SuperFantastico Posted January 21, 2005 Share Posted January 21, 2005 But the thing is i know she is no good for me. And im stuck as the 'friend' which dosnt work for me. So i opted out. I am finding the resolve difficult to maintain. I remember the good times and all that crap. Even though i know, talking to her would just make me miserable eventually. So please, shout slogans at me and any advice on how to deal with lingering feelings would be appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
matt10020 Posted January 22, 2005 Share Posted January 22, 2005 NC!! NC!!! NC!!!NC!!!NC!!!NC!!!. It dosent work i'm sorry to say cos u always forget the crap and remember the good times. U either have to be strong and try and cope or go back and risk being miserable again. Is there any chance u could just be friends or are your feelings to strong for that. If the answer is yes i would try and stay away as u said it will mess u up again. The frustration of not being able to have some one u want badly is a killer. Not the best advice i'm afraid but i no how u feel i'm in the same bloody boat!!!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
upsetnhurt Posted January 22, 2005 Share Posted January 22, 2005 Going through the same crap here too yet there is one thing that typically gets me by. GET ANGRY!!!!! Realize that she chose to be without you and she is the one who feels that you are not worth having as a bf. That has to make you angry and motivated enough to want to show her just how easy it is for you to move on. There is no winning her back actions here.....it is up to her and the more you have dealings with her the more she realizes that she is getting exactly what she wants....a friend. Let her wonder what your up to for sometime and if she cares she will come to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SuperFantastico Posted January 23, 2005 Author Share Posted January 23, 2005 Thanks guys. I am feeling much better today. Its worse when you are all by yourself all day. I cant be friends with her anymore. My feelings are split both ways and still very strong. On one hand, part of me is still completely in love with her, and has been for 10 years . On the other hand there is the logical part of me that knows that even if she did want to go out with me, i couldnt solely for the fact that we just bugg the hell out of each other. Oh and for the fact that she had 10 years to get to gether with me and to choose now, after finally starting to get over her is just plain insulting. And there are lots of screwed up things that have happened between us over the years. Which i will not write about because a) theres too many, and b) i forget alot of them I do have a trip to cuba to look forward to, and gettting in shape for the trip will keep me occupied for 3 weeks. At that point it will almost be 2 months since i last had any contact with her. So hopefully i will feel much better(and perhaps with the help of some sexy ladies on vacation :) ) Link to post Share on other sites
matt10020 Posted January 24, 2005 Share Posted January 24, 2005 wow 10 years!! i know you've said that u could wright a novel on it, but in those 10 years have u never been close to becoming her boyfriend? has she been with someone for those 10 years or does she not know how u feel? I only ask cos although i'm trying 2 getting on with my life and only speaking to her when i have to at uni but there's still a part of me thats hopes one day we could get it together. And yes even after all the **** she's put me though (love is blind, deaf and dumb!!) i still want her. R u hoping that with NC she'll come back to u and if she did would u accept her? If u don't want to go into it i'll understand i'm just curious how you've delt with it for that long its only been a few months for me and i'm close to losing my mind!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author SuperFantastico Posted January 25, 2005 Author Share Posted January 25, 2005 Well I have lost my mind on many occasions over the years. Her first boyfriend was for 3 years. And i fell in love with her about 9 months before she got together with him. Since then shes had lots of boyfriends to my 0 girlfriends(i still get some action, just not from her ) Hope is my problem. Because there is always(remember 10 years) that little voice in the back of my mind saying 'well maybe this time...' or 'if i try just a bit harder'. But if they dont want to go out with you within the first year, you are officially a friend. http://www.joelogon.com/platonic/ This site rocks I have finally realised that i cant be just friends anymore. My feelings never really go away and if i hang around with her a few days in a row, they become just as strong as always. And being the 'best friend' is the worst because she comes to me to complain about her boyfriend, or tell me all about him The final straw was just before christmas of 2004, when she decided to take off with him to mexico(only guy shes ever gone there with was me, shes met guys there, just never taken one with her) And I got super jelouse!?!? I told her she didnt have to phone me on christmas, but she could email me. So I got home every day after work and stayed at my computer WAITING for an email. I would check and recheck even though hotmail has the little popup. And it drove me increasingly jelouse and insane. And then it hit me. Why am i doing this. I CANNOT be just friends with her. 10 years and i still am like a jelouse teen in highschool. I mean, im a man. I have a hard job, all sorts of problems in my life. But SHE is the only one that can completely ruin me!? I cant explain all the crap i've gone through over the years, depression, financial ruin, injuries ect. ect. And that i have been able to get over fairly easily in comparison. But her, she has a backstage pass to my feelings. One wrong word from her can open me up more than years of hardships could ever hope to. So i opted out. No sense in putting my life on hold anymore. Its not going to happen between us. And at the same time, i realise she is my cryptonite. So i cant be just friends with her. She drives me bonkers If she came to me tommorow and declared her undying love for me, i would say no. Simply for the fact that doing that would be to turn a blind eye to the pain she has caused me. She's known i have been in love with her for about 7 years or so. And instead of going out with me who treated her awsome, she went for the guys who were A) Insane or B) treated her like crap. And im sorry, if she cant respect herself enough to see the value in a good guy versus a bad one, then shes not for me. I'm worth more than that. Instead she thinks of me as a convienience instead of a friend anyways. When she has a boyfriend she never is available. When suddenly shes single, guess who calls me. And she only calls me if she wants something(like to go out or somethign) Never to say, hey whats going on. This dog has gotten out of his cage, and its time to hump some leggs P.S. One other annoying thing she did was to get increasingly flirty with me when she didnt have a boyfriend to the point where i would think we were just about to get together, then she would suddenly get distant and get a boyfriend !? It has happened about 10 times i think. It drove me crazy!? Last time was in october i belive. I dont know if she was tryign to pyche herself into the idea of going out with me then thought 'wait i'll ruin our friendship' or if she is just pure evil in carnate!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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