby but u always get upset and start saying **** to me so here we are again. Fighting over some stupid ****. Can't we just get along and raise our daughter?

 

Me; Everything was fine until you said you wanted me back then took it back.

 

Her;

OK well I made it very clear that I had a lot of thinking to do before I made any decisions and I'm sorry I got your hopes up. That's why I said I didn't want to talk to u about anything yet

 

Mind you, she's not being truthful. She said she wanted to be with me and fix our family but she had to talk to her bf first. What should I do?

[organizedchaos]

You've already been told what to do.

[Simon Phoenix]

I feel kinda funny asking for help with this because I usually figure **** out but I'm out of ideas. Here's a conversation we're having right now. ..

 

Her; The only reason why I said that **** the other day is bc u brought it up and u were being a dick to me. And yeah I want to move past all the **** and get along and raise our baby but u always get upset and start saying **** to me so here we are again. Fighting over some stupid ****. Can't we just get along and raise our daughter?

 

Me; Everything was fine until you said you wanted me back then took it back.

 

Her;

OK well I made it very clear that I had a lot of thinking to do before I made any decisions and I'm sorry I got your hopes up. That's why I said I didn't want to talk to u about anything yet

 

Mind you, she's not being truthful. She said she wanted to be with me and fix our family but she had to talk to her bf first. What should I do?

 

Stop talking to her about that s--t and just talk to her about your child. You've been told this over and over -- the answer isn't going to change the more you ask the question.

[zone x]

Should I be an ******* or just be cool?

[erklat]

Should I be an ******* or just be cool?

 

Be cordial.