Keenly Posted February 26, 2014 Share Posted February 26, 2014 But still though. If he truly cared for my feelings he would have chosen not to. I'm not trying to control him, I know I don't have the right. Oh the mind of a woman. To deflect affection, only to question where it lands. You are crazy. Thinking that you have the right to be upset about this. You broke up with him.... over the phone.... TWICE, and then you have the nerve to say " if he respected my feelings, he wouldn't do that " God forbid he move on and be happy without you. Some people.... 9 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 26, 2014 Share Posted February 26, 2014 Do you think it's too late to get him back? Feel entitled much? If you do go after him be prepared for a fight. His ex isn't going to just hand him back over to you after waiting this long to get him back. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
iDrumKing Posted February 26, 2014 Share Posted February 26, 2014 Feel entitled much? If you do go after him be prepared for a fight. His ex isn't going to just hand him back over to you after waiting this long to get him back. Yeah no kidding. Like I suggested before, she's probably taken those two years to improve herself. Not mess necessarily waiting for you guys to break up, because I'm she also dated around too. Also she probably said mean and nasty things because she felt very strongly about him, not kind but love will make you do crazy things. Now since she improved, he took big notice. She probably opened up while they dated. She probably was still into it and didn't lose interest Maybe there breakup wasn't as bad as yours, which I hate to add salt to the wound, but you did the guy some HEAVY damage I'm not trying to make you feel but but put things into perspective. Link to post Share on other sites
iDrumKing Posted February 26, 2014 Share Posted February 26, 2014 No, being alone all these months has now triggered your jealousy because he's now moved on and you're still alone. All because of a post. If you had not seen the post, you wouldn't be harping on this. You wouldn't have started this thread. And if you decide to poke your nose in his life again, you better be damn sure you're not going to hurt him again. You stating that you saw the relationship going nowhere and you weren't into him doesn't change in seven months. You felt that way for a reason. You can't have what you want and if you don't want him, you can't stand that some other woman is wanting him. You can't stand that he's happy. You can't stand he chose an ex that wronged you and that makes you feel unvalidated. Very well put Link to post Share on other sites
forgetmenot75 Posted February 26, 2014 Share Posted February 26, 2014 Mmmno..he is not trying to make you jealous, he's just living his life and enjoying he's single again. C'mon, you broke up with him, leave him alone. He might be reconnecting with his ex, but definitely not to make you jealous. Maybe you are jealous indeed, think about it. Leave him alone, you made a decision, stick with it and live your life. Link to post Share on other sites
4everalones Posted February 26, 2014 Share Posted February 26, 2014 So back 7 months later (now) I was just on Facebook, and he happened to be on my newsfeed because of a mutual friend. He wasn't trying to make you jealous. You saw the picture through a mutual friend's Facebook. Your ex doesn't even know that you can see his pictures... and why do you care anyways? you broke up with him because you weren't happy. Why are you angry now? I think you just want what you don't have. You didn't want to be with him, so he found someone who wants to be with him. He moved on, and it doesn't matter who he's dating. It's his life, his choices, his decisions. You should do the same. Move on and find someone who will make you happy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SunshineOnMe Posted February 27, 2014 Author Share Posted February 27, 2014 He wasn't trying to make you jealous. You saw the picture through a mutual friend's Facebook. Your ex doesn't even know that you can see his pictures... and why do you care anyways? you broke up with him because you weren't happy. Why are you angry now? I think you just want what you don't have. Okay I'll admit it. I'm being extremely jealous. I'm being immature. I'm wanting what I can't have. I was with him for 2 years, and was just getting bored. I felt like I was changing and was not happy. But that does not mean I don't still care for him. It's just a punch in the gut when he turns back to her because it makes me feel like these 2 years we were together meant nothing to him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted February 27, 2014 Share Posted February 27, 2014 Okay I'll admit it. I'm being extremely jealous. I'm being immature. I'm wanting what I can't have. I was with him for 2 years, and was just getting bored. I felt like I was changing and was not happy. But that does not mean I don't still care for him. It's just a punch in the gut when he turns back to her because it makes me feel like these 2 years we were together meant nothing to him. How do you think he felt when you dumped him? 8 Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted February 27, 2014 Share Posted February 27, 2014 It's just a punch in the gut when he turns back to her because it makes me feel like these 2 years we were together meant nothing to him. How did he feel about those two years with you when you dumped him? The two years meant so much to you that you didn't even bother to talk to him about the issues so that he could fix it in hopes that the relationship would at least have a chance to work. Instead you washed your hands of it and callously so. That's the extent of your investment. OP, the more you post, the more you exhibit an extreme sense of selfishness and entitlement. And the more I hope you stay away from him, only for his sake. He certainly deserves better. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Kopite Posted February 27, 2014 Share Posted February 27, 2014 Jeez. I'm sorry OP but I'm going to be extremely harsh here but it may give you kick up the arse you need. You are being extremely childish and selfish here. You stopped having feelings for him, which is fine by the way. It can happen to anyone. But you did the worst thing you could do. Instead of trying to solve the problem, you let it grow and then you took the coward's way out. Then, you break up on the phone?? Really?? And you claim it's because you didn't want to see him sad. Poor you. In reality, it's got nothing to do with trying to protect him. You just didn't want to feel guilty. Now you are upset because he's gone back to his ex? Really?? Do you know how pathetic that sounds? Throughout this whole time, you've only ever cared about yourself. You need to grow up and move on. Please, just leave him alone. Unless your goal is to hurt him more. Then, by all means, contact him. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
iDrumKing Posted February 27, 2014 Share Posted February 27, 2014 Okay I'll admit it. I'm being extremely jealous. I'm being immature. I'm wanting what I can't have. I was with him for 2 years, and was just getting bored. I felt like I was changing and was not happy. But that does not mean I don't still care for him. It's just a punch in the gut when he turns back to her because it makes me feel like these 2 years we were together meant nothing to him. YOU threw it all away. This guy would've done anything for you. And after reading you original post, you said he was made because he wanted you to open up so he could help? He's freaking reaching out to you BECAUSE HE CARED. Are you that blind? Fine, you lost feelings, but do you think giving him a chance to fix things is an unreasonable request? I'm gonna tell you now that there are some crappy people in the world. And that fact that you seemed to have had a decent sounding guy, dropped him for your reasons, and now you're mad because he chose someone who chose him, is whats making everybody here irritated because you don't see the picture. Link to post Share on other sites
MyMantra Posted March 1, 2014 Share Posted March 1, 2014 It's his choice. Maybe his ex before didn't treat him as badly as you did. Ending 2 Years over the phone is hell of a way to break a guys heart... Move on. Leave him alone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SunshineOnMe Posted March 2, 2014 Author Share Posted March 2, 2014 I've created a post before about my ex bf but I thought I'd give you guys a better understand on my situation. - I technically was with my ex bf for 2 years. Several months before I broke it off, I wasn't happy with the relationship. I didn't tell him, which I can understand that's not fair. - I sadly blindsided him with the breakup over the phone. I understand it was sudden, but I couldn't do it any longer. I. WAS. NOT. HAPPY. - He tried his best to get me back with calling, texting, meeting me in person. Said that it was not fair to not give him a chance. He brought up good ole time, said he'd change, etc. I convinced myself to not believe him. He finally said he'd leave me alone for good. I feel bad because he had A LOT going on in his life. - Don't get me wrong, he was incredibly kind, caring, and sweet. At one point at the beginning of our relationship, I saw marriage with him. Slowly that went away. - I went out with friends and casually went on some dates with guys. I was free and I was happy. BACK TO THE FUTURE - Lately I've been thinking about him. I've gone on several dates with guys and got really close with 1-2 of them. But I found really unattractive qualities in them. I'm comparing... - I am no longer friends with him on FB, but occasionally I will look him up to see his profile picture or he will come onto my new feed because of a mutual friend. He looks... happy. Don't get me wrong I am happy too. But lately I've had this rush of wanting him. - I see pictures of him with his Ex before me. It kinda hurts to be honest. We had issues with keeping her out of our business while we dated, and to see her back with him is... depressing. I sound selfish I know. - I was talking to a friend one time that spoke to my ex bf. He asked him what would he consider me in terms of relationship wise..... He said he considered me a stranger. I'll admit, that made me choke up a bit. - I know I'm the one that dumped him. At the time it felt so right. I saw positive results from being single again and didn't want to go back. But now with everything going on... I question it. Link to post Share on other sites
lvroflife Posted March 2, 2014 Share Posted March 2, 2014 IT is definitely kicking in...And the fact that he is living his life is making you more attracted to him!! He is not begging or any of that and that is turning you on to him... So now you need to think about what your next move is...If he is a new relationship, you have to respect that and let him go.. if he isn't reach out to him and not with breadcrumbs!! Be honest, tell him you made a mistake, and if he takes you nack take it slow and talk about where the relationship BROKE... but also be prepared to be rejected Link to post Share on other sites
iDrumKing Posted March 2, 2014 Share Posted March 2, 2014 I agree with the post above. You are feeling dumpers remorse. He's out living his life and having fun and you can't stand it. I know it hurts but you gotta let him go. I mean you did let him go in the first place... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LostConfused123 Posted March 2, 2014 Share Posted March 2, 2014 This guy is living every dumpee's dream and he doesn't even know it. No, disrespect to you OP for that remark. You're only human. You made a mistake (we all make mistakes) but now you can learn from it. I really hope you move forward and leave him be. Please, if you really care for him, leave him be. Best of luck!! 6 Link to post Share on other sites
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted March 2, 2014 Share Posted March 2, 2014 U need to stop right now... U dont want him back u are just making yourself think u do because jealousy is getting to u... its perfectly normal to feel that way but dont ruin what he has going on now... honestly hun u dont want him u are just suffering with the perfectly normal human reaction of wanting what u cant have ... u finished with him keep reminding yourself of that xx 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Never Again Posted March 2, 2014 Share Posted March 2, 2014 This thread infuriates me to no end. Not because of the dumpers remorse or the jealousy, but because it follows the same pattern I see all over this site - silent pouting and unhappiness that leads to a breakup without an ounce of communication or effort. OP, the real question is: even if you did really want him back, what's changed? Are you willing to speak up and keep things from getting boring? Has he changed whatever bothered you? Or will you silently mope about, expecting a relationship to just "feel right" without assertively stating your needs, and leave when they're ultimately not met. I can't speak for your ex, but your crappy communication methods will kill any relationship you have until you fix them. Get those sorted out before you even consider doing a damned thing. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted March 2, 2014 Share Posted March 2, 2014 So it's been about 7 months since I broke it off with my now ex boyfriend. We dated for about 2 years. 2-3 months prior to the breakup I started to loose interest. I wasn't happy at all. I didn't tell him because I wanted to see if my feelings would change. They didn't. I called him and told him that it wasn't going to work out. He was shocked. I will admit that I should've told him, but I'm just not good at opening up. He got mad because I didn't tell him my problems and didn't give him a chance, and that I that I didn't do it in person. Which I can understand, but I didn't see it going anywhere. I couldn't drag myself down. You sound very similar to my ex GF, she's 21. "I wasn't happy at all. I didn't tell him because I wanted to see if my feelings would change. They didn't. " Why would you expect your feelings to change if nothing different happened?! How could he fix the problem he doesn't even know exists?! You don't deserve any respect or kindness from your ex. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SunshineOnMe Posted March 2, 2014 Author Share Posted March 2, 2014 I just didn't know how to speak up. I kept quite because I didn't want to start fights. Is that so wrong? Link to post Share on other sites
iDrumKing Posted March 2, 2014 Share Posted March 2, 2014 I just didn't know how to speak up. I kept quite because I didn't want to start fights. Is that so wrong? Um... YES. This is your partner. Your companion. Since you didn't go to him about your feelings, I bet you went to your friends and family. They help but if the issue is between you and you ex bf, WHY NOT GO TO HIM? When you go to other people, you give them the power to sway your decisions. Assuming your ex BF was a good guy, I feel sorry for him. Your problem is communication. What does leaving him do to help that issue? It's not a switch that turns on and off. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted March 2, 2014 Share Posted March 2, 2014 I just didn't know how to speak up. I kept quite because I didn't want to start fights. Is that so wrong? Why do you think a fight would start if you spoke up? Frankly I wish my ex-GF spoke and brought out her grievances instead of randomly dumping me one day. I don't know if this isn't obvious to some girls, but there is absolutely nothing worse to a guy than suddenly being dumped when you had no idea it was coming. Would you be fine if a BF you love and thought he was happy with you, called you one day and said that it's over? Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted March 2, 2014 Share Posted March 2, 2014 Um... YES. This is your partner. Your companion. Since you didn't go to him about your feelings, I bet you went to your friends and family. They help but if the issue is between you and you ex bf, WHY NOT GO TO HIM? When you go to other people, you give them the power to sway your decisions. Assuming your ex BF was a good guy, I feel sorry for him. Your problem is communication. What does leaving him do to help that issue? It's not a switch that turns on and off. That is exactly what my ex did. She didn't talk to me at all about any issues she had and instead talked to her friends. :mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad: I have no idea what they told her but she broke up with me soon after. IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND, TALK TO YOUR BOYFRIEND!!!! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Never Again Posted March 2, 2014 Share Posted March 2, 2014 I just didn't know how to speak up. I kept quite because I didn't want to start fights. Is that so wrong? Yes. My ex was also awful at communicating. I gave in to avoid fights as well. Lack of communication on either side will cause resentment, disappointment, boredom and hurt. Not communicating means that you're not maintaining your personal boundaries, and things start to get hairy when that happens. Just take this as a lesson for your next relationship. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SunshineOnMe Posted March 2, 2014 Author Share Posted March 2, 2014 Yes. My ex was also awful at communicating. I gave in to avoid fights as well. Lack of communication on either side will cause resentment, disappointment, boredom and hurt. Not communicating means that you're not maintaining your personal boundaries, and things start to get hairy when that happens. Just take this as a lesson for your next relationship. It's just hard. This was my 1st LTR. I didn't now the ways to go about things. I know a majority of my concern comes from jealousy, but I gave him a lot of myself. Even my virginity... didn't want to bring that out but that's how much I cared for him. What do I do to get him back? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts