iDrumKing Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 So I'm still fresh out of a relationship (1 month) of 2 years . This girl that works with my ex girlfriend has contacted me out of nowhere asking me how I was. I guess news about relationships spreads like wildfire. Out of kindness I responded. Now some men would be happy with the female attention they get after a breakup, but I'm not ready for it. I'm reading how the conversation is going between the girl and myself and I think that SHE thinks I'd like to get to know her, but I'm seriously keeping it platonic. I'm not ready to explore... yet. What should I do? Because I don't want to lead her on. Link to post Share on other sites
oz-missy Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 Be honest with her. If you're interested in a friendship with her - tell her so. If not, just thank her for her interest but you are not ready to venture into the dating world yet. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 If you keep things strictly platonic and at arms' length between the two of you, you aren't 'leading her on'. If she interprets normal acquaintance behaviour from your end as something else, it's on her, not you. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
David87 Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 Just keep the relationship platonic, maybe in the future you'll like this girl. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 Casually mention that you are still healing & that you aren't interested in a new relationship right now. Don't tell her this but If there comes a time when you would like to get back out there, & you would like to go on a date with her, call her. She may not be free but hey, you have to work through this on your own time frame. Link to post Share on other sites
Hornylildevil Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 You are very wise, friend-o. Men should NOT rebound date and I say this from personal experience. Tell her what you said here. She should get the point. Link to post Share on other sites
mrs rubble Posted February 28, 2014 Share Posted February 28, 2014 I'd avoid her like the plague if I were you. She works with your ex. Who's to say she's not your ex's "spy" ? Link to post Share on other sites
Author iDrumKing Posted March 1, 2014 Author Share Posted March 1, 2014 I'd avoid her like the plague if I were you. She works with your ex. Who's to say she's not your ex's "spy" ? What motives would you think she would have to make this "new girl" a spy? She's the one that broke it off with me. Just curious. Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted March 1, 2014 Share Posted March 1, 2014 All you can really do is ignore her. But even that doesn't help sometimes. I have a real problem saying no to women I'm not interested in who've been sweet to me. Link to post Share on other sites
NYC-BigKat Posted March 1, 2014 Share Posted March 1, 2014 If you keep things strictly platonic and at arms' length between the two of you, you aren't 'leading her on'. If she interprets normal acquaintance behaviour from your end as something else, it's on her, not you. Yup this is true just be friends with her & don't do anything in case you'r the wrong one & she only wants to be friends too so wait & see if she says stuff to u that means she wants to date. Link to post Share on other sites
herself Posted March 2, 2014 Share Posted March 2, 2014 If u continue to talk to her...do not initiate any conversation at all. Or you can politely explain that since she works w/ your ex you wish not to keep in touch as you are trying to move forward & not keep mutual acquaintances. Talking to an associate of your ex could keep your ex in your mind longer than needed. Let this girl know its nothing personal & maybe in distant future you can be friwnds but for now you just need time away from mutual friends & contacts. Keep it polite & simple. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author iDrumKing Posted March 2, 2014 Author Share Posted March 2, 2014 If u continue to talk to her...do not initiate any conversation at all. I ended up explaining to her that any contact with people associated with my ex is something I'm trying to avoid. She was hurt... but understood. I got too much on my plate right now to be dealing with relationships right now. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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