peanutgallery Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 My husband and I have our issues and I have even considered divorce. Well last night something happened that worried me on many levels. Our son who is 8 woke up scared about seeing shadows. I was deep in sleep but apparently my husband heard the first time son yelled for me. So all I woke up too was my husband screaming "WHAT DO YOU WANT?!" I was startled. I woke up and I heard our son crying loudly. So I ran like a bat out of hell for him. I found him at the top of the stairs crying saying "mommy I think I saw a monster. The shadows are scaring me!" So I comforted him and brought him into our room and let him lay down with us. He was asking me if the shadows were really someone outside. I told him no no sweetie. (This is about the 5th time this happened in the last 2 months). My husband kept hearing our son talking about this and he screamed out "I think it's about time he goes and sees a psychologist. This is ridiculous!" So I grabbed his arm to signal to keep his mouth shut. And he just kept on... My questions. Do parents REALLY think he needs to see a therapist? And 2) did my husband react in a problematic way? Link to post Share on other sites
Smthn_Like_Olivia Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 I think your husband needs a therapist. Or some parenting classes. Our job as parents is to comfort and reassure our children when they're scared. Not yell at them for their fears. I wouldn't rush to a therapist, but try and talk to him and figure out what triggered these episodes. Maybe get him a night light or something comforting to sleep with at night. Reassure him that everything is okay. Is his room upstairs and yours downstairs? Being alone at night can be frightening for a small child. Mine still sleep with the tv on. Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted March 4, 2014 Share Posted March 4, 2014 (edited) Night terrors are common amongst children. Unless you have someone breaking into your house. Of course you might live in a haunted house. Seriously. Edited March 4, 2014 by FitChick Link to post Share on other sites
Zimber Posted March 5, 2014 Share Posted March 5, 2014 Sounds like the father is the monster. Seriously if daddy dearest yells at your son like this regularly, it's possible he's causing the boy some deep anxiety. Need to tear a strip off the huzbo when you are alone! Z 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Shepp Posted March 5, 2014 Share Posted March 5, 2014 No, its a massive overreaction!! I took my nephew rock climbing only last summer and (he was 7), he loved the climbing and then we were going to have some sandwiches on the top of this big rock before we climbed back down and he started crying his eyes out......because there was a dead tree that he mistook for a giraffe!? (it actually looked less giraffe and more dinosaur but I refrained from pointing that out! ) I showed him it wasn't a giraffe and he was happy as anything again. He's just a kid, same as your boy, kids get scared of random stuff, it doesn't mean they need therapy! Or to be yelled at! He's not still gonna be scared of it at 15, it just one of them short term things (and for the record I think a fear of shadow people is much much more valid than a deep psychological fear of giraffes! ). When I told my brother and SIL, they decided that it was DEFINETLY time for another trip to the zoo - took him on one of those little safari things where the giraffes come up to the car....he's over it now, quite likes them! To be honest I think the little fears kids get are a great opportunity to teach them about facing your fears in later life, or at least being pro-active and doing something to counteract them! Maybe your husband could of chilled out and spent sometime with your little guy the next day "securing" your house - even if it was just teaching him to build a little picket fence or to make something out of wood to hang from his window - yelling never makes anyone feel better, at least that way your spending some quality time with him, whilst teaching him some DIY skills and at the same time teaching him to look for solutions for your problems...dunno, I'm no child psychology expert, Its just what I would do if it was one of my boys in 8 years time! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted March 5, 2014 Share Posted March 5, 2014 No, its a massive overreaction!! I took my nephew rock climbing only last summer and (he was 7), he loved the climbing and then we were going to have some sandwiches on the top of this big rock before we climbed back down and he started crying his eyes out......because there was a dead tree that he mistook for a giraffe!? (it actually looked less giraffe and more dinosaur but I refrained from pointing that out! ) I showed him it wasn't a giraffe and he was happy as anything again. He's just a kid, same as your boy, kids get scared of random stuff, it doesn't mean they need therapy! Or to be yelled at! He's not still gonna be scared of it at 15, it just one of them short term things (and for the record I think a fear of shadow people is much much more valid than a deep psychological fear of giraffes! ). When I told my brother and SIL, they decided that it was DEFINETLY time for another trip to the zoo - took him on one of those little safari things where the giraffes come up to the car....he's over it now, quite likes them! To be honest I think the little fears kids get are a great opportunity to teach them about facing your fears in later life, or at least being pro-active and doing something to counteract them! Maybe your husband could of chilled out and spent sometime with your little guy the next day "securing" your house - even if it was just teaching him to build a little picket fence or to make something out of wood to hang from his window - yelling never makes anyone feel better, at least that way your spending some quality time with him, whilst teaching him some DIY skills and at the same time teaching him to look for solutions for your problems...dunno, I'm no child psychology expert, Its just what I would do if it was one of my boys in 8 years time! Shepp, you are the most awesome dad! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Shepp Posted March 5, 2014 Share Posted March 5, 2014 Shepp, you are the most awesome dad! :D I wanna be! I think all parents make mistakes here and there - gonna give it the best shot I've got though! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted March 5, 2014 Share Posted March 5, 2014 The parent (father) is the one in need of therapy. Tired and exhaustion are sometimes fail safe excuses for treating others unkindly. Sadly the repercussions are never easy to mend. Dad owes son an empathetic apology. Some fears are necessary for survival. Limiting the child in expressing it is unhealthy. Refrain from justifying your husbands rant. HE needs to own it. Link to post Share on other sites
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