Wife or lover

[Confusedmaybestupid]

You may have all heard this before, I've been married to my wife for 18 months. We have been together for 10 years. We have two children ages 5 and 1. I have recently met up with a ex girlfriend from school. We instantly hit it off and couldn't keep our hands off each other. I have fallen so deeply in love with this girl who I truly believe is my soul mate. We spend every possible moment together and I cannot let her go. My wife depends on me totally, money, home everything. It will break me to leave her bit I cannot let go of my new woman. I don't know what to do. There hasn't been a spark between me and my wife for years, probably 6-7 years. I love her more as a friend and as a great mother to our children. I would lose everything if I left her but that doesn't out weigh the way I feel about the other woman. Please don't comment calling me names and giving me abuse. It's 2014. These things happen. Anything.

[OpheliaSong]

You may have all heard this before, I've been married to my wife for 18 months. We have been together for 10 years. We have two children ages 5 and 1. I have recently met up with a ex girlfriend from school. We instantly hit it off and couldn't keep our hands off each other. I have fallen so deeply in love with this girl who I truly believe is my soul mate. We spend every possible moment together and I cannot let her go. My wife depends on me totally, money, home everything. It will break me to leave her bit I cannot let go of my new woman. I don't know what to do. There hasn't been a spark between me and my wife for years, probably 6-7 years. I love her more as a friend and as a great mother to our children. I would lose everything if I left her but that doesn't out weigh the way I feel about the other woman. Please don't comment calling me names and giving me abuse. It's 2014. These things happen. Anything.

 

I think you should ask your wife,whom you have been with for over ten years, and the mother of your children how best to proceed with this situation. After all, it is her life and her children's lives you are getting ready to destroy. She will know exactly what to do.

[pteromom]

I would lose everything if I left her but that doesn't out weigh the way I feel about the other woman.

 

There's your answer. You are willing to lose everything else in order to be with the other woman.

 

So go do it.

 

Just be kind and fair to your wife and children in the divorce.

[EverySunset]

1. if you haven't had a spark for 6-7 years, why did you have two children with her during that time?

 

2. If you asked your wife the same question, how long do you think she's noticed that missing spark? Do you think shed agree? Why not ask.

 

3. Are you perhaps feeling a little trapped by fatherhood with two small and understandably needy children (normal for that age) and feel suffocated?

 

4. Do you help your wife with childcare or just miss the attention you used to get when she didn't have so much child rearing to do... ?

[lmyya]

My advice might be slightly unexpected.

 

I am coming at this from the point of view of the other woman. Keeping her in mind (since you may want to "end up" with her):

 

Do not leave your current wife unless you think you would be happier alone than with the current wife.

 

Because if you leave her only for the other woman, I think that that will do significant damage to your new relationship down the road. It will put a lot of pressure on the new relationship. Any regrets you have about leaving the old relationship (and you would have at least some) would be laid at the feet of your new one.

 

It's hard to be the reason someone did something like leave their marriage. Too hard. Make sure you have other reasons first, is my advice. And the test for that is: Would you eventually be happier alone, than with current wife? If you would, then you probably have more chance of lasting happiness with new love interest.

 

I agree, be fair and generous during the divorce. If not for your wife, then for the kids.