If you want them back.

[Justanaverageguy]

Thanks gents, still doing a few daft things at times such as looking at old photos reading love letters that kind of thing, but not often just now and again it gets the better of me, 19 years was a long time to be with someone and we were very happy, I think she started to go awol maybe only a month or so at the very most before leaving in July, I still have most of her stuff here so there was no pre-planning of any note, I know eventually we will have to talk about this with a view to her picking up her gear but I have drawn up a plan for that where I get what I want out of it all and I am going to be totally non-compliant in helping her I refuse to play any part whatsoever in the dismantling of any aspect of our marriage, this is all her doing she can carry the can alone I want nothing to do with it.

 

I went poking around here looking for you Ralph to see how you are doing. I'm glad to hear you are do better. Sounds like you have definitely made positive progress moving forward with your life which is great. If I could give you a small tip for someone who has been through the same process (granted my relationship break down was after a much shorter time together).

 

Ending a marriage or any LTR is hard. For me it was like someone dying and you literally go through the stages of grief. Anger is one of those key stages and I know I went through it. The thing I learnt from my break up is that taking out your anger on the other party doesn't help the process. The more you resist and make things difficult the more she will. The more pain it will bring into your life and the longer you will have to deal with it. This is probably the hardest and most difficult thing I had to do in my breakup - it was simply to just let go. To stop resisting and fighting and accept what had happened. That my new future and hers were now separate. I was still angry and it took a long time for that to pass - but I tried my best not to take that out on her. Eventually it passed and I was able to accept what happened and move on. I now actually wish my ex the best of luck in her new life. I'm not saying be a push over - just saying do whats right now so you can be happy again as quickly as possible

[ralfgarnett]

Hi mate, I haven't displaid any anger towards her and I hope I wont have to, what im saying is that it is her that left I didn't want her too and still don't see why she had to, so I'm not going to help her in any way with dismantling our marriage I want nothing to do with it, it's her idea, she caused all this so she can do all the metaphoric and physical lifting and carrying I am going to be a dead weight throughout the entire process, I wont pack anything up for her, I wont carry anything to the car for her, I wont even provide bin liners or boxes for her, I am going to be totally non-compliant in every way possible.

[Calidude6]

I have done NC 3 times and broke it with short talk. Minor talk, not talking about our relationship. She has even contacted me during NC and of course, I replied. It's been about 3 months since we broke up, I have my good and bad days. I'm sticking with the NC and I'm not going to break it for small talk this time. If she comes back, great but if not then that's okay too. I miss her like crazy but that's part of the process. I did have a few hiccups by breaking the NC but I do believe I didn't ruin any chances as long as I stick with NC for sure this time and be happy and have fun.

 

The one thing that always plays in my mind are the people that say, "fight for what you want". And it's funny cause during my relationship with my ex, she always told me to fight. Not sure why people believe that cause that can be smothering. As much as I want to fight for her, I'm sure that's not the best option.

 

I hope good things come my way as I do this. Either it's her or someone else but I hope she still thinks about me. Together for 2.5 years so I'm sure she does but not as much as I do. I guess I'll see what happens. I'm going to stay strong with NC and not talk to her even though I just want any type of conversation with her as she was my best friend. I love her and hope everything turns out okay.

[ralfgarnett]

At the end of this month I would of been with my wife 20 years try going NC after that, its crucifying me at times the pain is horrendous at times I miss her that much.

[Simon Phoenix]

I have done NC 3 times and broke it with short talk. Minor talk, not talking about our relationship. She has even contacted me during NC and of course, I replied. It's been about 3 months since we broke up, I have my good and bad days. I'm sticking with the NC and I'm not going to break it for small talk this time. If she comes back, great but if not then that's okay too. I miss her like crazy but that's part of the process. I did have a few hiccups by breaking the NC but I do believe I didn't ruin any chances as long as I stick with NC for sure this time and be happy and have fun.

 

The one thing that always plays in my mind are the people that say, "fight for what you want". And it's funny cause during my relationship with my ex, she always told me to fight. Not sure why people believe that cause that can be smothering. As much as I want to fight for her, I'm sure that's not the best option.

 

I hope good things come my way as I do this. Either it's her or someone else but I hope she still thinks about me. Together for 2.5 years so I'm sure she does but not as much as I do. I guess I'll see what happens. I'm going to stay strong with NC and not talk to her even though I just want any type of conversation with her as she was my best friend. I love her and hope everything turns out okay.

 

Fighting for the relationship is fine during the relationship. But after it's done it's pissing into the wind.

[Calidude6]

Fighting for the relationship is fine during the relationship. But after it's done it's pissing into the wind.

 

Sounds about right and my mistake was not fighting as hard during the relationship as I was so comfortable with it. My fault, my mistake. It's best for NC and see what happens as life goes by.

[Simon Phoenix]

Sounds about right and my mistake was not fighting as hard during the relationship as I was so comfortable with it. My fault, my mistake. It's best for NC and see what happens as life goes by.

 

I'm guessing she wasn't fighting for it much either. Fighting for the relationship is a two-person thing -- otherwise it's just plain fighting.

[Calidude6]

I'm guessing she wasn't fighting for it much either. Fighting for the relationship is a two-person thing -- otherwise it's just plain fighting.

 

That's where I say it's my fault because she told me the things that she wasn't too happy about and wanted change. I changed for a bit but go right back because I was so comfortable with us that I thought we were going to get married so I do take most of the blame and the responsibility of our relationship falling fart. It hurts a lot cause it was truly an amazing relationship, we barely had any problems and had the best times together. Oh well, I'll learn from my mistakes.

[Justanaverageguy]

It is her that left I didn't want her too and still don't see why she had to, so I'm not going to help her in any way with dismantling our marriage I want nothing to do with it, it's her idea, she caused all this so she can do all the metaphoric and physical lifting and carrying I am going to be a dead weight throughout the entire process, I wont pack anything up for her, I wont carry anything to the car for her, I wont even provide bin liners or boxes for her, I am going to be totally non-compliant in every way possible.

....

At the end of this month I would of been with my wife 20 years try going NC after that, its crucifying me at times the pain is horrendous at times I miss her that much.

 

Hey Ralph - I guess all I was trying to say is that you have moved along way in this process over the past few months but I just want you to have a little bit of a look at your motivations for the above. You state you are going to deliberately be unhelpful and impede the break up process. Why ? I think if you're honest it is because you are simply trying to drag things out and resist to delay the inevitable. It will not change the outcome merely prolong it.

 

But ask yourself this simple question: Are you happy right now ? I can tell from the above that you aren't you are still in a lot of pain. Knowing full well that this in between limbo stage you are in is excruciatingly painful - why would you want to prolong it ? Why would YOU choose to deliberately delay and stay in this state of constant pain ? There is an old saying which simply says - What we resist will persist. All suffering is caused by non-acceptance of what is happening. It may be a thought, a feeling, or a situation such as yours where you want your wife back. You suffer when you want things to be different from how they are. What you resist persists. If you are willing to be brave and accept things are just new different now and move on - I guarantee you the pain will fade away.

[ralfgarnett]

Dear JAAG, your a wise man and I appreciate your input, no I'm far from happy and I am struggling badly to accept that a near 20 year relationship is over, ok it might be over for now but who knows what the future holds she might get a bang on the head, wake up and think wtf and come home or she might not, but I wont give up on it until I have exhausted almost every possible way to woo her back and I believe my time will ome and I will get an opportunity to do so, I do not believe that she doesn't have feelings for me there is no way I remember the way we were right up to separation and there was nothing on the radar, I remember what we were doing the night before and there was nothing wrong there either, I remember the morning she left for work gave me a big kiss told me she loved me, also I am not saying I am stopping her getting her stuff im saying im not going to help her in any way, if boxes need carrying she can carry them, if bags need filling she can fill them I am not lifting one finger to enable her actions no way it's not happening I'm not that doormat I'm not that mug, its all on her to do and if she breaks her back doing it then that's her doing not mine, so what I'm saying is that this is her choice and I want nothing to do with it I can't honestly see anything wrong in being passive and none compliant that's all mate.

[mimiMobile]

I haven't seen gender-based advice on this board at least. It's dumper/dumpee advice, not man/woman advice. And all you are saying about risk applies more to the dumper than the dumpee. It has nothing to do with making the dumper "kiss your ass".

 

This. I will give you an example. Before dating me, my ex was with a celebrity for 2.5 years. They are both celebrities in the heavy metal world. Anyway, she dumped him for lack of compatibility issues and went silent on him for a full month. Yes, the dumper went NC. The entire time he thought he was going to blow his head off, but signed up on an online dating site and began dating around, etc. (that's how we met eventually).

 

After the initial month, they started to talk a little here and there but she maintained there was no talk of "Us" etc. and any time she would give me a breadcrumb like compliment a profile pic on FB or something along those lines, he'd jump at the opportunity and call her and ask if it means she wants to get back together. So no ass kissing there at all. It's just that she had more power than him in that situation and that made him want her - the unobtainable.

 

Same with me. I initially moved out after living with him for 1.5 yrs. Didn't know if I wanted to stay together but the moment he pulled away, I wanted him and then he broke up with me because the power tipped onto his side.

 

The entire relationship especially post BU is all power struggle and sensitivities around that. Best way to establish equilibrium in power for dumpee in my opinion is to say your peace like an apology if you've wronged the dumper and then go NC. Leave on a good note, imo. If they come back, there was a lot of love and misunderstanding. If they don't, alas.

[pa888]

I believe most people (especially inexperienced ones) don't work hard enough to keep the love alive. I'm a firm believer that people can fall back in love, but of course they need to want to try. Many would rather take the easy way out. I am not referring to relationships of course that are rife with incompatibility issues/abuse/etc. either. I'm talking about those where people throw in the towel because the going gets tough, and they refuse to get going. They will repeat the pattern until they get that long term relationships aren't romance novels. Mature couples see the love dying out, recognize it, talk about it, and work on it. Love inevitably dies down if its not nurtured. I feel like it's equivalent of a person failing to water a plant, seeing it die out, and then they decide to walk away altogether because they convince themselves the plant was never good to begin with.

 

Cedar27 your post is old but I think this is the best post I've read so far on this site. At least it struck me with my situation, you can see my post for my full story if you wish.

 

I am proud of myself though, I did not beg or grovel for my ex back like it seems a lot of people do. When he was telling me he no longer loved me I felt like it would be pointless to do so. I could just sense from his body language and tone that it was over for him and there was no point. I did ask if we could be friends but when I got home I realized that I wouldn't be able to do that so I cut him out to give myself space.

 

Someone posted on my post saying that he was cowardly for not addressing what was going on earlier but I didn't understand what that person meant. If your feelings are fading for someone what could you possibly do to fix how you feel? But after reading your post I realized exactly what that person meant. It's natural for things to fade and die down which is why BOTH parties have to put in the effort to make it work. I tried to talk to him about how our relationship had slowed down so many times but he didn't do anything about it and finally decided to call it quits.

 

At least I can say I tried my best to make it work. I think I'm getting closer to accepting the fact that I deserved better than that

[memelia]

Does this ignoring game apply to the woman trying to get her ex back? (the ex was not a jerk, but a quality bf material... i was the one that partially contributed to the breakup)

 

 

This makes zero sense!! If you want them back it means you are not ready to let them go, that's it.

 

Stop over complicating things!! This whole thread has been all men. Each and every one of my ex's have TRIED, none have succeeded, to get me back. Some have succeeded in getting me to sleep with them but I have not taking any of them back, at some point you will all understand why this is, just like the OP, it's never the same, the cat is out of the bag.

 

Here is how I got all my ex's crawling back!! It's very simple, just realize your worth!!! I said to myself over and over, "if someone wants to walk out of my life, let them go." I reminded myself of this over and over, I deleted (not put in a box and store in the attic BS that a lot of people here are suggesting), I deleted all her pics from social media, my computer and my phone. I left the past where it belongs, each prior relationship taught me something that contributed to my present. The present, this is all you have.

 

We live in the present, stop thinking about the past. While each and every one of you men is reminiscing about the past your ex is out with her new man, enjoying her life, writing a new chapter in her life. Don't get stuck !!

 

My advice is move on, not pretend to move on, pretending to move on will hurt you and keep you down. Don't look back, don't do anything to get them back, don't talk to them, don't respond to their messages, don't ask about them, NADA. Think about yourself. I am a strong man (emotionally and physically) and I believe that if a woman doesn't want to be with you, then she is not for you, get that into your head!!

 

All the women crying for their ex's on this site are not crying over some loser wimp who wants to be with them, they are crying for the man who moved on with his life after their relationship ended, do your own research. Stop with the BS excuses, she left because her dog, father, aunt, uncle died, blah blah blah. She left me because we had a LDR and she needed to focus on her exams. You want to know why she left you, she left you because "SHE FELT LIKE LEAVING YOU!!!!" That's it, you don't need closure from your ex, you need to keep moving forward.

 

The only thing I would take to the bank is the following "she is your ex for a reason." Stop worrying about her, stop crying for her, be a man, live your life, be in the present and you will attract all the women you want, peace!

[andie1969]

Well, well, well, I was out on a 2nd date last night with a really nice guy I just met, and guess who texted me after 6 weeks of NC? Yep, it's like they really know when you've moved on and are happy. I have not replied yet, going to wait a while if I do at all. Let him spend the weekend looking at his phone to see if I've replied...

[Simon Phoenix]

Well, well, well, I was out on a 2nd date last night with a really nice guy I just met, and guess who texted me after 6 weeks of NC? Yep, it's like they really know when you've moved on and are happy. I have not replied yet, going to wait a while if I do at all. Let him spend the weekend looking at his phone to see if I've replied...

 

He's not going to look at his phone all weekend. He threw out a line, you didn't respond back, he's moving on. Don't respond and keep moving forward.

[ralfgarnett]

It's a temp check ignore if you need to, unless of course you want to liase with him, if so I wish you well.

[forumman83]

Let me tell you my mindset. And what worked for me. Bear in mind that this is very different from the advices you'll get on LS. And most of people won't agree with me. I tried to explain, but got rejected by the community, cause, according to them, there is no hope for me, I don't want to listen. They are partially right, but knowing so I combined all the advices I got, read, learned together.......................

.......

 

The main problem I have with your "story" is that it is clear that you did not take the time necessary to HEAL and become yourself again. Instead, you are jumping in with two feet into something you're not emotionally capable of handling. She is going to eat you alive and you "faking it" won't get you through.

 

Emotional health, personal contentment, personal happiness and direction...these things cannot be faked.

[LifeGoesOnMan]

Emotional health, personal contentment, personal happiness and direction...these things cannot be faked.

 

 

 

 

sigh, so true.

[erklat]

The main problem I have with your "story" is that it is clear that you did not take the time necessary to HEAL and become yourself again. Instead, you are jumping in with two feet into something you're not emotionally capable of handling. She is going to eat you alive and you "faking it" won't get you through.

 

Emotional health, personal contentment, personal happiness and direction...these things cannot be faked.

 

You necroed a year and a half old post nicely.

 

He's my high school friend and we were originally dumped around the same

time. Eventually they reconciled but he's suffering because he never took the

time to grow. He's extra focused on her and that makes him needy and unhappy.

[gliders]

Hello Heartbroken!

 

If you are reading this, I am assuming you have recently been dumped, broken up with, heart torn apart, feelings crushed, feeling like life isn’t worth living, feeling like you aren’t good enough or thinking why me? Chin up, you’re better than that. They are just emotions, a chemically influenced overload on your brain.

 

& Trust me friend, I’ve been there… you have no clue (well if you read either one of my saga of a thread “ 7 years relationship in limbo” or “I believe in second chances”, then you do have a clue or at least a good idea) and I’m going to try to save you a lot of future misery and do my best to guide you in the right direction and give you the best chance of either getting over your ex, or getting your ex back.. the right way.

 

Now listen closely here,

 

closer,

 

closer,

 

even closer.

 

YOUR ONE & ONLY OPTION HERE IS TO GO *NO CONTACT*.

 

No, you cant get them back by begging, pleading, crying.

 

No, you cant get them back by writing love poems, sending gifts, or declaring your love for them on facebook.

 

& You definitely can’t get them back by being “just friends”

(No, GOD NO.. seriously DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT THAT)

 

Now since that’s out of the way, here’s how you get them back..

 

YOU MOVE ON!

 

Yes, I know, it sounds counterproductive, but anything and everything you do other than moving on with set you back or permanently kill your chances of ever getting your ex back, EVER!

 

Now, when I say Move On, I mean you stick to no contact through and through, you live your life, you do all the crying you have too, you do all the partying you want to, you simply DO YOU.

 

IT IS IMPERATIVE THAT IT APPEARS TO THEM, THAT THEY HAVE *LOST YOU*.

 

and despite whatever number of days someone tries to tell you, YOU DO NOT BUDGE until they contact you..

 

Because they will.

 

that is, if you have a chance.

 

To be quite honest, if they do not contact you within a few months, it doesn’t look good. You then stick to NO CONTACT , you remember who you were before the break-up, because that’s still who you are, and you go where the wind takes you.

 

You be brave (you know that song, I wanna see you be brave? You be f’n brave my friend!

 

because you will survive, either way.

 

Now if they do contact you, and there is a VERY good chance they will, (especially if the relationship was 6 months or longer) you CANNOT and I repeat, you CANNOT jump at the first chance you get to try and reconcile.

 

YOU MUST NOT REPLY TO OR ACCEPT ANYTHING LESS THAN:

 

*I WANT TO GET BACK TOGETHER*

 

Kapeesh? Anything less than that is bs, breadcrumbs, seeing if you’re still on the hook, etc.

 

You have to make them work for it. Seriously, you can’t give in.

again, it has to appear as if they have lost you.

 

I cannot stress this enough, because if you hang around they will never know what it’s like to miss you.

 

And they will continue to lose respect for you, loss respect means loss attraction, means loss chances.

 

Now the #1 way to see how invested they really are in getting back together with you, is to date other people.

 

I know what you’re thinking, I don’t even need to say it, but I will tell you this..

 

there is nothing more attractive to your ex, than seeing their ex happpy with someone else.

 

It drives guys crazy, its drives girls into a murderous rage. (ive seen it first hand and Ive been there too)

 

Now, I am not telling you to go play with someone else’s emotions and then go and break their heart when your ex comes crawling back.. that would be wrong.

 

Its also going to take some time before you can even think about dating someone else, so take all the time you need.

 

What I have been trying to say along is you have to do your best to move on, and if a few months down the road your ex contacts you , again with nothing less than *I WANT TO GET BACK TOGETHER* and you still want to be with them, then you do what you have to do.

 

Because if you are the one who was dumped, you simply cannot go back or make anything right.

 

The dumper has too.

 

And you have to make them work for it, nothing less than *I want to get back together* NOTHING.

 

Make them squirm, scream, cry whatever, but until you get the *I want to get back together*, don’t even give them the time of the day.

 

If anything, appear as happy as ever and do not bring up anything about the relationship or wanting to get back together, if that cat gets out of the bag too soon, you lose!

 

IF YOU ARE EASY TO GET, YOU WILL BE EASY TO FORGET. also imperative.

 

& you really don’t know what you got until its gone, and neither do they.

 

If they love you, they will come crawling back.

 

Guaranteed, because what’s meant to be, will be.

 

I know its short and sweet but that’s all that needs to be said.

 

There is no magic formula, solution or any other way.

 

Please forgive me if this has already been asked, will this work if she left me because i cheated multiple times? and theres other forms of betrayal, on both sides?

[Sow_Motion]

Hi everybody,

 

Allow me to tell you my story:

 

About two years ago I met someone at work. This girl was crazy about me very fast. Chased after me, did everything and anything to spend time with me. I held off because we were both in a relationship and I didn't want her nor me to cheat. And I didn't feel the same way anyway. For me being friends was enough, so we went to bars with other colleagues and we had normal fun, like I have with other friends.

But gradually I started getting feelings for her.

After about 6 months of her chasing me we went out on a date. It was great and we kissed.

We sort of had an affair for a year. In this time we started making plans for the future and about leaving our partners. Both our relationships were dead from even before we met. But I guess we were both scared to break it off, she because of her daughter, me because all of the financial ties.

Anyway, 3 months ago my relationship ended so if there was still a wall after which I kept my feelings, it broke at that moment.

And I started putting pressure on her to break off her relationship and go for me.

Ofcourse this made her feel choked and she started to back off.

And I followed my heart instead of my head and pushed harder, gave more attention, wanted more attention.

She warned me she needed space and I ignored it.

Last week she ignored me for 4 days, in which I realized what I did wrong so I sent her a message I will let her go and continue my life. That i'm only interested in being her lover 100% and nothing less. She replied she doesn't want to be more then friends right now, maybe forever. I went NC but damn, 3 days later I bump into her at work and she invited me for lunch the next day and for a drink the day after.

I felt like she did that because of some guilt and love she still has but not really because she wants to do that...

So after first accepting I blew both off.

Today she came to see me, saying she still wants that drink. I've asked how attracted she still is to me from 1-10 and she replied 3-4. So i'm guessing it's really1-2.

 

I should move on right? Go have that drink and be 100% clear of my intentions and then go 100% NC.

 

your thoughts please?

[JohnsonBaby]

Just chiming in to say that if an ex doesn't contact me again for months I will forget about him and delete his number . This No contact stuff only works if the cause of the break up did not affect underlying feelings .

[LifeGoesOnMan]

Hey all , I know it’s been awhile, just wanted to check in and assure you all that everything will be fine and that you will get over it.

 

After committing to stay single for a while ive realized that relationships can be great but can also be corny as fk, very stressful and to be honest, unnecessary.

 

Also I had put my ex on such a high pedestal after the initial breakup and the months following that I failed to realize what a stupid bch she is and that she really is nothing special, a lot of you will realize the same thing eventually and you won’t even want them back.

 

 

And all those feelings of despair you feel when the relationship ends are temporary, time really does heal all wounds (or when the chemical imbalance youre feeling balances itself out again)

 

Its been about a year since I even talked to my ex and I honestly don’t give two shets about her, and we were together/involved for 9 friggin years, thought i’d never get over her but I have and it was even without finding someone new.

 

You just get over it.

 

You honestly don’t need anyone but yourself, your friends and family.

 

But again, the best thing you can do is stick to no contact, move on with your life, and if things are meant to be they will be, as cliché’ as that sounds.

 

And if not, fk em.

 

Cheers!

[ExtraSpice]

I just read through majority of the thread. Very helpful stuff and very interesting conversations.

 

The situation I am in pertains exactly to the conversations going on in this thread. So I wanted some advice. In my case I was the dumper. After some time I realized that breaking up was a mistake. I didn't leave any vague messages, I came straight out and said that I messed up and asked if she would be willing to give the relationship a second chance.

 

She was confused and not sure of herself. So I told her to take some time to think about it and then give me an answer. During this time I asked that we stay in NC. She sent me a birthday text during this time to which I replied cordially but kept it short. Then I messed up once during this time and called her and told her I missed her and blah di blah.

 

After that I got a Christmas text from her, to which we had a few texts back and forth. Def should have kept it very short but I did not. My mistake. After that however, I have not done anything at all.

 

Next week is when she is supposed to give me a final answer. If the answer is yes, great lets get to work. But if it is no, I intend on respecting her decision and going full NC without hoping that she will come back. Of course the emotional part of me is still going to hope for that but my goal is to move on without fantasizing about reconciliation.

 

The advice I need is regarding this final conversation we will have. Of course my plan is to keep my composure and take it all in good stride. There are some reason she gave me because of which she feels unsure. Some of them don't make sense. They could just be an excuse in order to avoid telling the truth because maybe she feels like it will hurt me, I don't know. If the answer does come back as a no, should I even bother asking her for those explanations or just say I understand, I hope you find happiness and the end?

[Kevin_D]

I've had girlfriends who were intelligent, nice and fun to be with. And when it was over, I was devastated for months. But that's SO different from what I'm experiencing right now.

 

With these girls, I couldn't stand being rejected. I would picture them sleeping with other dudes, send them angry emails in the middle of the night and so on. Eventually they started ignoring me and I gave up. Now when I'm older, I realise that it wasn't the end of the world and that these breakups even gave me opportunities to do things that I really enjoyed.

 

If you've only been in this kind of relationship, you'll simply not get what I'm talking about. These relationships can be great, the attraction can be incredible,, but you'll be able to live without them as soon as you accept that living on your own isn't THAT scary.

 

Have you ever felt like nobody understands you? I did. I finally accepted that nobody would ever fully understand. My parents did their best, but they could never enter my mind.

 

Then one day, I met my ex. She had everything I always had dreamed about. I didn't even need to speak to her. She read my mind. If I got frustrated, she comforted me, because she understood why. If I had bad day, she would surprise me with a treaure hunt or something like that. She would make up stories about how I am the chosen one who has to find the gnomes hidden candy treasure. We created fairytales, it felt like a fairytale and sadly... it was a fairytale.

 

We were together for 7 years. I went through some hard times during these years. Relatives got ill. And I couldn't seem to get a job, even though I had a masters degree in engineering and had always been successful earlier. I got depressed and lost faith in myself. The only thing that kept me going was that I had her. Every night, for seven years, I thanked god (who I don't believe in) that I had found someone who was so perfect for me.

 

All couples have their inside jokes, but for us it was insane. She wrote down everything we came up with in books. We had our own langauge, with a dictionary and everything, just like kids. After 7 years, we could be waiting for a train for 45 minutes and still have blast together. Things never got boring between us. We laughed like crazy just a couple of days before she left me. And she looked me in the eyes, like I was the cutest puppy she had even seen.

 

Then one day, after 7 years, I was replaced. Basically overnight. Nobody saw it coming, not me, not my friends, not her friends.

 

Though it's been two years since I heard from her, I still think about her every waking hour. There are some relationships that you'll never get over. It's like telling a mother who just lost her baby "Don't worry, you'll get over it, eventually you'll get a new, better baby". It just doesn't work like that.

 

She was everything I had ever wanted. You know when teenage girls write lists about how their future huspend is going to be? My ex met every criteria I had ever had. Not once during these 7 years did I think "What if this won't work?".

 

I love her so deeply. And yet, my biggest fear is that I will run into her. Because I realise that I'm dust to her. Some believe that she mirrored me for 7 years. I honestly don't know.

 

My life should be great. I have a stunning girlfriend, a great job, lots of money. And yet, I miss her every day. I miss my best friend. I will always miss her.