What was this guy thinking?

[notyouraveragebabe]

So I been going to the gym running into this guy for a month now. We saw each other 3 times. Each time we would say hi, and talk about our personal life and he would never ask for my number. The last time I saw him, I figured I should just do it.

 

I told him to exchange numbers to "work out". I didn't know how else to say it. Anyways, he looked confused and paused. So I said, "its ok lets just see each other at the gym". But he said ok and adds himself to my phone and calls himself. So we continued to talk at the gym. We talked about; where we are from, where we live, school, work, family etc. Then he had to go and said I'll text you.

 

So in 3 minutes he text saying I'll be back at the gym tomorrow. I text back and said, "I work Mon, Tues and Friday. 12 hour shifts". He responded the next morning and said, I'll probably be there Wednesday, I'll let you know when I go". I replied ok, see you Wednesday.

 

So on Wednesday he text me at 6pm and said, I'll probably be at the gym tonight, if you're going".

 

I replied an hour later, "I'm going in a bit, what time are you going to be there?"

 

He replied in 1 minute, "well i'm sore as **** so i'll probably play basketball most of the time, but i'm heading over in 20."

 

I replied, " Ill go later."

 

He replied, "ok i'm sure i'll still be there so see you later."

 

I didn't respond. I go to the gym and didn't text him anything. I see him playing basketball and I'm talking to my guy friend while working out. I looked back in the room and he was gone. He didn't come to say hi or bye.

 

What is up with this guy? I am confused.

[Candy_Pants]

You didn't say hello either.....

 

If you asked for his number to be workout buddies, but didn't text him or TALK to him while you were both at the gym, then what is there to be confused about??

 

You should tell the guy you're interested in seeing him outside of thegthe gym. Communication. Directness.

[notyouraveragebabe]

You didn't say hello either.....

 

If you asked for his number to be workout buddies, but didn't text him or TALK to him while you were both at the gym, then what is there to be confused about??

 

You should tell the guy you're interested in seeing him outside of thegthe gym. Communication. Directness.

 

Why text me to work out if he's only going to play b-ball? What's the point?

[erusaelptew]

Candy_Pants is right. Most guys don't "feel" other people like ladies do. When a guy has a convo with other people, it is usually strictly info only. It doesn't sound like either of you sent any "signals" other than you asking for his number, so most likely he has no idea you are interested. In other words, he has put you in the friend zone. You are a lady, you should know how to get out of the friend zone.

 

Personally, It is a major turn-on when a woman can come right out and say what is on her mind. As a dude, this is VERY hard to find.

Edited February 27, 2014 by erusaelptew

[notyouraveragebabe]

Candy_Pants is right. Most guys don't "feel" other people like ladies do. When a guy has a convo with other people, it is usually strictly info only. It doesn't sound like either of you sent any "signals" other than you asking for his number, so most likely he has no idea you are interested. In other words, he has put you in the friend zone. You are a lady, you should know how to get out of the friend zone.

 

Personally, It is a major turn-on when a woman can come right out and say what is on her mind. As a dude, this is VERY hard to find.

 

I already asked for his number. Is this guy dumb? That's the biggest hint that I AM INTERESTED! Geez what more can I do? He should at least put in some effort. I don't think he's that interested if he rather play ball.

[Candy_Pants]

I already asked for his number. Is this guy dumb? That's the biggest hint that I AM INTERESTED! Geez what more can I do? He should at least put in some effort. I don't think he's that interested if he rather play ball.

Maybe you shouldn't hint. Maybe you should communicate. Are you dumb?

[notyouraveragebabe]

Maybe you shouldn't hint. Maybe you should communicate. Are you dumb?

 

He's the man, why can't he be a man? I gave him my number. He should at least text me something like how's your day? What's your plans on your day off? Something more to show interest. I don't want to do it and get rejected.

[Candy_Pants]

Oh. You have rigid views on gender roles.

 

I don't. I asked my husband to be my boyfriend. And made the first sexual moves.

 

I knew what I wanted and I went for it. I guess that's what separates the women from the girls.

 

There are far worse things than rejection. Never trying is one.

[notyouraveragebabe]

Oh. You have rigid views on gender roles.

 

I don't. I asked my husband to be my boyfriend. And made the first sexual moves.

 

I knew what I wanted and I went for it. I guess that's what separates the women from the girls.

 

There are far worse things than rejection. Never trying is one.

 

I did make my move by asking for his number. I am never one to chase down a man. Men usually come after me. This guy is a little different. I handed it to him and made his life easier.

[Candy_Pants]

Okay . Well for what it's worth it doesn't seem either of you are terribly interested in eachother.

 

Wait for a guy who will do a majority of the effort.

[erusaelptew]

You seem to be forgetting the fact that guys and ladies think completely different in a lot of different ways and this is one of them. You might think that a guy would get a clue like that, but sooooo many guys out there are clueless about these kind of signals. You have to be more blunt with most of the guys out there. I was one of them.

 

Also keep in mind that he may already be in another relationship and didn't tell you. That is a normally natural response that guys do for multiple stupid reasons.

[notyouraveragebabe]

You seem to be forgetting the fact that guys and ladies think completely different in a lot of different ways and this is one of them. You might think that a guy would get a clue like that, but sooooo many guys out there are clueless about these kind of signals. You have to be more blunt with most of the guys out there. I was one of them.

 

Also keep in mind that he may already be in another relationship and didn't tell you. That is a normally natural response that guys do for multiple stupid reasons.

 

So I woman'd up and I was more direct and asked if he wanted to hang out sometimes. It's been 2 hours and I have not heard from him. :(:(

I'm sure that is rejection at its finest. If he was interested he would have responded right away. He's probably going to reply later with some BS message to be polite. It sucks. The guys I want doesn't want me and the guys I don't want, wants me. I'm just going to stop trying. This is why I don't chase after anyone.

[topaMAXX]

Oh. You have rigid views on gender roles.

 

She doesn't have rigid gender roles. She has a big ego and does not want to endanger it with rejection.

[Keenly]

I like watching women get frustrated when faced with the hoops that men are usually expected to jump through.

 

Does that make me a bad person

[erusaelptew]

This is for "notyouraveragebabe"... I know this is all confusing and it doesn't seem worth it, but............ It is SOOOOOOO worth it. Think about what you just did. You just made one of the boldest and honorable moves most guys can't do. In a mans world, you would get respect. I respect you for trying.

 

Now, if you want the full affect of a "Mans" world, take that rejection and multiply it by 1000. This is what most guys go through just to find someone that will MAYBE give them a chance. After enough of them, you either figure it out or just give up all together.

 

I figured it out and I am so glad I didn't give up. It doesn't matter if your male or female. Rejection sucks. For me, rejection is my filter. If I am being rejected, that just means that person is not on my level. Chances are, the next person will be on my level. I don't get rejected hardly at all now and that is because I took those bold steps to get where I am today. The same steps you just took.

Edited February 28, 2014 by erusaelptew

[Teraskas]

So I woman'd up and I was more direct and asked if he wanted to hang out sometimes. It's been 2 hours and I have not heard from him. :(:(

I'm sure that is rejection at its finest. If he was interested he would have responded right away. He's probably going to reply later with some BS message to be polite. It sucks. The guys I want doesn't want me and the guys I don't want, wants me. I'm just going to stop trying. This is why I don't chase after anyone.

 

At least you got to the exchanging numbers stage.

Most guys get flat out shot down and don't even make it that far.

Lol, rejection at its finest ? Not even close.

Have you ever tried putting yourself in a guy's shoes in the real life dating scene ?

Getting continuously shot down, or even getting rejected when walking towards a woman trying to make the move, only to hear some bs line such as 'You're not my type / not interested / etc.'

Being emotionally invested in someone, only to find out that she's no longer responding to you and has even removed you from Facebook, despite the fact that you didn't do anything ?

Being sidelined because she had the 'grass is greener' syndrome and found someone else, etc.

Of course women have it much easier both in real life and in OLD.

All you have to do is look cute (or upload hot pics of yourself on OLD) and you've practically got guys drooling all over you.

And if that's not the case (from the perspective of the guy in OLD) you send a well-devised message which has content yet is lost in the avalanche of crap messages along the lines of 'EHRMAHGERDURHOT' or 'HAIUSECKSAY' ? Waiting WEEKS for a response (if you're lucky.) or frequently waiting for ages, only to assume that your message has fallen on dear ears ?

 

Women these days are 'so afraid' of rejection, whilst not having a clue how much harder it is for a guy.

Word of advice I got from another poster: Open yourself up to rejection and stop fearing it. (Seems to be the only success I've been having lately, lol.)

Edited February 28, 2014 by Teraskas

[notyouraveragebabe]

So he responded early the next morning to my text of hanging out and wrote "sure". That's it? OMG!!!! I don't think he's that interested.

 

So to save face/avoid rejection, I replied, "I hope you didn't get the wrong idea. I meant hang out as friends. I just moved into the area and just wanting to meet new people."

 

He replied, "no definitely, hanging out would be cool."

 

I have never gotten rejected before and it hurts. I'm not sure if he really rejected me or he was just being a guy and responded late. But the response "sure" wasn't reassuring.

[Teraskas]

So he responded early the next morning to my text of hanging out and wrote "sure". That's it? OMG!!!! I don't think he's that interested.

 

So to save face/avoid rejection, I replied, "I hope you didn't get the wrong idea. I meant hang out as friends. I just moved into the area and just wanting to meet new people."

 

He replied, "no definitely, hanging out would be cool."

 

I have never gotten rejected before and it hurts. I'm not sure if he really rejected me or he was just being a guy and responded late. But the response "sure" wasn't reassuring.

 

Well, maybe there was a good reason for it.

Did you manage to find out if he already had a girlfriend, and perhaps that could have been the deciding factor ?

[erusaelptew]

You didn't even get rejected.

 

Im going to tell you what I tell my guy friends. Be his friend, find out if he is even worth it and if not, you can reject him if that is important to you. Making friends is easy so use that to help you figure this out. It might take a little work to get together with him so just power through it. You will feel sooo much better in the end.

 

Im still guessing he is in another relationship and is afraid to tell you.

[JDPT]

Maybe he was busy doing his own thing? I'm certain he'll get back to you.

[notyouraveragebabe]

You didn't even get rejected.

 

 

Im still guessing he is in another relationship and is afraid to tell you.

 

I think he might be in a relationship too, but he had so many opportunities to tell me. Geez that's just cruel if he didn't mention it. I searched him up on FB and didn't see any pictures of him with another woman, his account was private, so I was limited on what I can see.

[Noproblem]

This is for "notyouraveragebabe"... I know this is all confusing and it doesn't seem worth it, but............ It is SOOOOOOO worth it. Think about what you just did. You just made one of the boldest and honorable moves most guys can't do. In a mans world, you would get respect. I respect you for trying.

 

Now, if you want the full affect of a "Mans" world, take that rejection and multiply it by 1000. This is what most guys go through just to find someone that will MAYBE give them a chance. After enough of them, you either figure it out or just give up all together.

 

I figured it out and I am so glad I didn't give up. It doesn't matter if your male or female. Rejection sucks. For me, rejection is my filter. If I am being rejected, that just means that person is not on my level. Chances are, the next person will be on my level. I don't get rejected hardly at all now and that is because I took those bold steps to get where I am today. The same steps you just took.

 

You are so inspiring

[Noproblem]

So he responded early the next morning to my text of hanging out and wrote "sure". That's it? OMG!!!! I don't think he's that interested.

 

So to save face/avoid rejection, I replied, "I hope you didn't get the wrong idea. I meant hang out as friends. I just moved into the area and just wanting to meet new people."

 

He replied, "no definitely, hanging out would be cool."

 

I have never gotten rejected before and it hurts. I'm not sure if he really rejected me or he was just being a guy and responded late. But the response "sure" wasn't reassuring.

 

 

No, you didn't get rejected.

As a matter of fact, he is currently dancing "I got her wrapped around my finger"'s dance

 

so, yeah, time for you to play games and make him understand that he hasn't won yet.

[erusaelptew]

Thank you Noproblem. That is very sweet of you.

 

notyouraveragebabe... Sounds like your one step closer to figuring it out

Edited March 2, 2014 by erusaelptew

[salparadise]

No, you didn't get rejected. As a matter of fact, he is currently dancing "I got her wrapped around my finger"'s dance

 

Or maybe he's just a guy with options and notyouraveragebabe is looking pretty average. It's fun to watch a princess who is used to the world beating a path to her door having to work to get what she wants.