If you want them back.

[Nolan 93]

hey, at least she seemed to appreciate your time together and thanked you for treating her well.

 

 

never got any of that from my ex, and I was with her for 6.5 years! lol

 

 

letting go is a long, painful road, but once you reach the end of it, you'll realize life really does go on.

 

Yes she was very grateful that she met me, cause I gave her an experience her ex failed at on the first try. Even though he is fortunate enough to get a second chance, she knows it will not be the same. After all she is only 18, and I 21, we both still have our lives ahead of us.

 

If over time she came back and If I am not in a relationship, rekindling could be something I would consider. But she would have had to change for sure, but I am open to the idea.

 

Shady how you were with her for 6.5 years and got nothing back from her. Thats a shame, sometimes I wonder what runs through their minds. But its over and sadly we move on, but we learn from the relationship I know I have.

[kryptonide]

I read through it, the whole story sounds very dysfunctional and childish to be honest, then again, you two are only teenagers.

 

I wouldn't do anything different than what is [repeatedly] advised throughout this thread.

 

stick to no contact and live your life.

that's pretty much hard to do but i'm trying my best, and yes indeed it iz very childish too bad i'm not a child anymore... so stupid life so annoying..

[Jl321]

My ex broke up with me a month ago saying that we needed to be more independent and that this was her way of "fighting for us". The day after we broke up she left to her home country. I've been in NC for a month although I have checked Instagram a lot. I stopped posting stuff myself cause I just felt stupid and immature trying to show this fake persona of how happy I am. I'm on the verge of just deleting all my apps and disappearing completely. I don't even know if she's back home or not. I feel like crap since Valentine's Day is coming up. I keep hoping for her to contact me.

[erklat]

My ex broke up with me a month ago saying that we needed to be more independent and that this was her way of "fighting for us". The day after we broke up she left to her home country. I've been in NC for a month although I have checked Instagram a lot. I stopped posting stuff myself cause I just felt stupid and immature trying to show this fake persona of how happy I am. I'm on the verge of just deleting all my apps and disappearing completely. I don't even know if she's back home or not. I feel like crap since Valentine's Day is coming up. I keep hoping for her to contact me.

 

It will fade over with time. You will learn to do everything that you do

for yourself.

[Kermit007]

My ex broke up with me a month ago saying that we needed to be more independent and that this was her way of "fighting for us". The day after we broke up she left to her home country. I've been in NC for a month although I have checked Instagram a lot. I stopped posting stuff myself cause I just felt stupid and immature trying to show this fake persona of how happy I am. I'm on the verge of just deleting all my apps and disappearing completely. I don't even know if she's back home or not. I feel like crap since Valentine's Day is coming up. I keep hoping for her to contact me.

 

Ok and now the real reason you broke up..She went to her home country and didn't want the relationship to continue. Simple as that....Her explanation of being more independent and fighting was BS. She wanted to go home, and forget about you. Sorry man

[kryptonide]

so it's been almost 2 months since i started NC ( no Xmas texts,no happy new year sms nothing!) i totally stopped contact with her and 2 weeks ago i finally blocked her on social media, funny thing she hadn't contacted me at all in these 2 months ( 4 since BU) but a few(3-4) days ago she added me as friend on a site where we were playing a game togheder(got notified by email) , i never expected to hear from SM again.. but here she is after all this time giving a "spark" hwmm, till now she hadn't messaged me or anything, if anything moves i won't answer ! i have to say i don't even know why i started NC but it's simply the best and surest way to move on or in lesser case to get an ex back, Suddenly i feel more stronger and closer at getting over her mlel i feel like a huge part of my power has been given back to me :3 so my dear dumped fellas i suggest u do the same and go FULL NC and u'll hear from her again, especially if u treated her very well and told ya u we're the best bf she ever had!

[hurts2death]

in a short

3-4 years half lived together.

girlf asks to break up in order to live more things. gigs

i accept and since i make sure that the reason is her not knowing what she want i politely wish her the best and fade slowly from this cosmos.

i go nc.

since then its now 18 months nc.

 

its been like 170 tryings of her to contact. byt she broke this christmas and send me an email - this mail might be anymore legit i was just wanted to see hy r doing.

 

i ignore and after some weeks i renew mails avatar with a new pic of me.

 

now i dont know what to do. her current life doesnt seem so wow so she might be bored and emailed me. but i will stay nc. for me. and for her to break 100%

[Nolan 93]

i feel like a huge part of my power has been given back to me :3 so my dear dumped fellas i suggest u do the same and go FULL NC and u'll hear from her again, especially if u treated her very well and told ya u we're the best bf she ever had!

 

I treated her the best that I could, and she said I was the best boyfriend any girl could have. But left me for the ex after 11 months dam near. NC is what I am doing, one day if they break up she will probably hit me up. Or snoop on social media haha. Im healing and living my life.

[kryptonide]

I treated her the best that I could, and she said I was the best boyfriend any girl could have. But left me for the ex after 11 months dam near. NC is what I am doing, one day if they break up she will probably hit me up. Or snoop on social media haha. Im healing and living my life.

i know it's hard... believe me i know it's hard but there's nothing else we can do... i just pray everything will turn up fine eventually, and on a way or another it will, must have faith in good ^_^

[kryptonide]

now i dont know what to do. her current life doesnt seem so wow so she might be bored and emailed me. but i will stay nc. for me. and for her to break 100%

 

 

what do you mean for her to break 100 %?

[Nolan 93]

i know it's hard... believe me i know it's hard but there's nothing else we can do... i just pray everything will turn up fine eventually, and on a way or another it will, must have faith in good ^_^

 

I've come to accept that its over and It wasn't my fault ha. So I can smile and say I've done all I could ha

[hurts2death]

break her ego. but still i dont know if i really would want to be with her.

what do you mean for her to break 100 %?

[erklat]

break her ego. but still i dont know if i really would want to be with her.

 

Hey dude, I loved reading your posts iirc.

 

Nice to see how far you healed and how much

fortitude you have resisting every dumpees wet

dream.

 

I feel the same. The idea of loving her just gives me

cringes these days.

[xpaperxcutx]

This is the second time my ex has left me, only this time he had left me for another woman. I did beg and plead and he said he is completely loyal to her because she has all the qualities he wants in a woman. He hates me because I mistreated him in the past and he got sick of my clinginess and refusal to change my behavior.

 

 

 

 

I have no choice except to go NC. He says he's at a happy stage in his life. I'm half indifferent (because i'm burned out from crying) and upset ( because this girl could be the next girl he marries).

 

 

 

 

What can I do except to focus on myself?

[hurts2death]

do we really want them back? or we just need an ego boost cause the nc was too harsh?

 

just saying

[Hello201]

So what do you do when they break it off with you to find out if they can stand alone before they can stand together .... Then you find out they are seeing someone else

 

Ahhh hold on go NC

Their loss not mine ....

Gigs works both ways as it shows they were never truly committed to you

[kryptonide]

she blocked me after i unblocked her last week! why did she waited so long to block me? she could've done it long time ago not after i unblock her?! what is she trying to prove? her revenge of ignoring me as i ignored her? ... silly mind-games , i wouldn't contacted her either way so .. what ya guys think? as she cried likealot after the BU might it be that she hasn't completely moved on? is she doubting her decision sometimes? i do not know ! but i know she has some reason behind this , at the same time she added me as friend again on another site we used to use togheder, hmm so much child play from an emotional imature teen..

[msms21]

I had to say one thing,

4 months ago i decided to go with this post. I guess i thought that its better to listen to a man that been there before i did.

And i have to say, you were right.

She came to ask me back. So i want to thank you about it first, without this post i dont now how i was acting.

Honestley im confused right now because it suprised me we broke up 6 months ago and she had a rebound for 4 and a half months, i was broken.

She called and asked my forgiveness, said she will never love some one like me and and if she could take it back she was taking it.

Than she said she loves me and she want to go back together.

I always dreamed about this moment but now im scard and confused and dont know how to deal with it.

 

She left me badly broken, said hurting things, i still have feelings but a bit mixed and unsure of my ability to forgive her .

 

Any advices?

[LifeGoesOnMan]

I had to say one thing,

4 months ago i decided to go with this post. I guess i thought that its better to listen to a man that been there before i did.

And i have to say, you were right.

She came to ask me back. So i want to thank you about it first, without this post i dont now how i was acting.

Honestley im confused right now because it suprised me we broke up 6 months ago and she had a rebound for 4 and a half months, i was broken.

She called and asked my forgiveness, said she will never love some one like me and and if she could take it back she was taking it.

Than she said she loves me and she want to go back together.

I always dreamed about this moment but now im scard and confused and dont know how to deal with it.

 

She left me badly broken, said hurting things, i still have feelings but a bit mixed and unsure of my ability to forgive her .

 

Any advices?

 

I am glad to hear that you listened to the advice given, it is all real stuff taken from experience and as you can see, it works.

 

In regard to your question, you are in the driver's seat now, take it slow, super duper slow , live in each moment, you are starting over so you have to approach it that way.

 

keep your expectations low and let things develop , let her prove that its for real.

 

I would meet up with her, talk with her in person and see how genuine she really is. Dont make any rash decisions either

Edited February 27, 2015 by LifeGoesOnMan

[KBarletta]

Than she said she loves me and she want to go back together.

I always dreamed about this moment but now im scard and confused and dont know how to deal with it.

 

She left me badly broken, said hurting things, i still have feelings but a bit mixed and unsure of my ability to forgive her .

 

Any advices?

 

I agree that you need to take it as slowly as possible, and be very careful not to get in too deep too fast. Pay very close attention to what she DOES, not what she says. And if these two things don't match up, that's a major red flag.

 

There's a chance that her remorse and desire to reconcile is genuine, and there is also a chance that Plan A fell through and she's now on Plan B. Be careful.

[msms21]

I agree that you need to take it as slowly as possible, and be very careful not to get in too deep too fast. Pay very close attention to what she DOES, not what she says. And if these two things don't match up, that's a major red flag.

 

There's a chance that her remorse and desire to reconcile is genuine, and there is also a chance that Plan A fell through and she's now on Plan B. Be careful.

 

Thanks for your advice,

You said pay attention for what she does, what she's really suppose to do and act to prove me that this is for real?

[KBarletta]

Thanks for your advice,

You said pay attention for what she does, what she's really suppose to do and act to prove me that this is for real?

 

Well, you've told us what she is saying: She says she wants you back and will never love anyone like she loves you.

 

My questions are: What is she doing to back up those words? Has she changed her behavior since the breakup? Has she shown signs that the changes she has made since the initial breakup are permanent? What has she done to prove this?

[romanticmoron]

While I agree this thread is correct for the vast majority of dumpees I dont think it works in a case where the cause of the breakup is solely 100% a loss of sexual attraction due to being in a "funk" or depression.

 

Me and my ex (broke up at the very start of this year after a 4 year relationship) were high school sweethearts and got along perfectly. Our personalities were perfectly compatible for two lovers. We both spent the vast majority of our free time together and yet we almost NEVER fought, and the few fights we had were mild and over quickly. We saw eye to eye on everything and valued each other's company more than anyone else's for the entirety of the relationship.

 

This remained true until I got into a funk and basically stopped displaying any masculinity and stopped being myself. I just became an unmotivated, weak loser and as you could expect she lost her attraction for me and moved on to someone else. We didn't even fight at the end. I got pretty emotional because I was still in my depressed, weak state but our last talk was on pretty civil terms.

 

2 months later I finally have a job, a social life, I have put on 13 pounds of muscle (had been really skinny), got a completely new wardrobe that looks much nicer (all my old stuff was left over from highschool) and I finally know what I want to do with my life. I am also graduating from my prestigious school at the end of the year. Basically, I know 100% she would be attracted to me now. I am WAY more attractive than I was when she first fell for me and went crazy about me.

 

How the hell do I show her this new me with no contact? Maybe eventually she would contact me and see it for herself but unfortunately Ive learned she is tentatively planning on moving far away by the end of the year.

 

I realize that no contact helps me heal and move on, but if my goal is reconciliation (because seriously. we were prefect for each other. I just became a loser and took her for granted.) then no contact seems like a terrible idea. Basically she will just move away and always think of me as I was when I was depressed and super unattractive.

 

When I am thinking logically I know for a fact that she is the one for me. I am a weird guy and know what I want. It is her, whether I am being emotional or logical it is always her.

[Mi7522]

While I agree this thread is correct for the vast majority of dumpees I dont think it works in a case where the cause of the breakup is solely 100% a loss of sexual attraction due to being in a "funk" or depression.

 

Me and my ex (broke up at the very start of this year after a 4 year relationship) were high school sweethearts and got along perfectly. Our personalities were perfectly compatible for two lovers. We both spent the vast majority of our free time together and yet we almost NEVER fought, and the few fights we had were mild and over quickly. We saw eye to eye on everything and valued each other's company more than anyone else's for the entirety of the relationship.

 

This remained true until I got into a funk and basically stopped displaying any masculinity and stopped being myself. I just became an unmotivated, weak loser and as you could expect she lost her attraction for me and moved on to someone else. We didn't even fight at the end. I got pretty emotional because I was still in my depressed, weak state but our last talk was on pretty civil terms.

 

2 months later I finally have a job, a social life, I have put on 13 pounds of muscle (had been really skinny), got a completely new wardrobe that looks much nicer (all my old stuff was left over from highschool) and I finally know what I want to do with my life. I am also graduating from my prestigious school at the end of the year. Basically, I know 100% she would be attracted to me now. I am WAY more attractive than I was when she first fell for me and went crazy about me.

 

How the hell do I show her this new me with no contact? Maybe eventually she would contact me and see it for herself but unfortunately Ive learned she is tentatively planning on moving far away by the end of the year.

 

I realize that no contact helps me heal and move on, but if my goal is reconciliation (because seriously. we were prefect for each other. I just became a loser and took her for granted.) then no contact seems like a terrible idea. Basically she will just move away and always think of me as I was when I was depressed and super unattractive.

 

When I am thinking logically I know for a fact that she is the one for me. I am a weird guy and know what I want. It is her, whether I am being emotional or logical it is always her.

 

When you work on yourself to be a better person and are doing it for yourself, that's when she'll notice. You have to realise that she ended the relationship. She doesn't want you. Tough to deal with but what's done is done. Now it's all about you. Do it for yourself not her

[romanticmoron]

I am doing it for myself. I know I want to be stronger, so I am working out. I know I want to have money so I have gotten a job. Etc etc.

 

Now I am comfortable with myself and know that I want her. And I want to do whatever gives me the best chance of accomplishing that, just like everything else. And you aren't exactly correct. Yes, she didn't want the depressed me. But I am fairly certain she would want the new me, she just has to see him. I think its very rare to undergo drastic chances in only a couple of months after a breakup, but somehow I managed it. I am not the person I was when she stopped wanting me.