2 months post break up depression/anxiety

[Mama1986]

I broke up with my ex 2 months ago. We dated for 2 1/2 years. We were VERY in love and experienced a lot with each other! He's an alcoholic and he even quit drinking for a year during our relationship because he didn't want to lose me. I have never been so close to a man before in my life! I dropped everything when his mom got sick and didn't leave his side when she was dying. I was even there right beside him as she took her last breath. I loved him with every fiber in my body! He flirted with girls on facebook and I found a message to a woman who lives two hours away from us asking if they could meet up. It was a dating website. He denied it and went crazy because he was so depressed. He said he didn't realize how much I meant to him. So I gave it another shot but his drinking started to get really bad! He put me down and during the 2 1/2 years that we dated I gained 40 lbs. and I felt like he wasn't attracted to me because of it. Before we started dating I had just gotten a job post college and was an xray tech. living in a beautiful apartment just me and my daughter. I ended up having a nervous breakdown two years ago and had to quit my job and move out of my apartment into a low income apartment. After he started drinking really bad I talked to him about it and he called me a dead beat. Even though I have had 5 job interviews in the past few months. It is hard to find a job that fits around my daughters schedule. My daughter is my first priority and I don't want her to have an alcoholic in her life. I left him 2 months ago and he has begged me back a couple of times last month and even wanted to kill himself. I KNOW that I need to get away from him! But it hurts so bad! To top things off he has a new girlfriend that he has been with for the past 5 weeks and I was told that she has genital herpes and hepatitis C. I now will never touch him for health reasons but good God why am I hurting so much over someone who is obviously not worth hurting over! On the bright side I am exercising with my best friend and lost weight! I have a support system which includes family and friends. I know I am already a strong woman and this will only make me stronger! I am just having good days and bad days and I'm hoping that posting here will help! Thank you for taking the time to read this!

[KaliKatherine]

Good for you for having the strength to move on from a bad relationship for you and your daughter's sake.

 

Although it's clear your head *knows* this man was no good for you, your heart is having a hard time getting on that same wavelength. Obviously you must be a compassionate, forgiving sort of person ( helping take care of his dying mother AND giving the guy a second chance) Do you think you might have some codependent traits? Maybe reading about codependency might help sort out some of these feelings, or even joining a support group like codependents anonymous (although I realize doing these kind of things with a young child can be difficult).

 

It sounds like you are on the right path...just need to find some effective ways to bring what you know to be true into the awareness of your heart.

[Mama1986]

Thank you for replying I am going to research what codependency is and see if I can relate to it. I am all about bettering myself and moving forward in life! Thanks again

[Mama1986]

I can definitely see where I was being a codependent care taker. I gained 40 lbs. during the relationship and that is not who I am. I have always ever since I was a little girl made myself look and feel pretty and I kinda lost that with him because I took care of him first before I took cafe of myself. My mom was telling me when I do start dating again and if I notice that I'm letting myself go then I need to decide if it's a healthy relationship. I really don't even want to date for a very very very long time! I feel like I have to recoup from everything and build myself up to the woman that I want to be and I really don't want a man around so I can concentrate solely on doing that.