Trying new hairstyle but lack the confidence I once had

[Push_Through_It]

So I've always had shorter hair styles all through college and into my mid-20s and one day started wondering what I would look like with a little length. I had tried to grow it out very briefly in high school but I never knew how to style it so I ended up hating it and going back to short.

 

This time I've been more committed and while it's been a huge pain in the ass at times luckily I got through it and am now to the point where I've invested too much time (and ****ty hair days) to give up now. At the same time I find that I'm not as confident as I was with shorter hair - mostly because this is brand new to me and I'm not even sure the exact look I'm going for yet. Tough to explain but basically I want to test something out before I start losing it and if I don't like it I can always go back to the short hair Im confident in already.

 

I know this is a weird topic but have any of you dealt with a decrease in your confidence level when going through a change whether its dying your hair or changing the clothes you wear, etc? Is there anything you would recommend to someone in my position or is it just one of those things I need to deal with and overcome?

[melell]

I get what you mean with this one. I am generally pretty un-phased when it comes to appearance change, so I can't comment from experience.. but I really do think it is just a case of you needing to get used to it.

 

I have certainly felt a decrease in confidence/less settled with lots of other types of change. It always takes me a good while of sameness before I am comfortable and happy with the change.

[Push_Through_It]

It always takes me a good while of sameness before I am comfortable and happy with the change.

 

Ya I can see that. Part of the problem is the lack of consistency as I'm constantly trying new styles, products etc trying to find a look that i really like and I'm not even sure what I'm going for yet. It's like trying to hit a moving target at times. Sometimes I love it, sometimes I hate it.

 

I think another thing is I really haven't been as successful with women since I've grown it out. Now that could be a couple of factors (i.e. I've put on about 7-8 lbs) but I think the big one right now is decreasing confidence since I'm not really getting much validation from the opposite sex.

 

Again I know its a weird topic but I'm hoping to hear any advice you have on dealing with change and what's helped you.

[FitChick]

You could always buy a wig or clip on hair extensions first.

[Stay_Gold]

HAHA...I am in the same situation as you but totally opposite feeling/confidence.

 

Guy here and I have had short hair ALL MY LIFE. About 5 years ago...I really started to like long mens hair styles. Reason for this is I surf and snowboard a lot. I see a lot of the "COOL BRAHS" sporting long (shoulder length) hair styles and it always seemed to look so COOL and SICK to me. I LOVE that whole laidback surfer/snowboarder/beach bum lifestyle and a lot of guys that are into these hobbies...have that long wavy style hair that looks so COOL!!!

 

So...2 years ago...I told myself that I would grow my hair long to match all the COOL DUDES on the beach and mountains.

 

This is the longest I have ever had my hair in my WHOLE LIFE and I gotta say:

 

I LLLLLOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I still have at least 1 more year of growing for it to be at my desired length/fullness which is about shoulder length.

 

I get so much ATTENTION and looks from everyone. Apparently...I think I have the right face shape and features to pull it off and make it look good. I went to the stripclub last weekend and one of the strippers expressed that she thought I was very cute and wanted to hang out and drink with me.

 

My confidence level has gone up so much since growing my hair and I think I might NEVER CUT IT!!!!! Haha lol.

 

Thanks.

Edited March 1, 2014 by Stay_Gold

[regine_phalange]

An old boyfriend of mine had very lovely long, dark wavy hair. He had to cut it because of his upcoming military service months. He didn't handle the change very well in the beginning, but he became accustomed to it, and after his service ended, he kept it short.

[gaius]

I don't know a single woman who looks better with short hair. On that theme, I do know people who have improved their appearance in some way and became uncomfortable with the increased attention they got for it. Like people who lost weight then deliberately gained it back.

[mercuryshadow]

When I transitioned from middle school to high school, I decided to cut my long, thick hair up to almost my chin. I'd don't know what possessed me to do it, especially since I had not yet acquainted myself properly with a flat iron!! I absolutely hated it... It was unruly, was wavy in some regard, really just had a mind of its own. I ended up always pulling it back for about a year until it grew to a reasonable length. It just didn't suit me, though a flat iron would have really helped a great deal!

 

I understand... I think it might help if you find a professional stylist to help you. They might be able to work with your hair and help you to like it more.

[FitChick]

I don't know a single woman who looks better with short hair.

 

Really? You don't know many women then.

 

Plenty of women look good with short hair but it's not for everyone and neither is long hair for everyone. There are many different ways of styling short hair as well. Not everyone has to look like Miley Cyrus.

[FitChick]

People can go shorter or longer gradually to get used to it.

[SoonMyFriend]

I don't know a single woman who looks better with short hair. On that theme, I do know people who have improved their appearance in some way and became uncomfortable with the increased attention they got for it. Like people who lost weight then deliberately gained it back.

 

I'd love take you back to when I had long hair, versus how awesome I look now with short hair.

 

Back on thread...

 

I have gone through similar feelings. I've had lots of different hairstyles and have been through many confidence busting cuts. Like a few years ago I basically had a mushroom cut. It was awful. I had also gained weight, so picture a mushroom cut on a somewhat chubby 25 year old and that was me. It sucked.

 

My best advice is to make sure you fully trust your hairdresser. The only reason I am back to a pixie cut is because I love my hairdresser. And I took it slowly. I went from shoulder length to an angled bob. Then I tried different bob cuts. Then finally, I went pixie. But do it in steps. Talk with your hairstylist about what you want, and what you're worried about. But also trust their judgement.

 

And remember, it will always grow back. I've been there, done that, and time will heal all hair wounds, and it's surprising how quickly people forget how your hair looked a month ago.