Separated for 7 mo but feels like I'm back at square 1 today

[Hope4thefuture]

So been married for 11 years, together for 15, and have 3 boys. Been separated for 7 months.

 

Today was the day I have been dreading. I found out my STBXH is dating someone. I feel as if I am back at that first day where he told me he was unhappy and didn't love me anymore.

 

I have slowly been working on myself, going to IC, and spending my time with my 3 boys. Now it feels like all that work is gone. I feel sick to my stomach again and can't eat. I just want curl up into a ball and cry.

 

I just want the pain to stop and be able to move forward, but today it seems like I still have the longest road ahead of me.

[Shocked Suzie]

So been married for 11 years, together for 15, and have 3 boys. Been separated for 7 months.

 

Today was the day I have been dreading. I found out my STBXH is dating someone. I feel as if I am back at that first day where he told me he was unhappy and didn't love me anymore.

 

I have slowly been working on myself, going to IC, and spending my time with my 3 boys. Now it feels like all that work is gone. I feel sick to my stomach again and can't eat. I just want curl up into a ball and cry.

 

I just want the pain to stop and be able to move forward, but today it seems like I still have the longest road ahead of me.

 

 

 

This is normal and as hard as it all is this will happen again and again through out the early stages... You will and do pull through

 

Minimal if poss no contact, via email is recommended (you never know when you might need it as proof) look out for yourself and your kids cause he sure as hell isn't thinking about you.

 

It does get better... This WILL happen 2 steps forward 4 back, you will get over this.

 

Self love, self focus is the key..

 

Xx

[Happy01]

It's normal during a separation to feel hope. Seeing our ex with another dashes that and all the heart break comes back.

 

Every time hurts. The hurt will be as intense as the first time, but shorter. Every time will be shorter.

 

You are strong; you will be o.k.

[Movingforward2]

I found out the same thing yesterday. Although divorced for 8 weeks, it was surreal. I had prepared myself as much as possible and knew it was coming at some point, so I'm kind of relieved its over. What else do I have to fear now? Nothing. I've already lost my wife and kids, so this was kind of the final chapter. Death do us part, really means, until i lose my mind and have a midlife crisis these days.

[Hope4thefuture]

I am sorry you are going through this too. I agree that we might have been prepared for it, but we would have ended up hurt no matter when the truth came out.

 

I think a part of me knew he was dating already. I just never wanted to believe it. I still had a small hope that we might get past this and decide to try again. But finding out this news pretty much seals the deal I suppose.

 

Eventually, we will get past this. At least that what I keep telling myself.

[Movingforward2]

I am sorry you are going through this too. I agree that we might have been prepared for it, but we would have ended up hurt no matter when the truth came out.

 

I think a part of me knew he was dating already. I just never wanted to believe it. I still had a small hope that we might get past this and decide to try again. But finding out this news pretty much seals the deal I suppose.

Eventually, we will get past this. At least that what I keep telling myself.

 

 

I wouldn't think that. There might be a chance for you to get past it. If you really want your family to be together, just like me, how much are you willing to go through?

 

My XW told me she went out on a date when I posted the other night.....i come to find out through a mutual friend the next day that "it wasn't it's all cracked up to be".....well, now I'm back in the middle of this. I like you, am tired of being stuck in neutral, but sometimes it just takes some time. It might take you going to date someone else. I'm not sure what it will take, but you will get through it, just like I will. I'm willing to go through pretty much anything to put it back together. I think my XW is in no man's land as well, but she isn't completely honest with herself either. That's what's frustrating.

 

We didn't cheat on each other, etc, but I can't figure it out. Sometimes it's not meant to figure it out. I'm learning to deal with it.

 

But I know the feeling. It's like a punch in the gut. To think you put all of this into something and then lose it is mind-boggling. Just keep moving forward. Get out there. Maybe date someone. It's no one's business but yours.