Best Friend's Girl

[Troubled1]

My best friend, let's name him "C", has been going out with a girl for quite some time. Well, she told me recently that one of her friends and the family she is staying with ( she is a foreign exchange student ) thinks that she should break up with 'C'. Well, they also think that she likes me. I didn't think anything of it, because she said that was what THEY thought.

 

It turns out that she decided she agreed with them. Now I'm stuck in this situation and I'm about lost as to what I should do. I don't want to tell 'C', because he's really paranoid about his girlfriends. At the moment I'm just letting things play out, and not doing anything. Any other suggestions?

[ImKris]

Troubled1, Your doing the right thing to let things play out. Don't fail yourself.

 

#1. Just like you... if this girl is serious about you she will let you know her seriousness in NO UNCERTAIN TERMS.

#2. Your friend is in the middle of this. Determine now, Right Now ... HOW IMPORTANT YOUR FRIENDSHIP IS. Trust your instincts and you'll have 1/2 an answer-

#3. Don't mix emotions with morals. You have both, ... Think . Trust yourself, listen to yourself.

Good Luck, You'll be OK.

[SuperFantastico]

Do you like this girl? If not just give her the 'only friends' thing

 

If you do, sit on it for like 3-6 months. Hopefully your friend will get a new girl, then you going out

with his ex might not be such a big deal.

[SuperFantastico]

Besides, you would probably only be a rebound anyhow if you go out with her right away.

So risking your friendship(and perhaps a beating) wouldnt even be remotely worth it.

Plus she might try to use you as some kinda weapon against him.

[GirlDown]

Originally posted by Troubled1 Well, she told me recently that one of her friends and the family she is staying with ( she is a foreign exchange student ) thinks that she should break up with 'C'. Well, they also think that she likes me. I didn't think anything of it, because she said that was what THEY thought.

 

 

i sounds like she might have decided she liked you before anyone else decided for her...what would give her friend the family reason to think she liked you unless she gave them some idea...?

 

why else would she even bother telling you?she wanted you to know, and this was how she told you. she wanted you reaction to see which way to go--if you didn't respond the way she wanted, she could have just chosen to stay with your friend and not look stupid.

 

so she does like you, and that can be a good thing. but what if you choose her over your friend and then she decides (or her friends and host family decide for her) that she should break up with you and go out with someone else...maybe even your friend?

 

complicated, isn't it? weigh your options...you friendship may be more worth then this girl who is kind of playing games with you and your best friend.

 

good luck.

[Troubled1]

Thanks guys (and gals).... your advice is much appreciated. I've finally decided to just sit on the whole situation, but if it all goes downhill, I'm going to choose the friend over the girl. Maybe some other time....but definitely not. I think she should break up with him if she feels she shouldn't be with him - but definitely not for me. He's head over heels for her, so if she does, it'll be bad. I wouldn't want to make it worse for him by doing that - it's happened to me and I was crushed. So for all you people who have had the same problem as me, I'm telling you right now that a friend comes before a girlfriend - always. Regardless of my future amendments to this, I want to thank each of you for helping me make my decision. You have all been a great help. Thanks!