Onlyafterdark Posted February 27, 2014 Share Posted February 27, 2014 So i separated from my wife of 14 years around june 13 came back dec 13 things have been good.I made a mistake a few nights ago heres a bit of background as to why My wife cheated on me 8 years ago around the time her real father died whom she met once or twice. The night in question i had her stepdad phoning with threats of shooting me etc because the guy she cheated withwas his friend,ive had her brother live with us two years who once reached the age of 15 started getting the police to my door.i told my wife no more its me or him now,she sent him packing.She comes from a rough family,now to the part whats caused the issue,she recently arranged to meet up with her new step brother they hadnt met in 30 years only once.I told my wife i didnt want to get to know anymore of her family as ive had nothing but trouble from them,so shes spent weeks meeting up with him then whilst we was sat watching tv she turned to me abd said my brother wants to meet me tonight.I was a bit hacked off and showed this to her but she went anyway, now im basically being treated as if i dont exist hes here everyday shes txting all the time, arranging meals out nights out etc and basically its doing my head in.Ive offered to get to know them and backed down,saying il support her and maybe i was to hasty judgeing him.But i have informationfrom his auntie hes no good probably looking to get his head down somewhere,he borrows money doesnt return it even borrowed money to pay his dads funeral bill and never did pay.I here what u might say here but my wife knows about some of it and at present i think hes charmed her to thinking hes wonderfull.Whereas me im the evil one feel like im on the verge of going again,im holding my wife in bed every night trying to show her i love her but it doesnt feel like anything im doing is helping.I must say she does have a bit of stuff on her mind too loss of a job her mums health,i know this aint helping but when her brothers around shes different any advice please before its to late for me Link to post Share on other sites
Clay Posted February 27, 2014 Share Posted February 27, 2014 You should have walked away a long time ago. She did not love you then and its obvious she does not really love you now. I married into a toxic family and in the end with my xw cheated and they supported her. They said it was my fault. I personally would run if I was you. Clay 1 Link to post Share on other sites
harrybrown Posted February 27, 2014 Share Posted February 27, 2014 You can not nice your way in your situation. Tell her that is you or him. If she does not choose you, then file and get her out of your life. Sounds like she could be cheating with him. She has cheated in the past. I hope you made her sign an agreement that if she cheated again, that she pays you alimony, etc. Have her leave this time. And tell her stepdad that the next time he threatens you, record it and take him to court. Have your buddy, Guido, the leg breaker go visit him. Link to post Share on other sites
Candy_Pants Posted February 27, 2014 Share Posted February 27, 2014 Your vows call on you to forsake all others. She is choosing her stepbrother over you. Suggest marriage counseling if she's unable to recognize that this is causing a huge strain on your already strained marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Onlyafterdark Posted March 3, 2014 Author Share Posted March 3, 2014 Open and honest communication is the foundation to true intimacy. Have you talked to your wife at any length about this issue? If you have you may need to emphasize how this makes you feel at a deeper level. Yes ive talked to her about it,explained that the past issues with her family caused me to feel like i do now.Its all been to no avail,iam today being kicked out.Ive pleaded with her to listen to me that im ready to support what she does even if she gets hurt,but shes just saying i didnt listen to her in the first place now she feels empty.Could a step brother and sister cheat together i know it sounds sick but she talks as though he understands everything about her.She told me after meeting him the 4th time that he was in a fairly new relashionship and his partner was supporting him to see her as much as poss,the kids who are not his are very protective of him etc.Yet i sat and talked with my wife yesterday he popped round and the dribble came out of his mouth hes not happy at all he was talking about the kids showing him no respect etc my wife cannot see through him and shes chucking our marriage away iam so desperate Link to post Share on other sites
Author Onlyafterdark Posted March 5, 2014 Author Share Posted March 5, 2014 Hey wolverineman dont suppose you have a link to be able to download the above book Link to post Share on other sites
Author Onlyafterdark Posted March 11, 2014 Author Share Posted March 11, 2014 Just to update the post above and if a few ppl could just give there opinion id greatly appreciate! So it turns when we separted 8 mnths ago some of the info above was incorrect the auntie in question who told me all this has lied a little. We had a meeting at the house my wife sees my reasons why i tried to protect her now but has now changed her way of thinking, she says because i didnt tell her in the first place that she cant go back to how we was shes had enough.She speaks of her stepbrother as though he is the best thing since slice bread nobody in her life has ever understood her she claims he is the male her, she spends all her time with him he really cant do anything wrong.anybody any ideas if i can find out if theres anything more any give away signs i should look for Link to post Share on other sites
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