"The Sisterhood" Ignored or Unheard Of?

[Got it]

Just quoting this again. For those who dont believe or have never heard of the sisterhood....would you be willing to do a quick internet search and let us know what you find? I am not making this stuff up! I am surprised at the negativity some of you associate with this. It is supposed to be a good thing, something of support, help, trust, etc. Is it the name, would it just be easier to call it the golden rule?

 

I don't understand why the drive to show that it "exists". Lots of stuff is posted on the internet, doesn't mean it is actually factual. Just that someone posted up on the world wide web.

 

Show me this based on actual scientific studies then we can talk. Showing me something from ask.com isn't supporting evidence.

 

You can find loads about Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny as well if you google it.

 

I find it insulting that I should align myself with all other women based on the sheer fact that they are women and someone from that group should take precedence over men in my world. Why on earth should I be so limited in my view point that I need to align with only one gender? And why should I be so naive that I believe that based on a shared sex organ that their emotional, mental, psychological make up will be one that help support, promote and protect me just because of that one shared physical trait. I do not believe that having a vagina also carries suit a host of moral and ethical attributes as one has nothing to do with the other.

 

Maybe for some you were taught gender as a major defining attribute/characteristic. Some of us were not. And so an alliance based on it is perplexing at best, insulting at worst.

[Emilia]

And why should I be so naive that I believe that based on a shared sex organ that their emotional, mental, psychological make up will be one that help support, promote and protect me just because of that one shared physical trait. I do not believe that having a vagina also carries suit a host of moral and ethical attributes as one has nothing to do with the other.

 

Maybe for some you were taught gender as a major defining attribute/characteristic. Some of us were not. And so an alliance based on it is perplexing at best, insulting at worst.

Very well put, exactly my view. The whole thing is very naive and frankly an insulting fantasy. This is precisely why I avoid women who advocate some kind of 'sisterhood'. The expectation that us with a vagina should confirm to some kind standard arbitrarily set by a clique. Um, no thanks.

[krazikat]

Women are mean to each other....by nature.

 

thousands of years ago men went out to hunt, and they bonded, because if they did not they would have been devoured or attacked and killed by animals, if they did not make a team also they would not have killed for food...so both alternatives needed bonding.

 

MENWHILE AT THE CAVE....

 

Women kept plotting on how to get the strongest, best male of the clan, so they fought each other...

 

And it still going on, they want the handsomest with more money and stuff, and if they have to stab another woman in the back they will do so...

 

Just read the book "I can't believe she said that"..about women at work and you will see what I mean... there is no such thing as sisterhood.... SADLY.

 

 

**** that is messed up but rings true.

 

So, lets pose another question...honestly how many women feel like they have to compete woth other women?

 

Like I said earlier, I do compare myself with other women appearance-wise but force myself to redirect these thoughts. I dont trust other women. So even though I am not out there actively competing with other women, I do have some traits showing competition with women...

[gettingstronger]

I still feel like you all are picking out the worst examples of female behaviors rather than the best- I do believe women in general tend to be very nurturing and caring- we do bond for the good of all-

I have so enjoyed this conversation and varying views-makes it hard to go to work this morning because I like discussing this type of thing and hearing varying POV's-

Thanks to you all- especially those that challenge my thinking-

[peaksandvalleys]

Come on not sleeping with another one's man. Women are bad for that because women give other women the tools to get their man. The go into detail about how good he is or sexually how good he is. Men just want to find a woman like that. Women just want that man

 

 

I have or disagree with this. Just because one talks (not a good thing) about their significant other should mean that it is okay to cross a boundary and in my opinion disrespect so many in the process. For me that is like one of my employees saying how easy it was to steal from me on the job and another decides to do the same. If you don't steal it doesn't how much someone tells you. You just won't do it. I think it is a worse part of human nature to want what someone else has regardless of gender.

[Got it]

And for those that believe and support this "sisterhood" concept what are you doing to help promote your fellow females. Is this a life campaign? Are you mentoring young females in your community and work? Are you making sure to create company initiatives that will further develop and promote women in your company/industry. Do you make sure to financially support other women in their development?

 

What are you actually DOING to help the betterment of womankind? Or is this something that just get's trotted out when you feel that a particular woman should have done something differently or as an armchair gossip about current events in your community and the world? Is this a way to keep women in line to then try and keep men in line by indirect influence because if one can get ALL females to act chaste then it will have to keep men coming home? Isn't that a sexist and passive aggressive stance to not hold each individual accountable to their actions?

 

Because, what I have seen, following up this opine for Sisterhood is a follow up that excuses men for their actions but women accountable for theirs. And I think that is bunk.

[katielee]

I have a pack of girlfriends that have helped me through this. They have never stabbed me in the back - they include my Mom and sister as well, and my daughters are nearing the age when we are more like friends. The sisterhood is alive and well - at least in my area. They are as important to me as family members... I don't feel any need to compete with them and we all have our strengths and weaknesses.

[Charlie Harper]

I know a lot of women, and have quite a few women friends, I am brutally honest with them, and they tell me tons of stuff, it never ceases to amaze me how some of them "friends" stab each other and criticize almost anything...its almost laughable. Quite SAD. Women compete all the time, clothes, work, offspring, beauty, AGE, cars, surgeries, you name it... even if they have some trouble, they will find a way to get even.

 

The incredible thing is that REALITY has nothing to do with it, they can be drop dead gorgeous and intelligent and successful, and be jealous of someone who is not as fortunate for even a very small detail... and that brings part 2 of the equation where, the super cute intelligent and successful lady will chase a spineless/good for nothing guy because he is the leader of the pack, or a "man´s man"....whatever that means.

[Got it]

I still feel like you all are picking out the worst examples of female behaviors rather than the best- I do believe women in general tend to be very nurturing and caring- we do bond for the good of all-

I have so enjoyed this conversation and varying views-makes it hard to go to work this morning because I like discussing this type of thing and hearing varying POV's-

Thanks to you all- especially those that challenge my thinking-

 

And I know a number of men who share the same traits. I think it is insulting that you do not see men capable of being this way as well. I know many nurturing and caring men.

 

And no, no one bonds for "the good of all". That is far too Pollyanna for me. I actually don't understand it. Who is "all"? and who is deciding what is best for them? I am? I don't see myself being so omnipotent.

[AjisenHi]

I think it must be really nice to have such a close knit group of women to go to.

 

Now that I think about it I do know some families that are like that. All the women band together to help each other out. They dog each other out just as quick but push come to shove and they are there for each other.

 

I wish my family was like that. Sadly, we are not.

 

Sending you, my sister, a HUG.

[krazikat]

I don't understand why the drive to show that it "exists". Lots of stuff is posted on the internet, doesn't mean it is actually factual. Just that someone posted up on the world wide web.

 

Show me this based on actual scientific studies then we can talk. Showing me something from ask.com isn't supporting evidence.

 

You can find loads about Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny as well if you google it.

 

I find it insulting that I should align myself with all other women based on the sheer fact that they are women and someone from that group should take precedence over men in my world. Why on earth should I be so limited in my view point that I need to align with only one gender? And why should I be so naive that I believe that based on a shared sex organ that their emotional, mental, psychological make up will be one that help support, promote and protect me just because of that one shared physical trait. I do not believe that having a vagina also carries suit a host of moral and ethical attributes as one has nothing to do with the other.

 

Maybe for some you were taught gender as a major defining attribute/characteristic. Some of us were not. And so an alliance based on it is perplexing at best, insulting at worst.

 

Why is the idea of treating other women with respect and support so appalling to you?

 

Thay is what my umderstanding of the sisterhood is...like I posted before the theory of "unites we stand, divided we fall"

 

Like I have said, you can choose to do your own research on the subject, I was simply showing an example of the idea coming from someone other than myself or other ls posters. I am sorry if this offends you.

 

Regarding your gender/sex organ comments...there are differences between women and men that will never be made equal...the sex organs women are blessed with also carry children, who are brought into the world via said organ. There are differences between men and women...but there are many women who just get along better with men...I actually believe that is very common.

Edited March 6, 2014 by krazikat

[gettingstronger]

And for those that believe and support this "sisterhood" concept what are you doing to help promote your fellow females. Is this a life campaign? Are you mentoring young females in your community and work? Are you making sure to create company initiatives that will further develop and promote women in your company/industry. Do you make sure to financially support other women in their development?

 

 

Yes, yes and yes-

I am a teacher and I mentor young girls interested in engineering- I have a particular interest in girls that do not have a strong family background and I take them to a variety of outings geared towards going to college- I follow them after they leave elementary school providing ongoing support and even helped a few write their college essays and get scholarship money- I also love the underdog girls, the ones on the outside of the cliques that develop way too early, the ones that are a little taller or a little larger than the rest, the ones that don't quite fit in- I champion them and help them see inside themselves- I have a "Pink" group at school and they lean on each other and gain strength from each other-they do depend on each other based on their shared experience of being a girl in a society that does have differing expectations for them based on gender- I believe in taking whats good about being a girl and using it as a strength, not a weakness-its not sexist, its empowering girls to embrace who and what they are- girls process differently, thats not my opinion, thats research based with miles and miles of data to back it up-

[Got it]

Why is the idea of treating other women with respect and support so appalling to you?

 

Thay is what my umderstanding of the sisterhood is...like I posted before the theory of "unites we stand, divided we fall"

 

Like I have said, you can choose to do your own research on the subject, I was simply showing an example of the idea coming from someone other than myself or other ls posters. I am sorry if this offends you.

 

Regarding your gender/sex organ comments...there are differences between women and men that will never be made equal...the sex organs women are blessed with also carry children, who are brought into the world via said organ. There are differences between men and women...but there are many women who just get along better with men...I actually believe that is very common.

 

Where on earth did I say treating women with respect is appalling to me!?!

 

What I said is treating women differently than men because we share a common trait is what I disagree with. Why do you find you should treat men differently and with less respect than women just because they don't share the same sex organ? Why do you feel it is okay to discriminate?

[topaMAXX]

Hooked on Phonics? Perhaps? Lol. Using my phone to post doesn't always work in my benefit.

 

I'm not surprised that you evade the question. Women are actually privileged. Men currently are at a disadvantage.

[krazikat]

Where on earth did I say treating women with respect is appalling to me!?!

 

What I said is treating women differently than men because we share a common trait is what I disagree with. Why do you find you should treat men differently and with less respect than women just because they don't share the same sex organ? Why do you feel it is okay to discriminate?

 

I must have missunderstood your intent.

 

Like you must have missunderstood mine? Because man alive I am confused! Where did I say to treat men with less respect? And I also never said that I felt it was okay to discriminate...and, for the record, I strongly oppose discrimination.

 

As I have stated, it is respect, support, trust among women...and that I was taught by my grandmother. If she was still here i would ask her where she got it from.

[krazikat]

I'm not surprised that you evade the question. Women are actually privileged. Men currently are at a disadvantage.

 

Oh, I didnt realize you were asking a question, I seriously thought you were making fun of my typos.

 

I recently experienced a workplace in which women were openly discriminated against and were paid, on average, about $20k less than the men doing the same job. This company actually boasts about equality in their workforce but it is a farce.

 

I do agree that there are some areas where women may have an advantage, or appear to have am advantage. But thats just it...from my experience women are still at a disadvantage but it is well hidden. I am a corporate manager and the fact that I am a woman is frequently brought up. There are even special business classes for women.

 

How do you see men at a disadvantage?

[Got it]

I must have missunderstood your intent.

 

Like you must have missunderstood mine? Because man alive I am confused! Where did I say to treat men with less respect? And I also never said that I felt it was okay to discriminate...and, for the record, I strongly oppose discrimination.

 

As I have stated, it is respect, support, trust among women...and that I was taught by my grandmother. If she was still here i would ask her where she got it from.

 

Sure, I am for all groups that are at a disadvantage. With my position and role my job is to promote and create policy and initiatives that will promote all levels of diversity. But I do not have to be part of each protected class to promote them. So I am for all individuals who need supporting but it isn't a carte blanche that I must support each individual in said group nor does it mean I have to identified by said group either.

 

I promote respect, support and trust among humans. Period. I do not put this bar higher for other females nor do I expect it from females more than males. It is a baseline for the human species. When one transgresses in these areas, it is against the human race and the individual specifically and not because of their gender.

 

The only time that would happen would be, say work related, where I helped implement a practice/policy that was actually against a protected class and so based on a class action concern would conclude it is a sweeping discrimination.

 

My question was because if you expect women to highlight respect, support and concern of other women as their primary focus that, then, could be at the detriment of those that don't fall into that class, i.e. men. So if one is favoring or prioritizing one class/gender over another then by default they are discriminating favorably for said class and unfavorably for other(s).

 

If one feels that you should support, respect, etc. all humans in the human race then it includes all subsets of said race and then would not discriminate against others unfavorably.

[Spark1111]

Women are mean to each other....by nature.

 

thousands of years ago men went out to hunt, and they bonded, because if they did not they would have been devoured or attacked and killed by animals, if they did not make a team also they would not have killed for food...so both alternatives needed bonding.

 

MENWHILE AT THE CAVE....

 

Women kept plotting on how to get the strongest, best male of the clan, so they fought each other...

 

And it still going on, they want the handsomest with more money and stuff, and if they have to stab another woman in the back they will do so...

 

Just read the book "I can't believe she said that"..about women at work and you will see what I mean... there is no such thing as sisterhood.... SADLY.

 

I disagree.

 

Meanwhile AT THE CAVE women had to bond together to share resources and protect THE CLAN while the men were out hunting. If they did not, they, or even worse, one of their offspring could die.

[Spark1111]

Sure, I am for all groups that are at a disadvantage. With my position and role my job is to promote and create policy and initiatives that will promote all levels of diversity. But I do not have to be part of each protected class to promote them. So I am for all individuals who need supporting but it isn't a carte blanche that I must support each individual in said group nor does it mean I have to identified by said group either.

 

I promote respect, support and trust among humans. Period. I do not put this bar higher for other females nor do I expect it from females more than males. It is a baseline for the human species. When one transgresses in these areas, it is against the human race and the individual specifically and not because of their gender.

 

The only time that would happen would be, say work related, where I helped implement a practice/policy that was actually against a protected class and so based on a class action concern would conclude it is a sweeping discrimination.

 

My question was because if you expect women to highlight respect, support and concern of other women as their primary focus that, then, could be at the detriment of those that don't fall into that class, i.e. men. So if one is favoring or prioritizing one class/gender over another then by default they are discriminating favorably for said class and unfavorably for other(s).

 

If one feels that you should support, respect, etc. all humans in the human race then it includes all subsets of said race and then would not discriminate against others unfavorably.

 

This sounds really, really good in THEORY, but it is not reality.

 

Men make more money and hold many more top positions in business. Are we approaching greater equality.....Yeah, making strides in western civilizations but nowhere near equality in power....NO WAY.

 

Promote all the diversity you'd like. We still live in a patriarchal power structure.

 

Conservatives gave feminism a bad name, and one called women who sought equal sexual rights and prescription paid birth control Feminazis and uh, whores. That was two years ago.

 

Until EVERY organization promotes on-site daycare and paid FMLA, we will never have true equality.

 

Our society is based on two precepts: Boys are better and girls are meant to be mothers.

 

I think feeling solidarity and displaying empathy to others who do NOT receive the same treatment is a worthy goal to embrace, whether they be a subset of women, men, or Martians.

[Furious]

It's unfortunate that many women today take for granted the rights that not so long ago were denied them. Basic rights that denied a woman even the right to vote.

 

Throughout history women were denied equality and it was women banding together who fought and were persecuted in their endeavour in sisterhood.

 

In western culture women outnumber males in higher education and that is a direct connection to sisterhood.

 

In our grandmother's day it was rare for women to be doctors, lawyers, CEO, business owners...etc,....

 

My mother,for example, was encouraged to be a secretary...find a husband and be a housewife. Whereas her brothers were encouraged and supported to achieve college degrees and to aim high.

 

Sisterhood is not about knocking down men, but rather being recognized as equals.

 

Women who have strong bonds with their mother and have strong bonds with their daughters are passing it on.

 

I have a son and he is so proud of his sister and likewise.

 

In western culture equality is mandated but there still lingers many inequalities that are gender based.

 

Millions of women throughout the world are voiceless and treated as second class citizens. I participate in giving financial support to organizations that are geared toward empowering women in third world countries. Help a woman and she will raise her children's standard of living.

 

Sisterhood is alive and well, sadly the generation that most benefitted from it say they never heard of it.

[Got it]

This sounds really, really good in THEORY, but it is not reality.

 

Men make more money and hold many more top positions in business. Are we approaching greater equality.....Yeah, making strides in western civilizations but nowhere near equality in power....NO WAY.

 

Promote all the diversity you'd like. We still live in a patriarchal power structure.

 

Conservatives gave feminism a bad name, and one called women who sought equal sexual rights and prescription paid birth control Feminazis and uh, whores. That was two years ago.

 

Until EVERY organization promotes on-site daycare and paid FMLA, we will never have true equality.

 

Our society is based on two precepts: Boys are better and girls are meant to be mothers.

 

I think feeling solidarity and displaying empathy to others who do NOT receive the same treatment is a worthy goal to embrace, whether they be a subset of women, men, or Martians.

 

Which is what I said. What I stated is what I do in REALITY not in THEORY. So I am not sure what you are actually arguing. If you are saying that what I am doing in my company, because it isn't being at the same time everyone else, is null and void. Well how on earth will things improve with that mentality?

 

We will never have TRUE equality until people stop defining a person's emotional, moral, physiological and mental capabilities being tied to gender.

[Got it]

It's unfortunate that many women today take for granted the rights that not so long ago were denied them. Basic rights that denied a woman even the right to vote.

 

Throughout history women were denied equality and it was women banding together who fought and were persecuted in their endeavour in sisterhood.

 

In western culture women outnumber males in higher education and that is a direct connection to sisterhood.

 

In our grandmother's day it was rare for women to be doctors, lawyers, CEO, business owners...etc,....

 

My mother,for example, was encouraged to be a secretary...find a husband and be a housewife. Whereas her brothers were encouraged and supported to achieve college degrees and to aim high.

 

Sisterhood is not about knocking down men, but rather being recognized as equals.

 

Women who have strong bonds with their mother and have strong bonds with their daughters are passing it on.

 

I have a son and he is so proud of his sister and likewise.

 

In western culture equality is mandated but there still lingers many inequalities that are gender based.

 

Millions of women throughout the world are voiceless and treated as second class citizens. I participate in giving financial support to organizations that are geared toward empowering women in third world countries. Help a woman and she will raise her children's standard of living.

 

Sisterhood is alive and well, sadly the generation that most benefitted from it say they never heard of it.

 

You are ignoring and negating all the MEN who joined this cause as well. The feminist movement was not solely female based. It was both men and women, of multiple ethnicity, ages and backgrounds.

 

That is like saying that the fight for equality for blacks was only done by those who were black.

[Furious]

You are ignoring and negating all the MEN who joined this cause as well. The feminist movement was not solely female based. It was both men and women, of multiple ethnicity, ages and backgrounds.

 

That is like saying that the fight for equality for blacks was only done by those who were black.

 

You're putting words in my mouth. I respect and admire men who joined in the cause of sisterhood. Those men were a minority in a society that was predominately misogynistic.

[hotpotato]

I disagree.

 

Meanwhile AT THE CAVE women had to bond together to share resources and protect THE CLAN while the men were out hunting. If they did not, they, or even worse, one of their offspring could die.

 

That's an alliance, not a friendship or "sisterhood."

Spending a lot of time together doesn't mean they are emotionally close.

 

But that proves the point I've made elsewhere. Many female friendships are really alliances or fair weather freindships.

 

I have never heard of the sisterhood IRL, and I've yet to see it.

Edited March 6, 2014 by hotpotato

[cocorico]

There have been a few discussions where "The Sisterhood" topic has been brought up. A while ago, I promised to start a thread about it and just got busy and distracted, so as they say, better late than never!

 

This discussion is open to anyone, and can be about anything related to the belief or lack thereof in "The Sisterhood" and how it may or may not include such things as sleeping with another womans man.

 

When did you first hear of the sisterhood? (yes, saying "this thread" is an appropriate answer)

 

What are your thoughts on "The Sisterhood"?

 

Do you think it really boils down to general respect, the golden rule, morals, or something else entirely?

 

Anything else that ties in?

 

Please keep it respectful...

 

I think "the sisterhood" is some kind of American thing. I've seen it referenced in US popular culture and here, which is largely US dominated, but never encountered it IRL. And so I can only assume, based on how it's been represented, that what it means is some kind of "sisters before misters" thing where the girls band together to one-up the guys because one of the girls suffered some perceived slight at the hands of a guy.

 

It's entirely foreign to me. I don't feel any special connection to someone who shares my skin colour, or hair colour, or age group, so why should I feel an affiliation because we share a sex chromosome? I bond with those whose values I share, whose interests resonate, whose lives interest me and who enjoy being with. Some are women, some are men... though historically it's been more men because of where I've worked, my interests, etc. I'm not girly, I hate shopping, I've never been inside a beautician's or a nail salon, and I don't watch Downton Abbey, so that immediately reduces the proportion of women I'd have anything in common with.

 

I treat people with the respect they warrant - no one gets a free ride because of their gender, or their class, or their colour. And I expect exactly the same treatment back. If some woman was giving me a softer ride because I had a uterus, I'd be offended.