EX Boyfriend trying to make me mad? [update]

[LostConfused123]

Would it be too much to try to work out a friendship with my ex BF?

 

Look I'm not looking for a way too pry my way into his current relationship. That would be immoral. I just feel that the 2 years we were together shouldn't be forgotten like they never even happened. Sure I was bored. I loved him but wasn't in love. I did and still do care about him though.

 

I'm just having trouble wrapping my head around him getting back with his ex though... now please before you bite my head off saying I have no right to say who he can and cannot date. I know. I realize that, but this is really eating me away.

 

While we dated, his ex GF would call me trash due to the fact that I didn't go to a higher class school like the two of them did, I'm a bit larger than your petite girls like she was and like you see these days but she took a shot calling me fat, which I am very self conscious about, etc.

 

MY ex BF genuinely defended me. He would fight to protect her from me. He was the one that broke it off with her in the first place, so his disdain for her was there.

 

It just baffles me that he's now back with her. I know it's selfish to have these thoughts. But I just feel them.

I honestly don't know if a friendship could develop over time with your ex. Hard to say. No one knows.

 

You never know. It wouldn't be unheard of but I would really recommend just leaving him alone for a while and working on yourself.

Emotions are really peaking right now. Yours, his, his girlfriend. etc.

 

Just my advice but I would take some time to let everything cool down.

A few months down the road??? A friendship???

You never know. I hope you leave it be and work on yourself for a while though.

[iDrumKing]

While we dated, his ex GF would call me trash due to the fact that I didn't go to a higher class school like the two of them did, I'm a bit larger than your petite girls like she was and like you see these days but she took a shot calling me fat, which I am very self conscious about, etc.

 

MY ex BF genuinely defended me. He would fight to protect her from me. He was the one that broke it off with her in the first place, so his disdain for her was there.

 

It just baffles me that he's now back with her. I know it's selfish to have these thoughts. But I just feel them.

 

Did it ever occur to to that they didn't end things on such bad terms as you did?

 

Just a thought

[stillafool]

He obviously was still harboring feelings for his ex and that's why they are back together. Forget about being friends with him because people want to be friends with those they respect and he doesn't respect you. Also you still have feelings for him, you hate his gf so really there is no place for you in his life. Stop being a spoiled brat who can't get her way and move on.

[LifeGoesOnMan]

I gotta say, this gives me the chills because it is in fact what every dumpee hopes for, and its almost a MIRROR image of my situation.

 

 

& I am sorry, but its even better for your ex if he doesn't want you back

 

 

indifference hurts... don't it?

 

 

what goes around comes around.

 

 

bittersweet to read, more sweet than bitter because I was the dumpee in my situation but I do feel sorry for you because you are a person with feelings as well.

 

 

but as they say..

 

 

"cry me a river".

[LifeGoesOnMan]

Just an update:

 

I got lunch with a guy that I work with today. While waiting for our food, my ex BF and his gf walked in. They didn't see us at first.

 

.

 

 

 

lol seriously? whats are the chances???

 

 

btw, if I was your ex, and he said anything to me, I would have smacked the sh*t out of him in front of you and then paid your bill after.

 

 

what a tool.

[LostConfused123]

I gotta say, this gives me the chills because it is in fact what every dumpee hopes for, and its almost a MIRROR image of my situation.

 

 

& I am sorry, but its even better for your ex if he doesn't want you back

 

 

indifference hurts... don't it?

 

 

what goes around comes around.

 

 

bittersweet to read, more sweet than bitter because I was the dumpee in my situation but I do feel sorry for you because you are a person with feelings as well.

 

 

but as they say..

 

 

"cry me a river".

You must feel great! I'm happy for you!

 

Would you care to share more on another thread sometime?

 

If you don't, I understand. Best of luck!!!

[LifeGoesOnMan]

You must feel great! I'm happy for you!

 

Would you care to share more on another thread sometime?

 

If you don't, I understand. Best of luck!!!

 

 

 

 

 

haha sure, anytime! :D:D

[lauri]

All I see is you trying to convince us, no, actually YOURSELF, that what you are feeling / doing is okay. Let’s be honest here… you just “happened” to see your ex at the same place? C’mon…we weren't born yesterday. What are you doing going on about your ex if you are “interested” in another guy? It’s counter-intuitive.

 

You lost interest in your ex for a reason, and I think if you two were dating again there is probably a 5-10% chance you could ever be in love with him again. Think about what happened last time you two got back together? Did you re-gain interest? No. Love cannot be forced...You chose to not work on things with him, which is fine because it is your choice in the end, but you cannot go back on a decision like that in the end.

 

You are only jealous because you have not found someone else to replace him…if you found someone else you would have moved on and not cared. But at this point, you are so drawn to him due to the challenge, confidence and self-control he has that you won’t be able to think of anything else.

 

I’m disappointed in what you are saying & doing because I know you could be so much better than this. Being manipulative, jealous and selfish won’t get you anywhere. I get it; you are naive and trying to find justifications for what is going on. Instead, you need to sit back and realize the reality of your decisions and actions…TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for them too.

[LostConfused123]

haha sure, anytime! :D:D

Thank you!! I'll keep watch for it

 

Pretty amazing how the tables turn after they leave us for dead huh!

((hugs!!))

[Simon Phoenix]

Would it be too much to try to work out a friendship with my ex BF?

 

Look I'm not looking for a way too pry my way into his current relationship. That would be immoral. I just feel that the 2 years we were together shouldn't be forgotten like they never even happened. Sure I was bored. I loved him but wasn't in love. I did and still do care about him though.

 

I'm just having trouble wrapping my head around him getting back with his ex though... now please before you bite my head off saying I have no right to say who he can and cannot date. I know. I realize that, but this is really eating me away.

 

While we dated, his ex GF would call me trash due to the fact that I didn't go to a higher class school like the two of them did, I'm a bit larger than your petite girls like she was and like you see these days but she took a shot calling me fat, which I am very self conscious about, etc.

 

MY ex BF genuinely defended me. He would fight to protect her from me. He was the one that broke it off with her in the first place, so his disdain for her was there.

 

It just baffles me that he's now back with her. I know it's selfish to have these thoughts. But I just feel them.

 

Oh well, that's the way the cookie crumbles. Grow up and move forward.

[SunshineOnMe]

I’m disappointed in what you are saying & doing because I know you could be so much better than this. Being manipulative, jealous and selfish won’t get you anywhere. I get it; you are naive and trying to find justifications for what is going on. Instead, you need to sit back and realize the reality of your decisions and actions…TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for them too.

 

You know what? You're right. Everyone who chimed in on this thread is right. I need to step back and reevaluate my actions and how I feel.

 

I act irrationally a lot and that's something I will strive to fix.

 

Just plain and simple without BS. I simply this the guy. I miss him so much. I will leave him alone no matter how much I do miss him.

[clairedunham]

So it's been about 7 months since I broke it off with my now ex boyfriend. We dated for about 2 years. 2-3 months prior to the breakup I started to loose interest. I wasn't happy at all. I didn't tell him because I wanted to see if my feelings would change. They didn't.

 

I called him and told him that it wasn't going to work out. He was shocked. I will admit that I should've told him, but I'm just not good at opening up. He got mad because I didn't tell him my problems and didn't give him a chance, and that I that I didn't do it in person. Which I can understand, but I didn't see it going anywhere. I couldn't drag myself down.

 

I week later I got back together to "try" but I just wasn't feeling it. I gave him another call and told him the truth of me not being happy with him anymore. He said okay, and hung up. I soon took him off Facebook.

 

So back 7 months later (now) I was just on Facebook, and he happened to be on my newsfeed because of a mutual friend.

 

I saw pictures of him at a wedding with a date... His EX girlfriend before me.... I was told that hey were "reconnecting."

 

Why is he doing this? Is he trying to make me jealous? I know that I went about the breakup all wrong, but he's really got some nerves getting back with her.

 

Why?

 

 

And he did make you jealous. I think this is just a matter of ego.

[iDrumKing]

You know what? You're right. Everyone who chimed in on this thread is right. I need to step back and reevaluate my actions and how I feel.

 

Well I'm glad that you're starting to get the grip of things.

[LifeGoesOnMan]

You know what? You're right. Everyone who chimed in on this thread is right. I need to step back and reevaluate my actions and how I feel.

 

I act irrationally a lot and that's something I will strive to fix.

 

Just plain and simple without BS. I simply this the guy. I miss him so much. I will leave him alone no matter how much I do miss him.

 

 

 

love (& the lack of) hurts.

 

 

we are all human, and we get it.

 

however, life goes on.

[LostConfused123]

You know what? You're right. Everyone who chimed in on this thread is right. I need to step back and reevaluate my actions and how I feel.

 

I act irrationally a lot and that's something I will strive to fix.

 

Just plain and simple without BS. I simply this the guy. I miss him so much. I will leave him alone no matter how much I do miss him.

You will come out of this much stronger and wiser. It's a learning experience.

I myself don't learn much when I make the right choices. It's when I make poor choices and have to suffer the consequences that I learn the most. Basically, I've grown immensely because of my screw ups.

And I've made more than I can count.

 

You're only human. Push forward, work on yourself and the woman you want to become and everything will be okay. Even better than okay. Things will be great one day!

I promise you!

((hugs!!))

[Never Again]

You know what? You're right. Everyone who chimed in on this thread is right. I need to step back and reevaluate my actions and how I feel.

 

I act irrationally a lot and that's something I will strive to fix.

 

Just plain and simple without BS. I simply this the guy. I miss him so much. I will leave him alone no matter how much I do miss him.

 

Good.

 

If you were on speaking terms with your ex, I'd suggest apologizing for your douchey co-workers behavior and then go silent...but he's already asked you to not contact him, sooooooo....

 

You broke up with your ex irrationally, and your desire to get him back is irrational. That's fine and all...those are emotions.

 

But mature people TALK when they're unhappy, try to resolve those issues, and leave when they realize that things just aren't working out. You silently pouted.

 

Learn from this experience.

 

Every woman will have spurts where they're bitchy and moody. Every man will have lulls where he's wussy and not much of a challenge. It HAPPENS. Relationships are about supporting each other, calling your partner out when their sh*t starts to stink a little too much, and being brave enough to open up and surrender completely. Every relationship you have going forward will have rifts, moments where you're not 100% into it or things get rough/stale. It is your responsibility to work on things BEFORE they hit a breaking point, just as it's your responsibility to leave if the relationship no longer offers you the ability to grow the way you need to.

Edited March 7, 2014 by Pfenixphire

[SunshineOnMe]

- It's sad isn't it? Two people who at once were so close now do anything in their power to avoid each other. How do you move on from that? I'm having a lot of trouble lately and I hope you guys can give me crucial advice.

 

- I heard some heart wrenching things yesterday while hanging with some friends. One of my friends is close to my ex BF. I willingly asked for him to tell be how my bf was after I broke it off with him. At first he didn't want to tell but I needed to know.

 

- I was told that he was a wreck and that he felt helpless, abandoned, and betrayed. I started to get a lump in my throat because although I know I hurt him, I didn't grasp the idea of how much I actually did.

 

- One thing that was said that sent tears running down my face. My ex said "At one point in my life, she was the most important thing to me."

 

- How do I move on from knowing that?

[LadyM]

Your trying to move on from that information is nothing compared to the heartache you put him through and tried to move on from.

[SunshineOnMe]

Your trying to move on from that information is nothing compared to the heartache you put him through and tried to move on from.

 

What do you mean?

[sooshi]

Yes, it's sad and painful.

 

You were the most important thing him at one point and you find it hard to move on from that. YOU broke it off with him though, so I imagine he wasn't the most important thing to you. If he were, you would have been more sensitive to his feelings afterwards. It seems like you haven't really reached out to him, because you're getting information from other people.

 

You like being important to someone. That's what you miss. And you feel guilty for hurting him, maybe because you knew how much you meant to him, rather than feeling remorseful for hurting HIM.

 

If you're really as sorry as you claim, reach out to him. Tell him you know he's been hurting so much and that you didn't mean to. Do something. He might not be receptive to it, but at least he'll know that you care. Because right now, he probably thinks you couldn't care less.

 

Sorry if this sounds harsh. I don't mean to be. The post upset me.

[4everalones]

Check out this video. It's very powerful and talks about your situation. Maybe it will give you perspective on how things work when a relationship ends.

 

Strangers, again

[LadyM]

Your trying to move on from that information is nothing compared to the heartache you put him through and tried to move on from.

 

It means I have no empathy for your difficulty in how to move on from knowing this information.

 

Did you really not know how deeply you hurt him when you broke his heart?

 

This information comes as some kind of surprise to you?

 

Your ex is the one who is suffering. You're not.

[zen2475]

Meaning you caused him a great deal of pain. Your pain in hearing how he felt is nothing compared to the pain you inflicted on him.

[SunshineOnMe]

Why is everyone taking his side on this. I had to do it because I wasn't happy, the fact that I hurt him doesn't necessarily make me feel better, but it's something that had to be done

[Strength in Healing]

Why is everyone taking his side on this. I had to do it because I wasn't happy, the fact that I hurt him doesn't necessarily make me feel better, but it's something that had to be done

 

 

On this site, people are likely to jump on the dumper as they themselves are dumpees. Perhaps it would behoove you to post your story so they stop seeing it as so comparable to theirs. Everyone, you should be more aware of your judgments and try to have empathy. For all you know, the guy was abusive to her.