Unblocking on FB is nothing but has my mind racing

[shorty1988m]

About a month ago was the last time I contacted my ex. I kept reaching out and she kept shutting me down. After the last attempt I asked her to block me as I was having trouble letting go. She said some nasty stuff and then blocked me. It was great. I started moving on and things were going great. Admittedly I had typed her name into search a couple of times to see if I was still blocked. I was.

 

Tonight I was browsing Facebook which I actually don't do much anymore and seen a comment on a mutual friends status. It was her and when I checked I was unblocked. So now my minds racing over why? Even though I know it's not important.

 

Possible reasons why?!

 

-she's showing a friend what I looked like or something along those lines.

-she wants me to see she's doing ok or some thing like that.

-she's curious to see if I've moved on (interestingly my cover photo has changed and has comments from a girl I've been talking to. Atleast it shows I'm moving on)

-she's making some sort of headway into opening a dialogue again. Doubt it though.

 

It's actually done me really good to see an unblock. For the time since the break up I had some issues thinking of not being good enough and was mostly worried that she wasn't been affected by the BU. it's given me a little pick up to know that one way or another I'm still on her mind.

 

Anybody had anything like this happen??

[Kevin_D]

She's probably just curious.

 

There is a solution. Block her. Now. Otherwise you'll see something you won't like sooner or later.

[shorty1988m]

To be honest it seems childish but I don't want to block her now as she will know I've noticed this and she might get what she wants from that.

 

I'll keep up with no contact. I have no desire to talk to her or look at her profile. Like I said above I don't really use fb anymore and it was total chance I discovered the unblock.

 

Luckily her curiousness will get her nowhere as I hardly ever change profile pictures or cover photos and the one she can see has a conversation between me and another girl.

[Kevin_D]

To be honest it seems childish but I don't want to block her now as she will know I've noticed this and she might get what she wants from that.

 

I'll keep up with no contact. I have no desire to talk to her or look at her profile. Like I said above I don't really use fb anymore and it was total chance I discovered the unblock.

 

Luckily her curiousness will get her nowhere as I hardly ever change profile pictures or cover photos and the one she can see has a conversation between me and another girl.

 

No, you're giving her what she wants right now: Power. You avoid doing something that might speed up the healing process just because you care about what she thinks. Don't give her that power.

 

One day she will upload a profile picture with her kissing another guy. She will write flirty comments to your friends. And guess what, she might even do this just to mess with you. And trust me, you'll be back at square one.

 

By blocking her, you're taking away her power. No matter how hard she tries, she won't be able to hurt you. And when rumours start spreading about you dating a new girl, it will drive her crazy to not be able to view your profile. She will probably have thoughts such as "Is he really moving on?", "Is the new girl cuter than me?", "Does he like her more than he liked me?" etc.

 

Trust me on this one. I did exactly like you first. I never visited her profile, but she always find new ways to mess with my head. It feels so much better now when she's completely gone.

[d0cholliday]

No, you're giving her what she wants right now: Power. You avoid doing something that might speed up the healing process just because you care about what she thinks. Don't give her that power.

 

One day she will upload a profile picture with her kissing another guy. She will write flirty comments to your friends. And guess what, she might even do this just to mess with you. And trust me, you'll be back at square one.

 

By blocking her, you're taking away her power. No matter how hard she tries, she won't be able to hurt you. And when rumours start spreading about you dating a new girl, it will drive her crazy to not be able to view your profile. She will probably have thoughts such as "Is he really moving on?", "Is the new girl cuter than me?", "Does he like her more than he liked me?" etc.

 

Trust me on this one. I did exactly like you first. I never visited her profile, but she always find new ways to mess with my head. It feels so much better now when she's completely gone.

 

Like Kevin D said, block her, blocking on FB did wonders for me, it lasted for few days tough, cause she came knocking on my door day after blocking and not answering her calls. She realised that I'm trying to move on, and she came to stop me.... Now she is still messing up with my head, but I keep LC, and we had a breaktrough, and now slowly starting to rebuild thrust and possibly reconcile. I mean, she didn't come and tell me I want back, but thats tied to her personality and her familly situation. I've gained a lot of power, and now I can control myself, I realised that, altough I'm not in NC I am becoming more and more indifferent towards her, and also when she asks me to meet up, If I can I usually meet up with her, but I also rejected her few times, and when I do reject her, she tries another day, like for an example yesterday, day before yesterday she called me for launch, I denied, so she called yesterday, I went, have some coffee, was cool, nice, polite, but kinda a cold, I admit I faked the cold part, but eventually she is coming with me today to a music shop, since I told her I need to buy one part for guitar, which I'm starting to learn...

Funny thing she told me.... She said I've should have left you much sooner, look at you now, you look good, you've changed etc... I think she is trying to see if I'm genuine. Bear in mind I figured out what went wrong, and why she left me, I told her that, she was glad, also I told her that I want to fix things, and I want to try again, but I can't do it alone, she needs to do her part, and I think she is trying as much as she can, givinig the circumstances.

 

I noticed that, as the days go by, I'm gaining more and more power, and her actions either push me away, or bring me close, it depends, but the good thing is I'm ok with all of that, If its meant to be it will be... Also I'm getting back in the game with women, so I got that going for me, which is nice

 

I never did full NC, I lasted for about a month, maybe more, and it did wonders for me, but eventually I decided to fight for her... Cause I think she is worth it, until she proves me wrong, but I'm being careful.

 

Sometimes I really think, women can smell when something is wrong, when her man is cooling off, and trying to move on. Everytime I tried to move on, she came, threw a breadcrumb... So I accepted my faith, and guess what... now it doesn't bother me anymore, I'm living my life without her, doing good, still I cave in a little, get into crysis, but It pasts really quick.

 

So block her, and live your life, she will came, then you decide what you want to do. If you want her back, go in NC, but use it to figure out what went wrong. Whatever happens you will have a win win situation for yourself. Either you'll get back together, or she will show you she isn't the right one for you.

 

But that's just me, if you look at my thread, everyone there gave up on me, as I am apparantly hopeless, cause refusing to go NC anymore, but I'm doing what I think is right, and what my gut feeling is telling me.

[Winter blue]

Listen to Kevin, you should take the chance and block her. By doing so you take the power back.

 

I can tell you my ex did the same to me at the 5 month mark, she probably blocked me a month before and then unblocked a month later. I still had no clue why would she block me 4 months after BU, but her unblocking really gave me the chance to gain my power back. She perhaps just trying to get my attention.. Anyway I instantly blocked her the moment I noticed I was unblocked.

 

Exs are human beings too and they get curious after a while, it's most likely just curiosity. Don't give her that satisfaction knowing she can still keep tabs on you. Let her regret her choice to dump you, she lost the right to have a peek in your life the moment she walked out your life.

Edited February 26, 2014 by Winter blue

[shorty1988m]

Gaining power in what ever this is, is not what i want. Having power in a break up is pointless.

 

I won't block her because after thinking about this (of course it made me think about why) the more i think she probably does want me to reach out to her. The whole reason i asked her to block me was because i couldn't stop messaging her and i think maybe this time she thinks if i'm unblocked i will unblock her. But this time i won't. The NC time has left me indifferent towards her.

 

The main reason i struggled post BU at first was because it felt like she wasn't affected and i was out of sight out of mind which snowballed into thinking she didn't love me blah blah. Now i know she has went to the trouble of unblocking me (its a simple thing to do but you need to go through a few steps to do it) so if everything else is true she still thought of me. Thats all i needed to move on!

[TxJD79]

I unfriended my ex when he dumped me and blocked him when i was told he was rebound dating. Then the anniversary of his brother's death came up 2 weeks after he dumped the rebound girl so I sent him a one sentence email and unblocked him on facebook. He sent me back a really nice response thanking me, and asked me to give my dog and my nephew a hug from him.

 

I have no idea if he has noticed the facebook unblock or not. He's not big into facebook. Admittedly yes I wanted to signal that i'm open to communication.

[Winter blue]

well yes, it's not about gaining power in a BU, it's really about making peace with yourself inside.

 

I do hope you can move on by seeing her unblocking you, not to raise any false hope. Because unfortunately alot of dumpees see it that way.

 

It really means nothing. Yes they might be missing you, you crossed their mind, they wanting to be friendly, there could be thousand reasons for the unblocking. But the key is, if she didn't say anything about wanting you back, all those are just breadcrumbs.

 

And do remember, if she wants you back, she will make sure you are the first person know it.

[shorty1988m]

I don't think i could truthfully say i'm fully over her at the moment but i've made great strides the past few weeks and things are looking up.

 

I realised a while ago we weren't good for each other. It was a pretty volatile relationship for the whole time. So false hope isn't an issue i don't think. I feel pretty sure i'd continue NC if she did get in touch but that doesn't mean to say i wouldn't be open to communication in the future. I genuinely think i'm a decent person for the most part and the only thing that was really bothering me lately about the BU was i had this person who was a big part of my life hate me.

 

Thanks for all the advice guys i guess it was just a bit of a swerve ball (albeit a little one).

[LifeGoesOnMan]

BLOCK her, it feels so good, its almost an instant relief.

 

 

the power!

 

 

& stfu about not wanting power or what not., that's the dopamine & serotonin talking

 

 

BLOCK HER.

[LifeGoesOnMan]

I don't think i could truthfully say i'm fully over her at the moment but i've made great strides the past few weeks and things are looking up.

 

 

 

BLOCK HER.

 

 

 

this is why

 

 

YOU'RE NOT OVER HER

 

 

trust man, been there, done that, **** that.

[d0cholliday]

BLOCK HER.

 

 

 

this is why

 

 

YOU'RE NOT OVER HER

 

 

trust man, been there, done that, **** that.

 

Agreed!!! Block her!!!

 

You say you are indifferent, so there is no problem for you if you block her. My ex is the same kind of person, I knew she wouldn't make a move first, she was the dumper, but I screwed up. Even if she screwed up, she still wouldn't make a first move, come and tell me she made a mistake, and she want's to try. But when I blocked her, she came to my door, and since then we are slowly making progress. I told her my wishes, and my requests, and she is trying to fulfill them. It is a long process, but we are getting there. Problem is you never know if your ex is genuine. My ex told me she didn't have another guy after me, she also threw a lot of breadcrumbs, but I think they all are just a ****ty way of trying to reach out to me. It really depends on how good, and honest person ex is. If you choose to believe that she is honest and genuine, than block her, just to make her know that she needs to wake up and do something. You'll gain a lot from doing that. You'll gain power, control, and flush her intentions out. Plus if nothing works out, you can start NC anytime you want, and complete the healing and moving on part.

For me it was hard at the beginning, but now altough I never did full NC, I am in a LC, letting her to initiate contact, respond if respond is needed, we've meet up few times, per her request, and tomorrow we are going on our first date... But bear in mind, that after 3,5 months, even without full NC, and between meeting up with ex, even having sex once, I gained a lot of control, learned a lot of new stuff, I'm gaining power, and self-esteem, and also I can control my urges regarding her, contacting her, talking to her, trying to kiss her etc. I stand my ground now, and I try not to think that much about it, also I stopped analyzing things, and I look at it in a positive way. If it turns out I was wrong, well f-k it.

 

I don't know will this help you, but It helped me.

[David87]

About a month ago was the last time I contacted my ex. I kept reaching out and she kept shutting me down. After the last attempt I asked her to block me as I was having trouble letting go. She said some nasty stuff and then blocked me. It was great. I started moving on and things were going great. Admittedly I had typed her name into search a couple of times to see if I was still blocked. I was.

 

Tonight I was browsing Facebook which I actually don't do much anymore and seen a comment on a mutual friends status. It was her and when I checked I was unblocked. So now my minds racing over why? Even though I know it's not important.

 

Possible reasons why?!

 

-she's showing a friend what I looked like or something along those lines.

-she wants me to see she's doing ok or some thing like that.

-she's curious to see if I've moved on (interestingly my cover photo has changed and has comments from a girl I've been talking to. Atleast it shows I'm moving on)

-she's making some sort of headway into opening a dialogue again. Doubt it though.

 

It's actually done me really good to see an unblock. For the time since the break up I had some issues thinking of not being good enough and was mostly worried that she wasn't been affected by the BU. it's given me a little pick up to know that one way or another I'm still on her mind.

 

Anybody had anything like this happen??

 

Corect me if im wrong : YOU ASKED HER TO BLOCK YOU ????? wtf man where's your dignity, you acted like DOORMAT. Now is your chance to BLOCK her forever. Have some self respect for a chance.

[shorty1988m]

Ha i don't know why people take it so seriously about losing your dignity and self respect from not blocking her. What ever way you act post BU it doesn't really matter unless you want her/him back in the future!

 

I have no plans to block her because that involves actually going on Facebook, then going on her page and then blocking her when in fact i couldn't care less. I've seen her post before and it doesn't really bother me.

[Kevin_D]

Ha i don't know why people take it so seriously about losing your dignity and self respect from not blocking her. What ever way you act post BU it doesn't really matter unless you want her/him back in the future!

 

I have no plans to block her because that involves actually going on Facebook, then going on her page and then blocking her when in fact i couldn't care less. I've seen her post before and it doesn't really bother me.

 

Huh? What the hell are you talking about? I don't know, to me this just sounds like poor excuses.

 

To be honest it seems childish but I don't want to block her now as she will know I've noticed this and she might get what she wants from that.

So now my minds racing over why?

 

So you couldn't care less, but yet you are afraid of what she will think and say that you're mind is racing...? Why did you even view her profile in the first place? If you could see her comment, you already knew that she had unblocked you.

 

Give me a break.

[Simon Phoenix]

Ha i don't know why people take it so seriously about losing your dignity and self respect from not blocking her. What ever way you act post BU it doesn't really matter unless you want her/him back in the future!

 

I have no plans to block her because that involves actually going on Facebook, then going on her page and then blocking her when in fact i couldn't care less. I've seen her post before and it doesn't really bother me.

 

You are talking from both sides of your mouth. Everything about this thread suggests you care.

[organizedchaos]

Ha i don't know why people take it so seriously about losing your dignity and self respect from not blocking her. What ever way you act post BU it doesn't really matter unless you want her/him back in the future!

 

I have no plans to block her because that involves actually going on Facebook, then going on her page and then blocking her when in fact i couldn't care less. I've seen her post before and it doesn't really bother me.

 

you don't have to even go to her page to block her.

 

Settings>Blocking

 

Type in her name, and it's done. No need to go to her page to do it.

[David87]

Just do it already.

[shorty1988m]

Ok guys for a start I never asked for advice on what I should do because I never planned on doing anything I was just curious as to what reasons it may have been done for. So chill out!

 

Ofcourse I care about this girl and I'll probably be curious as to how she's doing my whole life. If she contacts me I'll decide there and then if I contact back but at the minute I doubt I will because while I have no desire to get back with her something may stir back up.

 

It seems a lot of people on here have had very bitter experiences and you're now trying to project them on me. My break up wasn't bad and we tried the friendship thing but it was too soon and that caused a few arguments which tainted the break up. Out reasons for breaking up we're long distance with no foreseeable future.

 

Yes I asked her to block me. That was to stop me contacting her while I was hurting but now I don't feel that same hurt I see no reason why we can't have that block removed.

[David87]

So I guess that you're the only one here with a good break up.

 

You have a lot to learn my friend, just like all new users you think that your situation is different , trust me it's not. No biggie you'll learn the hard way.

Edited February 28, 2014 by David87

[shorty1988m]

Yup just as I thought. A self righteous answer that says you know best.

 

I don't think my break up is different to anyone else's but stop thinking it's your way or the highway.

[David87]

I'm not saying it's my way or the highway, you're on LS, I gave you my advice, it's up to you what you'll do with it.

[AlphaC]

Huh? What the hell are you talking about? I don't know, to me this just sounds like poor excuses.

 

 

 

 

So you couldn't care less, but yet you are afraid of what she will think and say that you're mind is racing...? Why did you even view her profile in the first place? If you could see her comment, you already knew that she had unblocked you.

 

Give me a break.

 

 

KevinD, he is hoping that by her unblocking him, the pathways to reconciliation will blossom.

 

Shorty, listen bro, the next thing that's going to happen is the following, your ex will change her profile picture to show her with her new man. You will then come back on LS to post:

 

1. 'My ex has changed her profile pic, is the guy tongue kissing her in the pic her new boyfriend or just a friend?"

 

2. "Is she in a rebound, how long do rebounds last, after all, our break up was not that bad?"

 

3. "How long should I go No Contact for, should I send her an email to ask her about the weather?"

 

4. "You know what people, I could care less, it's just facebook and I don't want her to know that I log in frequently so it's probably best I don't ask about the weather."

 

Look Shorty, your ex moved on to a REAL MAN, a man with cojones. She unblocked you because she felt like it, not everything requires a reason, you are here over analyzing and justifying her every move because you think she is in love with you and all she thinks about is you. That's why you posted on the "second chances" section.

 

She has not contacted you directly to say "let's work it out." What she has said directly is that she wants to break up, and that's what she did.

 

Ever wonder why this girl really left you? Ever realize what women look for in a man? Women don't want men who analyze their every move, men who idolize, worship and cater to their every request; they might say they do but that's not what they really want. Women want a man with a back bone, a man who "get's it" un hombre con cojones!!

 

Most important, I can tell you there are a lot people on LS who have become really strong emotionally and wise as a result of being on this site. This site has helped me a lot, from all the advice to the book suggestions, to the comments on my postings, and it's all free, take advantage of the advice my man. Peace.

[readynow]

We women mostly want very different things.

 

I might unblock on Facebook because I want another shot and just testing to see if he's still interested, the other girl might unblock because she wants to mess with your mind, the 3rd girl unblocked because she wants to see your new girlfriend while a 4th girl unblocked by accident and clicked unblock instead of delete. How would you know which it was? You can't - unless she does something further.

 

She unblocked you and you're excited about it - I would be too! I'd be curious to know why! What's so strange about that?

 

If you have no need for revenge or pay-back, no need to block her. Just leave it until you must do something. Not everyone suffers from break ups endlessly and need to take drastic actions in order to survive the BU. You seem to be doing ok - that's normal.

Edited March 2, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator