Hope4thefuture Posted March 3, 2014 Share Posted March 3, 2014 So my STBXH has been seeing someone. At first he told me he wasn't dating anyone. This was only 3 weeks ago by the way. Then 2 days ago I found out he is dating. I accidentally found out through my oldest child. So first he lied about it. Now he thinks that it is already time to introduce the OW and her daughter to our boys. My boys went out to dinner with them. If he is telling the truth and only been seeing her for a few weeks, isn't it too soon to introduce his new woman to the boys? Or do you think he has been seeing her for awhile? I am not even ready to date, let alone have our kids meet some new man. I am not sure if I am overreacting or not. Any thoughts would be appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
TheBladeRunner Posted March 3, 2014 Share Posted March 3, 2014 Who knows how long he has been seeing her......but if it is only a few weeks he did this at his own peril IMO. I have a 6 month rule, I've seen what my XW has done regarding introducing our child too soon and it hasn't went well for her. Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted March 3, 2014 Share Posted March 3, 2014 I think the real point is that it hurts to know this and guess what? You're allowed to hurt! I think that if you two aren't divorced then neither of you should be able to bring new people into the picture. I think that you need to be divorced and have adequate time for those boys to heal a little from the break up. So, yeah. STBXH was in bad taste. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 3, 2014 Share Posted March 3, 2014 I think it's too soon especially if the divorce isn't final yet. However you know how men are about sex. They don't like to wait too long. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hope4thefuture Posted March 4, 2014 Author Share Posted March 4, 2014 So my STBXH asked if I wanted to go to dinner for his birthday this week. He makes me so confused. I have plans already with girlfriends so I told him no. I hate how he controls how I feel. I give that power, and that bothers me. I will never be able to let go and move on if I keep getting pulled back in. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 So my STBXH has been seeing someone. At first he told me he wasn't dating anyone. This was only 3 weeks ago by the way. Then 2 days ago I found out he is dating. I accidentally found out through my oldest child. So first he lied about it. Now he thinks that it is already time to introduce the OW and her daughter to our boys. My boys went out to dinner with them. If he is telling the truth and only been seeing her for a few weeks, isn't it too soon to introduce his new woman to the boys? Or do you think he has been seeing her for awhile? I am not even ready to date, let alone have our kids meet some new man. I am not sure if I am overreacting or not. Any thoughts would be appreciated. Your (ex) H is selfish and pushing another woman and her daughter onto your kids and that's not right..At all! You two aren't even divorced yet and there's tons of adjustments and emotions going on. What's the big rush for them to meet? Who is pushing? Your (ex) H with the idea or is it his gf/OW pushing him to meet and be around the kids? Talk to them and make sure they know it's okay for them to tell their dad they aren't ready to be around someone else so soon. Hopefully he will respect them, listen to them and allow them to decide when it's time, not force it upon them. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 I think it's too soon especially if the divorce isn't final yet. However you know how men are about sex. They don't like to wait too long. (some men) but I agree with you 100%! Also, it's one thing that he hooks up with his OW, why on earth would he be pushing his kids to meet her and her kid this soon? Obviously (shocker!) he is not thinking of what is best and healthiest for his kids, he's only thinking of himself. So my STBXH asked if I wanted to go to dinner for his birthday this week. He makes me so confused. I have plans already with girlfriends so I told him no. I hate how he controls how I feel. I give that power, and that bothers me. I will never be able to let go and move on if I keep getting pulled back in. Painful as it'll be, only deal with him and talk to him when it has to do with the kids, the house, finances, and the impending divorce. Maybe he is trying to keep the peace, maybe it's manipulation, trying to control how things will go and hoping the D will go easier. Don't beat up on yourself, this man was your husband and father of your kids. It's going to take a while to work through letting go and getting him out of your head and heart. Link to post Share on other sites
TheBladeRunner Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 I think the real point is that it hurts to know this and guess what? You're allowed to hurt! I think that if you two aren't divorced then neither of you should be able to bring new people into the picture. I think that you need to be divorced and have adequate time for those boys to heal a little from the break up. So, yeah. STBXH was in bad taste. Good point Chi, I am beyond the hurt, but there was the "worry". What if he's mean to my kid? What if he's a drunk, and so on. Never considered the hurt really, but the worrying, that's a different story. The guy the XW is with now seems like an OK guy, I have talked with him on numerous occasions and he seems OK. For this In am fortunate, but who knows what the next one will be like. Either way, I won't lie: When the kids meet the OM/OW it does suck eggs. Nobody looks forward to that. Link to post Share on other sites
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