silly situation?

[JustAGirl]

I got a silly situation on my hands. Me and my bf go to the same university. Since we have a lot of breaks together (and he skips his class if i have a break and he doesn't), we spend most of the time together. I guess it's also obvious that we're a couple so others leave us alone, usually. I really think we need to make other friends. My bf is interested in physics & stuff, and i dont care for that, so i rlly think he needs some "geeky" friends who would share those interests... me, on the other hand, - i simply need more variety. i'm getting bored spending all my breaks alone w/ him. basically, i have to lie to get him to leave me alone. eg today i said i dunna what time i'm going to univ. so that he wouldn't come with me for once. And it was rlly nice to see him at a lecture half way thru the day.

 

He gets really jealous if i talk to other ppl (esp. guys) and he is present.

 

So... my Qn is how to keep him... i do love him... but how to create a circle of friends as well... cuz i do need more people... and i think so does he, he is simply afraid to detach of me & go out there on his own. (he had a group of friends in highschool who all went to a diff. univ.... he went to this one to stay with me.)

 

am i seeing something wrong here? .... *confused!!!*

 

thanks

[Tony T]

You really can't tell your boyfriend what he needs but you absolutely must take charge of your own life.

 

You have no alternative but to tell your boyfriend just what you feel your needs are as far as friends and activities go and you need to tell him just how you're going to go about this. You cannot let his jealousy and possessiveness adversely affect your life.

 

Assert yourself well in this matter and make it very clear to him in a loving way that you want to make the very most of your college experience (you will never get these days back again) and you want to make friends with others who have a variety of interests.

 

Make sure you let him know this will only make your relationship happier and healthier. Maybe he really needs to be told that if he continues to smother you and keep you from doing other things, he will foreshorten the relationship significantly.

 

I personally think you have the right idea and you are making the right moves. Your college years should be rich with people, activities and experiences. That's really what it's all about. With lots of other things going in your life, the time you spend with your guy will be all that much more exciting.

 

As for him, it seems he is pretty smitten with you but maybe your new position will force him to go and find other interests outside the relationship...which will be good for him as well.

 

If you continue to be bored with the way things are, chances are good you would want to terminate this relationship fairly soon...so what you're actually doing is helping save it for the benefit of both of you.