ex Posted January 23, 2005 Share Posted January 23, 2005 I've read that it's because women tend to have a better emotional support network, ie they tend to have more close friends outside of the relationship to lean on. And true, I don't know what I would have done without my friends after this breakup, but I don't know, I'm pretty sure that all my exes have suffered a lot less than I have. (Even if they were heartbroken, devasted, etc. etc.) Any opinions on what gives with this so-called common wisdom? Link to post Share on other sites
Chrono Posted January 23, 2005 Share Posted January 23, 2005 I also wondered about this too. Never got an answer. Maybe women let go of things easier than men do. That's my guess. I heard from my teacher that women are more resolute than men. When they want to do something, they'll do it. When men want to do something though, they aren't sure whether they want to or not. It's still a mystery to me though. -Chrono Link to post Share on other sites
hooghie Posted January 23, 2005 Share Posted January 23, 2005 based on my own experiences and seeing so many other relationships- I have come to this conclusion (may be wrong)- women typically fall faster than men- even if the man is the one initially interested- the woman falls for him faster than he falls for her, BUT- if and when a man lets loose of his gaurds and falls for the girl- he REALLY falls and so it is very hard for him to get over it. The male ego plays a big part too- rejection to a man is very difficult. Link to post Share on other sites
mixwell Posted January 23, 2005 Share Posted January 23, 2005 its simple.. because women are heartless bltches !! j/k I dont know I think its more of a possesion thing with us guys.. We still want to be there and protect them I guess because we feel like you women can't fend for yourself ? Thats how I feel sometimes like my ex girl needs me there to guide her sometimes.. I have no clue thats what I think is a possiblity.. After are we are mammals and have natural instincts... peace Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 23, 2005 Share Posted January 23, 2005 it is a little of all the above posts i think: the other thing anyone failed to mention is that women are on avg more emotionally strong than men are. men tend to be physically stronger but emotionally weaker than women. This does not mean that men do not have emotions, I believe we do hve them just same as women but we find it harder to deal with and express those emotions. There are many physicially strong men out there but few emotionally strong ones. If you are an emotionally strong man you will have women all over you, I don't care if you look like Qwasimoto. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 23, 2005 Share Posted January 23, 2005 Agree with you all. Good thread topic. Men tend to hold it in...They have better control over their feelings and somehow - and I truely envy this part - can completely put it out of their heads and go on surviving. I know there have been times I wish I could do that. Women tend to just react and DO. We talk out how we feel, we need that closure to close our hearts. Women cannot handle things to drag out. Has to be dealt with so we can move on, not knowing wtf is just the worst!!! Men, takes a while to get it but once they've got it they move on it. Generally speaking when it comes to relationships... Link to post Share on other sites
poister Posted January 23, 2005 Share Posted January 23, 2005 I'm actually surprised at this thread - I've never heard that men take breakups harder than women. Nor, I guess, have I heard the opposite, but I would have thought, from personal experience and anecdotes, that women took it harder than men. Nonetheless! Reasons. In my experience, men are usually introspective, whereas women are verbally reflexive. I think that due to societal norms, it is easier for women to establish coping strategies to deal with anything - we take baths, we go get massages and pedicures, we journal and we eat ice cream and drink blender drinks with our girlfriends who all say, "Honey, he was a jerk anyway!" Men, on the other hand, (and this is admittedly a generalization) have fewer socially acceptable coping strategies. I've not known men tospeak ad infinitum with their guy friends about their relationships (though sometimes with female friends). With fewer ways of dissipating the pain of the relationship's loss, the process possibly simply takes longer. Another thought on this. I'm a grad student in psychology, and I remember an undergrad class on interpersonal relationships wherein we learned that in heterosexual romantic relationships, men are more likely to adopt the relation style stereotypical of women than vice versa (e.g., talking a lot rather than say, playing basketball every night). Perhaps because the relationship plays out in a style more familiar to women, they are subsequently more able to relate that loss to their day to day life, whereas men, who then have to try to deal with the loss in a style foreign to that used in the relationship itself, face more obstacles... (Can you tell my analysis of this isn't fully thought out yet? Food for thought though!) Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 23, 2005 Share Posted January 23, 2005 Originally posted by poister Men, on the other hand, (and this is admittedly a generalization) have fewer socially acceptable coping strategies.. This is not a generalization, it is true most of the time. I've not known men tospeak ad infinitum with their guy friends about their relationships (though sometimes with female friends).. This is totally true. With fewer ways of dissipating the pain of the relationship's loss, the process possibly simply takes longer. This is a good conclusion then cause we internalize the loss and women externalize it. Link to post Share on other sites
ex Posted January 23, 2005 Share Posted January 23, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale men tend to be physically stronger but emotionally weaker than women. This does not mean that men do not have emotions, I believe we do hve them just same as women but we find it harder to deal with and express those emotions. Given the 2nd sentence up there, I am not sure I understand what you mean by "emotional strength" here. Are you saying that male emotional experiences are somehow less intense? Maybe it's a futile topic, though your comments have been really interesting. Just, I am reading so much lately about how men and women are so different, and damn, I wish I could really really understand the male psyche. I wish I could tag along in a man's consciousness for just 1 day. Link to post Share on other sites
daphne Posted January 24, 2005 Share Posted January 24, 2005 Originally posted by ex I wish I could tag along in a man's consciousness for just 1 day. i don't. i'm afraid of what i might find... Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 24, 2005 Share Posted January 24, 2005 Originally posted by ex Given the 2nd sentence up there, I am not sure I understand what you mean by "emotional strength" here. Are you saying that male emotional experiences are somehow less intense? No, what I am saying is that women are better suited by birth in dealing with their emotions and feelings. men are not, we tend to discount them. Women's world revolve around emotions, feeelings, relationships, etc.... What i'm trying to say is that when it comes to the emotion/feeling areas of life women tend to fare better just cause they are built that way. An example would be a man who becomes violent physically because something is bothering him really bad and cannot express this verbally. Link to post Share on other sites
Isabella82 Posted January 24, 2005 Share Posted January 24, 2005 I would just like to say that I have often wondered why people on LoveShack say that women deal with break ups better then men. I actually think it is the opposite, or maybe thats just because guys have a better way of hiding their feelings. It just seems like every guy I talk to about my break up, they always say oh who cares, don't let it bother you, so on and so on. However my older brother, he broke up with his ex probably about 5 years ago and since then he has not gotten emotionally attached to any girl. He is still in love with her, but he will never tell her. She has already moved on, and I think it is more his ego that will never call her up and tell her he misses her. It always makes me wonder if my ex thinks that of me, but I don't want to get my hopes up to high. He was a pretty emotional guy, he cried to me when he first told me he loved me, and he has cried to me during some fights that we have had, but when he broke up with me, I was in tears and he was just so cold. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 24, 2005 Share Posted January 24, 2005 Originally posted by Isabella82 I would just like to say that I have often wondered why people on LoveShack say that women deal with break ups better then men. I actually think it is the opposite, or maybe thats just because guys have a better way of hiding their feelings. I think also ISABELLA82 that one must keep in mind that about 75% of the time it is the woman who decides to end the relationship with the man. Be it a LTR or marriage. We need to take this into acct also. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 24, 2005 Share Posted January 24, 2005 I'm actually surprised at this thread - I've never heard that men take breakups harder than women. Nor, I guess, have I heard the opposite, but I would have thought, from personal experience and anecdotes, that women took it harder than men. When men fall, they fall hard....Good and bad. Difference is once a guy opens up his heart he will take a very long long and I mean LONG time to feel for anyone as deep as he did the first time around. I could be totally wrong on this so don't quote me on this. Men take it just as hard as women...We just express it OUT, and cry....They hold it in and wanna punch something or someone! But...Some men, if comfy enough will talk about it all, but mostly with a real REAL close guy friend or a woman friend. I have helped out my guy friends during their worst of moments. I actually think in the end they deal with it better than we do! Link to post Share on other sites
Strike3 Posted January 24, 2005 Share Posted January 24, 2005 Also, women have a much easier time finding a new partner than men do (Doesn't have to be a relationship partner, just someone to date, sleep with, etc). Any decent looking women can go to a club or bar and get pretty much anything she wants from a guy without even trying. Guys, on the other hand, have to work to get women, something that isn't the first thing on our minds fresh out of a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 24, 2005 Share Posted January 24, 2005 Originally posted by Strike3 Any decent looking women can go to a club or bar and get pretty much anything she wants from a guy without even trying. Guys, on the other hand, have to work to get women Your are right STRIKE3. i would like to add that even an avg looking girl can get men pretty easily for casual encounters. Once some dudes have their beer-goggles on they will pretty much f*** anything with a pulse. Link to post Share on other sites
ex Posted January 24, 2005 Share Posted January 24, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale No, what I am saying is that women are better suited by birth in dealing with their emotions and feelings. men are not, we tend to discount them. Ugh, sorry to be so dense, alphamale, but: if men are able to discount, doesn't it make it all that much easier? Or are you saying that the pain is there, but because there is some kind of repression, it is somehow worse, though not experienced as pain??? If a man feels indifferent because he is repressing pain, isn't that consequentially the same as just being indifferent? Don't mean to needle you, just this is the point I'm most interested in seeing fleshed out here. (It's gotta feel good to have all these women hanging on to your words like we are just now, though.) Link to post Share on other sites
BrainRightHeartWrong Posted January 26, 2005 Share Posted January 26, 2005 based on my own experiences and seeing so many other relationships- I have come to this conclusion (may be wrong)- women typically fall faster than men- even if the man is the one initially interested- the woman falls for him faster than he falls for her, BUT- if and when a man lets loose of his gaurds and falls for the girl- he REALLY falls and so it is very hard for him to get over it. The male ego plays a big part too- rejection to a man is very difficult. that sums me up in a nutshell and my last relationship... she told me she had fallen for me after about 6 weeks and i took longer and i bet she isn't quite as devasted as me right now! Link to post Share on other sites
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