Treble Clef Posted February 27, 2014 Share Posted February 27, 2014 I've been afraid to think about it, but this possibility has been staring me in the face for months. There is a strong chance I'll be moving across several continents permanently, and we don't want to do LDR. We both were in LDRs before and they did not end well for either of us. I've been trying to focus on my work, try to find ways so that I won't have to move, but the looming deadline is all I can think of. There are a only few months left and I'm trying to make the most of them, but it's so hard to not just break down crying. I'm anxious and depressed most of the time, and I think he's noticed I've gotten a bit more clingy. I know it's not the end of the world and we can still see each other maybe once a year, but so far this has been the happiest and most companionable relationship so far. I guess I've gotten used to always having someone around that I'm really afraid of the possibility of suddenly being on my own again. Logically I know I'm being irrational, and I know that I still have a lot of growing to do professionally and personally (I'm 24), that there are plenty of people out there, you don't need to be attached to be happy blah blah blah. It just feels like this stage of my life is ending with such finality, and I'm scared Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted February 27, 2014 Share Posted February 27, 2014 I've been afraid to think about it, but this possibility has been staring me in the face for months. There is a strong chance I'll be moving across several continents permanently, and we don't want to do LDR. We both were in LDRs before and they did not end well for either of us. I've been trying to focus on my work, try to find ways so that I won't have to move, but the looming deadline is all I can think of. There are a only few months left and I'm trying to make the most of them, but it's so hard to not just break down crying. I'm anxious and depressed most of the time, and I think he's noticed I've gotten a bit more clingy. I know it's not the end of the world and we can still see each other maybe once a year, but so far this has been the happiest and most companionable relationship so far. I guess I've gotten used to always having someone around that I'm really afraid of the possibility of suddenly being on my own again. Logically I know I'm being irrational, and I know that I still have a lot of growing to do professionally and personally (I'm 24), that there are plenty of people out there, you don't need to be attached to be happy blah blah blah. It just feels like this stage of my life is ending with such finality, and I'm scared I'm very sorry to hear this, OP. What's necessitating this move, if I may ask? And why permanently? The slightly silver lining here is that if you both logically know that LDRs don't work for you, you won't force it on yourselves. That's a very difficult but mature and sensible decision to make. If there's little to no chance that you two could close the gap someday, and not enough possibility to visit each other in the meantime, then you're wise to move on. Some relationships teach us things and prepare us for future relationships; this may be your chance to experience something wonderful and new when the time is right. When one door closes, another opens...so they say. Best of luck to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Treble Clef Posted February 28, 2014 Author Share Posted February 28, 2014 ^ I came over to the US for college (that's how we met) and after graduating you're given about a year to work, after which you'll need some form of visa in order to stay. As you might know, now is a pretty crappy time to be job hunting; many of my local friends are having enough trouble as it is. I probably shouldn't say that it's a permanent move because no one knows what's going to happen in the future. I just know that it'll be a lot harder to come back for any extended period of time. Unless I extend my studies, but then the problem will just be postponed. Being mature sucks 1 Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted March 1, 2014 Share Posted March 1, 2014 There is a strong chance I'll be moving across several continents permanently I'm not sure I got it right. You are now in the US where you went to study, and then extended the stay for a year after your studies. You met him there and soon you should go back to your country, when that year extension is over. Now, how much do you really want to stay? Would you go out of your way to be with him? If so, do that. You could buy a page in a newspaper or be a guest in some TV show. You name it. There are so many companies that would take a chance for some free publicity... If you'd rather have a quiet life, just fly quietly back to your country. Link to post Share on other sites
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