OhioGuy7 Posted January 23, 2016 Share Posted January 23, 2016 Dude work on your selfesteem. Your in the bargaining phase where you are taking all the blame. Guess what - she's the one to blame too. It takes two to tango. Once you regain your sense of self worth you will see that clearly. Don't contact her under no circumstances and don't smother your people with that because they are telling you what you want to hear. Come here to went instead. I will come on here for sure! I dont think they are just telling me what i want to hear, because i do think they know her well, and a couple of my friends have been through the same situation as i was.. They just took what was said between us and gave me advice from there.. Are they right or wrong? I dont have an answer because no one can tell the future so you never know what will happen.. Link to post Share on other sites
OhioGuy7 Posted January 23, 2016 Share Posted January 23, 2016 Forget all those nonsense. Those both threads just come down to one thing, and one thing only: get yourself back by focusing on you instead of focusing on your ex. You need this period of calming down, believe me. It's a natural reaction to look up all sorts of things like implementing NC and the LOA. But what you should do is live your life for six months at least. Just be you again, find yourself again. Your ex will show up, because they always do like 80 percent of the time. I did not believe my ex would ever contact me again, but behold after one month of me going NC there was message one. The following month there was number two, and yes, you guessed it, at month three came the third time she initiated contact. She even added me back on FB even though she deleted me and I told her not to do it. She disrespected my boundaries there so I blocked her. There I was, the guy who did not have the guts to walk away and leave his ex alone. I became the guy that got fed up with his ex and experiencing the pain over and over again with every text she send me. And she contacted me again after I blocked her. That was 4 weeks ago, but she'll be back. So will yours so stop worrying, because maybe when she contacts you, you might be in a better place and not even worry about her anymore. Sounds strange, even I could not believe that I would end up in that place. But you will. Keep strong buddy. I agree that they come around at some point for the most part! i have seen 3 of my good friends go through it and months go by and lone and behold their exes reach out to them! I had a friend that in the Army.. a few years ago in high school he cheated on his girlfriend, they were broken up for a few years, they barely talked but out of the blue, they began talking again, he went on deployment for a few months and i guess they talked alot while he was gone, he got back home a few days ago, and they have pictures on facebook and instagram of them. I dont know if they are back to BF and GF but they are pretty darn close!! So i agree they for the most part come back around at some point... I havent heard from my ex yet but i reached out to her the first four months trying to get her back and doing all the wrong things.. Im a month NC not the longest ive went not talking to her but we will see if this holds true whether or not i hear from her again?.. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Jacob1939 Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 (edited) So , just wanted to give a bit of an update.Today marks the 21st day (or 3 weeks) since i last spoke to my ex and basically told her i dont want to be friends, and that if she ever changed her mind she knew where to find me.I'm not writing this to complain about how she hasn't called or whatever, i'm moving on.As i told her , i'll move on with my life , i just made a last attempt to let her back in mine(more details in my "can i get her back " thread).Anyways , 21 days later , feeling a bit better, i know it's still fresh and it's still early in NC.Had some mood swings , where at one time i'm cool or even happy , the next i'm a bit sad , nostalgic.I miss her , but i know i have to move on with my life.If she so chooses to come back , she'll have to earn her place , but even if that doesn't happen i know that i loved her deeply and i always had her best interests at heart during the relationship , so i'm fairly certain i was good to her.I wish her all the best.Well C'est la vie , i guess.Here's to hope that things will get better with or without her! Edited January 25, 2016 by Jacob1939 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LifeGoesOnMan Posted July 19, 2016 Author Share Posted July 19, 2016 (edited) hi friends, just an fyi and check-in, my ex added me and messaged me on IG today, its been over a year since we've last spoke and she dated someone else in the meantime as have I as well. I will tell you just by seeing her face again I know the power she once had over me has long dissipated even tho it was a bit of shock to see that she had added me after so long and assuming we both had moved on, my point is whatever is meant to be will be although it may appear over, over & over lol just live life and do what makes you happy, that's all there is to it. you cannot let another person define your happiness in life, ever. Edited July 19, 2016 by LifeGoesOnMan 1 Link to post Share on other sites
tart6245 Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 After about a month of no contact, my ex agreed to meet me next month to talk. She said she didn't want me to think that she was going to jump back into a relationship with me, and I told her our old relationship was dead and any future we have is going to start from scratch, which she agreed with me on. I have no idea where we will go from here, but she knows I'm making changes in my life and I hope we are able to make it back together in the next few months. I think we'll be incredibly strong if we do. Link to post Share on other sites
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