verbatim Posted January 24, 2005 Share Posted January 24, 2005 Alright, Im 19, male, a student at a community college, and confused already. Class just started last week and I got eye contact/smiling a couple times from a girl, I pretty much did the same back after I made sure it was to me. I've had this class once already and have it again on tuesday, so Im wondering what you guys think a good next step would be. I get eye contact from some pretty good girls at the college from time to time, but the problem is Im too much of a chicken**** to do anything from that point on/I dont know what to do. I haven't had a girlfriend so please be specific, I really don't know how all this works and it never seems that simple to me. I dont know if this is good or not, but there is a girl in the class that is an old friend (platonic) actually, I dont know what that word means but I think it fits. Thanks ahead of time for the help, just remember you are talking to a complete newbie when it comes to girls. If I left anything out just ask. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 24, 2005 Share Posted January 24, 2005 Originally posted by verbatim Alright, Im 19, male, a student well you are very young, think of yourself as a rookie QB in the NFL. Class just started last week and I got eye contact/smiling a couple times from a girl, this is good. if good looking girls are looking at you and smiling in means that you are cute esp if you see this a lot. you should talk with her and ask her out within 20 minutes of first saying "HI". don't become friends with her. I get eye contact from some pretty good girls at the college from time to time, but the problem is Im too much of a chicken**** to do anything from that point on/I dont know what to do. I haven't had a girlfriend so please be specific, I really don't know how all this works and it never seems that simple to me. most 19 yr old dudes and dudettes dont have much experience with the opposite sex. you will gain it over time. in 10 or 15 yrs you'll be much more comfortable due to experience and knowledge. you are learning man. take risks and remember first and foremost that women like MEN and not spineless pussies. Link to post Share on other sites
Author verbatim Posted January 24, 2005 Author Share Posted January 24, 2005 Thanks Alphamale, are you sure asking her out in the first 20 minutes is necessary? Im looking at it like this, if I'm in class I dont really have a full 20 minutes to talk, maybe 5 or 10 at the most and then I gotta go to another one right after that. I always thought it was more of a thing after you have talked to her a couple times, but hell, I dont know because I haven't done it. I imagine taking too long puts you on the friends list though, and I dont want that. Just seemed like to me asking her out that quick could give a bad idea. Link to post Share on other sites
poister Posted January 24, 2005 Share Posted January 24, 2005 From a female's POV, quick is bad. (Disclaimer: my opinion only.) he reason I say this, is that when I'm asked out very quickly, I can only think that the guy in question thinks I'm hot and wants to put his junk in my junk drawer. Alternately, if a guy speaks with me a few times prior to asking me out, I then tend to think that he thinks I'm clever, funny, entertaining, etc. (perhaps in addition to being hot), and therefore is wanting to date me b/c he wants to get to know me in addition to any physical component. It's more gratifying. Just my $0.02. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted January 24, 2005 Share Posted January 24, 2005 Originally posted by poister From a female's POV, quick is bad. (Disclaimer: my opinion only.) he reason I say this, is that when I'm asked out very quickly, I can only think that the guy in question thinks I'm hot and wants to put his junk in my junk drawer. Alternately, if a guy speaks with me a few times prior to asking me out, I then tend to think that he thinks I'm clever, funny, entertaining, etc. (perhaps in addition to being hot), and therefore is wanting to date me b/c he wants to get to know me in addition to any physical component. It's more gratifying. Just my $0.02. yes but you forget one thing POISTER. A guy who asks a girl out quickly after their first meeting/talk also comes off as decisive, confident and assertive. These are three MAJOR qualities that women are attracted to in men. Hey and if she says no then he does not spend weeks or months wasting time on this girl. I'd presonally get a "NO" up front then a "NO" after 2 months of working up the courage to ask her out. What if some other dude jumps her before he does? REmember, he who hesitates, masturbates. Link to post Share on other sites
joel Posted January 24, 2005 Share Posted January 24, 2005 dude don't ask her out straight out talk to her more, she could be a total nut or something u couldn't stand. man i am also a rookie and did the ask her straight out and i got a no -maybe and i didn't pursue it anymore as the body langauge and interest level on her part wasn't there, before asking her out she was interested and nice. take ur time Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted January 24, 2005 Share Posted January 24, 2005 When I have an interest in a guy, I absoulutley want him to be straight up and let me know if he is into me like that or not.. There are a lot of guys out there that meet a girl.. they like her.. but then they do that whole wait 3 days to call her or whatever.. I'm NOT about that.. in fact, LOL When I met my now BF he asked for my number straight up.. I gave it to him AND I told him before I left with my friends.. that IF he was into me NOT to wait for 3 freaking days to let me know.. I don't have that kind of time to play games.. So IMO.. if you like her, she is giving you signs of interest.. then yeah.. ask her out Link to post Share on other sites
InsideOut Posted January 25, 2005 Share Posted January 25, 2005 When I met my now BF he asked for my number straight up.. Yes! I like this idea... chit chat for the few minutes that you have... I'd tell her that you'd like to continue this conversation later, ask her for her home phone number, say nothing more, and wait for her response. If she's genuinely interested to know you better, I believe that she'll give you her number... if she hesitates and offers a different option (e.g. if she asks you for your phone number instead)... it usually means "sorry... you're a nice guy, but you're not my kind... good luck!" Even if the girl is in your class and you two will be seeing each other every day anyways, she'll still give you her number if you ask her for it, she likes you, and she wants to get to know you better... Best wishes! Link to post Share on other sites
Nubemeister Posted January 25, 2005 Share Posted January 25, 2005 When I have an interest in a guy, I absoulutley want him to be straight up and let me know if he is into me like that or not.. There are a lot of guys out there that meet a girl.. they like her.. but then they do that whole wait 3 days to call her or whatever.. I'm NOT about that.. in fact, LOL When I met my now BF he asked for my number straight up.. I gave it to him AND I told him before I left with my friends.. that IF he was into me NOT to wait for 3 freaking days to let me know.. I don't have that kind of time to play games.. So IMO.. if you like her, she is giving you signs of interest.. then yeah.. ask her out I want to be like her when I grow up....seriously lol Link to post Share on other sites
browneyes22 Posted January 25, 2005 Share Posted January 25, 2005 I agree with poister...I just struck out big time 'cause I asked a girl out way too fast. And the problem was, I got to know her a bit and realized what an awsome girl she is. However, I still jumped the gun and now fear this chance has come and gone. I'd take some time here...just don't wait forever. Make small talk with her, nothing too heavy or serious. Once all the small talk begins to die off ask for her number, a date to a movie, or however you want to do it. And nothing says you can't pursue other women in the meantime. If you find someone more to your liking, go for it. And I would stick with asking out those that give you attention. It will increase your chances for success. Unless you devise a clever plan to impress a girl that doesn't know you exists. Merin seems to be a godsend for guys. I only wish all women were like this. Unfortunatly I don't think they are. Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted January 25, 2005 Share Posted January 25, 2005 Originally posted by browneyes22 Merin seems to be a godsend for guys. I only wish all women were like this. Unfortunatly I don't think they are. Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted January 26, 2005 Share Posted January 26, 2005 >>>I get eye contact from some pretty good girls at the college from time to time, but the problem is Im too much of a chicken**** to do anything from that point on/I dont know what to do. I haven't had a girlfriend so please be specific, I really don't know how all this works and it never seems that simple to me. <<<< The very first thing you should do is try to get over your fear of rejection. There are some websites out there that can sort of coach you on what to do - try to separate the legit ones from the garbage sites. The main thing is, dating's kinda like everything else in life. Practice makes perfect, though there are a few things you can do to save yourself some trouble. I'd just think of each attempt (successful or not) as a learning experience and go in with the attitude that you're not really looking for a girlfriend, you're just looking for some fun. Try to get as many phone numbers as you can, as many dates with as many different women as you can. Play the numbers game and don't focus on one girl. You'll come across as desperate. Link to post Share on other sites
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