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Trust Issues or am i paranoid?


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i have been dating this girl for about 9 months now we both love each other, we have known each other for years we didn't really hang out or anything but met every now and then, we are both were attracted to each other but no one has done anything about it till one day she dared me to kiss her (as a joke because i told her don't dare me i will do anything) so i did things got really hot and we ended up in bed together, up to that point it wasn't an actual relation ship it was merely a "hookup"it wen on for like a month or so till i decided to take it a step further and move on to an actual relationship, she refused and her reply was she needs to take care of things first (as in she is dating some guy but things weren't working out great for them and no they weren't exactly in a relation hip) However we both couldn't handle not being with each other and we ended up in a relationship and i was happy with things till i found out that the guy she was dating was an older guy and she really needed a "sugar daddy" she had some financial issues and he offered it wasn't money for sex but more like i will buy you stuff just come hangout with me(i know this for a fact accidentally stumbled upon her messages when she wanted me to fix something in her phone) i kept quite about it and eventually she told me about it but she didn't tell me the entire truth as i know it (up to this point we weren't in a relation ship but merely made out every now and then) eventually she fell for me after going out on a few dates and what not and we both decided to start a relationship together she even claim that she broke up with this older guy and i did believe her for a while till i saw her messaging him it was there wasn't anything shady about the message but she now deletes all her messages about him (before after we would make out she would be sitting in front of her laptop and would read her email and i could see it there was a lot of messages from him now however they are gone she would reply and then delete it. should i be worried or what?

Edited by yk_shz
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Sounds pretty damn shady to me. Could put a keylogger on her laptop/phone to find out more.

 

i really wouldn't like to resort to that, and besides here is something i found out about her. she created this fantasy like world (its a complete lie tho) where she does and goes to places that isn't true because she has been with me for the time where she allegedly went out and traveled outside the country...so even if i do that i am not sure what to believe in anymore

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She sounds like a bit of a 'Walter Mitty' character.

Boredom with her own life, and a poor self-esteem....

I'm sorry, but if she's an habitual liar AND she's seeing this older guy for tit-for-tat things...

 

I'm sorry.....

Why are you with her, again...?

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She sounds like a bit of a 'Walter Mitty' character.

Boredom with her own life, and a poor self-esteem....

I'm sorry, but if she's an habitual liar AND she's seeing this older guy for tit-for-tat things...

 

I'm sorry.....

Why are you with her, again...?

 

i have known here for a few years i know she is not that kind of a person she is going through some difficult time right now and that is why she did what she did to be honest tho i don't care that she is lying to other people as long as she isn't lying to me about anything really important i don't mind it. only reason why i am with her is because i have known her for a while and been having a crush on her for literally 3-4 years and i don't want to feel like this is the end of the road yet

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Oh good lord....Ok, carry on.

But this will end in tears....

She doesn't really care who she lies to.

If she's lying to others, I hate to say it, but there's no reason why you should be an exception....

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Oh good lord....Ok, carry on.

But this will end in tears....

She doesn't really care who she lies to.

If she's lying to others, I hate to say it, but there's no reason why you should be an exception....

 

sad that this is actually really true..i just don't know i really wanna give her a chance i haven't cared for anyone like this in a long time..god help me

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God won't help you.

You're on your own with this one.

And that's exactly as it should be.

On your own.

 

Drop this, don't be so desperate and needy.

Put your big man pants on, and do the right thing for yourself.

 

You really want to prolong a liaison with a known and confirmed liar - who is in all probability sleeping with another man?

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i have known here for a few years i know she is not that kind of a person she is going through some difficult time right now and that is why she did what she did to be honest tho i don't care that she is lying to other people as long as she isn't lying to me about anything really important i don't mind it. only reason why i am with her is because i have known her for a while and been having a crush on her for literally 3-4 years and i don't want to feel like this is the end of the road yet

 

Don't fool yourself, OP. If she creates elaborate lies with other people, there's really no reason she wouldn't do it to you, too. People like her (and yes, she is that kind of person!) lie for personal gain and usually have an easy time doing so.

 

Be careful not to make excuses for her and justify her actions. People who "aren't like that" don't do those things in the first place. You're discovering her true colours now. Don't ignore them.

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God won't help you.

You're on your own with this one.

And that's exactly as it should be.

On your own.

 

Drop this, don't be so desperate and needy.

Put your big man pants on, and do the right thing for yourself.

 

You really want to prolong a liaison with a known and confirmed liar - who is in all probability sleeping with another man?

 

 

Don't fool yourself, OP. If she creates elaborate lies with other people, there's really no reason she wouldn't do it to you, too. People like her (and yes, she is that kind of person!) lie for personal gain and usually have an easy time doing so.

 

Be careful not to make excuses for her and justify her actions. People who "aren't like that" don't do those things in the first place. You're discovering her true colours now. Don't ignore them.

 

I am know you both are right and i should follow your advice,I am gonna talk to her today and tell her thew whole truth this will suck, i will try and see if we can work things out if not i guess its over...and by the way she did those things when we weren't officially together and i know she didn't sleep with anyone at least not yet so far she just talks and keeps me out of the pictures which is what got me here in the first place.

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