Conversations with young women and when to ask them out

[somedude81]

What are some fun interesting conversation topics to have with girls I meet in class? What do they like to talk about?

 

How do you know when it's time to get her number or do something with her after class?

 

These will be girls that I'll see about twice a week.

 

(Lets keep this a light and fun thread please )

[Frank2thepoint]

So you're saying that girls that pursue an education are totally different from any other girl you would meet? Why not just ask them what they like to do for fun?

[Phoe]

What are some fun interesting conversation topics to have with girls I meet in class? What do they like to talk about?

 

 

 

Well, different girls like different things so there's no right answer for that one, but a good approach would be to think about things that YOU like, that some girls are likely to like as well, and talk about those things, that way you can have something in common.

 

 

It's easier to do that than try to come up with some topic that THEY might like, but you might not be quite as interested in, ya know? Makes it harder for you to really get into it.

[somedude81]

So you're saying that girls that pursue an education are totally different from any other girl you would meet? Why not just ask them what they like to do for fun?

I know what you're getting at, but I just can't straight up ask a girl what she does for fun. Well I can if I work around to it.

 

What I'm trying to do is think of various ways to guide a conversation, without coming across as too intrusive or forced.

 

For example I go to class and see Katy who I've said a few things to in the past.

 

The usual conversation would start something like

 

I sit down next to her, I smile and we say "hi" to each other.

 

Then I try to start a conversation.

 

"Hey Katy. How was your weekend?"

"Oh it was OK, I just worked."

 

The obvious but boring path is to ask her about her work and what she does, but who wants to talk about that?

 

I can't just jump to asking her what she likes to do for fun. Hmm, actually I can.

 

"That sucks. Well, what do you like to do when you aren't working?"

 

So that's an easy conversation for Monday's.

 

Though what can I say on a Wednesday?

[somedude81]

Well, different girls like different things so there's no right answer for that one, but a good approach would be to think about things that YOU like, that some girls are likely to like as well, and talk about those things, that way you can have something in common.

 

 

It's easier to do that than try to come up with some topic that THEY might like, but you might not be quite as interested in, ya know? Makes it harder for you to really get into it.

I can pretty much get into any topic a girl talks about unless it's something really girly. Also most peoples favorite topic is themselves

 

Hmm topics that both of us like as well. That's harder to think about. That really depends on the situation that we are in. If I'm in a gaming club meeting, then topics are really easy to come up with, but if I'm in a business class, how would I know where to start? I don't think I can randomly start talking about my favorite Disney Princess. (Lets see if you get my joke )

[Frank2thepoint]

Yes, just lead the conversation. Ask a little about work, but move past it quickly to fun activities such as hobbies. Movies? Music? Crochet? Stamp collection? There's nothing wrong with asking her what she does for fun. Mention something interesting you did the past weekend, few weekends ago, or some other day during the week. You're revealing a part of yourself, and leading her to talk about herself too. At the same time you are also evaluating if she is any kind of fun herself, if she can hold a conversation, and possesses individuality.

[gaius]

Most of the ones I run into are busy yacking about one stupid video on youtube or another. And not just the fun stupid ones like a baby dancing, but a whole new level of stupid. Such as some talking orange that I hear is popular. I used to try and watch some of the links my sister sent me and I wanted to drill my eyeballs out after 10 seconds most of the time.

[somedude81]

Are there any easy ways to start a conversation with somebody you've never really talked to before?

 

Is there a way to tell when a girl is OK with being asked out so that even if she says no she won't be totally weird out? How much time would she want to talk to a guy before it's OK to invite her to lunch with me?

[clia]

Are there any easy ways to start a conversation with somebody you've never really talked to before?

 

Is there a way to tell when a girl is OK with being asked out so that even if she says no she won't be totally weird out? How much time would she want to talk to a guy before it's OK to invite her to lunch with me?

 

You have to be able to read people and recognize opportunity to do this effectively. If she is responding positively -- answering your questions, asking you questions, giving you more than one word answers, looking at you, making direct eye contact, smiling at you, touching your arm -- those are good signs. She also might just be friendly. To be fair, with some women it can be hard to tell.

 

It can be very easy to talk to people you don't know, depending on the context of the situation. The easiest way is to comment on something happening around you. You can practice on sales clerks, bartenders, and waitresses. "God, can you believe this weather?"

 

What are some fun interesting conversation topics to have with girls I meet in class? What do they like to talk about?

 

Young women are not a collective "they." Women -- like men -- like to talk about things that interest them. So, there is no one answer. To find out what interests these individual women, you have to ask questions in order to find out more about them. If you are interested in having lunch with a woman, I would assume that you want to find out more about her. So, ask questions. This is nothing more than normal conversation skills. Talk about things that interest you or that you did as well. it makes you sound interesting, which is always good.

 

For example I go to class and see Katy who I've said a few things to in the past.

 

The usual conversation would start something like

 

I sit down next to her, I smile and we say "hi" to each other.

 

Then I try to start a conversation.

 

"Hey Katy. How was your weekend?"

"Oh it was OK, I just worked."

 

The obvious but boring path is to ask her about her work and what she does, but who wants to talk about that?

 

Maybe Katy really enjoys her job and wouldn't mind talking about it. How do you know if you don't ask? It is always easiest to follow the flow of the conversation. Here, you can ask her where she works, where it is, what she does, does she like it, what would she recommend you eat there (if it's a restaurant or bar), etc. All of these questions provide you with more information about her as a person.

 

You can also ask directly whether she did x, y, or z. "Hey, did you go to that street festival in X on Saturday?" If you did, and she says no, you can tell her about it. "Oh, it was great because ..... you should really try to go next year." Or whatever. Ask her if she watched Game of Thrones the previous night, or if she's seen Gravity yet, or whether she watched the Oscars. Or "Hey, did you hear so and so is playing at Coachella this year? I'm definitely going to try to go."

 

Though what can I say on a Wednesday?

 

You put way too much thought into this stuff. Don't plan out your conversation. Just go with the flow. Make small talk. if you need to practice making small talk with people, go to Meetup events.

[xxoo]

So that's an easy conversation for Monday's.

 

Though what can I say on a Wednesday?

 

Whatever she talked about on Monday can be a conversation starter for Wednesday. If she said she likes to walk her dog, then you can ask about her dog on Wednesday. "How's Fido doing these days?"

 

Are there any easy ways to start a conversation with somebody you've never really talked to before?

 

Is there a way to tell when a girl is OK with being asked out so that even if she says no she won't be totally weird out? How much time would she want to talk to a guy before it's OK to invite her to lunch with me?

 

Easy ways to start a conversation: compliment her cool pen/bag/style, ask a question ("did you catch the date of the next exam?"), comment on something happening around you.

 

When to ask her out: I'd say the third time you make conversation, with her smiling a little brighter each time you approach her. Flirt but don't ask out right away. Build up the anticipation a bit.

[somedude81]

You have to be able to read people and recognize opportunity to do this effectively. If she is responding positively -- answering your questions, asking you questions, giving you more than one word answers, looking at you, making direct eye contact, smiling at you, touching your arm -- those are good signs. She also might just be friendly. To be fair, with some women it can be hard to tell.

I've always had problems telling apart women who are interested from those who are just being friendly. In my experience, the friendliest girls have been the ones who have boyfriends.

 

I will keep in my how she responds to my questions and if she asks stuff about me. If she doesn't ask anything of me, and gives me the bare minimum answer I take it that she has no interest.

It can be very easy to talk to people you don't know, depending on the context of the situation. The easiest way is to comment on something happening around you. You can practice on sales clerks, bartenders, and waitresses. "God, can you believe this weather?"

Yup, super simple conversation starters. Though I have the most trouble after I gave my opener, and then the conversation drops.

 

Still I have some ideas for conversations for tomorrow.

 

 

Young women are not a collective "they." Women -- like men -- like to talk about things that interest them. So, there is no one answer. To find out what interests these individual women, you have to ask questions in order to find out more about them. If you are interested in having lunch with a woman, I would assume that you want to find out more about her. So, ask questions. This is nothing more than normal conversation skills. Talk about things that interest you or that you did as well. it makes you sound interesting, which is always good.

I was wondering what questions are the best to ask without being seen as coming on too strong.

 

One thing I worry about is that things I find interesting, they wouldn't so I don't really like to talk about myself. Though I can at least try and see if we have any common interests.

 

 

 

Maybe Katy really enjoys her job and wouldn't mind talking about it. How do you know if you don't ask? It is always easiest to follow the flow of the conversation. Here, you can ask her where she works, where it is, what she does, does she like it, what would she recommend you eat there (if it's a restaurant or bar), etc. All of these questions provide you with more information about her as a person.

Talking about work just sounds like a boring conversation, unless she is passionate about it. It's just kind of the easy conversation that anybody would go with, and I want to stand out.

You can also ask directly whether she did x, y, or z. "Hey, did you go to that street festival in X on Saturday?" If you did, and she says no, you can tell her about it. "Oh, it was great because ..... you should really try to go next year." Or whatever. Ask her if she watched Game of Thrones the previous night, or if she's seen Gravity yet, or whether she watched the Oscars. Or "Hey, did you hear so and so is playing at Coachella this year? I'm definitely going to try to go."

Good tips. I should also see what events are happening in my city so it will give me stuff to talk about.

 

Though one thing I remember is that there have been a few times where I went to some cool events and then told some girls about it during class and they never asked questions about it. I know it means that they weren't interested in me. But the whole point of me going around talking to girls is trying to build interest.

 

You put way too much thought into this stuff. Don't plan out your conversation. Just go with the flow. Make small talk. if you need to practice making small talk with people, go to Meetup events.

I like having some plans, mainly for what I can say when there is a lull in the conversation, and also to avoid sitting next to a girl and not having anything in mind to talk about. 99% of the time a girl won't start a conversation with me so it's up to me to break the ice.

[Imajerk17]

Observations about her and then a question. "From the look on your face that exam was too easy for you. How come they didn't give you a tougher exam? ;)"

 

Here's the thing though. If a girl is into you or feels she could be into you (and NO it's not about your looks per se), she will make it easy. She will do her part to carry the conversation. If she is not, then you say the most amazing things ever and it's still not likely to work. Occasionally you'll actually break through with her. It will more likely feel to you like pedalling a street bike up a sand dune though.

 

As an aside though, if you ask a girl "how was your weekend?" she might answer it telling you stories about what she did with her friends, and then she might follow up by asking "how was *your* weekend?". It would be great if you also could say that you spent it doing something fun too... (See where I am going with this? The more interesting your life is away from girls the more you will have to talk to them about.)

Edited March 5, 2014 by Imajerk17

[somedude81]

Whatever she talked about on Monday can be a conversation starter for Wednesday. If she said she likes to walk her dog, then you can ask about her dog on Wednesday. "How's Fido doing these days?"

Heh, yes. But what if we didn't talk on Monday? The reason I mentioned Wednesday because on Monday it makes sense to talk about the weekend. But not so much on Wednesday. I guess I could ask what she has planned for the coming weekend, but then I get the feeling that she might be thinking I'm asking her out.

 

 

Easy ways to start a conversation: compliment her cool pen/bag/style, ask a question ("did you catch the date of the next exam?"), comment on something happening around you.

I've actually done that a few times, if she's wearing some interesting jewelry I bring it up, but the conversation usually doesn't go anywhere

 

When to ask her out: I'd say the third time you make conversation, with her smiling a little brighter each time you approach her. Flirt but don't ask out right away. Build up the anticipation a bit.

Ok cool. So around three times. That way she knows who I am and there is some anticipation.