If you want them back.

[d3sigN8t3dDruNk]

Good read. I made a post in this topic section about similar stuff, would like peoples opinions on what I should do. Thanks

[msms21]

Look man in in NC for 45 days now .

And everytime im going to break it i look at this thread and stop myself from doing it.

Must say im not contacting her in any way but im still looking at our photos and follows her facebook. I just CANT stop ! She dumped me almost 4 months ago. And it feels like it happens one week ago. I cant stop missing her, cant stop thinking about her, i just dont want to lose her !!! Everyday is like a nightmare to me, im just waiting for her to contact me, every phone, every message, makes me jump on the phone hoping its her.

I need her. I miss her laugh, voice, face, support, our talks, nights everything im fuc**** needs her !!!!!!

I cant get up from it, i try and try but im so lost. Im sorry of how i acted in the last months of the realtionship and keep blaming myself for this.

Everynight im having nightmares that keep running all the painfull sentences she said to me, i keep asking myself how i was so idiot ? How the hell did i treated this way? I didn't mean.. I was confused, i got cold legs of long realtionship in young age (4 years of realtion and im 21)

Im so sorry... I really feels like i just dont want to live any longer, like everything i do i dont really want to, i just do it.

She made contact with me 2 weeks saying she knows we both moved on but she is sorry of how she ended it and will always love me and hope i will forgive her. I didnt answered than she asked me to answer anything, so i said , i dont want to talk to you. She said im understand.

Shes still calling somthing likee every two weeks from block number to hear my voice and hanging up.

 

If i was an completely idiot in our last months of the realtionship, and due to all those facts, i still needs stay on NC ? I know its not full nc but at least im not contacting her..

 

Is their hope ?

[Chizzle]

My ex and I broke up 2 months ago. I broke up with her but have been regretting it bad. I'm a classic don't know what you have until it's gone. We were together for 3 years but in that time had several other shorter term breakups. She started dating another guy probably 4-5 weeks ago. We never really stopped communicating during this time. Two weeks ago I decided to go no contact but it only lasted a day or so before she started texting me that she was missing me and calling me. I didn't answer until later that night. I failed the NC. Three days of her telling me that she still loved me and missed me etc. ended up with her telling me that she did not want to come back. Misery ensues. I went to a wedding last week which was painful to watch and when I came back asked to meet her so I could eye to eye tell her how I feel and then let her go and start NC. I ended popping the question unexpectedly and the conversation ended with a hug and a "don't worry you'll get over me". The next day she is texting me that it's so hard for her and that she still cares about me. Crying on the phone but every of my attempts to tell her the vision of our relationship going forward and the love I have and promises of work and focus on our relationship is met with "I deeply care for you and am torn but when I think about getting back painful memories of what it was like follow". I am thinking of starting no contact but it is hard because I think I have been making progress here. She is clearly conflicted and I have gotten her back each time we broke up in the past. I believe she still loves me but is afraid to come back to the same painful situation. I am trying to find out if NC is still the best option here considering the time line. It's been two months since the breakup, She is dating someone else, She is contacting me and telling about feelings, having a hard time, conflicted etc. I'm afraid if I go no contact it will give her time to get over me and develop more with the new guy. Is there something I should do or a way to play my cards here to get her back other than NC?

[CT98]

Just wanted to add to the bit about moving on and dating other people.

 

My first girlfriend of 4 years left me for someone else, I struggled for about a month and then met my new girlfriend, I was over my first one and very happy with my new girlfriend.

 

As soon as she found out I was seeing the new girl she went PSYCHO, blowing up my phone, telling me she was going to top herself, refusing to drive up and see the bloke she left me for (He lived about an hour's drive away). I couldn't believe it, this was the girl that was so cold to me and wouldn't give me the time of day. I had to keep reminding her SHE LEFT ME FOR SOMEONE ELSE!! Unbelievable.

 

There is no doubt I could have had her back, but you know what, I just wasn't interested. That's the irony of all this, they seem to come back once you have moved on.

 

Strange thing, although I believe it to be down to the law of attraction.

[msms21]

Just wanted to add to the bit about moving on and dating other people.

 

My first girlfriend of 4 years left me for someone else, I struggled for about a month and then met my new girlfriend, I was over my first one and very happy with my new girlfriend.

 

As soon as she found out I was seeing the new girl she went PSYCHO, blowing up my phone, telling me she was going to top herself, refusing to drive up and see the bloke she left me for (He lived about an hour's drive away). I couldn't believe it, this was the girl that was so cold to me and wouldn't give me the time of day. I had to keep reminding her SHE LEFT ME FOR SOMEONE ELSE!! Unbelievable.

 

There is no doubt I could have had her back, but you know what, I just wasn't interested. That's the irony of all this, they seem to come back once you have moved on.

 

Strange thing, although I believe it to be down to the law of attraction.

 

How long after she left you you started dating your new girlfriend ?

[tikay00]

My ex posted something on Tumblr saying, "(my name), I love you with all of my heart."

 

What should I do?

[CT98]

How long after she left you you started dating your new girlfriend ?

 

It was around about a month, that's when things started getting warmed up anyway.

[CT98]

My ex posted something on Tumblr saying, "(my name), I love you with all of my heart."

 

What should I do?

 

Nothing. Carry on with your life and see if she contacts you directly. If she wants you back she has to be serious about it, otherwise you will just get hurt again. The only way to find out if she's serious is by her confessing to you it was a mistake to let you go and she wants you back.

 

It could be that she's baiting you and missing the ego boost of you being her little lap dog and pandering to her every need. Good. That's what she gets when she loses you. So don't do anything.

[LifeGoesOnMan]

Look man in in NC for 45 days now .

And everytime im going to break it i look at this thread and stop myself from doing it.

Must say im not contacting her in any way but im still looking at our photos and follows her facebook. I just CANT stop ! She dumped me almost 4 months ago. And it feels like it happens one week ago. I cant stop missing her, cant stop thinking about her, i just dont want to lose her !!! Everyday is like a nightmare to me, im just waiting for her to contact me, every phone, every message, makes me jump on the phone hoping its her.

I need her. I miss her laugh, voice, face, support, our talks, nights everything im fuc**** needs her !!!!!!

I cant get up from it, i try and try but im so lost. Im sorry of how i acted in the last months of the realtionship and keep blaming myself for this.

Everynight im having nightmares that keep running all the painfull sentences she said to me, i keep asking myself how i was so idiot ? How the hell did i treated this way? I didn't mean.. I was confused, i got cold legs of long realtionship in young age (4 years of realtion and im 21)

Im so sorry... I really feels like i just dont want to live any longer, like everything i do i dont really want to, i just do it.

She made contact with me 2 weeks saying she knows we both moved on but she is sorry of how she ended it and will always love me and hope i will forgive her. I didnt answered than she asked me to answer anything, so i said , i dont want to talk to you. She said im understand.

Shes still calling somthing likee every two weeks from block number to hear my voice and hanging up.

 

If i was an completely idiot in our last months of the realtionship, and due to all those facts, i still needs stay on NC ? I know its not full nc but at least im not contacting her..

 

Is their hope ?

 

 

 

you gotta kick the facebook stalking thing man..

 

 

I am a big believer in the law of attraction and in energy and even if you don't think you are, you are sending out clingy, desperate energy vibes to the universe and that is not good.

 

 

you only lose what you cling to.

 

 

and I bet you on some sub conscious level she knows you are doing that.

 

 

I challenge you to stop stalking her page for a month or so and see how different you will feel and don't be surprised if you see a change in the way she acts..

 

 

not saying she will come back but I will tell you she will feel the energy shift whether she knows it or not.

 

 

and there is always hope but only if you live your own life and stop worrying about hers.

[CT98]

you gotta kick the facebook stalking thing man..

 

 

I am a big believer in the law of attraction and in energy and even if you don't think you are, you are sending out clingy, desperate energy vibes to the universe and that is not good.

 

 

you only lose what you cling to.

 

 

and I bet you on some sub conscious level she knows you are doing that.

 

 

I challenge you to stop stalking her page for a month or so and see how different you will feel and don't be surprised if you see a change in the way she acts..

 

 

not saying she will come back but I will tell you she will feel the energy shift whether she knows it or not.

 

 

and there is always hope but only if you live your own life and stop worrying about hers.

 

 

I love this thread and your view on life, not only that but I've seen it in my own life so many times, it's almost like clockwork.

 

When my girlfriend dumped me last year I was so down for months, clinging to her, being miserable, generally being unhappy & unattractive.

 

Then I met a really nice girl at a gig I went to, we swapped numbers and I arranged to go on a date with her, I was really excited about meeting her. I actually said to a mate of mine 'You know what will happen now, 'ex' will start to become interested, it always happens like that.'

 

I received a text while I was on my way to the date. Incredible.

 

It's depicted with brilliant accuracy in 'Swingers' - 1996 film. Heartbroken people reading this thread, get on and watch that movie.

[HereAndThenGone]

It's depicted with brilliant accuracy in 'Swingers' - 1996 film. Heartbroken people reading this thread, get on and watch that movie.

 

Mike: "Okay so what if I don't want to give up on her?"

Rob: "You don't call."

Mike: "But you said I don't call if I wanted to give up on her."

Rob: "Right."

Mike: "So I don't call either way?"

Rob: "Right."

Mike: "So what's the difference?"

Rob: "There is no difference right now. See, Mike, the only difference between giving up and not giving up is if you take her back when she wants to come back. But you can't do anything to make her want to come back. In fact, you can only do stuff to make her not want to come back."

Mike: "So the only difference is if I forget about her or just pretend to forget about her?"

Rob: "Right."

Mike: "Well that sucks."

Rob: "Yeah, it sucks."

Mike: "So it's just like a retroactive decision, then? I mean I could, like, forget about her, and then when she comes back make like I just pretended to forget about her?"

Rob: "Right. Although probably more likely the opposite."

Mike: "What do you mean?"

Rob: "I mean at first you're going to pretend to forget about her, you'll not call her, I don't know, whatever...but then eventually, you really will forget about her."

Mike: "Well what if she comes back first?"

Rob: "Mmmm...see, that's the thing, is somehow they know not to come back until you really forget."

Mike: "There's the rub."

Rob: "There's the rub."

[LifeGoesOnMan]

I love this thread and your view on life, not only that but I've seen it in my own life so many times, it's almost like clockwork.

 

When my girlfriend dumped me last year I was so down for months, clinging to her, being miserable, generally being unhappy & unattractive.

 

Then I met a really nice girl at a gig I went to, we swapped numbers and I arranged to go on a date with her, I was really excited about meeting her. I actually said to a mate of mine 'You know what will happen now, 'ex' will start to become interested, it always happens like that.'

 

I received a text while I was on my way to the date. Incredible.

 

It's depicted with brilliant accuracy in 'Swingers' - 1996 film. Heartbroken people reading this thread, get on and watch that movie.

 

 

 

 

bro you just gave me chills lol the same exact thing happened to me, met a girl after the break up, was out to dinner with her and got a text from my ex as well (who was totally trying to manipulate me by sending me old pics of us together at a wedding and on vacation).

 

 

they always know when they are starting to lose you, whether or not they are aware of it.

 

 

the law of attraction, energy, sub-consciousness, ESP, all that **** is real, whether you would like to believe it or not, and you do create a connection with your significant other (or former) in more ways that one.

 

 

 

 

and im glad you enjoy this thread ! keep on keepin' on brother!

[LifeGoesOnMan]

Mike: "Okay so what if I don't want to give up on her?"

Rob: "You don't call."

Mike: "But you said I don't call if I wanted to give up on her."

Rob: "Right."

Mike: "So I don't call either way?"

Rob: "Right."

Mike: "So what's the difference?"

Rob: "There is no difference right now. See, Mike, the only difference between giving up and not giving up is if you take her back when she wants to come back. But you can't do anything to make her want to come back. In fact, you can only do stuff to make her not want to come back."

Mike: "So the only difference is if I forget about her or just pretend to forget about her?"

Rob: "Right."

Mike: "Well that sucks."

Rob: "Yeah, it sucks."

Mike: "So it's just like a retroactive decision, then? I mean I could, like, forget about her, and then when she comes back make like I just pretended to forget about her?"

Rob: "Right. Although probably more likely the opposite."

Mike: "What do you mean?"

Rob: "I mean at first you're going to pretend to forget about her, you'll not call her, I don't know, whatever...but then eventually, you really will forget about her."

Mike: "Well what if she comes back first?"

Rob: "Mmmm...see, that's the thing, is somehow they know not to come back until you really forget."

Mike: "There's the rub."

Rob: "There's the rub."

 

 

 

*clap clap clap*

[msms21]

you gotta kick the facebook stalking thing man..

 

 

I am a big believer in the law of attraction and in energy and even if you don't think you are, you are sending out clingy, desperate energy vibes to the universe and that is not good.

 

 

you only lose what you cling to.

 

 

and I bet you on some sub conscious level she knows you are doing that.

 

 

I challenge you to stop stalking her page for a month or so and see how different you will feel and don't be surprised if you see a change in the way she acts..

 

 

not saying she will come back but I will tell you she will feel the energy shift whether she knows it or not.

 

 

and there is always hope but only if you live your own life and stop worrying about hers.

 

Im trying to be in real NC since i read your comment, its very hard not to see her face again and im very curious about her life but i stop my self from doing anything and counting the days until ill reach one month as you say.

Yet deep down something on me dont really want to get over her, im scared of getting over her preeminently , i dont want to lose it all.. And every day i keep asking my self HOW THE F*** she have the power not contacting me ? Doesn't she miss me ? \:

[msms21]

Look guys im just high now and i need to truely know, if i did a critical mistake like i told my gf i love some one alse, do I need keep begging?

[Bumpin in My Trunk]

bro you just gave me chills lol the same exact thing happened to me, met a girl after the break up, was out to dinner with her and got a text from my ex as well (who was totally trying to manipulate me by sending me old pics of us together at a wedding and on vacation).

 

 

they always know when they are starting to lose you, whether or not they are aware of it.

 

 

the law of attraction, energy, sub-consciousness, ESP, all that **** is real, whether you would like to believe it or not, and you do create a connection with your significant other (or former) in more ways that one.

 

 

 

 

and im glad you enjoy this thread ! keep on keepin' on brother!

 

 

Damn, bruh. I'm starting to believe it a little bit. I was an LDR with ex. She left me for another LDR. I suffered so much. Around august and September I started to level out. It wasn't till September that I noticed she was unblocked on my Skype. I still don't know whether she did it or maybe it was a glitch, but one thing I saw was that they had deleted each other from fb. So maybe she did hack me to get my attention. Maybe she did sense she was losing me. Idk, its all too eery and convenient.

 

But its still stupid how they are. They come back when it doesn't matter to you anymore

[LifeGoesOnMan]

Look guys im just high now and i need to truely know, if i did a critical mistake like i told my gf i love some one alse, do I need keep begging?

 

 

 

 

*facepalm* you never ever ever ever beg as the dumpee, even if you hooked up with someone else after, you've done nothing wrong!

 

 

re-read the whole damn thread!

[Dopefish333]

Me and my ex were together for 5 years. We lived together for the last year. Our breakup was mutual for the most part. It happened 3 months ago. I did no begging, no pleading, no random calls, I gave her a lot of space. We broke up because things did get boring..predictable. I did neglect her a little too, she lost interest. It was both our faults and we needed some time to step back from each other. The first month we talked a little here and there (big mistake) I went NC for the following month, (the entire month we didn't talk, she didn't contact me because she thought I was mad at her and she was afraid to contact me, i did run into her a couple times and she seemed really depressed) The second month I initiated contact and she was happy to hear from me wishing me all the best. I haven't been contacting her unless she does. This past month (3rd month since BU) she has been wanting to hang out almost every weekend. Going out to dinner, movies ect. She isn't dating anyone, neither am I. Things are NOT moving forward at all, I have tried to make some moves on her and she takes it in..but we just end up hugging and saying our goodbyes after we finish hanging out.

 

 

Its fracking hard. She's not the type to go after men, sleep with anyone, she's really reserved. She will brush people off like crazy. She gives me all these hints that she hasn't done anything with anyone. I have NOT asked. I feel like even though I'm playing this as smooth as i can, things still arnt going to move forward unless I go NC. We get along GREAT when we are together. I don't do favors for her, or be really nice and sweet, I just act the same old me, but i still think this is hurting my chances.

 

 

I know if i go NC she will want to know what's up, i don't know how to plan this, she knows that i want to reconcile and that i have improved myself for the better.

 

 

I want to try NC out and see how she reacts (i know she's going to wonder WTF is going on here)

 

 

Again, i give her a lot of space and don't contact her unless she does to me. The texts are short and to the point too. So I'm not messing up there.

 

 

What do?

[SpringOwl]

My boyfriend of 30 years ago contacted me.

 

we dated for five years back in the 80's

 

We broke up a few times but in the end, HE broke up with ME.

 

Final break, no begging or pleading as I recall. I just think we grew apart and there was an age difference.

 

He called me on my 30th birthday. He looked up my mom and found my number. We were both married. I was miserable in my marriage but I did not tell him that. He stated he was happily married and that was that.

 

He called me on my 40th birthday. Same scenario as the 30th.

 

He friended me on FB in 2011 and was happily married - just wanted to say hi.

 

I never once initiated contact with this man but remained cordial.

 

In 2013, he separated with his wife. She moved out and he is living alone. He does not call me regularly but texts me once every month or two.

 

He brings up benign memories of our past but never indicates an interest. He's always just been friendly. I am now divorced too after a long and unhappy marriage.

 

I love my first love with all my heart but it will not be right for the two of us to ever be together. I understand the reality but sometimes the fantasy is nice.

 

He must have thought about me over the years and he must have good memories. I'm sure he loved his wife.

 

I still want him to admit to me that I was the best girlfriend he ever had. It's so juvenile. Half my life is over, we dated in our teens, went our seperate ways but I still want him to tell me how great I was. Yearly phone calls are not enough.

 

Why is my thinking so twisted?

 

He will find a new love and get married again and I'm okay with that. He is my friend and that is all we will ever be. I do get a small satisfaction when he calls or texts me, even though I know it most likely feeds his own ego. It will not be good with me until he admits I was good and was the love of his life.

 

Twisted!!

[Yasuandio]

And every day i keep asking my self HOW THE F*** she have the power not contacting me ? Doesn't she miss me ? \:

 

It will take some time, mmms21, but you will stop wanting her her so badly, and thinking so much about her, eventially. That point comes even after a 26 year marriage, and some 32 years together (probably more than your lifetime). But this question you have persists, even in my case, after four years separation, a long protracted divorce (he streched it out thru noncooperation), and, here, at this point, no contact (direct contact, that is), since the final decree in September, 2012.

 

A complete refusal to speak to me.

 

A complete refusal to compy with the some paperwork the Judge ordered - to sign homes over to me. The property taxes he was supposed to pay, over $3000, i had to put on my credit card so it would go on credit report.

 

Therefore, this is a very interesting question, to me, also. I dont wish to go into Court for Contempt. But I bang my head agaist the wall, over and over, trying to achieve co-operation, when issues arrise with the homes, and the fact, I cannot receive correspondence, nor even my refund checks on escroe. Evrrything goes to him. He even endorsed and cashed my escrow check, with FULL knowledge, that it was arriving, and it was MY funds.

 

Einstein's theoretical defination of insanity: Keep doing the same thing expecting different results.

 

1. Ive asked over and over for my personal property Court ordered to me: No Contact.

 

2. Ive requested my homes be tranfered thru the Warrenty Deeds 250 times at least, even paid a second attorney to write up new current documents and send: No Contact.

 

3. I asked my checks for escrow funds be forwarded to me, he was appraised ahead of time they would be arriving. The mortgage compsny assured me that they were sent. I made a dozen or more inquires regarding my ckecks to yhe tune of $1700. No Contact.

 

4. I express concern that he had cashed my check, that this action could be problematic. No Contact.

 

Now, we come to the, what I refer to as, "Indirct-Contact to Enable Further No Contact." (Otherwise known as ICNC). This seems to occur when I throw up my hands and say to myself, the heck with it. I cannot afford an attorney. I cannot deal with litaigation. I have Bi-Polar 2 Disorder, and am not well, stress agravates this condition. I have other fish to fry, two homes to manage, one is a retal. The other has a number of maintenance issues that are stressing me out. I owe my attorey $120,000. One daym she might come after me, I live in fear, I have to get my act together. The last thing I need is BS aggravation from ex. So, when a problem arises, I enitally raise hell for awhilem then give up.

 

A few eeeks or months go by, and I am completely used to and accect the end of relationship. No contact is a way of life since the divorce, and really, some years during the separation, Im down with that.

 

oK. Here in when ICNC comes in. Everything is going just fine, I say screw it, let the theif keep the escrow, he is sending the alimony, and I am not starving. Forget it. Something weird occurred. It usually is something I receive in the mail. Such as a credit card and pin number, that was the case about 6 months ago (I thought this mailing was my new replacement AmEx card, as I am about due for one). I started to call in the phone number to i could trade out the cards, and noticed ex name was on the gold card. Dafuq? He has platuium, why he has gold card coming to my address? AmEx doesnt make those sort of mistakes. I called AmEx, and returned to sender. Then everything gets low for awhile.

 

Next, i just received a statement for ex, out of the blue. My AmEx is paperless, so I didn't fall for this again. Why an AmEx statement 5-6 months later? I dont think AmEx makes these kind of mistakes, especially when I have called them twice to rectify the matter. They take my concerns seriously, Ive been a member 25 years. So this time, rather than contact AmEx, I just sent the statement, unopened, to ex, but copied envelopes of what I mailed. We see what happens next month.

 

Next, Im opening. My personal email, and there is a Bank of Ametica survey for my recent visit to a different branch. I look closet, and it is addressed to ex business name. Dafuq? Why Bank sendinding ex business survey to my personal email address? Is this ICNC? A method to push my buttons? I dont like stuff messing with my bank. I already changed online account cause of identy theft. Does bank of America just accidentillay, after 6 years apart, suddenly, by accident, use my emsil for ex visit to a new branch for his business bank transaction? Or am I crazy?

 

Please note. I have described subtle ICNC conduct, as I perceive it. These little things should be viewed within the context of ongoing drive-bys, convienent visits to my area in convertable, with a girl, stuff I would never in my mind evrr concieve of doing. Plus, Im too easy to spot. I dont know how he has the nerve to do these things. And before I figured out that I had a distinct pattern of times and days that I shopped, I often saw him in the same shopping area when I was there. When liquoir laws changed, I shopped different days, that is when I figured out my pattern of shopping on Saturday and Tuesday to pick up my wine. Cause I always was freaked out once I got to the wine store, and talked it out with a buddy of mine there. One day my buddy at wine store mentioned how the stake outs seemed to have tappered down, and then we put 2 + 2 together.

 

Moral of Story:

 

NC - it is a good thing and gets your mind off stuff. But when it is used as a direct punishment or retaliation, it really messes with you.

 

I have had good faith intentions to separate our connections as husband and wife, as the judge ordered. I signed papers of my interest in the business over to him. I am legetimately trying to sever connections so I can do my business with homes (refinance, so I might have a lower mortgage, get money off equity to pay off attorney, etc.). He is the one that wanted divorce. No contact. No cooperation. I have no funding for a. Attorney. He is loaded with money, drives 2 Mercedis. He got the business.

 

ehen I shut up, and give up, then I geg this NCIC. And it ticks me off. Then, he gets reaction out of me. Just like clockwork. I just made a list of demands, I want my papers, and money by Tuesday, period. Im mad now! And I bet he just loves it! In that way, he controls me. This pattern is really problematic.

 

The worst part, THE MOST EMBARRASSING thing I will admit here and now, the ICNC, as I call it, it possibly a figment of my imagination, OR, my perception of the meaning of the ICNC is a pathetically skewed same old, same old. That being said, the ICNC, if it indeed exists, could be a method to retread the worn NC tire, that is pinning on the road, and not having the same effect.

 

NC stopped my hurting a long time ago. ICNC seems to have gotten the rubber back on the road again. Can the wise give feedback to my theory, please. Yas

Edited October 26, 2014 by Yasuandio

[tory1012]

It's funny for about the first 5-6 weeks I wanted them back and sat around waiting for my ex to want to reconcile. There were a couple of instances where he pretty much said he wanted to then it went back to the same old wishy washy behaviour.

 

I really didn't expect this to happen but I went on a unplanned spirit of the moment date with somebody else and I had a blast. He was really funny, willing to hang out with me and liked my company. A switch basically flipped in my head and I text my ex and told him I was done and I actually meant it. Once you actually mean it and have decided it then you feel a massive wave of relief. Heartbreak tests you man.

 

It's still early days for me and this other person and I am in no way filling my void with him I just decided that i was worth more and I'm not going to be anybodies doormat. I refuse! Even if he did contact me for reconciliation ...... that ship has f*cking sailed.

[flexie08]

I am having a somewhat difficult time with my ex. We aren't on bad terms or anything but he is so good at hiding his feelings that I just don't know what he is thinking. We still do keep in touch (3-4 days a week) and he usually does the initiating but sometimes it is me on a bad day. I'm not begging or acting needy or anything, but I just don't know how a guys mind works. Are they all the same? We dated for 8-9 months and he would always tell me how much he loved me but he got really distant because he has so much going on in his life. He is 33 and I am 22 but our ages never made much of a difference. He says we both need time to fix things in our lives, which we do. He always said he wants a future with me but sometimes he'll say he can't promise anything. I love him more than anything and I want him back. Is no contact the best way to go about this? And what if he contacts me? Do I just ignore him or will that make him think I am not interested anymore? I don't understand men

[tikay00]

It's funny for about the first 5-6 weeks I wanted them back and sat around waiting for my ex to want to reconcile. There were a couple of instances where he pretty much said he wanted to then it went back to the same old wishy washy behaviour.

 

I really didn't expect this to happen but I went on a unplanned spirit of the moment date with somebody else and I had a blast. He was really funny, willing to hang out with me and liked my company. A switch basically flipped in my head and I text my ex and told him I was done and I actually meant it. Once you actually mean it and have decided it then you feel a massive wave of relief. Heartbreak tests you man.

 

It's still early days for me and this other person and I am in no way filling my void with him I just decided that i was worth more and I'm not going to be anybodies doormat. I refuse! Even if he did contact me for reconciliation ...... that ship has f*cking sailed.

 

OK, did you just have to inspire the crap outta me tonight? Really???

[tikay00]

I am having a somewhat difficult time with my ex. We aren't on bad terms or anything but he is so good at hiding his feelings that I just don't know what he is thinking. We still do keep in touch (3-4 days a week) and he usually does the initiating but sometimes it is me on a bad day. I'm not begging or acting needy or anything, but I just don't know how a guys mind works. Are they all the same? We dated for 8-9 months and he would always tell me how much he loved me but he got really distant because he has so much going on in his life. He is 33 and I am 22 but our ages never made much of a difference. He says we both need time to fix things in our lives, which we do. He always said he wants a future with me but sometimes he'll say he can't promise anything. I love him more than anything and I want him back. Is no contact the best way to go about this? And what if he contacts me? Do I just ignore him or will that make him think I am not interested anymore? I don't understand men

 

Let me tell you from my own experience dumping a girl, and kind of doing the same thing. He got bored, and he's keeping you on the back burner in case he doesn't find HIS perfect girl.

 

You are a perfect girl to someone else. He's keeping you on the B team, because you're pretty, and if he can't find someone that's pretty, and meshes perfectly with him, at least he'll have a pretty wife. That's only if you're still around. My suggestion, don't stick around.

[flexie08]

Well there is a lot more to the story than what I have written. I posted a thread about it. I think he is possibly BPD or Bipolar, but even if he is not I still love him and want him back. He is going through a lot right now and he doesn't handle stress well. He has always been one to "get away" from the world when things get to be too much.