nohardfelines Posted March 5, 2014 Share Posted March 5, 2014 So it's over. It's been about two weeks and the 'roommate' thing seems to be working. On the surface, at least. My conundrum is this: Since we're shooting for an uncontested divorce, we need to sit down and hash out the details. I have all my lists made, all the calculations done already, all the items that need discussing ready for a cold, Vulcan-logical conversation. But I don't want to have that discussion, of course. I want my wife back. I'm afraid that any doubt in her mind will be wiped out by sitting down and dividing assets, discussing how long I'll pay her phone bill, at what point either of us is comfortable seeing other people, etc. I already know what I should do. I'm going to have the discussion with her because we need to have it and continue being friendly but as close to NC as I can be in the same house. I guess the idea of it just makes me sad, and I needed to put it into words. Oh well. Link to post Share on other sites
frigginlost Posted March 5, 2014 Share Posted March 5, 2014 Man, did your post really hit a nerve with me. I feel for you. One of the hardest things I ever went through happened with my divorce. I carried the "I want her back" feelings big time. When we met at the lawyers to draw up the split etc, I remember her pulling up in the parking lot and getting out of the car. She asked how I was, and my answer to her was "I don't want to be here as I always thought we would have a chance to work it out, and this pretty much finalizes it". She frowned and said "I'm sorry". It took everything I had to remain composed... A month later the divorce was final, and the previous 20 years of my life were over. I truly feel for you man. But... it does get better with time... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author nohardfelines Posted March 5, 2014 Author Share Posted March 5, 2014 Yeah, I feel it too. If there's one thing i'm sick of hearing, it's 'i'm sorry.' Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted March 6, 2014 Share Posted March 6, 2014 Yeah, I feel it too. If there's one thing i'm sick of hearing, it's 'i'm sorry.' I got so sick of hearing "I'm sorry" as well. It doesn't change anything. I didn't go through a divorce, but I know that when people are done, they are done. The last thing you need to attempt is to convince them to stay. Link to post Share on other sites
frigginlost Posted March 6, 2014 Share Posted March 6, 2014 Yeah, I feel it too. If there's one thing i'm sick of hearing, it's 'i'm sorry.' Oh did I ever hate hearing those words. Even now, they can stir an emotion if I correlate them to her and it's been over two years since the divorce was final. On the plus side, the ex wife and I have reconnected and we are pretty good friends. It takes a heck of a long time to reach indifference, but once you do, it's liberating. You're in for a very, very, tough haul, but just know, you will pull out of it. Link to post Share on other sites
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