JamesMay Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 (edited) Hi, When I was working abroad I met this cute girl who was travelling by herself. She was doing an audition for a travelling orchestra and later it turned out she had also recently had a bad breakup. We dated for a week. Two of my best friends were visiting but because it clicked I invited her to join us for the weekend. Turned out she was awesome in every way: she had an amazing sense of humour, she was smart, a musician, had a well payed finance job she was willing to quit for a new life... and the guys adored her. Unfortunately she was only there for a couple of days so obviously it stopped there. It is now almost two years ago but we stayed in touch, mainly through emails (were both not very keen on social media) and I have grown very fond of her. I have had some minor flings since but honestly haven't met any one remotely as interesting. Maybe it was the atmosphere but my friends too still say we were a perfect match every time we dig up old memories (it was one of those perfect holidays). Because I promised I would visit her again I booked some tickets and I will see her in the spring a couple of days. I really dont know what to expect or if we ll even be making out. She doesnt have a guy. She's 31, I am 25. We live about 2000 miles apart but both of us want to move to a more hospitable climate, she s saving up to start her own business, I just finished my masters. If she confirms my gut feeling I would love to go for it but even posting this makes me feel crazy How should I handle this? I know I am already way too excited Edited March 4, 2014 by JamesMay Link to post Share on other sites
WhoreyBull Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 As I say with most things, hope for the best but expect the worst. It's obvious you are into her and she seems to feel the same. Go for it, but keep a level head. The distance can be a hard thing to get over. I think visiting and talking about where exactly "more hospitable climate" are for each of you would be good. You need to find some common ground on that before getting more serious. If you both can agree on where a nice place to live would be, one where you both have opportunities to get jobs and grow, then you can start planning stuff. Though for the most part I'd say take it easy and enjoy the trip. Don't get too caught up in trying to figure out the future after seeing each other twice. Just see what else you have in common and see how you feel after. Best of luck. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 I really dont know what to expect or if we ll even be making out. Were you sharing the room during that weekend you spent together? Did you make out in the past? And did it stop at that? How should I handle this? I know I am already way too excited If I were you, I would start thinking of all the things she might say to counterbalance your excitement. Like "I don't know, I am older, and this might get in the way soon or later". Or anything relating the distance, the place where to live, etc. If you prepare well with all your answers and show you know what you're doing and you have a sense of purpose, she will be reassured. She will feel more comfortable and maybe give in... What kind of business is she going to start? In the music industry? I hope she planned her moves carefully, because I've just heard about someone who started a business in the fashion industry, and it went to the dogs, ending up full of debts. Also make sure where she will start it and if it's going to be her permanent place and see if you can move there too. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author JamesMay Posted March 4, 2014 Author Share Posted March 4, 2014 Yea. We met in a bar, had a couple of drinks and went out dancing together. I went back with her to her hotel. In the morning we started talking (serious stuff, she seemed in a bad place relationship wise and so was I) and made love. After I told her my plans for the week and that she could stay at my apt. She came along and stayed with me for the rest of the week like a perfect girlfriend. She seemed really happy, she was smiling and touching me all the time. On the last night we went for a walk by the sea, she grabbed me and kissed me passionately, thanked me for the amazing time and told me I should visit her. As I was working abroad that year and only got home last year it hasn't happened yet but as I graduated now I feel it's the right time. I think I'll just enjoy the holiday. She already invited me for another festival in the summer so if things go well we can spend some more time. It all feels a little bit too 'perfect' but then again I've never had a click like this. We share the same passions (music, arts, travelling) and goals (starting a business, living near the beach). Unlike most of the people (some with similar hobbies/ambitions) I have met she has a clear professional record, very down to earth and pragmatic approach and not too self-compassionate. I love it Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 Hmm. I'm a bit skeptical about your story. You meet a perfect stranger in a bar and she takes you to her room right away the same night. Too much too soon to me. I know that's how hook ups work and ONS. But the next morning she puts on the perfect girlfriend's garb already? Something doesn't add up. Anyway, good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JamesMay Posted March 4, 2014 Author Share Posted March 4, 2014 Hmm. I'm a bit skeptical about your story. You meet a perfect stranger in a bar and she takes you to her room right away the same night. Too much too soon to me. I know that's how hook ups work and ONS. But the next morning she puts on the perfect girlfriend's garb already? Something doesn't add up. Anyway, good luck. We'll see I think we are both over analyzing it here, but my idea of posting here was more to maybe find somewhat similar experiences, if and how it worked out eventually. Just to be clear: it def started as a one night stand for both of us (I've had a couple to relate and I am sure she has) but I think we were pretty interested in each other after it happened, that's also the reason why we are still in touch oposed to almost all other one night stands I've had. It's not like she was overly possessive or madly in love or anything after the first night. It just felt and looked as if we had been together or even friends for a longer time (we were rarely holding hands or kissing in public), she was enjoying herself and that's why I think my friends weren't bothered by her presence either. There are plenty of ex girlfriends I have been together with for months and some even years where it would have been much more difficult or even akward hanging out in the same situation and aligning interests That's what I meant with 'perfect girlfriend', not that she or I was being overtly romantic or tried effortlessly to be 'perfect couple'. Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 There are plenty of ex girlfriends I have been together with for months and some even years where it would have been much more difficult or even akward hanging out in the same situation and aligning interests That's what I meant with 'perfect girlfriend', not that she or I was being overtly romantic or tried effortlessly to be 'perfect couple'. I hope you're aware that this is working because there's no expectation from either side. That's why it feels "perfect". She's free to do whatever. You are too. Should it turn into a bf/gf relationship, the whole dynamic would change. Unless you are OK with an open couple and she is too. But you just live day by day like that, and not planning much ahead. It's more like a FWB solution. And usually to fill in time until when she finds someone. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts