Bman21 Posted March 1, 2014 Share Posted March 1, 2014 (edited) Hello all, I broke up with my girlfriend about 4 months ago. When I broke up with her she told me she never wanted to talk to me again and said f&%k you and a lot of hateful things. She has never said this before in our other breakups. We have broken up multiple times and got back together. I sent a text message to her about a month ago apologizing for the things I put her through and had no reply. I miss her very much and I just want to know how she is doing and if she got a job. I would really like some advice on what I should do and if you think she misses me too. She was very much in love with me because she told me how much I meant to her. I was also in love with her but the there were to many things I wanted that she wasn't giving to me. I often wonder if she has become slutty since we have broken up by going to the bars. She was not a slut before but it may have changed to try and get over me. When will I know when she is ready to talk? And do you think she is just done with it all? I want to know what everyone thinks about this and maybe answer some of my questions. Edited March 1, 2014 by Bman21 Link to post Share on other sites
lvroflife Posted March 1, 2014 Share Posted March 1, 2014 You left her. Shrvhasvevery right not to talk to you. You rejected her. What she is doing and with who is none of your concern. She is done with you. You hurt her for the last time. She is FINE. now do what she is doing and live your life. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Winter blue Posted March 1, 2014 Share Posted March 1, 2014 geez OP. Not sure what you are expecting here, you left her and you want her to put up with that and still stick around?! Ask yourself, what do you really want? think about the reason you broke up in the first place. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
guest572 Posted March 1, 2014 Share Posted March 1, 2014 You dumped her, you removed her from your life, that is what happens in a breakup, she is probably very hurt if as you say, she was in love with you and you had broken up before several times. She was probably fed up and understandably very angry. You should give her the space she obviously needs. I often wonder if she has become slutty since we have broken up by going to the bars. She was not a slut before but it may have changed to try and get over me. Really.....? Why would you even think that? Wth. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pickflicker Posted March 1, 2014 Share Posted March 1, 2014 Sounds like by ignoring you, she's getting over you just fine. She probably also realises that your attempts to contact her would be inviting another ride on the rollercoaster. It's in her best interests to continue to ignore you. You can only break up with a person so many times before they realise that they're better off without you. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted March 1, 2014 Share Posted March 1, 2014 (edited) I broke up with my girlfriend about 4 months ago. When I broke up with her she told me she never wanted to talk to me again and said f&%k you and a lot of hateful things. She has never said this before in our other breakups. We have broken up multiple times and got back together. So it sounds like this time she is doing it right. I miss her very much and I just want to know how she is doing and if she got a job. You don't get to. You aren't together any more, right? I would really like some advice on what I should do... move on, as it appears she is doing... ...and if you think she misses me too. Doesn't matter. You aren't together any more, right? I was also in love with her but the there were to many things I wanted that she wasn't giving to me. Then it's good for you that she has removed herself and is moving on, so that you can do the same. I often wonder if she has become slutty since we have broken up by going to the bars. She was not a slut before but it may have changed to try and get over me. I agree with Brightnight.... WTF is this about? Ha ha... wow, you need to work on getting over yourself - it seems like she is. When will I know when she is ready to talk? Doesn't matter. You aren't together any more, right? And do you think she is just done with it all? Seems like it, and that's probably best for both of you, since she wasn't giving you the things you wanted. UNLESS, OF COURSE....... you broke up with her - again - expecting to continue the game, as a way of trying to manipulate her into "giving you what you want." But then she realized she'd had enough and moved on. If that's the case, then start at the top of this post, and read through it again - all my answers still apply. Edited March 1, 2014 by Trimmer 3 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 1, 2014 Share Posted March 1, 2014 The fact that you broke up before & got back together tells me you had an unhealthy dysfunctional relationship. This time she finally had enough & figure out that NC was the only way of getting rid of you for good. I don't know whether you are having the reverse of buyer's remorse or you just can't get over her getting over you, but she's gone & nothing she's doing now is any of your business. The fact that you wonder if she's become "slutty" by "going to bars" makes me wonder about you. Drinking is not a sexual act. Whether she drinks or has sex with anybody else is not your concern. You ended this relationship because you weren't your needs met. Leave her be & go out & find somebody who will give you what you dumped her to find. Going backwards in life is a bad idea. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BDL Posted March 1, 2014 Share Posted March 1, 2014 Seems to me you are emotionally abusive, manipulative and selfish. You really need to work on your communication and conflict-resolving skills if you want future relationships to succeed. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGypsy Posted March 1, 2014 Share Posted March 1, 2014 Leave her alone and let her go. You have no business asking her any of those questions. Hopefully she's moved on and your text didn't set her back. Move on and learn from your mistakes. Link to post Share on other sites
Lifegoezon Posted March 1, 2014 Share Posted March 1, 2014 And this people is why we go NC. Perfect example of the rubbish, selfish breadcrumbs exes throw out. It's all to reassure themselves that we miss them and aren't over them - no respect for our feelings or need for healing. Leave her alone and find a relationship that you can really care about so you don't make the same mistakes again. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted March 1, 2014 Share Posted March 1, 2014 It's a break-up, OP. You don't get to have it both ways. A break-up entails two people carrying on with their lives separate from each other and that means no contact. You don't get to be a part of her life, know about, hear about it, or even concern yourself of it. When you chose to dump her, you forfeited any and all access to her. You can't have it all. If your relationship wasn't giving you what you needed, keep moving forward. Another thing, if you are feeling guilty, don't seek the dumpee to alleviate it for you. Your actions have repercussions and guilt is one of them. It's something you have to live with and in time, hopefully release yourself from it. Do some reading on here, getting perspective from dumpees receiving contact from dumpers. Understand the torment dumpees face and the reasons why dumpers revisit. Don't contact her. Don't interfere with her need to heal and move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
David87 Posted March 1, 2014 Share Posted March 1, 2014 She has every right to ignore you because she got dumped. You hurt her feelings and now it's time for you to move on just like she did. Don't contact her again because by her silence she's sending you the "leave me alone " message. Link to post Share on other sites
VeronicaRoss Posted March 1, 2014 Share Posted March 1, 2014 She has you figured out and is wisely staying away this time. You're crazy self-absorbed, it's all about your needs. And so you miss her, that's the situation you created at her expense. You show little concern for her feelings, if you did you'd respect the boundary she set with you. If you really want to relate to another person, you're going to have to learn what that is about. Therapy, books, whatever. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 1, 2014 Share Posted March 1, 2014 She has moved on and is probably dating someone else now. You broke up with her again and she is probably tired of the whole thing. No she doesn't miss you if she is not willing to communicate. She has moved on with her life (as she should) and I would suggest you do the same. Link to post Share on other sites
LostConfused123 Posted March 1, 2014 Share Posted March 1, 2014 I never understood why some dumpers are so baffled by this. I have almost always been the Dumper and this is why I really thought it through. I knew they would move on and maybe even find someone "better" The thought of them continually pining over me seemed ridiculous. Never pull the trigger unless you are absolutely sure because once you do, they're gone forever! Best of luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts