flyaway90 Posted February 26, 2014 Share Posted February 26, 2014 Hi all, I'm also one of those who has scrolled this page, in the hope for tips/examples on how to get an ex back. I am in the very early stages of this, so thought I would post about it here. I was dumped a year ago by my ex due to his battle with depression. There was always a lot of love and happiness between us, but he explained he "needed to be alone, as he wasn't happy", and "didn't want to drag me down" etc. I was completely heartbroken, but tried my best to move on. Had low contact for a few months, then none until my birthday 2 weeks ago. I got a belated facebook message from him, which took me by surprise. I kept my reply short and sweet with "thanks, hope you're doing well." We have since been talking and he admitted he still deeply loves and cares for me, how sorry he was, how stubborn he realised he'd been by taking the easy way out instead of facing his demons, how he was now in a better place and was waiting to tell me the above for a while but never had the courage/right words, ans aasumed I had met someone better. Well as you can imagine, after about 10 months no contact I could not believe it. I have tried moving on and dating other people since the split,but found myself comparing them all to him. After putting all our cards on the table, with me explaining how hurt I was at the time and my concerns if we got together again, it really sounds like he has a good handle on his depression, is willing to seek help if it deterioates, understands it will take work and time for him to gain my trust again, but I have hopes for us. I will try to keep this updated, but all I will say is don't lose hope but be realistic, and follow your heart You'll know when someone is worth the risk Link to post Share on other sites
Kopite Posted February 27, 2014 Share Posted February 27, 2014 Good luck OP. Take it slow for now and let us know what happens. Cheers. Link to post Share on other sites
Author flyaway90 Posted March 6, 2014 Author Share Posted March 6, 2014 Thank you. Update: we met up for the first time in a year last night. I was so nervous I was shaking, but felt comfortable after half an hour. It was good to see him, we caught up on a lot. Work, our families, his depression and he also said that he had concerns about us starting something at the moment due to his unsociable working hours of night shifts-day shifts makig it difficult to spend time together. He was pretty quiet after a couple hours and said at ome point "im trying to think of things to say.. there was loads i wanted to ask you", althoughhe's never been particularly loud or extrovert We said goodbye with a slightly awkward hug, and he said he wanted to be friends for a while and see how things develop, and we need time to feel comfortable with one another again. I do have mixed emotions, and feel he's giving mixed messages Is it normal for a first meeting to be weird? And do you think it'll get better? Thanks... Link to post Share on other sites
energystar Posted March 7, 2014 Share Posted March 7, 2014 I dont know if things will get better with time. I dont know about you, but I would start over. Not repeat the past. I sure hope the messages arent mixed. I wish you all the best of luck though. (hugs) Link to post Share on other sites
SoundedPlum Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 Thank you. Update: we met up for the first time in a year last night. I was so nervous I was shaking, but felt comfortable after half an hour. It was good to see him, we caught up on a lot. Work, our families, his depression and he also said that he had concerns about us starting something at the moment due to his unsociable working hours of night shifts-day shifts makig it difficult to spend time together. He was pretty quiet after a couple hours and said at ome point "im trying to think of things to say.. there was loads i wanted to ask you", althoughhe's never been particularly loud or extrovert We said goodbye with a slightly awkward hug, and he said he wanted to be friends for a while and see how things develop, and we need time to feel comfortable with one another again. I do have mixed emotions, and feel he's giving mixed messages Is it normal for a first meeting to be weird? And do you think it'll get better? Thanks... I think after breaking up, the first meeting will always be weird. You guys lost a little bit of trust (the one you love leaves you), and you haven't talked or seen each other in a long time. Take advantage of this, and try your hardest to make the second time around better. Not all of us are lucky to get this chance. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
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