Can we compromise about his time with his online game?

[Owl]

Guest-

 

If you really are her husband, and you've really made the choice to make her and your family the priority in your life, over the game, then I heartily commend you!!!

 

And honestly, I hope that you do get the opportunity to work things out in the future so that the two of you can game together perhaps. Not doing things together is what nearly tore my marriage apart...and we both gamed! The problem was, we didn't do it TOGETHER. And when it came down to it, the biggest issue I personally had with her when she was logging the massive hours was that the GAME was her priority...not her family, and not our marriage.

 

Hopefully, the two of you can work things out so that you do things TOGETHER. Take what happened in my case as a warning...don't think it can't happen to you.

 

But, again, congratulations on making the choice to make your wife and your family your priority!!

[Pocky]

Personally, I wouldn't stop playing computer games, but since I'm not married to either one of you, you do whatever works for you.

[Lil Honey]

Originally posted by Guest

 

To the other people on this board, I thank those of you who had constructive comments and suggestions.

To the others who think I cannot compromise and that I am just a kid playing games. Well you dont know me or my wife and I am sorry for the situations that you had in your past, but to make blanket statements is just wrong.

 

Hmmm . . . now that was interesting . . .

 

The thing is, "Guest," the folks (and their comments) here are just like a computer, so I'm sure that you will understand the concept. The output is only as good as the information that is put in. *shrugging*

 

You are right. I don't know your wife, but apparently you don't either or she wouldn't have had to post this topic to begin with.

 

As far as not compromising, you didn't. You quit. That isn't compromising. That is an all-or-nothing thinking. What that will get you is resentful of her because you are now not doing what is important to you. She simply asked for a balance.

 

And, yep, I think it is child's play.

[Ladyjane14]

This really is too bad. Any path taken that leads to resentment, can only result in.......RESENTMENT.

 

Y'all need to get back to the drawing board on this one. Try using the litmus test of: "Am I adding to or subtracting from my partner's life?"

[Owl]

Wow,

Am I the only person here on LS who's marriage was almost destroyed by online gaming?? I must be far more pathetic than I thought!

[FolderWife]

Man the internet sucks! If it's not porn wrecking relationships, it's online games! Men get on the internet and ignore their family with games and porn, and women get on the internet, and find lovers who'll not ignore them for games and porn!

 

Whoever came up with the internet should be shot

[Lil Honey]

Originally posted by Monday

Whoever came up with the internet should be shot

 

That was Dan Quayle, wasn't it?

[AlexisHildegard]

[font=arial][/font][color=violet][/color]let me tell you what I think about this online gaming!! My husband, the perfect man i think, has one major flaw, and that is his addiction to this stupid online game called "quake". he can literally play it for 8 hours a day. He knows that I get mad, and sometimes he is good about stopping, but a whole sunday can go by with him playing it! he also works with computers and I know that he's just "relaxing' while he is playing...but still 8 hours?

anyways.

Sometimes i think that he just plays it to make me mad!! So, we started something. In the morning, on Sundays, we plan our day and what time we should start doing things together, such as going for a drive, skiing, or watching a move at home. that seems to work. he also knows that if he keeps playing his game, he won't get laid!!

ha!!

good luck with the gaming...if you want to really really really annoy him, get one that you get addicted to, or pretend to really like the one he is playing, then it will def. make him stop!

[200000me]

Yep, I agree it is an addicting thing. My hubby playing Dark of Age Camelot. After quite big arguments he tried to ask me to play one or two hours a night. Well, it took me 5 months to think about it and finally I agree to try, just to see how he can get addicted to it. I tried for few days now and honestly, its not my thing. I played one or two hours and get bored. The funny things, for a week now, he help me to make bed, vacuum, do dishes and clean bathrooms so he said when I get back to work I can play with him. This is because I've told him that if I play that game like him, I will have no time to do housework! It just funny coz' he do anything to get me to play the game. To appreciate what he is done, I play for one or two hours a night and told him that HIM and the HOME are still my priority. That because I am not going to play the game until I am done with cooking dinner and certain things. He agreed on that. So far its work and he seems happy about my compromise and I am also happy coz' he wants to help me on the house chores.

[Lil Honey]

Help me to understand this. Why is it "understandable" for people to understand that if their spouse spends their days working with computers that they would want to play on them at night.

 

I sit in front of one all day and I certainly wouldn't want to be in front of it all night. I think it would be like me working at a pizza place. After making pizzas for eight hours, why would I want to go home and make and/or eat a pizza?

[Pocky]

Originally posted by Lil Honey

Help me to understand this. Why is it "understandable" for people to understand that if their spouse spends their days working with computers that they would want to play on them at night.

 

I sit in front of one all day and I certainly wouldn't want to be in front of it all night. I think it would be like me working at a pizza place. After making pizzas for eight hours, why would I want to go home and make and/or eat a pizza?

 

I don't see the logic behind automatically assuming that because someone works on computers during the day, that they would want to play on computers at night.

 

However, I also don't see the logic in assuming that because someone does work on computers all day, that they wouldn't want to play on computers at night.

 

I'm on a computer all day and I play on a computer at night. I find it enjoyable. You don't. Neither is wrong.

[Lonestar]

My ex-husband hated me b/c I was addicted to Half-life when we were married.

 

Now I'm addicted to Half-life 2, but I'm single. LMAO!

[Owl]

The problem isn't the game....it's when the game takes over EVERYTHING else. I too work on computers during the day, and like to game at nite. And MY gaming wasn't the issue in our house...it was her gaming that nearly destroyed our marriage. Because she didn't do anything BUT game. I took over all of the household duties, she played all day and nite. She got to where she resented any intrusion of the real world into her gaming.

 

Even once she cut way back on the number of hours she played, she still used the gaming to replace aspects of reality. She had NO real friends...rarely left the house for anything. When it came down to it, she began an online affair with someone she met in game as well.

 

Gaming can be a fun distraction...it's only when it's used to replace aspects of real life that it becomes an issue. Funny thing is, we still play....but we don't play like we used to! We've got some pretty set times on when we get on and off game...and we're together in game and out. And...we've made sure that we both have OTHER things that we're interested in doing...together and not...outside of the game.

[PFPunks]

Monday! Ha, thats so true.

 

I just wanted to share my experience. My game was Diablo 2 back in the day. Used to play it while my g/f was forced to sit and watch tv and entertain herself. I was high level and one night I just took the cd out and broke it. Cold turkey. Never looked back. Well thats not true, everytime I see it I want it, or many other games like it. Its hard to do but it is possible. If any of you have been able to find a compramise, thats AWESOME. However I do have to say that sometimes its not possible and you just have to decide. Also the longer your without it the easier it gets.

 

Love you all

 

PS. Screw all you "Better then thou" types that would make fun of people like us. I think we find meaning and power in our games. Meaning in that we dont have to deal with the everyday manotiny (no idea how to spell that) of life, and power in that we can actually change the course of our online lives. Much more exciting!!!!