"The Sisterhood" Ignored or Unheard Of?

[gettingstronger]

I was told by a coworker from Africa that there is a saying for married woman who become upset regarding a relationship outside of the marriage...

 

Considering Africas track record on human rights as a whole and womens right in particular I would take no comfort in such a saying-

 

 

 

Yes, I believe in the sisterhood and as someone mentioned the Mom code-when things get rough, its women that band together to make meals for a family in need, when we are sad- we often crave a good girl talk or girls night out-even in the animal kingdom you see females of one species taking in the orphaned of another-we laugh harder and cry harder when we are together and supporting each other- I do think that women that sleep with another womans husband are breaking the code (and yes, the man is breaking their vows but thats another Oprah) -its not sexist, we live by multiple codes in life and the sisterhood is one of them-

 

I find it interesting that a few say they do not believe in the code, that its sexist and they believe in treating all equally or whatever yet still have an affair-how does that jive- you treat all equally badly or you just treat yourself better than anyone else, no golden rule there, no regard for humanity-it confuses me-

 

That all being said- I also believe in redemption so breaking the code- any code for that matter does not damn you forever-we can all always be redeemed-and I do not mean in a strictly religious sense-

[Fluttershy]

from what i have seen the "sisterhood" or "girl code" is an excuse to be more angry at someone or be angry in the first place. It has no meaning to me whatsoever. I think the world would be a better place if we all considered other people's feelings and didn't choose to do things that would cause destructive pain to someone. What sex organs they have means nothing.

 

However, I do people when people have a like cause to fight for they join together and fight. So women joined together to fight for the right to vote. Gays to get married. and so forth. That isn't the same thing to me. And it isn't another reason to be more mad at someone purely because of their gender.

[krazikat]

I had never really heard of the concept of "sisterhood" until I came here to LS.

 

No one ever taught it to me either.

 

I learned the idea from interacting with my female friends. I knew what I thought was acceptable and what wasn't.

 

For example...After my high school best friend kissed a guy she knew I was crushing on, I learned that it hurt me and I wouldn't ever do that to someone I felt was a good friend of mine. Regardless of whether she was right to do it or not (he hit on her and wasn't interested in me), I felt that it was wrong for her to do that and then hide it from me. It was a series of experiences like this that had led me to believe that women just cannot be trusted.

 

I learned quickly that women are catty and hard to get along with. I felt like my female friends would stab me in the back way faster than any of my male friends would ever dream of doing. Male friends weren't busy talking behind my back about petty stuff and were much more likely to be up front with me. Women on the other hand made a point of talking smack about each other and didn't think twice about being two faced. All sweet to my face and talking crap behind my back.

 

So where is this supposed sisterhood? I've never really witnessed it... most definitely not with females that don't really know each other that well but not even with the ones that were supposedly my good friends.

 

It was definitely worse when I was younger, but even older women are not against gossiping, being nasty to and about each other and certainly not against the idea of bedding a man who is already involved in a relationship.

 

Even to this day, I still prefer male friendship. It brings a LOT less drama. At 43 years old I have only come across one true female friend that is straightforward and honest to my face and is truly my best friend who accepts me as is but lets me know when I'm screwing up. She would NEVER do anything to hurt me intentionally. I've had many female friends over the years and every single one of them would likely have thrown me to the wolves if it got them what they wanted.

 

It would be really nice if we all brought each other up instead of trying to drag each other down like crabs in a bucket but I have yet to truly see anything remotely close to a sisterhood among women. Some talk of it, but rarely do they follow through on it.

 

Raena I really could have written much of this myself. Though I was taught about the sisterhood...I also learned how.vicious other women can be. i do have 4 women who I consider true loyal friends, and I have been stabbed in the back by many different women I had thought were friends, and all over men. I have many good male friends...

 

I am a nice person...usually.

 

I have learned that while I will continue to treat people how I want to be treated, I will not expect the same from them, and never trust them. Because if I expect people to be honest, good, and reliable I will only be disappointed. I tend to see the good in people but recent life experience (not the A but I suppose that impacts my thought process) has shown me caution, rather than blind faith in goodness, would better serve me to avoid being disappointed.

 

There are many people who only think of themselves. They do things without thinking of how their actions may impact others. We are all guilty of this I am sure, usually without even realizing it..but it fits this discussion. Cheating, whether you are the AP or the WS, is a perfect example. The willful act of cheating is done knowing that there will be severe hurt inflicted...yet not caring enough about that pain to another person(s), only what the cheater wants.

 

It is just so ugly, isn't it?

[tbf]

I don't think in terms of sisterhood or not. Only in terms of friendship or not, whether male or female friend and the type of behaviour that's respectful between us.

[topaMAXX]

What Is the Meaning of Sisterhood - Ask.com

 

The link above gives some definitions of sisterhood.

 

Has anyone heard of these situations termed as sisterhood? The statement given that best decribes my understanding is "united we stand, divided we falll"

 

Women used to have a gross disadvantage comparred to men...and these days...guezs what we still are at a dosadvantage but it is not as focused on...

 

LOL and what disadvantage is that?

[Eggplant]

I would love some genuine women friends.

[krazikat]

LOL and what disadvantage is that?

 

Hooked on Phonics? Perhaps? Lol. Using my phone to post doesn't always work in my benefit.

[AjisenHi]

Anyone just burst out laughing at the title of the movie

"Sisterhood of the travelling Pants" In reference to the Loveshack forums?

 

I must be lucky as sisterhood is very much an accepted concept in my culture. A I see it, a sisterhood comes about amongst those who have had similar experiences or go through the same "rites of passage" and are there to support each other through thick and thin.

 

My Mom had a very strong circle of female friends when I was growing up and I had my sister and female cousins and daughters of my Mom friends who all remain my friends to this day.

 

We've had boyfriend crisis, self image issues, pregnancy, birth of children , wandering husbands, teen angst , financial triumphs and disasters, the whole ride. Through it, we all have grown and matured and I think become more sympathetic to other women.

 

Just a kind word to a struggling tired young mother of a crying baby

" I've been there, it will get better" from a "sister" you don't know helps so much to get you through a difficult time.

 

I think a sisterhood is special, just like a good brotherhood is special and different from one another because of our life experiences.

 

That's why the condemnation when a sister breaks the "code".

 

Just my $0.02

[Emilia]

I dislike cliques. Not part of any at work or socially or here on LS. I believe in treating people based on decency and integrity as pteromom said. Often when I see references to 'sisterhood' it's about winning the approval of other women for various reasons. I think too much oestrogen is bad the same way as too much testosterone is. No group control for me, thanks.

[Raena]

Anyone just burst out laughing at the title of the movie

"Sisterhood of the travelling Pants" In reference to the Loveshack forums?

 

I must be lucky as sisterhood is very much an accepted concept in my culture. A I see it, a sisterhood comes about amongst those who have had similar experiences or go through the same "rites of passage" and are there to support each other through thick and thin.

 

My Mom had a very strong circle of female friends when I was growing up and I had my sister and female cousins and daughters of my Mom friends who all remain my friends to this day.

 

We've had boyfriend crisis, self image issues, pregnancy, birth of children , wandering husbands, teen angst , financial triumphs and disasters, the whole ride. Through it, we all have grown and matured and I think become more sympathetic to other women.

 

Just a kind word to a struggling tired young mother of a crying baby

" I've been there, it will get better" from a "sister" you don't know helps so much to get you through a difficult time.

 

I think a sisterhood is special, just like a good brotherhood is special and different from one another because of our life experiences.

 

That's why the condemnation when a sister breaks the "code".

 

Just my $0.02

 

I think it must be really nice to have such a close knit group of women to go to.

 

Now that I think about it I do know some families that are like that. All the women band together to help each other out. They dog each other out just as quick but push come to shove and they are there for each other.

 

I wish my family was like that. Sadly, we are not.

[Radu]

It sounds discriminatory to be excluded from this based on gender.

 

'The brotherhood' will hear of this.

[krazikat]

It sounds discriminatory to be excluded from this based on gender.

 

'The brotherhood' will hear of this.

 

Lol. The brotherhood is more often referred to as "The Good Ol' Boys" club. I dont think you want any part of that!

 

But isnt there a bros code? "Bros before hoes" and all that?

[krazikat]

I dislike cliques. Not part of any at work or socially or here on LS. I believe in treating people based on decency and integrity as pteromom said. Often when I see references to 'sisterhood' it's about winning the approval of other women for various reasons. I think too much oestrogen is bad the same way as too much testosterone is. No group control for me, thanks.

 

I also dislike cliques. The idea of the sisterhood is not supposed to be a clique but a trusted support system...it is unfortunate that these ideas of the concept being a clique are present...but with technology and social media communication and support are a changin'

[krazikat]

Anyone just burst out laughing at the title of the movie

"Sisterhood of the travelling Pants" In reference to the Loveshack forums?

 

I must be lucky as sisterhood is very much an accepted concept in my culture. A I see it, a sisterhood comes about amongst those who have had similar experiences or go through the same "rites of passage" and are there to support each other through thick and thin.

 

My Mom had a very strong circle of female friends when I was growing up and I had my sister and female cousins and daughters of my Mom friends who all remain my friends to this day.

 

We've had boyfriend crisis, self image issues, pregnancy, birth of children , wandering husbands, teen angst , financial triumphs and disasters, the whole ride. Through it, we all have grown and matured and I think become more sympathetic to other women.

 

Just a kind word to a struggling tired young mother of a crying baby

" I've been there, it will get better" from a "sister" you don't know helps so much to get you through a difficult time.

 

I think a sisterhood is special, just like a good brotherhood is special and different from one another because of our life experiences.

 

That's why the condemnation when a sister breaks the "code".

 

Just my $0.02

 

Lol yes. It is fitting! You totally hit the nail on the head...this is exactly what I am talking about.

[Emilia]

I also dislike cliques. The idea of the sisterhood is not supposed to be a clique but a trusted support system...it is unfortunate that these ideas of the concept being a clique are present...but with technology and social media communication and support are a changin'

It is unfortunate, I don't see how technology has any bearing on human nature except for exposing it more. Support also often implies control, it stands to reason to suppose that individuals who help to cement the group get more help than those that don't.

 

Not everyone requires support either, it is an individual's right to distance themselves from a group if they wish to do so and not to be seen as betraying the 'sisterhood'.

[gettingstronger]

I am sorry so many of you have had issues with other women- I see that a lot- I have also been very lucky in having a good group of female friends most of my life- I can see at work how vicious people can be to each other-I am a teacher and I see little girls as young as first grade displaying really awful behavior- I talked with a Mom about her daughters behavior only to find out she was just like her-it was a sad commentary on life-

[Got it]

There have been a few discussions where "The Sisterhood" topic has been brought up. A while ago, I promised to start a thread about it and just got busy and distracted, so as they say, better late than never!

 

This discussion is open to anyone, and can be about anything related to the belief or lack thereof in "The Sisterhood" and how it may or may not include such things as sleeping with another womans man.

 

When did you first hear of the sisterhood? (yes, saying "this thread" is an appropriate answer)

 

What are your thoughts on "The Sisterhood"?

 

Do you think it really boils down to general respect, the golden rule, morals, or something else entirely?

 

Anything else that ties in?

 

Please keep it respectful...

 

I had never heard of it into LS. I find it very odd to feel I need to align myself with my gender because we share the commonality of a sex organ. I do not believe that things should be so gender focused and actually continues the belief that the sexes are separate and "equal". It is about individuals not genders.

 

So yes, more of the Golden Rule among humans not among same sex.

[krazikat]

It is unfortunate, I don't see how technology has any bearing on human nature except for exposing it more. Support also often implies control, it stands to reason to suppose that individuals who help to cement the group get more help than those that don't.

 

Not everyone requires support either, it is an individual's right to distance themselves from a group if they wish to do so and not to be seen as betraying the 'sisterhood'.

 

I am guessing you are young and/or dont use tech often?

 

Technology is changing the way people communicate and how fast people can get things.

 

With technology where it is today, instant gratification is often right at your finger tips. People communicate via texting, social media, etc. This capability has exploded over the past decade...primarily over the last 5 or so years ease of access has increased. Millions of children have smartphones and are tied to their phones. You hear of online bullying, teen sexting, suicide letters posted on facebook, stalking done online, etc.

 

Additionally, people have started to grow accustomed to instant access to what they want, and in some instances the ability to get whatever they want. Technology is impacting how people behave.

 

Does that make sense? Google it of you still have doubt...you have instant information right at your fingertips!

[Got it]

I was told by a coworker from Africa that there is a saying for married woman who become upset regarding a relationship outside of the marriage...

 

Considering Africas track record on human rights as a whole and womens right in particular I would take no comfort in such a saying-

 

 

 

Yes, I believe in the sisterhood and as someone mentioned the Mom code-when things get rough, its women that band together to make meals for a family in need, when we are sad- we often crave a good girl talk or girls night out-even in the animal kingdom you see females of one species taking in the orphaned of another-we laugh harder and cry harder when we are together and supporting each other- I do think that women that sleep with another womans husband are breaking the code (and yes, the man is breaking their vows but thats another Oprah) -its not sexist, we live by multiple codes in life and the sisterhood is one of them-

 

I find it interesting that a few say they do not believe in the code, that its sexist and they believe in treating all equally or whatever yet still have an affair-how does that jive- you treat all equally badly or you just treat yourself better than anyone else, no golden rule there, no regard for humanity-it confuses me-

 

That all being said- I also believe in redemption so breaking the code- any code for that matter does not damn you forever-we can all always be redeemed-and I do not mean in a strictly religious sense-

 

I think you are assuming gender roles that do not translate to all females. I don't believe that it is all women that band together to make meals or coddle an orphan or laugh or cry more together. I am sorry, but that is not my life.

 

While I have close longer term female friends the majority of my friends were male or my closer friends. I am not a "girly girl". I tend to share traits more similar to generalized male traits so I am more solution driven and task oriented than nurturing. I will do so but I would rather solve the issue than tend to those that are doing so.

 

I cry and laugh best with others who share my lines of logic, sense of human, common interests and world views. Gender does not play a factor in that. I grew up being told that there was no difference between myself and my male family members and I could do anything I set my mind to doing. There was no difference between us so I didn't grow up seeing gender.

 

Even now, I like people for the way they think and act, not for their gender. So some of them are female and some of them are male.

 

Re: affairs. Sure, it is more about breaking the Golden Rule about others not about an alliance towards someone else because of their sex parts.

 

I also have never seen myself competitive with other women per say. I am competitive with myself and challenging myself but I detest gossiping and see it poorly of anyone who does it. I support and promote those that deserve it based on their individual attributes. And from working in a very competitive industry I can say that my experience is that men gossip FAR worse than women. They call it "talking" but they are worse than a bunch of hens.

[Emilia]

I am guessing you are young and/or dont use tech often?

I am old and I use technology all the time. I work for a telecommunication/technology company.

Technology is changing the way people communicate and how fast people can get things.

 

With technology where it is today, instant gratification is often right at your finger tips. People communicate via texting, social media, etc. This capability has exploded over the past decade...primarily over the last 5 or so years ease of access has increased. Millions of children have smartphones and are tied to their phones. You hear of online bullying, teen sexting, suicide letters posted on facebook, stalking done online, etc.

 

Additionally, people have started to grow accustomed to instant access to what they want, and in some instances the ability to get whatever they want. Technology is impacting how people behave.

 

Does that make sense? Google it of you still have doubt...you have instant information right at your fingertips!

Or you can have actual life experiences rather than just google things and believe everything you read

 

People are people. Human nature doesn't change due to technology, it accentuates what there is already. Instant access, wider networks expose who you are. All the things you listed already existed before technology but now it's much harder to get away from them (if you buy into allowing social media to control your life, that is).

[krazikat]

What Is the Meaning of Sisterhood - Ask.com

 

The link above gives some definitions of sisterhood.

 

Has anyone heard of these situations termed as sisterhood? The statement given that best decribes my understanding is "united we stand, divided we falll"

 

 

 

Just quoting this again. For those who dont believe or have never heard of the sisterhood....would you be willing to do a quick internet search and let us know what you find? I am not making this stuff up! I am surprised at the negativity some of you associate with this. It is supposed to be a good thing, something of support, help, trust, etc. Is it the name, would it just be easier to call it the golden rule?

[gettingstronger]

Got it- I understand your point, but even in your explanation you tended to assign traits based on gender-you consider your traits to be more shared by men than women-so yes, even you acknowledge if not follow those gender roles-they exist

 

As far as social media- I so agree that it plays a role in our humanity- I believe it will be one of the biggest challenges of our kids generation- we work hard at school to teach kids kindness and the "golden rule" both online and IRL-they have a hard time with the online stuff as do adults- just look at some of the stuff posted here on LS- I have a thread open and some of the comments are like WTF, why even comment if thats all you have to offer-I know IRL no one would say those things to me but online its just fine and maybe gives them a minute of feeling powerful or superior-

[krazikat]

I am old and I use technology all the time. I work for a telecommunication/technology company.

 

Or you can have actual life experiences rather than just google things and believe everything you read

 

People are people. Human nature doesn't change due to technology, it accentuates what there is already. Instant access, wider networks expose who you are. All the things you listed already existed before technology but now it's much harder to get away from them (if you buy into allowing social media to control your life, that is).

 

We can agree to disagree.

 

I was suggesting research, not for you to believe everything you read. If my statememt was missleading, I apologize. But it is quite fantastic that all that information is right there, at your fingertips. And just because you work for a tech company doesnt mean that you use tech the same as those raised using tech as their lifeline.

 

And yes, life experience also contributes to my understanding of how tech is changing the ways and whys people communicate and what people find as acceptable to communicate.

[Got it]

Got it- I understand your point, but even in your explanation you tended to assign traits based on gender-you consider your traits to be more shared by men than women-so yes, even you acknowledge if not follow those gender roles-they exist

 

As far as social media- I so agree that it plays a role in our humanity- I believe it will be one of the biggest challenges of our kids generation- we work hard at school to teach kids kindness and the "golden rule" both online and IRL-they have a hard time with the online stuff as do adults- just look at some of the stuff posted here on LS- I have a thread open and some of the comments are like WTF, why even comment if thats all you have to offer-I know IRL no one would say those things to me but online its just fine and maybe gives them a minute of feeling powerful or superior-

 

No, what I said was what one would perceive to be male related traits. I did not say I agreed with that but since the original post spoke about "female" traits I was then showing the difference in my own personality. So it was speaking towards the poster's stance not my belief.

 

No I don't agree they exist outside of a socially constructed practice. They have not found in many studies that they are actual germane traits tied to genetics and instead show they are traits that we start teaching children even as young as infants. They show in studies the reaction differences of adults to female and male babies when they cry in creating/developing these gender differences.

[Charlie Harper]

Women are mean to each other....by nature.

 

thousands of years ago men went out to hunt, and they bonded, because if they did not they would have been devoured or attacked and killed by animals, if they did not make a team also they would not have killed for food...so both alternatives needed bonding.

 

MENWHILE AT THE CAVE....

 

Women kept plotting on how to get the strongest, best male of the clan, so they fought each other...

 

And it still going on, they want the handsomest with more money and stuff, and if they have to stab another woman in the back they will do so...

 

Just read the book "I can't believe she said that"..about women at work and you will see what I mean... there is no such thing as sisterhood.... SADLY.